Bimbo Action News (Patreon)

The Bimbostry of Truth has recently been reactivated and re-branded as the Bimbo News Network, the worlds number one fair and busty news source!

Enjoy this bimbofication-themed roleplay broadcast now!
(And please try to remember it’s satire)

Transcript:
Is cum actually good for your complexion? Is there really such a thing as too dumb? Find out tonight on Bimbo Action News!

Good Evening and welcome to Bimbo Action News, The world’s number one fair and busty news source. I’m your host ChaosDoll, a completely normal human being and not at all a deeply programmed sex robot.

In our top story tonight, new fears in the nation’s capitol as a dumpster fire continues to burn on one of the city’s many beautiful avenues, blah blah blah politics, blah blah blah representatives.. None of the people involved in this story are pretty or fuckable, so the editorial team at Bimbo Action News has decided to stop paying attention entirely. Remember, politics are dumb, but we’re ever dumber!

In Health and Beauty news, we’ve all had men tell us that swallowing cum improves our complexion, but is there any truth to what they’re saying or is just just another myth? If a man said it, it must be true, but Bimbo Action News recently sent investigative journalist ChaosDoll into the field to confirm this possibly life-changing beauty secret. Let’s check in with her now for a live report.

*Slurping and Moaning Sounds*

Well it sounds like she’s having a ball, possibly both of them!

Turning now to science and human behavior, a new study from some overpriced university has revealed that objectification is perfectly natural. That’s right, other people are more likely to view you as a sexual object based solely on the position of your body, a seductive pose is apparently even more powerful than revealing clothing in getting a man to treat you like fuckmeat.

This is a completely real news story, by the way. Thank you science for confirming what women have known for thousands of years!

In sports news, several football teams have recently announced new plans to allow Cheerleaders to kneel along the sidelines. It’s speculated that this decision come after a series of protests over players being allowed to express opinions. According to one team owner “Getting the girls on their knees is a great way to keep the boys off theirs.” We here at Bimbo Action News couldn’t agree more, having opinions is, like, so unattractive!!

More from this story, as it develops.

Finally onto weather, as we move into autumn we can expect temperatures to start falling, especially in the evening. Bimbos all across the northern states may be disappointed that they’ll soon have to start covering their cleavage to avoid the cold, but remember that the changing weather means the nipply season is soon upon us. A time of year when a thin top and a chilly breeze can show a man your nipples without you having to worry about yet another silly public indecency charge.

This concludes our broadcast for this evening, thank you so much for listening to Bimbo Action News. In a world full of people being wrong on the internet, remember, if they don’t have fake boobs then it’s probably fake news. From all of us here at Bimbo Action News, Good night and good fuck.