Guardian Angel Chapter 14 (Patreon)

Ana's back! And good news to everyone who enjoys this story: I've entered a bit of a writing frenzy lately, and am currently on Chapter 19! 

I've also got half of chapter 3 of Starmind written, so there will probably be some more of that coming in the future. I'm trying to find a good rhythm now where I can hopefully do 2 chapters + editing of Draka per week, as well as 1 or 2 chapters + editing of Guardian Angel and 1/2 to 1 chapter of something else, probably Starmind, in that order of priority.

Time. It always comes down to time, doesn't it? I almost wish I didn't like my day job so much.

On to the show!

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“You think I’d be good at Death magic?” Ana asked Touanne. She felt… offended, perhaps? She wasn’t sure. But some people assumed that just because she didn’t experience or express emotions the way most people did, she was somehow dangerous.

Well, perhaps she was, in a way. But only to those who deserved it. It was much easier for her to hurt others than it was for most people, after all. But just because she didn’t feel bad about hurting people didn’t mean that she wanted to.

Was that what Touanne thought? Was this another in a line of potential and nascent friendships that would fizzle out because Touanne thought that Ana was dangerous, or, in the words of one particularly judgmental girl, ‘an unfeeling fucking monster’?

“Ana?” Touanne said. “Ana? Where did you go just now?”

“Hmm?” Ana said, blinking and looking at Touanne.

“You asked me if I thought that you’d be good at Death magic, but I don’t think that you really heard my answer.”

“Oh. Which was?”

“That no, I don’t think that you’d necessarily be good at the Craft of Death, although if you wanted to learn it might be easier on you, mentally. Most of those who have a strong aptitude for Death are not only lacking in empathy, but actively malicious. They enjoy hurting others, or dominating them, or both. And I have not really had an opportunity to see that in you, either way.”

“Oh. I suppose that you don’t exactly like the, uh, Craft of Death, or those who use it.”

“The Craft of Death deals in stripping away the mana of a creature, either to simply kill it or to use that mana for some purpose. It is a Craft that cannot be practised without causing suffering. It is the antithesis of everything I believe in and strive for, so, yes, you’re right. I do not particularly like it.”

Anyone else might have said that with acid in their voice. Touanne’s tone was soft, and accompanied by a sad smile. “But I can’t hate those who use it. They start out cold and selfish, perhaps, usually because of sad circumstances. And then they begin to practise the only Craft they have an aptitude in, often out of desperation, and then it twists them. While they are certainly responsible for what they do, they are victims of fate and circumstance, and they deserve our pity.”

“So how do you know them?”

“From trying to help them, what else? There are some of them who realise what they are becoming before it is too late, and who reject that path for something better. But it scars the body and the soul, in a way, and so some of them seek out Healers to ask for our help. And as long as they do not practise the Craft, they can be helped. Some have even become strong practitioners of the Craft of Life themselves.”

“Does that make them more empathetic?” Ana asked. She didn’t feel hopeful, exactly. She was quite satisfied with herself, and didn’t feel like there was anything wrong with her. But she was curious.

“I’m afraid not. Not those who felt no empathy at all to begin with, anyway. Those who are unable to truly empathise with others can’t seem to practise Life at all. I’m sorry if that disappoints you, but… well, I don’t think that it does.”

“No, not really,” Ana confirmed. “Though I find the idea of being, I don’t know, locked out of something a little annoying. Being able to heal myself or others sounds like it might have been useful.”

“Oh, you wouldn’t be locked out, as such. Learning to use a Craft that you lack an aptitude for is certainly possible, but most people find it very difficult, to the point where they give up before they get anywhere. Your strength in a Craft depends on your understanding of it, and without the innate understanding that comes with an aptitude… well, not many Delvers have that kind of patience. If you wish to learn any magic at all, I would start with a Craft that you have an aptitude for, to learn the basics and pick up some skills. Maybe then.”

Ana thought about it. Magic. Magic was real and she would have a good base for it simply because of her Class. If she was going to buy in completely here, how could she not try, at the very least?

“If I want to learn,” Ana said slowly, “where do I start? How exactly do I find out if I have an aptitude for something? Can you help me? Could Kaira?”

“If you want to test for Life despite everything, I am willing to try. But we can only help you test for our respective Crafts, I’m afraid. You need to find someone who’s skilled in the Craft you want to try, and I suggest you begin with Earth. Now, if you can wait for a while I know someone who I’m sure would help you, but she left with her Party yesterday and will be away for a week, at least, and I want to talk to her before I give you any false hope. But if you’re eager to get started you shouldn’t have any trouble finding someone. You can ask at Administration and they’ll help you, or you can simply put up a note on the board or ask in the common room at the guard house. This is a low level splinter. Most people here are or were recently low level, or are here because they want to help new Delvers.” Touanne smiled. “It’s a helpful place.”

“I’ll wait for your friend, I guess. But I still want to try Life, if you have the time.”

“I can make the time, sure. Just give me, oh… fifteen minutes, or so, to finish this fractionation.”

“Of course, yeah. Is there anything I can do to help?”

“Not really. Although I’d be happy to tell you what I’m doing as I work.”

It all went well above Ana’s head. She knew the basics of chemistry: acids and bases, how different things dissolved better or worse in different solvents, stuff like that. But what Touanne was doing was as much magic as chemistry, relying on Touanne’s Abilities using mana to do things that Ana was pretty sure would be impossible without it. But even if she didn’t understand it, it was not at all a waste of time. Ana learned not only some things that were possible with alchemy, but also something new: When skills hit certain levels, you gained abilities. Touanne’s Alchemy skill was above 10, and she had two Alchemy abilities thanks to that: Mana Infusion, which let her increase the efficacy of her potions, and Mana Distillation, which let her isolate substances that would otherwise be impossible to separate without some extremely advanced modern chemistry, if at all. Considering that Ana had two skills at 4, Intimidate and Unarmed Combat, she wondered if she should try to train them to see what she got.

Of course, neither of those skills were likely to be very useful when she went out with Kaira and her group, so she should probably work on whatever Tor and Kaira had planned for her. There would be plenty of time to beat people up or scare the crap out of them later.

“There we are,” Touanne said as she wiped her hands with a rag soaked in something that smelled vaguely like gasoline. She had produced ten very small jars of salve, which was supposed to counter ‘necrotic damage’, which sounded horrible, and five small vials of general purpose antidote. “Let’s go in the front room and sit down. You will need to be comfortable and focused for this.”

As they got seated across from each other at the narrow table in the front room Touanne lit a small bowl of incense, then put her hands, palms up, on the table.

“Now, Ana, I want you to take my hands and I want you to clear your mind. I am going to channel a small amount of mana, shaped with the intent to heal, at you, but not into you. You understand the difference? Good. All I want you to do is to try and hold that mana. You don’t even need to do anything with it. Just hold it, and if you can do that, then we can move on to actually shaping or directing it. If you can’t, don’t feel bad. It doesn’t mean that the Craft of Life is impossible for you, only that you do not have a strong enough aptitude to do it on your first try. You have never worked with mana before, correct? So you lack even the most basic skills. Most people need several attempts before they succeed. Alright?”

“Alright.”

“Good. Then close your eyes, empty your mind, and let’s begin.”

At first there was nothing. All Ana felt was Touanne’s hands, soft and warm, under her own. She’d dabbled in meditation and tried some of the techniques she’d learned for clearing her mind, finally falling back on the one that had often helped her sleep: simply telling herself ‘Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think.’ over and over and over until it became a mantra, the only thought in her head. Well, almost the only thought. Trying to feel anything in her hands naturally led to a running mental monologue, but it was much fainter than what was usually there, so job half, if not well, done.

Then, as her mind calmed, there was a warmth, very different from the actual warmth between their hands. It was similar, but not quite the same to when Touanne had healed her, and she was grateful in a different way that Touanne had healed her blisters, since she now had something to compare directly with. And with the warmth came the faintest pressure, as though slightly warm air were streaming into her palm and pouring between her fingers. But try as she might, she couldn’t hold it. She couldn’t stop it from escaping between her fingers, or right through her palm for that matter. She tried focusing, and visualising, and even literally cupping her hands and squeezing her fingers together, but nothing worked. Every time she thought she had it it would slip away from her.

When she finally gave up with a disappointed sigh and opened her eyes, she found Touanne smiling at her, not the kind, consoling smile she’d expected but one of genuine delight.

“You felt it, didn’t you?” Touanne asked.

“But I couldn’t hold it,” Ana said.

“That you could feel it at all is a cause for celebration, Ana! Like I told you, I never expected you to succeed unless you had an aptitude, much less on your first try. This is wonderful!”

“In that case, can we try again?”

“I’d love to, but weren’t you meeting Tor after noon?”

“Yes, but…” Ana looked at the table. The incense was cold, long since burned out, and she suddenly felt how stiff she was. “How long did that take?”

“I’m not sure,” Touanne said. “You were so focused that I didn’t want to disturb you. But I’d say it’s a quarter of an hour to noon, or so.”

“You let me sit there for hours?” Ana was more incredulous than angry. Getting angry at Touanne was perhaps not impossible, but it was hard to imagine her doing something so malicious, selfish or egregiously thoughtless that it would outweigh the feeling of good that practically radiated off the woman. If Touanne did something, Ana’s gut told her, it was because she genuinely believed it to be the most helpful thing she could do. And Touanne had given Ana her entire morning, putting aside the alchemical work she doubtless needed to do.

Sure, there was probably a healthy dose of personal curiosity involved, with Touanne wanting to see what Ana could do given time, but still.

So, Ana settled on gratitude. “Thank you for your help,” she said, “and your time. I’m sure that I’ll be back with more questions, but I’ve learned a lot today.”

“You’re very welcome. And thank you for trusting me with your secret, Ana. It’s… incredibly interesting, frankly, and I’m very excited to see what will become of you. Please, any help you need, let me know and I will try to make time.”

“You can count on it.” Ana was about to rise, then remembered her other errands with Touanne. She took the book out of her makeshift bag and put it on the table.

“Neither Tor nor Kaira could make sense of this. I got it from the Summoner who attacked me when I first came here, and Kaira thinks it’s about summoning magic or something like that, but none of us can read it. If I leave it with you, could you take a look at it, see if you have any more luck?”

“I’m sure that I could find some time for a mystery,” Touanne said. She touched it, tensing just a bit before she did, but relaxed again. “With such a wicked background, you’d almost expect it to be bound in human skin, or something like that. But happily, no.”

She opened the book and flipped some pages. “Ah. Well, I can’t read the text, but it does look vaguely familiar. And I’m sure that I’ve seen the runes in the diagrams before. With some reference materials I might be able to get somewhere, though I can’t promise anything.”

“Trying is more than enough. Since none of us could understand it we won’t be any worse off. If we can’t get anywhere I suppose I can try to sell it to the Guild, or something, or just give it to them for good will.” Ana stood. “I was meaning to ask you about those reagents you were interested in, but I can come back. We’re going out the day after tomorrow, so there should be time.”

“I would appreciate that, thank you!” Touanne said, then gave Ana a wry look. “Perhaps you’ll be back after some more of Tor’s training?”

Ana grimaced, remembering the blisters and looking at the new, small calluses that now graced her palms. “Yeah, I wouldn’t be surprised,” she said. “He takes training seriously, and he takes magical healing into account. There was no mercy for blistered hands yesterday.”

“I’m sure that he means well. He just wants you to be as prepared as you can possibly be when you go out.”

“Oh, I don’t doubt it. It’s just strange to not need to tape and wrap my hands for the next couple of days. What you did to my hands yesterday was extremely effective.”

Touanne beamed. “I’m very glad that you think so, Ana. Now, I really do think that you should get going, if you want to be on time.”

“Yeah,” Ana said, then turned around at the door. “Thanks again, Touanne. And I’ll see you soon, I guess.”

Again, Ana wasn’t hungry. The portion sizes at Petra’s were honestly ridiculous, and Ana had stuffed herself to near bursting. She still passed through the square, looking at the tall, uneven obsidian obelisk in the centre and the people, more than the day before, passing through and stopping at the various stands, or just waiting around, presumably for friends or party members. With the level of activity it felt a little like the centre of a much larger place, a city of a few thousand, perhaps, and she could only assume that this was how most people got their lunch. It kind of made sense. Pretty much everybody was either a ‘delver’, as they called them, or worked to support those delvers in some way. The delver half of the population would spend much of their time outside the walls and many of them lived at inns that, if Petra’s was anything to go by, didn’t offer midday meals. And Kaira hadn’t had anything that looked like a kitchen, so she probably ate out for all of her meals anyway. Petra’s certainly had a lot more people coming for breakfast and dinner than could possibly be living at the inn.

When she actually had money to spend she should start looking around at what was available, she decided. The food at Petra’s was plentiful, tasty enough, and filling, but it was also pretty much the same thing every day. Ana liked routine, but she did not like monotony if she could avoid it.

Ana entered the guard house practice yard from the street. There was one man there practising archery who waved a vaguely friendly greeting to her and went back to what he was doing, but otherwise there was no one there. Not one to waste time standing around, Ana stepped into the armoury and looked around. She picked up a practice sword, gave it a fee swings, then tried one which was a little different, more like the one she had back at the inn. There were a few shields as well, in different styles and sizes. She tried a few on for size but didn’t find anything she liked until, on a whim, she tried picking up a smaller shield with a central handle in her right, with the sword in her left. Then it just kind of clicked. Since she only had one day of practice with the sword it wasn’t a big thing to switch hands, and she liked how much more flexible she felt with the shield in her left. It remained to be seen how effective it would actually be, but she had a good feeling about the setup.

Ana spent a little while in the yard practising the basic forms that Tor had shown her, only now with her left hand and trying to think about how to incorporate the shield. She assumed that she was doing some straight up ridiculous things, but that was to be expected with literally no training and no experience in using a shield.

Her assumption was justified by a voice calling out, “You need to keep the shield up!”

She stopped and looked around, and the man she’d been sharing the yard with was holding his bow by his side, watching her. She was more than a little annoyed. This was just one more in a long line of guys offering unsolicited advice, but with a significant difference. This time there was a good chance that he actually knew a lot more than her about the subject at hand, and she would need to use these skills very soon.

“How do you mean?” she asked, walking over to him. He was a little guy, half a head shorter even than her and with a slight build, and for a moment she wondered if he was some kind of near-human. But no. His label said Human Skirmisher, 19. He was just built on a smaller scale than most, the way Omda was built on a larger one.

That 19 in his label also meant that he probably knew at least something about using a sword and shield, if only from observation.

“Your shield is all over the place when you strike,” he said, “but mostly you drop it down and to the right. Not always, but most of the time. That leaves you open to a counter, and most of the critters you’ll be fighting out there aren’t going to do down in one strike. You need to focus on keeping your shield up.”

“But I was keeping it up,” Ana said. “Or at least I thought I was.”

“Hold it up for me,” the Skirmisher said. “Get in a ready stance, facing me. I’ll show you what I mean.”

“Alright.” Ana got into a mirrored version of one of the ready stances Tor had shown her, left foot forward and sword high, and added the shield between herself and the guy.

“That’s… decent,” he said. “Now, strike at me. And don’t worry, I can take some bashing around.”

The guy was unarmed and inviting Ana to attack him. She wasn’t dumb enough to think that she had a chance of hitting him, but she tried anyway. She was about halfway when he stepped inside her guard and poked her in the breast bone, right past her shield.

“That’s what I mean,” he said as Ana took a step back. “You move the shield too much when you strike, and you’re not thinking about it. You’re focused on your strike. Here,” he grabbed the rim of her shield and moved it so that it was between them, “you can easily move it to block any attack against your centre. This is where you hold it when you attack.” Again he grabbed the shield and, despite her resistance, effortlessly moved it back, only a few inches. “Here it is useless, unless you have very good skills and reflexes. It also makes it very hard to use it offensively, which I assume that you’ll want to do since you picked a centre-punch shield.”

Ana considered the shield. She moved it to the centre line, then back to where the guy had showed her that she’d been holding it. It was less than one shield’s width, but when she thought about it she could see the difference.

“Could you show me?” she asked, holding the shield out to him.

“Sure,” he said, taking it, “but you were here training with Kaira and Tor yesterday, right? I don’t want to step on any toes if Tor is teaching you.”

“You know them?”

“Not personally, but Tor’s folks are important here, and he makes himself likeable when he’s on rotation. And Kaira… I’ve been out with her. She’s memorable.”

“Out? Like delving?”

“Yeah. We were both between groups for a while. She’s effective, I’ll give her that.” The guy smiled. “Not entirely sure how she’s still alive, though. Never saw an offensive mage who loved to get stuck in like her. Fun during downtime, too, but she can get a bit much. Comes with the Craft, I guess.”

“Right. How about the shield?”

“Oh, yeah! So, first off, I prefer shield forward…”

The guy quickly showed her a couple of different stances, and how to position the shield while moving and attacking so that he didn’t open himself up. It was really more of a demonstration than a tutorial, though, since she was waiting for her new friends and he wanted to go back to practising.

“That’d about cover the basics,” he said after a few minutes. “Then there’s a lot of details depending on your choice of weapon and all, but Tor’s a competent young guy as far as I know. I’m sure he’ll steer you right.” He looked over her shoulder. “And speaking of, here he is, with his party in tow. I’ll leave you to it. Good meeting you, and hope that you get some use out of what I showed you.”

“Yeah, sure that I will,” Ana said, and extended her hand. “I’m Anastasia. Thanks.”

“Brosden,” the guy said, clasping her wrist. “Happy to help.” Then he gave a wave to the approaching party. Tor waved back cheerfully, Omda awkwardly, and Kaira, at the back…

Kaira was blushing.