Opportunity Struck in Proofreading (Patreon)

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1d3tswdyj236JULaNXumGvvqIsgamO2h-OiT_ZqjJkxQ/edit?usp=sharing

I've reached the editing stage where I know there's still issues, but am having trouble identifying solutions. Rather than trying to puzzle them out alone for another few months, I'm opening up to final proofreading.