Weeb Rap 2018 (Patreon)

Here is my fashionably late contribution to the 2018 edition of Ninoh's anime youtuber rap battle thing. At least i think it's Ninoh's idea. I honestly know absolutely nothing about any of these people or their nerdy little community. All i know is that every year a bunch of anime youtubers that i've never heard of and will never watch make a bunch of bad raps, and every year i destroy them all without even trying. Except for last year, when i forgot to post one because i was busy not giving a crap.

That's not to say there aren't some good ones, Ninoh himself is very talented, as is Digi, but in the immortal words of a fellow rap-deity IMDABESS.

My favorite verse this year beside mine is by LouTalksAnime, which seemed to get lost in the shuffle and has a criminally low view count https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihBnagdyCy8.

Sadly the nature of something like this boils down to the biggest channels getting the most recognition, regardless of who's actually doing the best verses. I've listened to as many as I can stomach, and good lord. Some of these million sub-club jabronies are so poetically-challenged it hurts. These dweebs have about as much flow as a bathtub full of sand and less rhymes than an instrumental. 

Nevertheless I look forward to this every year because it's fun to flex nuts on these dorks, I don't think anyone even tagged me this year, which is fine because i never tag anybody either. There's no point, once my verse drops it's all over and everyone knows it. 

I actually recorded like 4 separate verses to this, but this was the only one that even vaguely had anything to do with anime, by which i mean there's like one Dragon Ball Z reference and I sort of give Mother's Basement a shoutout, in between lines about wrestle-matches and tying myself to train tracks like I'm on that old school Snidely Whiplash shit.  Somehow the others are even more off-topic. Probably because i've never watched another youtuber in my life and i don't know what anime is and this whole time i've just been pretending. 

I don't know what I'll do with the other 3 verses i recorded, maybe release them someday, maybe forget about them, maybe sell them to Drake. In any case, this isn't even the only track i've spewed my alphabet stew on recently. In case you missed it, i also did a guest spot on a Digi's new album, Emotional Anime Raps 2. Check it out, I'm right there on the first track, Faith In Humanity. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l1yZ793HSn0

As you can see I am very good at rapping. Yes, thank you for noticing. Okay, that's all the rapping from me you get, i can't spoil you so you'll have to wait. Maybe next year I'll finally have seen an "anime", or know who half the people are that i'm rapping at. I doubt it, because anime is stupid and youtube is lame and i'm too busy getting laid with girls to know what a goddamn Naruto is.

I mean let's be real. Let's get one thing straight. I don't know SHIT about anime, and i intend to keep it that way. I went to a sushi restaurant the other day and the lady had to explain to me over and over again the difference between Nigiri and Sashimi and i STILL ordered wrong. I am dumb as SHIT when it comes to Japan. I am a full on RETARDED PERSON who stays GAIJIN as FUCK. I'm so fucking NORMIE that when i drove 2 hours to see the Final Fantasy orchestra performance i didn't even stay for the meet and greet afterwords. That's right, i wiped the tears from my eyes and didn't even buy anything from the merchandise table. Then when i got home i ARMY-CRAWLED into bed next to my BLONDE-HAIRED, HOT CAUCASIAN WIFE, and made hot, horny love that she ENJOYED to the romantic sounds of I DON'T WANT TO MISS A THING by AEROSMITH from the SOUNDTRACK to the classic 1998 LIVE-ACTION HOLLYWOOD MOTION PICTURE, ARMAGEDDON, starring BRUCE WILLIS, and BEN AFFLECK. We BOTH achieved CLIMAX at the SAME TIME in a display of PASSION so INTENSE and CONSENSUAL that it knocked my SGT FROG WALL SCROLL right off the wall, revealing the HELL COMES TO FROG TOWN poster underneath it. Afterwords we FRENCH kissed on our EGYPTIAN sheets and SNUGGLED for WARMTH in the DEADLY FREEZING EARLY OCTOBER MICHIGAN COLD. I used my X-BOX ONE to watch DUBBED episodes of COWBOY BEBOP on the FUNIMATION streaming service account which i am MOOCHING from my SECRETARY. As the JAZZ music, SCI-FI aesthetic, and WILD WEST tone lulled me into a peaceful slumber i gripped the MISATO CROSS around my neck and THANKED GOD to be an AMERICAN before drifting off beneath the watchful protection of my CULTURALLY APPROPRIATED NATIVE AMERICAN DREAM CATCHER. 

I am on that NORMIE SHIT. 

THEN. 

NOW. 

FOREVER. 

#NormiePride #KillAllNerds #IDontKnowWhatAnimeIs #IAmNotOneOfYou