Hero Siege, Pirate Edition (exclusive) (Patreon)

Gather round, bastard boyz and cabin girlz, to hear the grog-soaked tale of a legendary hero. A hero who was mostly evil. Jetski Jane, the Insane Pirate Dame, Harlot of The High Seas and Skank of The Plank, she puts the motion in your ocean and the shank in your spank. 

Those are the official lyrics to her unofficial work-in-progress theme song. She's the star of this here motion picture. All she does is crimes and all she loves is being a salty whore. 

This is Hero Siege, a roguelike game that's not as good as binding of isaac, but is still basically pretty decent. I've accidentally sunk a few hours into it and let me tell you, it's okay. 

I like to play as the pirate girl because i can rant madly about being an evil slut. Like i always say, if you're going to be evil, or a slut, you might as well be both. And if you can be a pirate on top of it all then that's a damn hat trick, and we all know pirates have the best hats. Cowboys don't like to admit that, but those dipshits don't even have ships. They bust their balls bumping up and down on horseback which means they're basically castrated. 

My sexy pirate bimbo has more balls than cowboys and she's not even a boy. She's a girl, with a pussy and everything, and at the top of that pussy is a big red bush. They used to call her RedBush, but now only the men she rapes are allowed to call her that, so only like 91% of all men.