Patreon Letter: 6th August, 2018 (Patreon)

Jackson here with this week’s patreon letter and welcome, welcome, welcome everyone: to the month of hell. The month of hell is: two Game Clubs, a book for SOS, a 13 episode anime for a bonus episode, in addition to the regular patreon podcast load. Also I have two deadlines for the rest of my schoolwork. I still haven’t finished my dissertation! The point is, I’m busy, but we’re currently on track. This week I submitted one of my school assignments so that’s it, I only have one more academic assignment to do ever and I am done. Then I had to edit Voip Life and watch 15 episodes of anime in two days, which did not leave much space for the patreon letter. But, a little delayed, it has finally arrived. And I have a treat for you.

I wrote Gundam fanfiction.

So okay this was meant to be a very short scene written in a couple of hours but it ended up taking me three days just to write like 600 words so, y’know, sorry about that. Also I think it sucks now but I don't have anything else for the letter so this is what you're getting. I hope everyone enjoys my extremely indulgent Gundam Fanfic.

This has spoilers through Zeta Gundam so heads up.  

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Contrary to popular belief, Kai Shiden was not a man who did things lightly. He had spent the last few days cooped up in a small Russian hotel, where not coincidentally a group of Federation officials were staying in the room directly below his. With the Titans obviously no longer a going concern, but the next victor not yet decided, there was a small power vacuum where these officials were free to jockey for control over resources, money, what-have-you and secure their personal position in whatever power structure came next. This particular group were stealing and hoarding medical supplies, and Kai was going to catch them in the act. So whatever it was that caused him - the night before they made their move - to catch a one-way flight out of the country, it must have been important.

When he landed, he got a car from the airport and he tipped his driver well. Standing on the side of the road, he unfurled the paper he had in his pocket and made sure this was the right place. A small cafe in an even smaller town, wooden seats behind musty windows.

Kai walked in and surveyed the place. A waitress stood at one of the tables, and judging by the fact there was nobody behind the bar she was the only one working in the place. There was an old man by the window, a young couple at the front, but sitting against the wall at the back was the man he was looking for. He shoved the paper back into his blazer pocket and walked over, casually starting up the conversation before he had even sat down.  “So what’s this message you have for me, then?”

Hayato didn’t look up. He set his coffee down and ran his hands through his hair. Only then did he turn to look at his friend. “We won,” he said.

“What?” Kai said, scooting further forward on his chair. “What do you mean you won - like that’s it? No more Titans?”

Hayato nodded.

Kai let out a big sigh. He knew the Titans were done for at this point, but he’d never really considered that it could actually be over. He wasn’t a soldier anymore, and though he had certainly helped aid Karaba, it shocked him how little this ultimately affected him. His world would spin on. It didn’t feel like anything had really changed.

He was about to bring this up, but he stopped himself. Hayato still hadn’t said anything else, let alone explain why he’d requested Kai drop everything and fly across the world to see him. Maybe this wasn’t the best time to talk about himself. “So is that all? If you wanted to celebrate with me, there’s better places to drink.”

Hayato let out a breath that was half-way between a sigh and a laugh. 

“Look, what do you--”

“I need a favour,” Hayato said at last, taking an envelope from his jacket. “Take this back to Karaba for me.” Kai shot him a confused glance so he added, “it’s not secret, you can take a look.”

Opening the envelope, Kai took out two sheets of paper. When he was done reading, he looked back at his friend with his eyes wide and his mouth open. “Are you… Hayato, you built Karaba. You’re just gonna go back home and leave it all to Amuro?”

“He’s a hero. And he’s my friend. They’ll follow him.”

“I really don’t think--”

“Katz is dead.” Kai stopped right there. He just watched helpless as his friend started to break right in front of him. “He wanted so badly to fight. So I let him.”

It only took a few seconds of Hayato crying for Kai to realise that this was the first time he’d really let it out. He hadn’t told Amuro. He’d probably went straight home to Fraw Bow and his kids, but he’d never let them see him so weak. Not when they were hurting too. He’d be there for them, just like he was always there for Karaba, a brick wall who never cracked because who else was there if he had? Amuro was off swimming. Kai was probably off at the Vatican or somewhere.

“I’m sorry,” Kai said. And he meant it.

Hayato regained some of his composure, sitting upright in his chair. “Well anyway. I know you saw what happened at Dakar, and given the contents of your letter I assume you no longer have any objections to lending a hand. Amuro’s going to need it.”

“Hey hey,” Kai said, beginning to protest, “I have a job.”

“I don’t care,” Hayato said, and Kai fell truly silent for the first time in years. “It’s your turn. It’s both of your turns.”

Kai held his breath for at least twenty seconds. He was always the one who used to get bitter on the White Base. Amuro the hero, the newtype, the secret weapon, and all the expendable people who supported him. He hated it so much that he ran, and ran until he was as far from the battlefield as possible. He would never be a soldier again. He never knew, he never even considered that Hayato felt that too. Except while he was running, Hayato had stayed and continued to fight. Not with some new mobile suit, and not with his amazing newtype powers, but with time and effort and a thousand invisible sacrifices. 

“I can’t get in touch with the Argama anymore,” Hayato said, exhausted and resigned, stirring Kai out of it. “The Titans might be finished but there’s god knows how many Axis ships still out there, and nobody left but us.” 

Kai just stared back at his friend. He knew what this all meant, and he didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know if there was anything he could say that wouldn’t make it worse. He watched as Hayato stood up and placed a few bills down on the table.

“Burn the envelope or something,” Hayato said, shoving his hands in his pockets and walking past Kai, leaving him alone at the back of the cafe.

-

There you go! All done. Maybe you'll get more fanfic nonsense in the future, it's never really been My Thing but I should let myself be more indulgent with my fandom so I'd definitely like to fuck about with it some more.

See you all in a couple weeks

-Jackson