We Back. Here's The Best game Ever. (Patreon)

No, not Final Fantasy 7, i meant the other best game ever. No, damn it, not Dinosaurs For Hire, either. 

Not Cool Spot. Not Bust a Move 2, Not even the fabled PS1 Frogger. Look, there's a lot of best games ever. But I'm talking about Mr. Big Dick King Kong Swingin Dong Games-Can-Be-Art-Now himself, the Prince of the Prom, The Shadow Of The Fockin Colossus.

I played it for 3 and a half hours, and fell in love with it all over again every 5 seconds. I was gonna beat the whole game but then my scoliosis started acting up, and my hip broke, and my alzheimers got lost in the woods, and my toupee' flew away, and my dentures fell out, and the ghost of Jacob Marley was telling me it's bed time. I had the stupidest 3 dreams too. 

So i got about halfway through the game, 8 big bois down. Speaking of Big Boi, their so called Endless Spaghetti is a lie. Oh sure, you can get more, but the first plate is big enough to fill a hungry colossus boi so what's the point? Theoretically you could ask for another plate in a box to take home, but that's just shameful. 

This is the best game ever made and believe it or not the 1 in a million remake that actually succeeds in improving upon the original. The graphics are better, the world is more byooty-full, the boi is more handsome, the big bois are more big, the lady is more dead, and more pretty, and everything about it just relentlessly kicks the ass of every other game you've ever played. 

I will continue this quest, and beat it, eventually. When I feel like it. But i think for now watching me babble like an immigrant on 60s drugs for 3 and a half hours while hanging off a dudes beard and scouring the land for more hallucinatory fruits is about as much fun as anyone can handle. 

Basically, what i'm trying to say is.... my Twitch is back! What do you know. I really thought it was gone forever but it just flipped back on. I guess 30 days in funny people prison is all they can throw at a first time offender (well, first time being caught anyway). Now i'm out on permanent charisma probation. Oh I've learned my lesson, massa. I won'ts be funny or cool never again, nu uh i swears it. 

https://www.twitch.tv/endlessjess

Its my first day out, baby. So i just had to celebrate with all my creatures of the night by playing one of those dang old good ass video gamez, and this game playin train ain't stoppin till we get to Kalamazoo. Who knows, if you're bored enough, and up late enough, you might just be in time to catch me live. 

Watch me while you can, I assume its just a matter of time before i get caught being too funny and cool and banned once again. I can't help myself. I'm too funny to live and too cool to die. Me trying not to be hilarious and entertaining is like Bugs Bunny trying not to dress in women's clothes and shirk his child support (we all know the truth about Babs and Buster). Ain't I a stinka? NUGGA-NUGGA-NOOCH!