Remiel's Enlightenment - Chapter 1 (Patreon)

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After departing from Ramda's ship, Remiel settles into his new life working for Miramanna. Struggling with loneliness and his recently unearthed attraction to herms, he tries to keep his head down and weather the religious cultiness of his workplace.

As he wrestles with questions about his sexuality and identity, Remiel seeks out Ramda's horse-hung-herm friend who works at the FTL history museum. While she helps him explore his identity, he helps her make a major life decision and they fast become friends with benefits.

By the time Ramda visits him, Remiel's starting to ask deeper, more terrifying questions about himself and his life. Does he want to try to play nice with Miramanna and work on his career or does he want to rebel and take his chances?

If you like slice of life, explorations of sexuality and identity, thoughtful science fiction, and hot hybrid herm on human sex, read this story.

Remiel's Enlightenment - Chapter 1
by Zmeydros
(Edited by Tiliquain and Secretskunk)

The last day of Miramanna Earth Operations Orientation had left me feeling like a sack of tungsten bricks that had been dropped from orbit. The smoking crater around me was my life and I had no means of climbing out of it. After my time amongst the stars with Ramda, everything seemed so dim.

Luke and Hosanna hadn't seemed as drained by orientation week as me even though I had less belongings to find places for. I'd thought moving to Earth would change things and it had, but I was not making the most of it. Something was wrong with me. Something where I never felt fully like myself, like I had to make excuses for using up oxygen. Happiness still seemed like a stranger who only came over when I came up with a scheme to make it worth her while.

Why was I such a lump?

As I waved my hand in front of my apartment door all I could imagine myself doing tonight was opening a forty-centimeter-long mystery package that was leaning against my door and then just lying in bed while Cuber tried to cheer me up.

After my door and my implant exchanged security keys, it popped open. I picked up the package and set it on the gray-and-white-striped quartzite countertop to my left and then took my shoes off and put them on the shoe rack under the metal coat hooks that had been affixed to the wall just inside the door. The need for a coat was so rare in the Trilliant that I wasn't sure why there were coat hooks at all. I just used them to hang bags and produce on.

"Cuber? Are you home?" I called out.

It would've been an act of cruelty to make her stay in this long sliver of an apartment all day, but giving her freedom left me worrying that she'd get herself into trouble that I couldn't get her out of. Even though she was a common model of maintenance robot that typically went unnoticed, if someone looked closely they could tell she was built to work on starships, not mega-tall city-containing skyscrapers.

Looking at the far end of my apartment, past the herbs growing in the rectangular planter in the center of my sunroom, I could see the last sliver of the sun disappearing behind Mount Charleston.

I grabbed my package and walked through the living room into the sunroom. Because of how they arranged the studio, single bedroom, and multi-bedroom apartments, the sunrooms, even though some of them were much bigger than mine, all provided rather good panoramic views. My view wasn't as interesting as one might think, however: my apartment was over seven hundred meters above sea level. Unless you were looking at mountain peaks, cloud formations, or looking down, all that greeted your eyes was a featureless blue sky.

The moment I plopped down on the seating that was built into the walls of the room's central planter, I noticed the package was from Ramda and my heart started to race. Forget the view from my apartment, what I wanted was the view from her spaceship.

After trying and failing to open it with my bare fingers, I scanned over Cuber's bizarre, efficiently-stacked pile of junk electronics that sat under a wide plant table we'd constructed together.

Grabbing a circuit board with metal tabs for screwing it into place, I carefully cut the paper tape on the plain cardboard box and then opened it. Under a bunch of magenta tissue paper was a thick canine cock over a foot long and a canine pussy masturbator. Both were modeled perfectly to look like Ramda's herm parts.

Sighing, I wished I could feel something other than frustration. Even being annoyed and embarrassed at the way she was teasing me with it would have been an improvement.

I'd masturbated a few times thinking about her during my two move-in days, but I hadn't done anything since the five-hour-long church service that Miramanna forced on us during our first day of orientation. Subsequent days of orientation taught me that almost none of the other employees had a problem with that church service. Most of them would probably have called girls with dicks, like Ramda, an abomination without a second thought. And I'd be spending a lot of time with these people. Josiah had made it clear during orientation that working remotely wasn't an option, no matter the task. I was sure this was so they could keep an eye on us as much as possible so we didn't "stray from the path."

Since this bellyaching was doing me no good, I left the box where it was and went into the kitchen to make dinner.

Despite my sour mood, I soon had two synth-eggs and grilled synth-chicken strips sizzling in a cast iron pan. I sprinkled it all with curry powder and healthy dashes of cinnamon. It smelled delicious as I tipped it out of the pan and onto a plate. Then I salivated as I braised some lettuce and waited for my toast to pop up.

Pulling a stool out from under the kitchen island, I sat down and started eating my meal with a bit of tamarind chutney I'd picked up at an Indian grocer on the way back home from work. Other than following some general themes with ingredients, I had almost no idea what I was doing when cooking. Sometimes it tasted a bit off, but today it tasted amazing. At least I could do this one thing right, at least not every part of my life sucked...Wait, these flavors were really familiar.

My eyes went wide as I realized that I'd made a cinnamon-heavy curry flavor that tasted just like Ramda's cum. I took a deep breath to calm myself and not get carried away, but that just pulled the turmeric, curry, and cinnamon scents into my nose. I sat straight up and took long breaths through my mouth. I was overreacting. There was no reason to get this worked up about someone who'd easily forget about me within the next few months.

Now that I was on Earth and working at Miramanna, the best option was to just put my sexual urges off to the side like I'd always done. That way, I'd feel less like I was having a brain aneurysm when I was at work and listening to their rhetoric. Plus, my first day of my actual job was tomorrow and I'd need to be focused so I could start impressing them from day one. Working as a glorified office servant needed to be as temporary as possible because I already knew I hated it. Maybe Ramda had another friend on Earth I could give the sex toys to. Someone less forgettable than me.

I took another bite of my meal, trying to taste the seasonings for what they were and not compare them to Ramda. A couple bites later, I was doing fine, but then I bit into the egg yolk and immediately set my sandwich down. Blood rushed to my cheeks and crotch as I squirmed in my seat. A patch where the seasoning was prevalent mixed with the creamy texture of the yolk put me right back on the Gluttonous Pixie with Ramda. Her wonderful scent overwhelmed me as I wrapped my mouth around the pointy tip of her cock, drinking down her cum as I filled her wet snatch with my seed.

My heart was pounding and my prick was straining against my pant leg. A flood of joy and horniness swept me away to the point that my eyes teared up. I raced over to the box and pulled the toys out of their sterile packaging. Then I scanned a code on a card in the box using my implant and got some information about the toys to pop up on my HUD. I removed more tissue paper to find a bottle of cum-like lube and a bottle of clear lube before turning on the toys by pressing buttons near the back of each one. While synching my implant with them, I filled their lube reservoirs.

By this time I was panting and moaning because both toys had heated themselves up to body temperature and felt like the real thing. Pre was beading at the tip of the cock and the snatch was getting quite wet while they pulsed to a moderately fast heartbeat, just like Ramda's parts did when she was really excited and horny.

I yelped when I realized I was doing all this with my sunroom's windows completely clear and quickly pulled up the window's HUD menu, selecting "crystalize." The layer of transparent plastic just inside the window formed crystals in it as a small electric current was applied, giving the window a faceted texture that got rainbows of color to speckle the entire room.

As the pre started to drip off of the cock tip, I brought it up to my mouth and licked it up. Moaning, I shoved the warm, hard prick into my mouth, Ramda had made the lube taste a lot like her cum. Shivers ran up my spine as I sucked on the toy. Then I stopped and unzipped my pants, wanting to try out the masturbator. The moment I had my dick out, I kicked my pants off and pulled off my boxers. Then I took off my shirt too and put my Miramanna work uniform under me to protect the seating area in the sunroom from my naked body.

While sucking on the dildo, I used my other hand to shove the sleeve on my prick. It clenched as I went in, as if I was going too fast, so I slowed down. It was so wet and hot inside, so ready for me, so much like Ramda had been on that last day we were together. I started pumping it up and down my prick, groaning around the massive dildo as I tested my barely-practiced oral skills.

Fuck! If I closed my eyes, it was like Ramda was right here, feeding me her dick and riding me. I squirmed as I imagined her grabbing my head and pushing it down toward her shaft. As I felt a tightness behind my balls and a tickling on my shaft, I slowed down. I wanted to savor this, I hadn't gotten off in so long and this was exactly what I'd been needing all this time. Wetness from Ramda's pussy was dripping off of my balls and her cock was drooling pre that I was happily swallowing. These toys were amazing. Ramda was amazing!

Ngh! I wanted to feel her do something to me. Something we hadn't done yet. Searching for the relief I craved, I pulled the dildo out of my mouth and moved it down to my crotch. I could do this. I'd had sex with Ramda and I hadn't been hit by lightning for that sin. No one was here, no one would see, whatever happened was my secret. I moved the dildo between my legs, gasping as I spread them wider. The simple anticipation of what was about to happen got me thrusting into the masturbator hard enough it was making sucking noises.

Instead of pressing the cock tip up against the obvious target, my back door, my urge directed me to put it against the skin just a centimeter or three above it, where I was getting tingles from holding back on my orgasm. Where a pussy would have been if I had one. I had no idea why I wanted to be poked there, but I was too horny to analyze it.

As the warm cock tip smeared pre on that sensitive area, pressing against my prostate from the outside, I saw stars. A jolt of pleasure got every muscle in my body to tense while I squeaked from my breath catching. My orgasm triggered the dildo and it started gushing cum lube, making a warm sticky mess of my groin. Screaming, I jammed my dick into the masturbator so hard I was afraid I'd break it. As my erection erupted, Ramda's simulated snatch came around me milking me for all I was worth.

I kept rubbing the head of Ramda's prick against that magic spot behind my balls, wondering what women felt when someone was inside them. This orgasm wasn't as intense as when I'd been with Ramda, but something about where I was stimulating myself changed the feel of it. There was this warm cozy wave of bliss that settled in, making me feel like I'd scratched an itch I'd been ignoring for a long time.

Pulling the dildo up to my mouth, I sucked on it to get the last bits of the delicious cum lube. If only she'd been around so I could have shared this little moment of discovery with her.

A chill ran down my spine. What had I discovered, really? That I wondered what it was like to have a pussy, like every other guy who'd ever watched a girl cum? During my move-in days, I'd listened to audio of wikipedia articles about human sexuality and the biggest thing I'd figured out was that I wasn't all that special. There were lots of people who liked women with dicks. Lots of people wondered about things that were beyond their body's capability to experience.

It wasn't like I wanted to be a hybrid, be a woman, or a herm, or anything, I was just a curious young guy. Reading about gender dysphoria had helped me understand what Ramda went through, but it was giving me some strange ideas.

I needed to give real trans people room to exist and not worry about being one of them every time I did something new during sex. Otherwise, it was gonna be exhausting.

Cleaning up was easy and I had the toys stowed away in a drawer built into my walk-in closet a few minutes after finishing my shower. When I sat down to continue my dinner, I just sat there and smiled for a moment. I'd forgotten what it felt to be this calm inside.

As I was finishing my second curry sandwich, Cuber opened the door and strutted in on her four spider-like legs, holding a rose gold Rolex with one of her three-fingered hands.

The moment I looked at her sensor cluster, she lifted the Rolex above her cubical body and made a flurry of ascending beeps that sounded like a victory fanfare from a VR game.

My chest tightened. "How did you get that?"


END OF CHAPTER 1

I’d like to acknowledge my $20+ supporters, Arkona Kothe, Navajo Demar, Skrime, UBA, Warialinth, Xaziana Tenebris for helping make all this possible. Thank you! Thanks to all my other supporters as well. Every one of you rocks!

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