Good Bimbo, Best Doggo (Patreon)

Hey, listen..
Go on.
Sit bimbo, sit.
Good girl. Relax.
Breathe deep.
It feels good to listen doesn’t it?
It feels good to obey, right?
Of course it does.

Who’s a good bimbo?
Who’s a good bimbo?
That’s right, it’s you.
You’re a good bimbo.
Yes you are. Yes you are.
Good girl.

Listen. I have this theory that the line between a sweet adorable bimbo and a cuddly loyal pet is about as thin as a sheet of bible paper and if you’ve ever held one of those, you probably know that shit will tear apart just by looking at it the wrong way.

So I thought to myself I thought; "I’ve been going about this whole bimbo training thing the wrong way. You’re so cuddly, cute and adorable, why am I treating you like a person?" Silly me! You see… a good bimbo is the best doggo.

Sit, bimbo, sit.
Good dog.

A good bimbo is loyal to her owner.
A good bimbo obeys her owner.

Good dog.

A good dog is loyal to her owner.
A good dog obeys her owner.

Good bimbo.

A good bimbo doesn’t think.
A good bimbo listens.

Good Dog.

A good dog doesn’t think.
A good dog listens.

Good bimbo.

Listen. You probably feel so confused right now, I totally get it. I’m sending all sorts of mixed signals to that silly little brain of yours. Are you a person or a puppy? Does it really even matter anymore? You just want to listen, don’t you?

Who’s a good girl? That’s right sweetie.
You’re a good girl.
Listen. Sit, girl. Relax. Breathe deep and obey.

A good bimbo does as she is told.
A good bimbo is well trained.

Good dog.

A good dog does as she is told.
A good dog is well trained.

Good bimbo.

A good bimbo adores her owner.
A good bimbo is so easily excited.

Good dog.

A good dog adores her owner.
A good dog is so easily excited.

Good bimbo.

What is a giggle really? It’s just like barking for bimbos if you think about it. Not you you really think about too much of anything. That’s why everyone loves you. They don’t expect thoughts. They expect giggles and barks. You’re such a good girl. That’s what people expect from you. Good bimbos make the best doggos.

Sweet and loyal.

An obedient bimbo.

Cuddly and cute.

The best doggo.

Good bimbo.

Good dog.

Good bimbo.

Good dog.

Listen and obey your owner.

Relax and let go.

Sit, girl. Sit.

This is where you belong.