Tails Vs. The Fly (Patreon)

“Phew~! Almost done.” Tails wiped his forehead clear of the sweat on his brow and set his wrench down, feeling like an accomplished expert today. He had reason to be proud of his exploits often but today felt special for some reason. It seems like there’s often an unexplained light in the pit of your stomach that heats up at random on certain days where you’re feeling more out going and proud of the things you’ve done, regardless of the varying circumstances surrounding all the nonsense happening in the world.

Dealing with Eggman was always a tough challenge, regardless of how easy Sonic was determined to make it look but he had managed to keep up with both the exploits of his big bro and his worst enemy by subtly improving the confines of his aircraft.

Today, however, he had finally put the finishing touches on the Tornado MK IV. It looked blue still. The design was mostly the same. However, the interior design was what really was going to get this puppy soaring. Tails had even called Sonic over today so that he’d get a nice eyeful of what he was going to be riding on from here on in. It’d blow his socks off.

Tails stretched, standing in just a plain white shirt and a pair of jeans shorts, clothes that he didn’t mind getting dirty, before he grabbed a towel to wipe the access oil off his gloves. “Just gotta methodically finish this tiny part and attach it to the plane and everything should be a go.”

When setting the towel down, Tails pulled up a seat and plopped his fat butt down onto it, sticking his tongue out as he grabbed a screw driver and started to pry into the small device before him. He needed to be as careful as possible in order to make sure everything worked in perfect ord--

BZZZZZ~!

Tails winced.

Okay, that was annoying but whatever. There was a fly in his lab. No big deal.

Tails tried again.

BZZZZZZ~!

The buzzing only got louder. Tails’ ears twitched. It was as if this little guy was trying to capture his attention. Was it making a play at being Lassie? Well, little Timmy was going to have to wait down that well because he had to finish this.

BZZZZZZZZZ~!

Tails’ left eye twitched. He looked to the right and spotted nothing. Of course he didn’t. Flies always buzzed around and made it impossible for you to catch them with your sight in a manner that stayed consistent. It was no wonder they were notoriously hard to swat.

UGH! What was he doing? He was thinking so much about the fly when all his concentration needed to be on the dangerous small device on the table! Come on now!

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZ~!

“AGH! Darn it!” Tails snapped. This time the buzzing was right by his ear. It made him shiver. His screwdriver brushed the edge of the device in a manner he hadn’t intended as a result and when Tails realized this, he attempted to drop the metal lightning rod in his hand but found it a split second too late.

ZZZZZRRRRK!

That was the sound of a hard shock of electricity coursing through him! Tails’ eyes crossed and his teeth clenched when this happened. He tried to uncurl his fist to drop the screwdriver but found he couldn’t until the voltage ended. Once it did, he yelped and flopped off his seat, plopping onto his back with his legs sticking up and a plume of smoke rising from his body.

After a few seconds, the fox slapped his hand on the table and struggled to stand up properly. Once he was hunched over the table, he coughed out a small puff of smoke and then, for the first time, laid his eyes on the fly that buzzed by him.

His entire body felt warm and numb but for some reason the thing he was the most focused on was this insect. It was embarrassing that such a tiny thing had caused him to lose concentration. He needed to be more disciplined. It was just a tiny fly after a--

BZZZZZ~!

“YEEP!” Tails yelped and slapped his ear, hard. His eyes rattled and he stumbled before accidentally resting his hand on the small, open device again. “N-NOAAHAHAGAHAAAH!”

Tails got electrocuted again and promptly fell on his back. His body jolted a few more times and the random spasms made it hard to properly trust himself to stand properly again. However, the warmth he felt was especially more concentrated around his crotch this time.

The fox sat up and rubbed his head, eyes rolling a bit before they widened with shock. He scrambled to his feet and pulled his shirt up to look down and examine what had happened.

His shorts were dripping out of the open holes at the bottom and there was an extensive wet patch that covered their entire front. He had just wet himself!

Tails stood there, sweat forming on his forehead, stunned with his mouth shut. He just kept looking down and trying to contemplate the fact that he’d just peed his shorts and ruined his underwear… because a fly buzzed by his ear.

That realization finally caused him to blush.

The fox lowered his shirt and, with a pout, was more determined to spot this intruder. This wasn’t something he could let slide. Even if it was a tiny, mindless creature, he wasn’t going to let it get away with that.

“Where did you… go…?” Tails asked, stepping about the room and scanning it with his eyes.

BZZZZZZ~!

“THERE!” Tails turned when he heard it waft by his ear, but he caught nothing. That was until the fly landed harmlessly onto his nose.

The fox crossed his eyes to properly stare at it before reaching over to grab a piece of paper on his desk. He slowly rolled it up and then carefully raised his arm… before slapping it against his own face!

He stumbled a little and then slipped on the wet spot that came from a few access droplets of his own bladder failure. “EEP! GAH!” Tails tried to steady himself, not having expected this but then managed to remain standing when he, rather violently, collided with his huge shelf of spare parts.

Tails breathed a sigh of relief. “Dangit. It’s just a fly! It’s a dumb, tiny little insect and it’s making me look stupid. I’m a genius for Pete’s sake!” He snapped, not noticing that the intense wobbling and shaking of the shelf had pushed it forward a bit.

Tails steadied himself but failed to steady the shelf in the process and the shift in weight caused something from the top shelf to slide off and crash down like a meteor onto the fox boy’s head.

It was a huge engine.

SLAM!

Tails’ body scrunched downward a bit before popping back up. The engine slid off his head and landed behind him.

Tails himself stood there, momentarily confused and his mouth in a bit of an “O” shape before his eyes slowly crossed and his mouth formed a dumb, derpy smile. A large bump appeared on the top of his head and he began to sway about.

“Whooo weee~! I feel wike dancin’ all of a sudden! Lalalaaaaa~!” Tails spun around and swished his tail back and forth, pretending to do a nice booty shake for the imaginary audience that was there.

It wasn’t until the entire shelf fell over and crushed him that he stopped.

A few minutes went by but eventually, the loud buzzing of the fly spurred Tails back to life. The fox crawled out from under the shelf, several gaps in his teeth and a black eye now plastered on his face, before looking up and seeing the small creature plop onto his nose again.

Tails’ face was the picture perfect representation of what happens when a dormant volcano finally erupts. Smoke blew from his ears and his crossed eyes read “DEATH” on each pupil. He was going to murder this fly and take great pleasure in methodically ripping it’s wings to shreds.

Tails angrily raised his fist this time and attempted to punch at it, but it flew away leaving him to smash his own nose.

“OWW!” Tails whined and grabbed at his throbbing face, tearing up slightly before angrily trailing the fly with his eyes again. The fox grunted and finally pulled himself from under the shelf, though it caused him to rip entirely out of his shorts.

The fox stood there in his lab with his shirt in tatters and his Care Bears underoos soaked yellow. He looked like a barbarian.

Tails grabbed a wrench and smirked evilly. “Okay then…! HOW ABOUT THIS!”

The fox began rushing about the room and slammed his wrench down at the fly wherever it landed. Due to being blinded by rage, he seldom watched where he was swinging it. He caused a pipe to burst. He caused one of his devices to spark. He even made a spout erupt with water.

That last bit was huge mistake because he immediately slipped on the resulting deluge and slammed onto his bottom again, sliding across the floor until his crotch slammed hard into one of the legs of the table!

Tails’ face froze in the most goofy pained expression he’d ever mustered. The old Tom and Jerry shorts would have delighted at the insanely silly face he was making here with his eyes bulging, spinning, and tongue flopping out with access drool.

He scooted back and then immediately grabbed himself before letting out a high pitched wail. He even kicked his legs about like a baby as he laid there in the diaper change position.

“Darn it! Where’s that fly!” Tails looked around.

Wait a minute… where was his wrench?

Tails got his answer when it slammed down hard onto his head, making him jolt and then flop onto his back, spread eagle and seeing stars circle around his head once more.

Tails laid there for about five or so minutes before he sat up, rubbing his head, and watched the stars and planets dance around his skull while his eyes kept rolling in their sockets. “Jimmy cracked corn and I don’t care~! Tails cracked his brain and I go pee pee~!” He sang a song that didn’t rhyme in the slightest.

Eventually, he shook away the galaxy in his field of vision and grunted in anger before making yet another stand.

Tails, now with a crazed and insane look on his face, began laughing like a lunatic. He took out a firecracker and lit it before approaching the fly as it rested on what, at the time, looked like a bunch of random cylinders.

“YoU wAnNa tEst MeeeEEee? HUNGH?! W-WeLl daAts fInE! I’m GoNnA sHoW yOu WhAt HaPpeEns wHeN y-yOU m-MeSs wiTh a GEN-I-US! I’M A SMARTY SMART BOY! HAHAHAHAHA!” He said this with shaky, warbling speech patterns and drool pouring out his mouth.

The fact that being unable to swat a fly had caused him to go a little insane might not be something he’d be stable enough at the moment to accept should it be told back to him.

Still, he raised the firecracker and tossed it down at where the fly currently sat. Because he didn’t swing it directly at the thing, it didn’t move. Tails laughed like a maniac and waited… but then his eyes got super big when he saw where he threw it.

Those cylinders weren’t random. They were prototype missiles for the new Tornado! He frantically dived at them and banged his nose against it, causing the fly to drift off. However, Tails didn’t care. He had to make sure that the fuse didn’t strike the bottom of the open casing of the missiles otherwise...!

The fox gasped when he lifted one of them up and saw the fuse of the firecracker hit the open circuitry of the bomb in his hands. The entire thing began to spark with electricity and shake violently.

With a whimper, Tails set it back down and gave an army salute.

BOOOOOM!

Half of Tails’ workshop was blown a way and the fox screamed as he took off, sky high, disappearing into a twinkle amongst the clouds like Team Rocket.

--

As this happened, the opening ceremony for a baseball game was about to start. Unfortunately, something else was going to grab their attention and it came in the form of a wild animal rocketing down smack dab into the center of the field and crash landing like a meteor.

“Oh my! Folks, it would seem we have a bit of an interruption on our hands!” The announcer began addressing the stadium of people. Even the cameraman broadcasting this on TV zoomed in to get a closer look.

“Oh wow… it would seem a naked fox has crash landed in the middle of the field! How unorthodox to have a streaker this early in the game too.”

Yup, there in the middle of the field, with his big naked butt raised up, arms at his sides, mouth with crooked teeth, eyes spilling with tears as his pupils rolling around in their sockets, and tongue flopped out onto the sand, was the nude and unconscious Miles Tails Prower.

The genius child of a generation, bested and defeated by a tiny fly.

---

To say that Sonic was surprised when he got to the lab was an understatement. He saw that Tails workshop had been half-way blown to bits and was looking all over for the fox.

Sonic scratches his head, stepping over the ruined machinery as best he could and trying to make sense of the water and smell of piss in the air. He slipped a little and his elbow hit the button of the remote on the still standing table, which turned on the TV in front of him.

It was on Channel 297, the same channel the baseball game scheduled for today was supposed to be playing. Sonic went to turn it off but did a double take and dropped the remote when he saw his naked little bro being plopped onto a stretcher and carted off the field on camera.

“I gotta say Mack, this has got to be THE most embarrassing streaking attempt I’ve ever seen. Imagine being arrested for public indecency because of THAT.” The announcer said.

Sonic sighed.

“Guess I’d better go bail him out.” Sonic muttered. “Sheesh. I hope THAT isn’t what he wanted to show me.”

Sonic was about to leave but then stopped when a fly began buzzing around his face.

Sonic followed it with his eyes for a second before clapping into it once and watched as it’s dead carcass flopped to the floor.

With that, the hedgehog shrugged and zoomed his way out of there, ready to post bail for his indecent little buddy.

---

That was a really fun story to write. The idea of a genius being defeated and humiliated by something as mundane as a house fly really captured my imagination there. Hopefully, I’ll have enough time on my hands to bring this to life in a way that isn’t just some ol’ story but for now, I wanna know what you guys liked the most about it. Please leave a comment and vote in the poll. I love hearing from you all! Thanks a bunch!