A Juvenile Jenga Halloween - The Vampire's Tomb (Patreon)

“How vampires are made isn’t known for certain but some theorize it happens when a manifestation of evil is summoned back from the underworld to possess a corpse. Maybe it could be because they have unfinished business and it warped into something that had to be handled on a world-wide scale… or maybe they’re just weird fictional beasts that exist to scare children when it comes time to binge Halloween flicks.” Ian said as he looked over his phone, sitting on the carpet with Bourbon and Troy around him. 

“Ah man. You didn’t have to finish up with that little tidbit at the end Ian.” Troy said, sitting on the floor dressed up like Frankenstein’s monster. 

“Oh shush,” Ian said, dressed as the great Dr. Frankenstein himself, “Listen to your creator Troy. Vampire lore is goofy. I only read it outloud because you asked where they come from.”

Bourbon scratched his chin. “Don’t vampires come out from tombs and stuff…? Like don’t they grow there? Don’t the mummies have to properly water them so that they bloom properly?”

Troy and Ian looked over at Bourbon and blinked several times in confusion. 

Then Troy spoke up again, “What kind of vampire would you grow if you planted one?”

Bourbon put a finger to his lips and began thinking it over. Eventually, he started messing with his false fangs, a courtesy of his vampire costume. 

Ian eventually stood up and scrolled through his phone before looking outside. It was sufficiently dark out now and tons of kids were out there, skulking about the streets. 

“Ooo~!” Troy got excited and hopped to his feet. “Are we going now?! You don’t need your brother to escort you?”

Ian flinched. “Ew. No. Of course not. He wouldn’t even dream of it.”

As if on cue, Mario shot down the stairs and raced towards the door, wearing a full on skeleton costume with no mask. It looked just like his face was normal while his body had been obliterated by a hyper beam or something.

“HAHAHA! Finally! Now, it’s time I made my mark on the Halloween weenies on this  fine night!” Mario grinned, breaking out his phone and scrolling down the notepad app happily. He also made sure that he had his “Pranked Losers” gallery sufficiently prepared too. “WHOOOO! PRANK NIGHT HYPE!”

He shouted this before swinging the door open and zooming right out, leaving it swinging about with the three kids staring at it in wonderment.

“WHO left the door open?” Chris, almost as if in a puff of smoke, appeared behind the three kids and was already in scolding mode, assuming that the children in front of him were to blame for the door being open. 

Troy immediately narrowed his eyes and swung his head back to look up at his brother, accidentally bashing his skull into his balls. 

“Oh shut up!” Troy snapped. “It’s not even your house so why do you care?”

He was correct. This was Ian’s house and they were just hanging out, doing whatever, until it was time to head out into the black and orange illuminated night for Halloween. Unfortunately, Chris wasn’t one to turn off his older brother mode.

The only way to get that to happen would be if it was shut off for him. Like, for example, someone just bashed their head against his crotch.

Chris made a horrible pained squeal with his cheeks puffed out and his eyes crossed. Troy giggled at the funny face he just made. It was like the fifth funny face he made this week. 

“UGH!” Chris reached down and grabbed Troy by a lock of his hair before bending down. “Proper edicate doesn’t stop once you step out of the house. Now, if you’ll remember, I’m your chaperone so you’d best be on your best behavior.” 

Chris stood proudly in his knight costume. He held out his plastic sword and posed. “Now, let us venture forth! The pursuit of delicious sugary treats awaits us… at least for the whole of the last couple of hours of the night before we have to brush our teeth to shear the evil cavities away.”

Ian leaned over to Troy to whisper, “I have a genius level intellect and your brother is somehow a bigger dork than me.”

“None beat him when it comes to dorkiness.” Troy muttered.

“Already gone.” Bourbon said, waltzing towards the door with a bag in hand.

“GAH! H-HEY!” Chris blushed, hating how his entire speech had just been ignored.

---

Eventually, the group of kids were out on the road for another round of going around to whatever house they could for the best scores of candy imaginable. Some were good stops, some were okay stops, and others were duds. That’s just what you’d naturally expect. Although Troy was particularly fond of the house that gave bags of freshly popped popcorn. It was always the unexpected treats that he was the most fond of.

As the night dragged on though, the air got particularly chilly for Bourbon. The others in the party took it for granted, choosing to continue to march in lockstep with Chris leading the pack with his sword held aloft before them. However, Bourbon eventually began to shake in an unnatural way, letting his eyes dart around as he noticed the streets start to get eerily vacant the more they wandered along. 

Kids that were walking just fine along the sidewalk were walking by open fences and then disappearing in what looked like a thick lime green fog…

“Hey guys…” Bourbon eventually piped up, traveling a bit behind. “Is it me or is there a lot of weird green… smoke in the air. Either ghosts are breathing out ectoplasm fog all over the place or something… else, creepy is happening.”

Troy and Ian looked back at Bourbon, a bit confused while Chris stuck his nose up at him with his hands by his sides.

“Are you just getting frightened because there are less kids around this area?” Chris raised a brow before looking down the road where there were a ton more kids gathered about. “There. We’ll go that way. It’s better lit too…”

“If you’re scared, you can hold my hand.” Troy offered as he spoke to the now sweaty Bourbon.

Ian rubbed his chin a bit. “... He IS right though. This is a very unusual amount of green fog. I don’t know how a fog machine could have this level of extension or be this persistent. Unless every one of these houses bought the same one and are all using them at the same time I don’t see how this is possible…”

The thoughts of the kids were interrupted when they heard a yelp from the road down the way. Immediately, Bourbon shivered and found himself bolting ahead.

“H-Hey! Don’t run ahead of me!” Chris shouted.

Bourbon didn’t listen. He was determined to find out what the source of that shout was. When he reached the crowded street he was greeted with his answer and it wasn’t a very good one in his opinion.

“AAAUGH!” A little blonde boy blushed and whined as he sat on the ground in his tighty whities, covering himself. “Y-YOU… JERK!” 

“Why did you do that huh?!” Another kid, with brunette hair snapped at the much taller boy in the skeleton costume before them.

“AHAHAHAHA!” Mario, the prankster in question, laughed as he put a new picture in his gallery. “THAT was even more successful than I thought! The way your costume flew off when I caught it in that fishing pole.” Mario held his gut and laughed at the boy.

Bourbon skidded to a stop and then pouted, wondering what he was so worried about.

“Hey!” Chris came up behind him with his hands on his knees, Ian and Troy trailing a bit behind him. “Don’t just rush off like that! What’s the matter with you?!”

Bourbon turned to look behind him, past Troy and Ian, and down the road they just came from… 

The green mist was fluttering about and now the streets were completely vacant in that direction. No one was there anymore.

“Are you listening to me?” Chris asked.

“Shut up!” Troy snapped, shoving a stick into Chris’ butt. 

“HYDEEE-HOOOO~!” Chris shouted, eyes crossing and lips pucking in pain yet again. When he regained his composure and started chasing the laughing Troy around the scene, Bourbon’s eyes were glued to the vacant street behind them. Ian was also looking back, admittedly finding it odd how empty the area was too.

They both then jumped when they heard a voice coming their way and the sound of a bicycle speeding in their direction.

“HEEEEEEEEEEYYYYY~!” Came the voice of Juneberry as she panted and peddled her bike through the green mist and stopped right before Bourbon. With a grunt and a look of almost sheer terror, she looked down at the taken aback boy and got all up in his face. “QUICK! THERE’S NO TIME! I NEED YOU TO PUT THIS TEDDY BACK ONTO IT’S ALTAR!” 

With that, she shoved a raggedy, dusty, freaky looking Teddy Bear into Bourbon’s arms. 

The teddy’s eyeballs were old buttons that seemed to barely be attached to their original stitching. The sooty black color it had looked caked on, as though it were originally a different color but years of festering in a hovel had made it deteriorate to this point. Why on Earth did Juneberry have such a thing… and why was she giving it to Bourbon?

“I’m sorry… what?” Bourbon asked. “What altar?”

Juneberry rubbed her temples, “Uh… o-okay. L-Let me explain--!”

“Before that, can you tell us what happened to all the kids that were down that road.” Ian interrupted her and pointed ahead. “Why are they all gone?”

“They’re gone for now but they’ll be back. When they show up, RUN and don’t slow down for anyone. Not until that bear goes back where it belongs!” Juneberry snapped, shaking her fists about. Chris had stopped by this point and was face planted onto the sidewalk with Troy sitting on his back, playing with his older brother’s butt by spanking it like a pair of bongos when they both turned to look at the hysterical high school girl. Everyone was now.

Sensing their uneasy expressions, Juneberry drew in a breath, sweat pouring down her face. “I… th-there’s no time… uh… okay, quick summary! Some IDIOT removed that teddy bear from the altar in the tomb of Bottleneck the Bloodsucker! Now his curse has befallen the neighborhood and if we don’t put it BACK we’re all going to turn into Cuckoo Happy Vampires!”

They all stared at her for a bit, not sure what to make of that.

“Cuckoo…?”

“...Happy…?”

“... Vampires?”

Three different kids repeated this at the same time.

“Ugh! Whatever!” The boy already in his underwear snapped suddenly and tried to charge at Mario. “Just give ME my clothes back!”

Mario laughed and ducked out of the way, watching as the poor boy tumbled into the bush beside them. With a grunt he sat there and rubbed his head… before shrieking at the figure that emerged from the bush in front of him.

“Jimmy? GEEZ! Don’t scare me like that! You almost gave me a heart att-AAACK!” The boy was in the midst of complaining when the young lad he was speaking to suddenly lurched at him and bit down hard onto his neck!

All the kids in this spot watched in terror as this happened. The undie clad boy gasped, pupils shaking and then shrinking before a huge blush went onto his face. He was getting rather heated. The blood was rushing throughout his system really fast since it was being sucked!

Eventually, young Jimmy removed his fangs from the neck of the tighty whitie loser and watched him sway back and forth in dizziness.

“OooOOoOooooohhhh…!” The boy’s eyes began to cross before turning blood red. 

His brain then derped.

“HEHE! I wanna suck yer blood! Derpy blah blah!” He said, drooling with little dead chirping birdies spinning around his head. His skin had gotten pale and he stood up with his hands out, giggling and looking really dumb and loopy… but despite that his physical transformation made the kids all super scared and they all ran off screaming with their arms in the air.

Now there were two Cuckoo Happy Vampires approaching them from the front.

“OH NO!” Ian gasped. “W-We gotta go!”

“Run!” Juneberry shouted, pointing down the street where the other kids left. “Cuckoo Happy Vampires function by making you vulnerable first. It could be a punch to the face, or a painful wedgie, or a kick to the balls… ANYTHING! Once they’ve gotten you temporarily loopy, they’ll suck your blood and turn you into one of them. But that’s not all! They’ll--!”

“Blah!” Mario waved his hands about. “That’s dumb! I don’t care how much this kid acts like he’s all vamp’d out. He’s still a loser!”

The undie clad boy approached Mario as he taunted him.

“I’ll let him hit me. Go ahead. See if your new vampire powers have given you super strength!” Mario said, flexing out his chest.

The undie clad boy reached into the pants of Mario’s skeleton costume… then hoisted his elmo briefs up into a powerful, painful, frontal wedgie that crushed Mario’s balls with the strength only a vampire could have!

“YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!” Mario’s eyes crossed and he felt dizzy and weird. The pain even started to make him wet himself a bit. That wasn’t the end of it though. His momentary lapse in brain function gave the opportunity the vampire in front of him needed. It lurched forward and bit down on Mario’s neck, sucking on it and making Mario gurgle and blurt out weird dumb things like “CHEESE IS MY FAVORITE COLOR!” and “WHEN ARE THE CRAYONS GONNA MILK MY SPOONS DADDY!”

“MARIO! NOOOOO!” Ian screamed, tears in his eyes as he watched this happen to his older brother. He tried to run forward but Juneberry grabbed him by the shoulder.

“No! It’s too late!” She snapped.

Mario’s eyes spun in their sockets and before long he saw the dead cuckoo birdies spinning around his head and eventually, with his tongue out, his spinning pupils turned red too!

Mario then slumped forward a bit, drooling, and then felt his heated body lurch a bit more before he tore off the rest of his costume.

“TOO HOT! NEED AIR! DERPY BLAH BLAH!” Mario said, now standing in his damp Elmo briefs!

“W-what the--?!” Ian winced, confused. “Wh-Why did he strip?”

As if only to emphasis the stripping that happened, down the vacant street that they had just walked from came a horde of the kids that had disappeared. All of them had crossed red eyes and their tongues either sticking out or their mouths hanging open as drool poured out of them. They were all derped and seeing little dead cuckoo birdies while muttering stuff that made no sense.

“MY BUTT IS MADE OF JELLO!”

“I SMELL PURPLE TODAY!”

“IS FINLAND IN THE TOILET OR THE REFRIGERATOR THIS WEEK?!”

These derpy vampire kids were all clad in their underwear too. They stomped through the green mist towards Bourbon and the others with their hands out. Some wore tighty whities. Some wore underoos. Some wore boxers. Some wore boxer-briefs. The girls were all wearing panties. The toddlers wore pull-ups. No matter who they were though, they were all transformed and closing in on the group.

“Th-They’re all… in their underwear?!” Ian asked, hands to his cheeks, puffing them out slightly. “WHY?!”

“The transformation process from the blood being sucked through their body so rapidly heats their bodies up so they react on the instinct of trying to get cool again by stripping their clothes or costumes off.” Juneberry explained. “Ugh! I keep warning the idiots in this neighborhood never to disturb Bottleneck’s tomb but they NEVER listen! They usually get creeped out and run away or fall for the traps set up just outside of it but one brat managed to actually steal the thing!”

Now, Mario turned to face them and slowly sauntered towards them, vampire fangs in his mouth now.

“COME MERE WITTLE BROTHER! I JUST WANNA GIVE YOU A KISS! THEN WE CAN PLAY TENNIS WITH A CARTON OF MILK AGAIN! YOUR FAVORITE GAME!” Mario giggled, what he had to say being half menacing and half nonsense.

“AH… AAAAAAH!” Ian turned and ran. “NOOOOOO!”

“Run! NOW! I’LL hold them off!” Juneberry said to the remaining boys.

Bourbon was momentarily frozen but shook his head and nodded, face a bit pale from the fear he was feeling. Troy was shaking all over, face just as pale as Bourbon’s.

“O-Okay… th-thank you Juneberry!” Troy turned and began running with Bourbon… before stopping when he realized Chris wasn’t with him. “CHRIS?!”

He turned back and saw Chris just sitting there on the ground as the vampires hissed and approached him. 

“HE WOOKS TASTY!”

“I BET HIS BLOOD IS FILLED WITH SKITTLES!”

Chris’ eyes began to spiral and then, after peeing his pants, he began to foam at the mouth as he watched the kids before him lick their fangs, grow inky black wings of dark energy on their backs and fly to nab him…

...However, Troy grabbed his brother by the collar and dragged him off.

“CHRIS! GET UP! STOP PEEING YOURSELF AND RUN!”

“V-Vampires…? VAMPIRES! AAAAAAAH!” Chris snapped out of it suddenly, springing to his feet and running ahead of them, forgetting his role as the chaperone and completely overtaken by his fear. He even left his plastic sword behind.

“We’re headed for the graveyard then?” Bourbon said, holding the teddy bear close and looking back.

“BACK! BACK I SAY!” Juneberry shouted, waving Chris’ discarded plastic sword about. “I SWEAR...THIS THING’S LOADED! AAAUGH!” She shouted in pain as Mario did a boxing jab at her back to disorient her. Then she was jumped by all the cuckoo undie clad vampires around her, submerged in their evil derpiness. She let out a scream before being swallowed by them all.

“YEEEEEP!” Bourbon, now teary eyed, increased his pace. “Wh-Where IS the graveyard?!”

The kids that ran ahead had disappeared more or less too. That wasn’t a good sign. 

Bourbon, Troy, and Chris ran through the green mist before happening upon the kids they lost sight of… and they were all screaming in terror as they had been ambushed by vampires approaching from the opposite side they were on. They had been boxed in and they didn’t even know it at the time.

Some kids received dizzying wedgies before their necks were bitten. Others were humiliated when they were pantsed before they were bitten. Others got punched in the face and spun around before gurgling “CUCKOO!” like idiots before they got bitten. It was madness! Even worse, the green mist was getting thicker. They could barely see through this mess!

“THAT WAY!” Chris pointed to the path that led to the graveyard and the tomb. It wasn’t too far off now. He saw a ton of kids rushing in that direction, seeing as how it was their only salvation. All the suburban houses were being raided by underwear clad vampire boys and girls. 

“Alright! Let’s g-OOOF!” Bourbon gasped when he was rammed into and fell onto his face.

The silver haired boy who knocked him down by accident skidded to a stop, teary eyed and panicking but also reluctant to just allow that rude collision to fester without a proper apology.

“I-I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to knock you down!” The boy stammered before another one called out to him.

“Hey Gabe! Why did you stop running?!” Another boy with blue hair and a Dark Pit costume on approached before stopping and panting.

“S-Sorry Arryn…!” Gabe winced, adjusting his Tinkerbell costume. He wanted to go as Captain Hook but his dad got him Tinkerbell instead when they ran out, mistaking it for a Peter Pan outfit. His dad recognized the mistake but figured that since Tinkerbell and Peter both wore green, no one would notice.

Gabe got laughed at with every house he visited… than the kid next to him bit the neck of the boy who was laughing at him. He ran off to seek comfort from Arryn, a kid he knew, who then told him to run alongside him.

Now they were stopping because Gabe wanted to be polite? Unbelievable!

“KEEP GOING!” Arryn said. “I already lost Manzo back there! They’re catching up!” Arryn panicked, waving his hands about.

As if on cue, a loud bunch of screeches happened as more vampire kids hovered across the ground, using their black energy wings and started to attack the kids that had managed to make it to the graveyard entrance. Everyone was headed here because they were all being boxed into this location. This was the last place they wanted to go but what choice did they have.

Gabe helped Bourbon stand up and sighed. “Thanks! We need to hurry and get to Bloodsucker the whatever’s tomb so I can return his cursed teddy bear!”

Arryn and Gabe blinked… and then bolted for the graveyard.

“Okay sure! Good luck with that!” Arryn shouted.

“Wait!” Bourbon gasped and rushed after them. Troy and Ian followed with Chris sucking his thumb with spirals in his eyes, stumbling behind them now due to being disoriented because of his fear.

Once they all entered the graveyard together, Bourbon caught up to Gabe and grabbed his arm. “We need to work together!”

“A-Are you crazy? W-We’ll get transformed too!” Gabe panicked, dancing in place and trying hard not to let his bladder fail him.

“J-Just listen to me!” Bourbon said, rushing ahead as he began to explain the situation.

Arryn looked over, momentarily confused by this before he lurched forward at being bumped into by something. “YEEEEEEEK!” He screamed, tears going to his eyes… before he opened them and saw Chris hugging his body close.

Arryn flushed red, shaking with embarrassment. 

“*U-Uh… Uhm… I…. I-I-I-I… h-hey l-let go!” Arryn said, trying to put on a brave face.

“I-I’m sowwy! I’m scared! Hold me!” Chris said, blubbering and sniffling with snot dripping from his nose and eyes waterfalling with tears.

Arryn bit his lip while looking around. The mist was starting to flood into the creepy graveyard and the screams of the increasing pile of victims was only getting bigger. They were dropping like flies all around them until eventually things grew silent.

That meant all the vampires had gotten their targets… except for THEM. If they split up now, they’d be worse off for sure!

Arryn gulped and wrapped his arms around Chris. “S-Sure. I-I will… b-b-but not because I’m scared, got it?”

“OH!” Gabe gasped. “S-S-So THAT’S what’s going on?!” He said, voice still shaking as Bourbon finished his explanation.

“Yes! So, please help us out. I promise I’ll personally change your diapers when this is all over.” Bourbon bowed.

Gabe blushed. “What the-?! What are you talking about? I don’t wear diapers!”

“Oh? Sorry. Y-You smell like pee…” Bourbon said.

Gabe winced, blushing harder. Okay, so maybe his underwear was a bit damp from the fear but so what?! It was VAMPIRES!

“What are you doing Ian?” Troy asked, peering over Ian’s shoulder as the group walked together.

Ian sniffed a bit, trying to not think about his brother at the moment, before focusing onto his phone. “I remodified my phone to have several more convenient functions for myself a while back. At the moment, I’m using the app I installed that detects the heat signature of the people around in a radius equal to the size of our neighborhood. Using this, we should be able to tell how many of the people around us have been transformed into vampires and how many of us are normal.”

Troy didn’t quite get the specifics of that but understood the main point Ian was making. “Cool. Let’s see what it says.”

Ian activated the device… and then slowly his face went paler and paler. “I… uh… th-th-this says… that… there’s only six people left… already!”

“Only six?!” Troy gasped before looking over their group. Gabe and Bourbon were side by side and Chris and Arryn were hugging. “... WE’RE six people…”

Ian gulped. “Y-Yup… if we get caught… that’s it. Everyone is doomed!”

Troy wiped the sweat from his forehead before leering ahead. He squinted his eyes and saw a large clearing up ahead with what looked like a huge rundown house. “Is… is the tomb INSIDE that big house?”

“Yes.” Ian grumbled.

Troy sensed Ian’s displeasure and then stomped forward a bit. “Hey! Don’t worry Ian! You’re smart and we’re resilient. The fact that we’re the only ones left is proof of that! If we stick together and keep a look out we’ll… AH! CHRIS! BEHIND YOU!” Troy stopped and shouted with a point.

“EH?!” Chris shivered. Both he and Arryn turned to look right as a drooling vampire girl screeched and flew at them. “EEYAAAAAAAH!” They both screamed and scrambled about to rush ahead.

“They found us! Come on! Make a run for it!” Troy shouted, pointing ahead as he rushed forward. “I’m sure if we just keep going we’ll--!”

Then a black blotch zipped by and rammed into Troy, swiping him from the line of sight of everyone else.

“TROY!” Chris, Bourbon, and Ian shouted in unison.

Crashing down between Gabe and Bourbon, Mario and Juneberry appeared to face the two of them, both in their underwear and baring their fangs at their targets.

“Oooo! Lookie lookie! Delicious Bourbon Cake!” Mario said, licking his lips as he approached Bourbon. The boy panicked as he scooted back before grabbing a nearby rock and tossing it into Mario’s head!

BONK!

Mario’s eyes crossed and he straightened out, making a goofy face as Bourbon ducked under his legs and rushed forward. “Come on! RUN!”

Gabe’s eyes were crossing and he was shaking all about.

“What a CUTIE! Let me bake you into a nice BLOOD PIE!” Juneberry giggled, eyes crossed like a derp as she opened her mouth, drooling her vampire acid down at Gabe and making holes in his tinkerbell costume.

Pssssssss~!

Gabe was wetting himself now. He couldn’t move either. All he could do was shake and foam at the mouth just like Chris did earlier.

He was about to be bitten when Bourbon suddenly rushed by and grabbed his arm to keep running.

“Everyone! Straight ahead! We need to persevere.” Ian shouted, tears in his eyes as they darted around, watching the underwear clad vampires emerge from the mist. “I’m not a football player though. How am I supposed to duck between all these guys?”

Arryn and Chris rushed beside Ian, both teary eyed and sucking their lips but keeping close. A little ways behind him were Bourbon, pulling the now crying and wet Gabe. “WAAAAAAH! I’M SORRY DADDY! I’M GONNA BE A VAMPIRE!” Gabe cried.

“Don’t give up! We’re close!” Bourbon shouted, grabbing a bunch of rocks as he ran and tossing them when he saw them get close to Ian’s group. A bunch of the vampires went down with knocked cuckoo looks on their faces when Bourbon’s rocks beamed them in their heads.

Arryn and Chris kept their heads down while Ian bolted for the small, run-down stone building. It looked like a miniature Dracula’s castle, sitting right here in the middle of the graveyard. The broken plague at the front of the building read “Bottleneck” in faded writing. It was a very well made resting place for this supposed vampire boy. 

“Alright. We’ll just go through the entrance and then--!” Ian began before a vampire boy slammed down on a grave marker that was right in front of the rushing kid. “AAH! N-NO!”

“YES!” Troy giggled, licking his lips and showing off his fangs, his pupils now red. He stood up with his fists by his sides in his Scooby Doo underwear and his inky black wings spread. “What was that garbage I was saying about being able to make it if we stuck together? ...Oh yeah. STICK TO ME AND I’LL ENJOY A DELICIOUS SNACK!” Troy drooled, eyes crossing and fangs bared. He began to happily drool his acid slobber all over the ground while Ian scooted back, horrified to see his friend in this transformed state.

“T-Troy! D-Don’t do this! Get out of our way! We… we need to save everyo--!” Ian began.

“BOOOORIIIING!” Troy screamed and then jumped at Ian.

“ACK!” Ian ducked and whirled around the tombstone to try and rush for the door of the old building. Troy’s face bashed against the head of another vampire boy and he flopped to the ground, giggling like a derp with his eyes rolling.

A bit of the way back, Bourbon and Gabe were surrounded.

“Wh-What are we gonna dooooo?!” Gabe whined. 

“Hmm…I got it!” Bourbon said, pressing his hands against Gabe’s wet butt and then pushing him forward. 

“AIEEEEEEEE!” Gabe screamed as he bowled through the other vampires and left them in the dust. They tried to jump them but ended up crashing into each other and flopping onto the ground.

A bit behind them, Arryn was running with Chris in his arms, bridal style.

“We’re almost there! We’re almost… AUGH!” Arryn yelped when his leg was grabbed. He fell onto the ground and clawed at the dirt, tearing up. 

“NOOOO!” Chris screamed before banging his head against a different grave and fell over. He then sat up and laughed like an idiot, a gap in his teeth and his eyes spinning. He then shook his head to clear the dizziness and screamed when he saw Arryn getting dragged under the weight of all the vampires. “ARRYN!”

“GO ON WITHOUT MEEEEEEEEuuughhh!” Arryn gurgled as he was held down and eventually his neck was bitten into. “AAAAAUGHHHH!” 

Chris saw more of them coming and whined before rushing off to where the tomb was. The only way to save him was to succeed in their mission now!

Arryn gurgled and tried to hold on but ended up letting his guard down even more when he saw the face of the vampire sucking his neck.

“M-Manzo…?” Arryn gasped.

Manzo grinned as he kept sucking.

Arryn’s eyes crossed and a derpy grin appeared on his face with his eyes turning blood red as well…!

Over at the entrance to the stone building, Ian was fiddling with the lock and, eventually, found that it wasn’t worth it and tried to bust the door down.

“DARNIT! Why?! My brother is the kind of guy who’s good at this stuff not ME!” Ian winced.

Gabe and Bourbon showed up soon and rammed against the door instinctively, attempting to help. Finally, Chris showed up last and provided one final shove that managed to break the lock off. The door was still jammed though!

“GOTCHA NOW!” Mario laughed as he flew down to try and grab them.

Bourbon, Ian, Gabe, and Chris all ducked in unison which prompted Mario’s eyes to widen.

“Oops.” Mario muttered before his face bashed right into the door, destroying it as his body fell through and his face smashed onto the floor of the building. He slumped there, eyes rolling and undie clad butt sticking up. His inky vampire wings began to slope downward in a goopy mess while he giggled and watched the birdies circling over his head again.

“Come on! We’ve gotta find the tomb!” Ian shouted and rushed forward. “My App for close quarters directions says the altar is in the basement.”

“I can’t believe this is happening!” Bourbon cried, tugging at his head. “I was so close to learning how to properly bob for apples!”

“Wh-What do you mean?” Ian asked. “You stick your head in the water and bite on the apple…”

“... What? Y-You don’t use your butt cheeks?” Bourbon asked.

“............” Ian just stared at the boy.

CRASH!

Vampires were bursting through the stone and wood of the walls and ceiling as well as coming through the now wide open door.

“This tomb better actually be down there.” Chris said, tears streaming down his face. “If it isn’t then it means we’re running into a dead end with all those monsters behind us.”

The four remaining boys made it down the dusty hall and through the next door, thankfully finding it unlocked and opening it before closing it behind them. Bourbon put a chair under the doorknob and then backed away.

Gabe was breathing hard into his candy bag. “I-I’m gonna die! I’m gonna be a vampire! I’m gonna nibble necks and suck blood and run around in my underwear like an improper toddler. Oh no! I’m wetting again! NOOOO!”

Ian and Bourbon began looking around the room, with Ian in particular getting annoyed by Gabe’s constant shrieking. “How’d a guy like that end up as one of the last four survivors?”

“What are we even looking for Ian?” Bourbon asked, taking books off the wall.

“According to the data I looked up about this tomb, the basement can only be reached via a secret passageway. How some kid actually managed to do this to steal that teddy bear I’ve no clue!” Ian whined then stopped. “BUT if this Bottleneck guy was already grave robbed… then that means we need to look for something that was already obstructed. Something with far less dust around it. Something that looks like it was disturbed recently…”

Chris was looking around on the floor before eventually spotting a small area with no dust at all. He stood up and pressed his hands on the wall before the area and knocked on it. “It’s hollow… I think I found our secret passageway!”

“OH!” Ian and Bourbon said at the same time.

“Good! Let’s hurry!” Gabe said, dancing in place.

Then suddenly, several hands burst through the door behind him. “YEEEEEEEK!” Gabe shrieked and jumped out of his costume, landing on his feet down to his wet Beauty and the Beast briefs. “H-Hurry!”

“GABE WAIT!” Arryn’s voice came booming from the other side of the door. “It’s ME! I’M FINE! Please let me go with you!”

“A-Arryn?” Gabe gasped.

Eventually, Ian managed to feel about the hollow wall with Chris and pushed a stone in. The secret passage opened finally when Bourbon gave it one final kick. The door slid to the side and there was a nice spooky stairwell that led to pitch black darkness right before them.

“Hooray!” Bourbon cheered. “I helped!”

Chris sighed and then turned. “C-Come on Gabe… GABE! NOOOO!” 

There, in front of him, he saw Arryn in the room and on his hands and knees, panting.

“Oh Arryn! You survived! Thank goodness!” Gabe said, happy and with teary eyes. He approached the boy… and then was greeted with Arryn looking up at him with crazy crossed eyes and a laugh that showed off his fangs. 

“WHAHAHAHAHA! IDIOT!” Arryn laughed, standing up and ripping his clothes off, almost posing in his Frownasaurus briefs.

“A-ARRYN?! NO! NOOOOOOOO!” Gabe screamed as Arryn tackled him. 

“NO! MOVE IT!” Chris shouted, rushing forward and punching Arryn in the head which made him flop onto his back, eyes rolling. “RUN!”

Gabe nodded and headed for the secret passage entrance… before the door burst down and a ton of vampires entered the place!

“COME ON! HURRY!” Bourbon shouted.

“What’s taking them so long?” Ian called from the stairs as he was already heading down them.

“Keep going down Ian! We’ll catch up!” Bourbon shouted back down.

Chris screamed and cried when he was suddenly surrounded, before his leg was grabbed by Arryn and pulled down.

“Hehehe! Now we can be vampire buds… forever!” Arryn said, smooching Chris on the mouth and making him blush! Chris shook in surprise but flopped to the floor as Arryn enjoyed his lovely little snack…! Chris couldn’t even scream as he was turned into a vampire…!

“AIEEEE! NOOOOOO!” Gabe cried and ran for the secret passage entrance.... before Chris grabbed him by his arms.

Gabe stopped and his pupils shook before he looked behind him and saw both a red-eyed Chris and Arryn baring their fangs at him.

“Where are you going Gabe?! COME JOIN US!” They both shouted before yanking him back into the other room!

“NOOOOOOOOOO! WAAAAAAIEEEEEEEEEEK!” Gabe screamed as he was dragged back into the room and accidentally pressed the button on the wall that closed off his only manner of escape. 

The door shut and Gabe’s muffled screams were all Ian and Bourbon could hear above them.

The stairwell was completely dark save for the light from Ian’s phone. 

“D-Did they?” Ian asked.

Bourbon sauntered down the stairs. “J-Just keep going. The tomb is right down there. I’ve still got the bear so all we gotta do is return it.”

BANG! CRASH! BOOMF!

Ian and Bourbon felt a heavy shiver run down their spines. That sounded like a ton of vampires destroying the entrance to the secret passage. They had to hurry!

Bourbon and Ian rushed down the rest of the stairs and finally made it to the big, open basement. There was no door here which meant that there was a literal pitch black hole in the wall that was going to see a TON of underwear clad, dizzy vampires crawling out of it soon enough.

“H-Hey Ian… c-c-can I confess something?” Bourbon said.

“Y-Yes?” Ian spoke as he walked forward.

“I’ve peed a little in my briefs like five times already.” Bourbon whined, hiccuping a bit.

Ian’s lip quivered. “I did about six times.”

The two of them sniffled, trying to fight the tears threatening to fall as they realized that this room actually had a bit of light in it. The moonlight that shined through the dusty bars of the tomb overlooking the coffin before them made a nighttime white and light blue color illuminate and clash with the pitch blackness all around them.

Right ahead was the altar where the teddy bear was supposed to go.

“Bottleneck’s coffin and his prized teddy bear’s altar. Let’s hurry and put it ba-AAAK!” Ian gasped when the loud thumping reverberated throughout the building. The two boys slowly turned and looked at the black hole behind them… and then shrieked when red-eyed vampire kids started to burst out and rush at them.

“OH! SO CUTE! LET ME AT THAT BEAUTIFUL NECK!” Juneberry shouted.

“LISTEN TO YOUR BIG BROTHER IAN! RIGHT NOW!” Mario drooled.

“FOLLOW THE RULES BOYS! THE RULES SAY YOU MUST SURRENDER!” Chris laughed, hissing at them in just his Sleeping Beauty undies.

“YOU’RE LOOKING LIKE BIGGER BABIES THAN I DID! AHAHAHAHA!” Gabe laughed, looking crazy now and spewing drool acid everywhere.

“GIVE UP AND WE MIGHT GIVE YOU THE COURTESY OF SOME FINAL WORDS!” Arryn giggled, licking his lips.

“WE’RE FRIENDS RIGHT?! SO WHY ARE YOU RUNNING?! COME HANG OUT WITH ME BUDDIES!” Troy bared his fangs, drooling and slobbering as he approached. 

The tidal wave of vampire kids and teens in their underwear were swarming the tomb!

Ian and Bourbon screamed and ran forward, rushing towards the altar and peeing their pants. The wetness made several of the vampires slip and fall but it wasn’t enough to stop all of them, obviously.

Bourbon and Ian stopped in front of the coffin and looked up at the altar. 

“I can’t reach!” Bourbon said, jumping up and down with the teddy in hand. 

Ian groaned. “Well you have to! Let’s give each other a boost!”

“Oh… well in that case, you do it!” Bourbon said, handing Ian the bear.

“WHA--? ME?!” Ian asked.

“Yes! I’m stronger than you so I’LL give YOU a boost! HURRY!” Bourbon said, putting his hands down. Ian hesitated but managed to summon the courage to crawl onto his shoulders and then get lifted. Ian then started to try and climb up higher with the bear, balancing on Bourbon’s shoulders.

“Okay… now just put it there and we’ll-AAAAH!” Bourbon cried when the vampires grabbed his legs and began to tear his pants away. He was down to his Guardians of the Galaxy briefs in no time and eventually he was grabbed all over. “HURRRYYYYYY~! AAAAAAAH!”

Ian gulped and set the bear down onto the altar.

“I-I did it…! I think…!” Ian said.

Nothing happened.

“Oh no… it didn’t work!” Ian looked down. “BOURBON! IT DIDN’T WORK!”

Bourbon grabbed Ian’s leg and then yanked down on it. 

“EEEP!” Ian grabbed the altar and clung for dear life.

“AWW? IT DIDN’T?” Bourbon asked, eyes red with real vampire fangs in his mouth now. “POOR BABY! HOW ABOUT A NICE NECK NIBBLE TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER! HAHAHAHAHAHA!”

“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!” Ian screamed and kicked Bourbon in the face, making him flop onto the pile of vampires around.

Ian was the only one left.

Ian clutched the altar and looked around, wondering what could be missing. He then gasped. “Oh... of course. How could I forget my manners. I humbly apologize for the theft that befell your tomb Mr. Bottleneck! Please forgive us foolish mortals!” Ian said, tears streaming down his face as the vampires grabbed him from all over.

Right before Bourbon was about to bite into his neck, a light shone from the moon that illuminated the bear on the altar. In a large flash, the light burst into an explosive wave of magic energy that wafted all throughout the basement, then the graveyard, then the entire neighborhood and beyond to where all the green mist had managed to float off to.

In a heavy flash, the green mist spun and then spewed into the sky, swirling like a horrific green mass before rocketing towards the graveyard as it was sucked into the teddy bear.

The bear then slumped there on the altar…

Ian fell over and flopped onto the ground, pants gone and clothes torn to shreds. He hiccuped and blubbered, now down to his Iron Man briefs.

He looked around with his head up and panted…

All the kids down here were groaning and rubbing their heads in confusion before screaming and crying in unison with the realization that they were ALL in their underwear.

“What the-? Where am I?”

“Why am I in my undies?”

“YOU wear pull-ups?!”

“NOOO! THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SECRET! WHO DID THIS!”

“Ah! Don’t look! These underoos are embarrassing!”

“My lucky undies! NOOOO!”

Juneberry waltzed through the crowd in her Minnie Mouse panties, eyes rolling as she dragged a boy by his hair.

“What a bunch of babies.” She said before tossing a boy with red-violet hair in front of everyone. “HERE’S the jerk that stole that teddy bear from this tomb!”

On the ground, grinning nervously with sweat on his face, and pressing his fingers together cutely, was Radio, clad in a pair of briefs that had chocolate chip cookie prints on them. 

“Ah… uh… h-hi everyone… s-so uh… I guess that was a challenge that wasn’t worth taking eh?” Radio asked.

All the kids leered down at him, anger radiating off of them.

“S-So uhm… m-mistakes were made… I mean, I was the first to turn into a vampire so really, I’ve been punished the most here. Uh… hey… wh-why is everyone closing in on me! Hey! No wait! I’m sorry! How about I give everyone a single piece of my Halloween candy! GUYS! NO GUYS! OW! OW! OAAAAAAAAAAH! AIAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH~!”

Radio’s screaming echoed throughout the tomb as the kids all took turns beating him to an impressive pulp.

---

Back on the mean streets of the neighborhood, Radio was tied to a post in a soaking wet diaper he was forced into, several anime bumps on his head, several gaps in his teeth, and sporting a black eye. He was being pushed around in a wagon where kids would take turns throwing things at him or getting a nice punch to his face. Suffice to say he wasn’t conscious anymore.

As this happened, everyone remained stuck in their underwear. The time it would take to go home and change wasn’t worth it. As such, this became the first Halloween where the entire neighborhood did it in their underwear.

“Well, all's well that ends well.” Juneberry said, riding beside the other kids on her bike.

“Ohhhh! That was sooooo scary!” Chris, Gabe, and Arryn were hugging and crying in their wet briefs and refusing to let each other go. 

“Ha… th-that didn’t scare me one bit…!” Mario said, shaking and trying to flex. Manzo raised a brow and eyed the huge freshly made pee stain on the front of his briefs. 

“Yup. CLEARLY you weren’t scared.” Manzo said with an eye roll.

Troy sighed. “I felt so weird… I’ve never felt so EVIL before.” Troy said, rubbing his arms down. “It’s kind of chilly out but not super cold either. Kind of brisk.”

“Well that’ll make it more bearable to do the trick or treating tonight in just our underwear.” Ian said, hands behind his head. “Tomorrow we’ll go back to wearing pants and pretend that none of us walked around at night in our undies for certain.”

“I sure hope so…” Bourbon muttered. “Although, that was kind of fun. I wonder if it’d be possible to try that again… but in a way that was less real and less terrifying.” Bourbon said, trying to air out his wet briefs. “Ugh… these are gonna be so itchy by the time we’re done.”

“Don’t worry.” Troy wrapped his arms around his two best buds. “When we’re done we’ll go home and gorge on candy until we pass out!”

“Hopefully we’ll pass out so hard we forget this even happened.” Ian said.

“Welp. Guess we can give it a try. For now though, Merry Halloween-mas to all and to all a goodnight.” Bourbon said with a smile. Ian and Troy raised a brow before snickering and bursting out into a loud roar of laughter.

With that, the moon shined down over the underwear clad town as the scariest Halloween of their young lives sauntered on into the depths of night. 

Now the only thing to fear were the sugar rush hangovers they were certain to have when this was all said and done…

---

Thanks for reading this special Halloween treat. I really enjoyed charting out who would survive the longest and who would succumb first. Hopefully I managed to surprise you all a bit with who I chose to last till the end. Stories like that are always part of the fun after all. 

Let me know which vampire transformation surprised you the most when it happened in the poll below.

See you soon and Happy Halloween!