Remiel's Enlightenment - Chapter 16 (Patreon)

(Ebook) (All) (Ch. 1) (Ch. 2) (Ch. 3) (Ch. 4) (Ch. 5) (Ch. 6) (Ch. 7) (Ch. 8) (Ch. 9) (Ch.10) (Ch.11) (Ch.12) (Ch.13) (Ch.14) (Ch.15) (-----) (Ch.17) (Ramda Dakimakura)

Stricken by grief and reeling from an unexpected letter from Ichi, Ramda tries to hold it together. The granddaughter of the deceased reaches out to Ramda, reigniting an old friendship.

Remiel's Enlightenment - Chapter 16

by Zmeydros (Ramda Singlais)
(Edited by Sadie Singlais, Akikotigress, and WolfLeah)

Amelia's first message arrived as Ramda was taking a pull on a complimentary bong in her hotel room. She knew that it had an eighty percent chance of doing nothing for her grief while still fucking her up, but she didn't care. Thanks to Ichi, this day had gone from difficult to the second worst day of her life.

As THC and CBD hit her system, her limbs felt warm, her head felt light, and the tension she was holding in her neck started to fade.

The stuff she'd gotten was too strong for someone who hadn't been high for over six years. She couldn't even read Amelia's message. Her eyes drifted to the green and purple plaid curtains and then she stared through the window. If she didn't know she was in a huge, cylindrical space habitat, she would've thought the upside-down, gently curved cityscape above was a THC-fueled hallucination. The cityscape was partially obscured by clouds that drifted through the zero-g center of the habitat and particulate in the air, but she could make out the grid of the transportation system, buildings in the form of thousands of somewhat orderly specs, and the hilly topography of the green spaces. She stared in wonder, marveling at the scale of this manmade structure before turning her attention to the hotel's diamond-shaped courtyard.

All around the pool were tropical plant gardens that had lava rocks and moss along with tree ferns, monstera deliciosa, plumeria, and awapuhi. The bean-shaped, Lezveioan-style living pool in the center was flanked by a Lezveioan-style circular hot tub with heat-loving flora and fauna in it on one side and a cute, thatch-roofed bar on the other. Two-thirds of the poolgoers were nude, the social norms of Epsilon Eridani being even more relaxed than on Earth. Over half of them were full hybrids, so many species represented that they were a swirl of color to Ramda's drug-addled mind.

The visual cacophony held her attention for a solid three minutes, her eyes eventually following a Lezveioan who had brighter yellow on her back and sides and a cream-colored lighter yellow on her front. "Looks like a walking, talking banana!" She giggled to herself.

A few seconds later, she thought about how funny Ichi would've found that comment and her giggling ceased. Fucking Ichi, who had caused the worst day of her life by blowing up their relationship with a self-righteous tirade. Ichi, who had helped her get in touch with her inner wolf and then abandoned her. Ichi, who had waited eight years to send her a heartfelt letter on the same day as Chiyo Hayashi's funeral.

Chiyo's funeral! Ramda stumbled back to the bed, not even realizing she'd gotten off of it to go to the window, and moved the bong to the pressed bamboo nightstand. She then grabbed the clothes she'd laid out before she'd read Ichi's letter and scrambled to get them on. As she tried to get her stretchy dress pants on, she fell backwards onto the bed. The springs in the mattress rebounded. She started laughing and bouncing more.

She stopped dead. She was high as a kite and there was no way she could show up to the funeral like that. What the fuck was she going to do?

Getting off the bed too fast, Ramda tipped forward. As she tried to regain her balance, she ended up sitting on the edge of the bed. "Shit!" This high was hitting her like an asteroid full of TNT.

Slowly, she stood up at the end of the bed and walked to the bathroom. The texture of the stiff carpet under her paw pads was so distracting that she lost track of what she was doing for a moment and ran into the doorframe. She yelped in pain as her three left tits absorbed the blow. After she recovered, she stepped inside and looked at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were so bloodshot that they looked pink.

"Fucking fuck!" She held her muzzle as embarrassed overwhelm made her feel even more dizzy.

She stumbled back to the bed and flopped onto her front. High on weed, the comfort from her six tits smooshing against the bed was so potent her eyes drifted shut. This sudden relaxation combined with exhaustion from this morning and the night before left her no means of fending off sleep.

When her eyes opened again, she rolled onto her back, groaned, and rubbed her eyes with her paw-padded hands. The HUD from her implant was filled with message notifications from friends at the funeral asking if she was okay and the clock showed she'd slept for almost two hours. Just one letter from a long lost lover and one bad decision had kept her from giving the woman who helped her build and maintain the Pixie's biome a proper sendoff.

"Fucking Ichi!" Ramda growled and grabbed at her forehead with her blunt claws.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid! How was she this fragile? This wasn't like her. This was the sort of behavior she'd exhibited back when Ichi was around, before she'd come into her own as a starship captain. It had been almost a decade since she'd last heard from Ichi. Why now?

Groaning, she got up from the bed, her tits and balls bouncing as she teetered on her paw-padded feet. The least she could do was show up to the reception. All she had to do was tell everyone she was too emotional over Chiyo's death to hold herself together for the funeral. It was a two-hour event, no one would care if she was late for it, especially with her being honest about how devastated she was. Thank goodness, she could still--

She had to grab the doorframe to the bathroom to steady herself and then put a hand on the wall next to the toilet while she drained her bladder. The world just wouldn't stop spinning. While washing her hands, her hopes of making it to the reception dwindled to nothing. Not only was she feeling like she could topple over any second, her verdant green irises were still surrounded by red veins. It was a look more suited to a druggie Christmas special, than a funeral reception.

Putting her head in her hands, she yelled in frustration. There were drugs to help with the dizziness and red eye, but she was already late for the reception, which had started soon after the funeral, and she didn't have time to wait for them to kick in. Not showing up to the reception was better than dealing with the rumors that would start up if she arrived high on THC. Marajuana use wasn't stigmatized nearly as much as it was in antiquity, but being obviously tipsy from drug use? In this future where everyone could take video of anything they saw, showing up at a social event obviously drunk or otherwise inebriated was a great way to alienate professional contacts.

If she wanted to keep her social clout, she needed to heed the words of her old PR instructor, "Not showing up is gossip, showing up intoxicated is a headline."

Moving her tail out of the way, she sat on the edge of the bed. All she could do now was some damage control and then say goodbye to Chiyo in her own, quiet way.

The damage control consisted of a message explaining she'd been so stricken with grief that she was unable to attend the funeral and the reception. Then she pulled up the recording of the funeral and watched it, skipping the parts of the ceremony that were soulless and procedural. She laughed at some little anecdotes from a couple friends, but nothing truly engaged her until Akiko, Chiyo's granddaughter, stood up from her seat at the front.

She looked stunning as the tiger hybrid she was always meant to be. Akiko had sent pictures of her new look and a very good pre-recorded video interview where she answered all of Ramda's onboarding questions about her role as the new biomekeeper, but something about watching her walk up to the podium had Ramda spellbound. It had only been a few months since Akiko fully hybridized herself and yet she moved with a confidence and grace she'd never displayed before. Her strong feline tail added to that grace, making her truly cat-like.

Ramda growled at her tail as it started thumping on the bed. "Hey! This is a funeral, not a herms only night at a club."

Akiko got behind the podium and opened a notebook with a cover that had been made out of a decommissioned vinyl record. Akiko's green eyes, black-striped orange fur, and half red, half black head hair added splashes of color to go with her black funeral kimono. The kimono itself was plain, but the soft white and pink floral obi along with the black cord around it made for an elegant display.

After clearing her throat to get everyone's attention, she moved the mic closer to her muzzle since she was notably taller than the last speaker.

"Though we live in a cosmos filled with entropy and endless night, the stars still twinkle defiantly. Though many of them are gone, their light still touches corners of the universe it took a little longer for it to reach."

Ramda sniffled, tears threatening to spill down her cheeks once more.

"No matter where baachan is now, it brings me comfort and joy to look out and see the same endless field of stars that she always did. It brings me pride and joy that I will be caring for the beautiful gardens that she started in the world she knew, as well as countless others...some of which have yet to be touched by earthly or Lezveioan hands."

A sob escaped Ramda's muzzle, but she kept it quiet enough that she could continue listening to Akiko's eulogy.

"She taught me to see the beauty in the stars. Both in their own glittering life and defiance to time and coldness and to the leaves and blades that their warmth touches. We all sleep beneath the same starry sky. May you feel the love and joy you've brought to these little islands in this icy expanse as you ford the river of the heavens."

Akiko's beautiful words ended Ramda's battle with her tears and she howled in sadness as she fell onto her side and curled into a ball. Her sobbing was broken up by frustrated growls, her fists even pounding on the bed at one point as she thought about the fact she was definitely going to miss the reception. Ichi's letter had destroyed her chance to properly say goodbye to Chiyo, just like she'd destroyed Ramda's ability to be truly close to anyone. She had to write a letter to tell Ichi to fuck off, to never contact her again, to go back into the hole she came out of and stay there!

In the middle of Ramda growling with fury, she remembered being in Ichi's arms and cried even harder. She felt like her brain was splitting in half as a war between fury and sorrow raged within her. No amount of sobbing, hitting the bed, or thrashing seemed to help and she soon hopped out of bed. With her vision compromised by tears she searched the space just to the side of her suitcase for a bottle of gin she'd been savoring. She knocked the bottle over before picking it up and unscrewing the cap. As the fiery liquid spilled down her throat, she grimaced in pain. She'd forgotten how unpleasant it was to gulp down liquor and only managed two gulps before hacking and coughing, spitting some gin at the hotel curtains.

Setting the bottle down and securing the cap, she closed her eyes as the warm numbness from the alcohol hit her. She needed to get a hold of herself. She needed to put the mess inside her away. This was not the behavior of a Captain of a starship. This was not--she started crying again despite her efforts, toppling onto the bed with the gin bottle still in her left hand. Crying, she cradled the bottle against her and put effort into getting all the tears out.

It was a good half hour later before she wasn't getting wracked by random sobs out of nowhere. She was exhausted, her diaphragm hurting from working so hard to express her sorrow. In the quiet, on the hotel bed, a thought crystallized in her mind: blaming Ichi wasn't going to solve anything, she needed to record her own eulogy. As long as it came out sometime in the next couple days, she'd be able to show she cared. And before she sent it out, she could run it by Chiyo's granddaughter, Akiko. That way she'd get to say goodbye while saving face.

Turning off her notifications, Ramda meditated on her breath, calming herself until she was focused enough to open the file for the eulogy she was originally intending to read at the funeral. It hadn't felt personal enough when she'd practiced it last night, but she'd run out of time to edit it. She knew her eulogy would be longer than Akiko's, but Akiko was much more reserved at public events than Ramda was.

It took over twenty minutes to get what she'd wanted all along. Though she felt like shit because of them, the drugs in her system helped her get through the editing process without breaking down again. The eulogy was reading very nicely by the time she stopped fiddling with it:

When I first met Chiyo, she was standing in front of a terrarium in Akiko's college apartment holding a tiny orchid. I felt very awkward because I'd just woken up on Akiko's bed and was in a thin yukata. I should've just gone to the bathroom without causing a stir, but, being the plant nerd I am, I got fascinated by the conversation they were having. Before I knew it, I was standing right next to them.

Just as my eyes darted down to the orchid in her hands, Chiyo spotted me and looked up with her square-ish face. Her features were tempered by a feminine softness that made me feel calm just standing next to her. She was smiling just enough to set off her dimples and deepen the crows feet that led to her eyes. Her salt-and-pepper hair was freshly cut so it fell gracefully just below her ears. Dangling from her ears were earrings that consisted of four lapis lazuli beads on sparkly silver chains.

Between her thumb and index fingers on her right hand was a one inch by one inch by three inch wooden block. Clinging to the wood with bright green aerial roots was a beautiful tiny orchid that had several thumb-wide, heart-shaped, red-veined leaves. A stem, that connected to the dip in the heart shape of each leaf, led to a flower in the center no bigger than the fingernail on a pinkie finger. Each flower had three translucent petals that sat behind a magenta and yellow orchid flower that looked like two butterflies colliding in midair.

While I stood there in that yukata, Chiyo completely ignored the embarrassing context of our meeting and patiently explained that the orchid in her hands was a gift for her granddaughter. After telling me it was a lepanthes saltatrix, one of the "jewels of the cloud forest," she went on a nerdy rant about it. When I started asking questions about cultivating it on the biome in my ship, she became fascinated with what I was trying to do and Akiko soon was looking back and forth at both of us, bewildered by the situation.

We talked until my paw pads were sore from standing on the tile floor and Chiyo had found a place for that lepanthes in Akiko's terrarium. At the end of the conversation, Chiyo was asking me questions about the capabilities of my ship's biome, mentioning she'd always wanted to spend some time amongst the stars. Akiko was smiling ear to ear at how adorable the two of us were. We were three plant nerds, united by a mutual orchid obsession.

Six months and a self-indulgent business loan later, Chiyo had transformed the Pixie's biome from a relaxing place to chill to an awe-inspiring home to numerous fascinating species of tropical plants. One of the strangest things about our unique relationship is that it always grew stronger when we came to a disagreement. Like the time when Chiyo came to me saying that she wanted to get the biome licensed to carry especially rare endangered species. I initially told her no because it seemed very tangential to the original purpose of my biome and I didn't want to risk having an endangered species become even more endangered under our care.

Chiyo's response to my concerns is something that helped me grow my business to the enterprise it is today. She said, "Without risk, there is no beauty, and all beauty is temporary. If one doesn't take enough risks to create new opportunities for beauty to emerge, beauty will fade from this world."

For years, I've had no idea how to respond to that, other than to have my jaw fall open while feeling like crying. But I think, now that Chiyo's passing has taught me her final lesson, I can say something in return.

Beauty may be temporary, but as long as there are people here to remember it, it will never truly fade. Goodbye Chiyo, I hope you've gone to wherever all the beauty in the universe goes when its temporary nature finally expires.

     *

Just as Ramda was finishing a lunch of some homemade sushi from a little store down the street from the hotel, she got a message from Akiko. Are you okay?

I'm grieving, but I'll be okay. How are you holding up?

I'm feeling like a useless mess, but what else is new?

Oh, I'm there. In the middle of grieving over Chiyo, I got a message from Ichi this morning that drove me toward weed for the first time in several years. I was too fucked up to go to the funeral or the reception. Really wish I'd thought that through. Ramda's ears folded against her head in embarrassment. Akiko was someone who wouldn't judge her, but this was one of Ramda's dumbest blunders.

I remember you mentioning Ichi a few years ago, but I don't actually know that much about what happened between you two.

I can fill you in on that later. It's a lot to unpack. Ramda paused. Do you have plans for the rest of the day or are you going to just relax in your den?

While Ramda waited for Akiko's reply, she cleaned up the hotel room by putting dirty clothes in a laundry bag, rinsing off some dishes, and making her bed even though she didn't need to. Everything felt out of control, but seeing her hotel room neat and clean quashed some of her anxiety.

Sorry about the delay. I'm in the middle of a family gathering that's getting old very quickly. The fact that none of them took the time to truly understand Chiyo is becoming more obvious by the second. I'm about ready to unsheathe my claws.

Murder and a funeral is a good pairing, but it's probably better to make an excuse and ditch that event. Ramda smiled to herself: Akiko's bitchiness somehow always cheered her up.

Wish I could, but my dumb ass promised a tour of Koolau Habitat's Japanese garden followed by a tea ceremony. Akiko sent a sticker of a tigress face-planted on the ground with her spirit leaving her.

*Your ass may be dumb, but at least it has stripes now."

True. Things feel a lot less fucked now that I've got fur and herm parts.

 Did anyone ask you to do a tour and a tea ceremony? Ramda threw the biodegradable sushi container in the compost bin.

Of course not. You know me, I can't keep my damn mouth shut.

Especially when there's stuff to suck on. Ramda grimaced. Sorry, this probably isn't the best time for jokes.

 No, it's fine. I wish...RRrhhh! Are you free later this afternoon?

Was about to ask you the same thing because all my plans are canceled. If I show up at other social engagements after missing the funeral and reception, it'll be like being seen out and about while playing hooky. So, yeah, I'm free as long as it's nothing too public.

That works for me. After I get back from all this extended family shit, I'm not going to want to leave my den. I think I'll be back and settled in by %%%fifteen-hundred. Akiko sent.

Sounds perfect, see you at fifteen-hundred.

    *

The hallway to Akiko's apartment was painted in wavy shades of olive green with translucent pink flowers covering all the light sources. Glossy navy blue tiles with flecks of mica covered the floor, making a twinkling, deep sea starscape that reflected the wavy walls and flowery lights. The effect was serene and gorgeous.

Even though it had been over eight hours since Ramda had taken a hit from a bong, a little dizziness still had hold of her. She knew the shot of gin she'd had before she left her hotel room deserved part of the blame, though. As Ramda got up to Akiko's pressed bamboo door, a muffled electric guitar being played with high distortion was clearly audible.

Knowing that Akiko was unlikely to hear her knock, Ramda sent a message. I'm outside your door, listening to you shred.

The squealing from the electric guitar halted. Sorry! Be right there, girl.

Ramda had been feeling her punk rock outfit when she was getting dressed to meet Akiko. Now, however, even though she'd rolled around with Akiko in bed a few times, it seemed like a mistake. There was nothing wrong with the outfit itself. The black leather jacket with weathered brown accents and blue gray shirt with big block letters spelling out "SHOW ME YOUR MEAT" went amazing with her jeans, which looked like they had been mauled by a bear. This was the sort of thing she'd wear on a date, not on the day of Chiyo's funeral.

Akiko opened the door. She was panting and sweating, dressed in a green tank top with "Crazy Cat Lady" written in frilly white text and a pair of pink booty shorts that barely fit over the massive bulge between her legs. Ramda was paralyzed by seeing Akiko's new curvy tigress body in person, her jaw hanging partially open as her heart thudded in her chest.

"Hey, I missed you." Looking into Ramda's eyes, Akiko smiled warmly and then pulled her into a hug. "You came to the right place. You look as wrecked as me." Chocolate was smeared on the corner of Akiko's feline muzzle and her breath smelled like sake.

"I'm such a mess. I was crying on the train here. I'm gonna miss Chiyo. And Hattie, who's decided to move on now that Chiyo's passed. That, combined with the letter I got from Ichi this morning, has me feeling like I'm going to implode." Ramda sniffed Akiko's neck and her tail wagged as she melted into the hug. Akiko's scent was an intoxicating mix of white chocolate, fine cigars, dashi, and lemon curd. "Well, I felt like I was going to implode before I met you as your true self just now. I was plenty attracted to you before, but you're a fucking bombshell now. Holy hell, dear." Her right hand moved down Akiko's back toward Akiko's curvy derriere.

"Well, I wanted to at least try and look as hot as the herm goddess who inspired me." Akiko tilted her hips, pressing their bulges together while groping Ramda's ass. Her balls were at least half again the size of Ramda's. Massive in a way that was making Ramda's heart beat even faster.

With a happy groan, Ramda groped Akiko right back, pressing her ample, uppermost set of tits against Akiko's even larger pair. Being touched by her felt incredible, like they were completing a circuit. Both of them gasped as their sheaths got stiff.

"Let's get our asses inside before we end up putting on a show in the hallway." Akiko let go and stepped back through the doorway, pulling on the hem of Ramda's jacket. "You need a bulge in your face, a stiff drink, some chocolate, and to tell me all your problems."

As Ramda was pulled inside, she chuckled. "I knew I'd come to the right place."

END OF CHAPTER

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(Ebook) (All) (Ch. 1) (Ch. 2) (Ch. 3) (Ch. 4) (Ch. 5) (Ch. 6) (Ch. 7) (Ch. 8) (Ch. 9) (Ch.10) (Ch.11) (Ch.12) (Ch.13) (Ch.14) (Ch.15) (-----) (Ch.17) (Ramda Dakimakura)