Anime-Toon Institute Anthology - Chapter 5: The Case of the Derpy Detective and the Cheeky Thief (Patreon)

“Is everything ready Jigen?” A tall man in a blue outfit stood with a smirk as he straightened out his tie.

“As ready as it’ll ever be.” The guy’s partner, another tall man dressed in all black, with a hefty cap and a thick beard, poked his cap up with his revolver as he answered. “Think this’ll be enough?”

“Oh yes. I’m sure it’ll be more than enough. Considering the target is a school, dare I say, things have a chance to get a little educational in the next coming days for us.” The leader said, smirking with a sparkle in his teeth.

He wasn’t just any kind of dude, of course. This man was--!

LUPIN THE 3RD

Species: Anime

World of Origin: Lupin the 3rd

--

Everyone in the trophy room of the school were standing in amazement while admiring all the astonishing prizes won by the title fights of old. There was a special event happening today where the various tournaments of the past were being celebrated by having the various students of the school enter the area and be given an exclusive tour and history lesson about the impressive victories the school has had throughout the years.

Midoriya and his friends were all dressed up, taking snapshots of the cool things being put up on display for the event. These were exclusive things that weren’t normally in the trophy room, such as prize winning boxing gloves and the shorts of the losers that were grabbed by one of the more famous winners. 

“Oh wow.” Inkling Boy gasped with excitement. “Astro Boy’s collection of trunks and speedos he took from the losers! Oh cool! This one still has a huge wet stain on the front of it. Probably from when his opponent wet themselves in fear of him.”

Mega Man winced. “I don’t know if that’s something I’d want to take a picture of…”

Ray Ray shook his head and wagged his finger at the robotic hero, “For shame. These are prized possessions of a fellow student of old. One who won his fights a ton of times. Have more respect.”

Mega Man sighed. “I’d rather focus more on the other stuff he had. Like… something that wasn’t a collection of shorts with pee stains on them.”

Midoriya looked around before smiling at the bright red curtain covering the pedestal in the middle of the room.

“That’s it! The thing they’re covering with that red cloak, it’s gotta be Astro’s Championship Wrestling Belt!” Midoriya gasped, eyes turning to stars as he delighted in seeing it.

“Oh? Now that sounds like something I’d want to see.” Mega Man smiled and turned to face it. Lucky for them, Mokuba Kaiba was about ready to show it off to everyone.

“Get ready to take a huge gander at this; Anime Toon Institute’s prettiest and grandest prized possession!” Mokuba smirked, grabbing the tassel that kept the curtain lowered on the pedestal that had the belt covering it. He looked around and giggled at all the camera flashes that were already going off around him. He was hoping they were getting his good side. This event was being opened to a lot of important figures, ones he needed to impress.

“Oh boy.” Inkling Boy smiled, straightening out his tie. “I’d better look my best for this.”

“Your pants are gone.” Ray Ray said.

“Eh?” Inkling Boy looked down and saw that, despite still wearing his dress-shirt and tie, he was standing in blueberry themed briefs. “EEEEEHHHHH?!” He blushed and began to immediately sweat through the embarrassment.

“Here it is! The grandest prize of them all!” Mokuba smiled and tugged on the tassel, revealing to everyone… an empty pedestal.

His eyes were wide as dinner plates and a nervous smile was on his sweat covered brow. The camera flashes that were going off around him were suddenly his biggest nightmare.

“I… what…? WHERE?!” Mokuba screamed, zipping about the pedestal for his biggest draw for the night. It was really gone! Mokuba began to panic and started biting his nails. “No! NO! Seto’s gonna destroy me if he finds out I screwed this event up! I’m in charge of the school! How could I let this happen…?!”

“No need to fret.” A voice came from in front of Mokuba. The scared rich boy snarled and lowered his brow at the boy who spoke up. 

“No need to fret? Uhm, are you crazy?” Mokuba asked, staring at the approaching figure. “Do you know the severity of this situation? Who do you think you are exactly?”

The boy stood with his hands in his pockets and looked up with a gleam in his glasses. 

“Conan Edogawa. I’m a detective.” He said with a small smile.

CONAN EDOGAWA

Species: Anime

World of Origin: Detective Conan

Mokuba leered down at Conan, as did all the cameramen. 

Mokuba’s anger only soared.

“You? A detective? Don’t make me laugh!” Mokuba snapped at Conan.

Conan got an annoyed pout on his face, now leering at Mokuba with contempt. “Step aside okay? I’ll prove it to you.”

He stood up and began to examine the pedestal with a magnifying glass he plucked from behind his back. “Aha… just as I suspected… there are white flakes left over from the cheap plaster from the roof. Whoever did this must have come in from above and considering how sloppy the execution of this theft is thanks to the remaining shavings of plaster, it would seem that they didn’t have time to clean up… that could either mean they did it just before everyone entered this hall and had to escape fast… or more likely, it was done just now and they’re going to try and use the confusion to escape.” Conan said with a smirk.

Bingo.

In the crowd, Lupin was a bit impressed. He couldn’t help but think to himself that this was a little surreal. Who would expect a child to suddenly wander up to the podium and rattle off what the most likely scenario was. Least of all, who would expect him to be so spot on? 

Conan grinned as he walked forward, hands in his pockets. “I have a feeling that our culprit is still in the room with us....and most likely, he’s someone who reeks of excess baggage.”

No one pulled the rug from under Conan Edogawa. He was never caught with his pants down and certainly never got smacked in the face with a truth he couldn’t see prevailing.

He was probably the world’s greatest detective and he carried himself like it. For sure. These onlookers were about to get a taste of his metel. 

Right now.

Conan stopped in front of a woman in a long dress, who happened to be carrying a suitcase.

“Excuse me miss… might you be the culprit?” Conan asked, looking up at her.

The ‘woman’ smiled before facing Conan. “Oh… what a sweet little boy… I’m afraid I’m going to have to decline this interrogation session.”

With that, the woman lifted her skirt up and two flash bombs fell out of her dress, right before Conan.

Conan’s eyes widened as he looked down at them. He then shouted to the crowd. “TURN AWAY! THEY’RE-!

That’s when the bombs went off and a bright light seared into Conan’s eyes. It happened so fast that he wasn’t able to heed his own warning!

“AAAAAH! MY EYES!” Conan screamed and doubled back. He was flailing about a bit before he stumbled into the empty pedestal and fell on his butt. “OWwww…” he rubbed his head before looking up and realizing that the stone pedestal had been knocked unstable. It started to tilt to the left… then to the right… then it fell right on top of Conan’s downed body, squishing him with a SPLAT!

“GWAUGH!” Conan’s body flinched and stiffened out with his arms and legs sticking up as the pillar crushed him. His eyes turned into anime swirls as he drooled on the floor…

--

Outside the area, the woman ran down the hall, having escaped from the trophy room before setting her stuff down and sighing. “Now THAT was unexpected…” She sighed and wiped the sweat from her head.

She was about to exit through the next door when a sleep dart whizzed past her head and stuck in the wall beside her, scaring her a bit.

She turned her head and spotted Conan!

He was up… though his outfit had a few holes in it and his hair was a little frazzled. However, he had his wrist-watch pointed at her with a little compass pointed up that had sleep darts ready to fire.

“Stop right there. You think you can get away from me?” Conan said, staring at her. “No more Mr. Nice Detective, lady.”

The woman turned to face Conan and smirked. “Lady? Oh no. You’ve got the wrong idea.”

Suddenly, she grabbed the hem of her dress and tore it away, revealing the well dressed man underneath. 

“My name… is Lupin the 3rd. It’s great to meet you, Detective!” Lupin smiled, twirling the large case in his hand that, no doubt, held the prized championship belt.

Conan stood where he was. “I’m Detective Conan… Conan Edogawa…” He said, disdain dripping from his voice. “You’re not going anywhere with that. You try to move and I promise, this next dart won’t miss.”

“Oh? So the first one MISSED and wasn’t just a warning shot then?” Lupin chuckled. “Well, I have no worries then.” He then pointed a revolver at Conan. “Try me. We’ll see who’s weapon is faster.”

Conan sweatdropped. He didn’t expect him to have a gun. 

“... Hmm… y-you’re not really gonna shoot me for that belt are you?” Conan asked.

“Scared?” Lupin asked.

“I am not.” Conan said, remaining in the stalemate. He’d faced down gun men before. It never really ever got any less scary but his composure was something he had gotten a lot better at bluffing over.  “...But I wonder if you’d risk letting a shot ring out and your position being uncovered?”

Lupin raised a brow. “Oh dear… you got me. You’re as dirty as the cheap carpet we’re standing on, kid.”

Conan smiled. “Well, I don’t mind playing mind games when it comes to-” 

Lupin smirked and stepped onto the carpet, shuffling his feet across it before dragging against it roughly! When he did this, he made Conan slip off his feet, effectively making him lose his footing!

“WHA? WHAT THE-?!” Conan yelped, falling backwards.

Lupin smiled and rushed right at the tumbling boy. 

Now Conan’s composure was disrupted!

“NO! STAY BA-UGH!” Conan bashed his head onto the floor and yelped in pain. He then rolled around on the floor before Lupin pointed the gun at his face! “WH… WHAT?”

“Sorry Kiddo but I don’t horse around. You’re smart but… not smart enough to handle me.” 

Conan’s eyes got huge.

Lupin smiled and pulled the trigger.

“EEEEK!” Conan yelped.

A shot rang out!

POP!

Conan’s eyes rolled up and he went stiff as a board, falling onto his back with his eyes rolled up and drool ebbing out the side of his mouth…

… Meanwhile, Lupin’s gun had flowers and confetti sticking out of it. 

The gun was a bluff.

“Heheh. Works every time.” Lupin smiled and happily pranced right by Conan.

Conan, meanwhile, twitched on the floor, having fainted from thinking he was about to get his face blown away.

A whizzing sound was heard as his shorts started to get soaked with pee…

--

“Man… getting out of here is proving tougher than I thought…” Lupin said, trudging down the hall.

Right behind him, hiding around the corner, was Conan Edogawa… only this time, he was red in the face and his shorts were soaked with pee due to his wetting accident earlier.

“You’re not getting away. Not from me.” Conan muttered, angry and bitter. He tugged at his wet shorts and snarled. “I can’t believe this. Wetting my shorts like an actual baby. He’s gonna pay extra hard for this!”

Conan turned his head and saw that Lupin had stopped when he came across a dead end. “Ah geez…” He scratched his head. “I guess I should have taken Jigen up on his offer about the escape route. How was I supposed to know this school was a maze!”

Conan smirked and stood tall. He pressed a button on his shoes that made them spark with intense power. He then pressed another button on his belt that made a soccer ball come out of it.

“Take… THIS!” Conan smirked and did a massive power kick at the soccer ball that sent it rocketing down the hall.

It was aimed right for Lupin. When it hit, he’d probably bash his head into the wall and knock himself out even harder than it already would!

Lupin wasn’t looking. This was it!

Just then, a door off to the side opened!

“Lupin! There you are!” Jigen snapped, holding the door open and… in the path of the soccer ball!

Conan’s eyes widened. “Eh…?”

The ball smacked against the door and bounced right back at Conan, spinning like a bowling ball going at mach 10.

Conan felt his shorts get a bit more wet as the soccer ball smashed him hard against the face and sent his body spiraling back like a cotton doll, flopping in the wind!

“Oh. Hey Jigan.” Lupin turned to face his partner in crime. “Can you not be so loud? I’m still trying to get away with this thing as best I can, you know.”

JIGEN

Species: Anime

World of Origin: Lupin the 3rd

“Me? Loud? All I did was open the door.” Jigan snapped. “Did you just fire off a rocket or something? Why did the room just shake?” He asked, seemingly unaware of the fact that the sound he heard was of Conan’s thunderous soccer ball bouncing off the door he just opened.

“Beats me. Who cares? Let’s hurry and go. Can you show me the way out?” Lupin asked.

“Sheesh, you’re hopeless… alright follow me.” Jigan said, ushering Lupin into the room he just left and closing the door behind him.

As they left, down the hall, having been blown back by his own attack, Conan laid out flat on the hard tile floor.

His clothes had been blown clean off except for his underwear. He was down to his Masked Yaiba briefs. He twitched as his wet briefs leaked a little bit. His eyes were rolling and stars were circling around his head.

“I’m a catch da ball next time ya weiners… den yous gotta wet me pway in da next game, Coach!” Conan spoke, sounding derpy and goofy as he drooled all over himself…

--

Conan rubbed his head down, angrily stomping down the hallway with an invigorated amount of rage emanating with each step he took. 

“That couldn’t have been a mistake.” Conan mused in his head, replaying the humiliating events in his head once more.

That soccer ball knocked him for a loop. Even more humiliating was the fact that this was the second time that exact thing had happened to him, though it was the first time doing so had blown his clothes to shreds.

Now he was trailing after this weirdo in a pair of urine soaked Masked Yaiba underoos. He was more dignified than this, goddammit!

As he approached the next corner,he stopped and pressed his back to the wall, recognizing that there was a conversation in progress. 

“Is this the exit?” Lupin asked, grumbling as he looked at the door before him.

Jigan kicked the door open. “It’s just through this last corridor. We’ll be home free after this.”

Conan growled. “Not gonna happen. Not on my watch.” Conan started to mutter to himself the best course of action to take for the sake of a more genuine and sharp surprise. Conan examined his surroundings and eventually came upon a vent just above him. With a smirk, he tried his best to scale the wall and reach it.

It took a bit of hard work but he managed to grab at it. With his legs dangling a bit in mid-air, he roughly yanked the grate off and started to crawl through it, heading for the next room over right over their heads. 

Conan muttered a bit, grumbling at how uncomfortable the vent was. Although, he knew in his head that it wasn’t meant for a normal human being to crawl through, even someone his size. When he reached a part of the vent that showed him a clear view of the two thieves below him, he grinned and was about ready to plop down and hit them both with the sleep dart…

“What is this?” Jigan asked, opening one of the Supplies Chests sitting by the wall. He reached in and pulled out a diaper and some baby clothes. “Eh? Why is there a chest full of stuff like THIS just sitting out here?”

“This school is particularly harsh with punishments.” Lupin explained. “You lose a fight and those chests are on stand-by for the loser to be punished with should the winner see fit to do so…”

“Ha… well that’s dumb. Might as well fill this thing with garbage.” Jigan smirked.

Conan grumbled and was waiting for them to turn away. “Stop looking at the stupid chest and turn around already…” He muttered, fixing his sleep dart watch and training it on Jigan’s back.

They still weren’t moving.

Why were they just standing around…? 

“Hrrrnnnghhh…” Conan snarled and then pushed his foot against the grate. With a hefty thrust, he shot down onto the floor and fired off a sleep dart straight at Lupin as fast as he could.

Lupin held up a mirror and had the needle bounce off of it at the perfect angle to send it flinging back.

With that, it zipped right into Conan’s neck.

“DUK~!” Conan grunted when he was hit. He babbled stupidly and started to drool, eyes rolling up as he stumbled back like a drunk. “Ohhhh sugar honey ice teaaaaaa…”

Conan sighed and fell onto his back… yet again.

Lupin and Jigan stood over him, looking down at the snoozing boy as he was laid out for a third time thanks to Lupin the 3rd. There was even a bubble in his nose as he snored away.

“Aha… so he was behind us the whole time.” Jigan said.

“Yup. Poor sleepy boy.” Lupin smirked, wiggling his fingers as he reached down at him.

--

Conan grumbled as he opened his eyes. He didn’t know where he was. It was dark and he felt wet still. 

With a bunch of wiggling, he also noticed that his crotch was actually soft and padded. He looked down and realized that he had been put into a diaper. He even had a bib on and a pacifier was strapped to his mouth with tape. There was even a nice baby bonnet attached to his head. All of this stuff was pink, just to add to the humiliation of it all.

“MMMMPH!” Conan angrily wiggled about while trapped in this enclosed space… wherever this was. It felt like he was back in the vents again… wait, was he?

With a quick glance around the darkness, he tried to make out the area. It certainly looked like the vent… 

His next move made him aware of something else that was on his body though. It felt really heavy around the chest region for some reason. What was it that was wrapped around his body though?

Conan grunted in frustration. He hated not knowing what was going on. How did he end up losing in a battle of smarts to that… weird guy!

As he kept an ear open, he eventually started to make out a commotion happening beneath him. His eyes widened as he realized that there was a crowd of people below him. He definitely was in the vent. He could make out more of the restraints on his body now that his senses were clearing up. His legs and arms were indeed tied around his back and that thing that was strapped around his chest had to, no doubt, be an extensive amount of rope. It had to be… even though it strangely didn’t feel like it.

Either way, if he was in the vent, he wanted out. He needed to let them know that the culprit was Lupin the 3rd. He’d probably leave out the part where he was taken down despite being the world’s best detective… and so easily in fact. They didn’t need to know that part…

With several harsh and angry stomps onto the vent with his tied up feet, he started to make the exit rattle. The screws got loose and eventually he saw himself manage to burst through!

Success…!

Now to brace for the drop that was coming…! Dammit!

Conan screamed into his pacifier gag as he fell through the vent and braced for impact on the ground… only to bounce and dangle in mid-air. Turns out there was a rope tied around Conan’s body that was connected to the top of the vent, which allowed him to remain suspended in the air.

Conan wiggled about with his arms and legs restrained and murmuring through the pacifier gag in a hasty huff of discomfort. His eyes darted about the room and then widened when he saw that literally everyone from the trophy room was here, ogling him and his humiliation.

“It’s that kid who acted all smart earlier.” Ray Ray said.

“He looks like a baby. Ha.” Mega Man chuckled a bit.

Conan’s face flushed red and he felt his embarrassed bladder let out a small wave of pee into his diaper prison. Still, he tried to speak through the gag to let them know what was going on only for Mokuba to angrily trot up to him and poke him in his wet diapered front.

Conan winced and made a pained grunt. 

“So that’s why you were being so cocky with me earlier. Talking like you were SO much smarter than me… hmph! You’re gonna pay for this!” Mokuba snapped.

Conan had no clue what Mokuba was talking about. It was then that he finally looked down and properly caught a glimpse at what was around his chest. 

It was the stolen Wrestling Belt!

On his body was a note. Mokuba quickly ripped the note off and showed it to Conan which almost made him dump on himself in shock.

‘I stole your belt but got stopped by heroes of justice. Love, Conan Edogawa.’

“MMMMMMPH!” Conan’s wide eyes were frantic now as he found himself shaking and jittering back and forth.

“Tricking me into thinking you were investigating the thief were you?” Mokuba snapped, truly, venomously angry with Conan.

Mokuba snapped his fingers and watched as his men cut Conan down from where he was suspended, quickly keeping his hands restrained and fitting them for handcuffs instead.

“Take him away boys.” Mokuba sneered.

“MMMMMMMMPPHHH!” Conan screeched behind the pacifier gag as he was dragged off. One of the officers grabbed at the pacifier gag and yanked it off, allowing Conan’s mouth to once again go free.

The instant it was, Conan belted out an angry curse.

“DAMMIT! LET ME GO! IT WASN’T ME! I’LL GET YOU FOR THIS… DAMN YOU, LUPIN THE 3RD!” Conan screamed as they took him away.

As he was dragged away amongst the crowd of people, he screamed into the air one last time.

“LUUUUPIIIIIIIIIINNNNN~!”

--

Lupin the 3rd stood on the roof of the building with his coat hoisted over his shoulder, grinning as he looked down at the street.

Jigen walked up beside him with a lit cigarette in his mouth. “I still don’t know how you managed to figure out that little boy was a detective before we even stole the thing.”

“Elementary my dear, Jigen.” Lupin smiled and tapped at the side of his forehead. “It doesn’t take much to be a super sleuth. It takes a true genius to figure out your way around the sleuther though and one grand way of doing that is to find out who they are before they’re even aware of you.”

“Right… so you goated him into following you so that you could pin the crime on him… and that way when we steal the belt tomorrow for our actual heist…” Jigen began.

“Young Mokuba is gonna have a hard time explaining this to his big brother in the end after all. Poor kid.” Lupin smirked and winked. 

Looks like Conan was being played even before he realized something was stolen. He wasn’t going to like finding that out when Lupin sent him a note explaining what went down in the prison. It’d serve as evidence for Conan to be released though, so there was that. All that’d be left hurt was Conan’s pride.

He’d probably send that note in about a week though. Hopefully Conan enjoyed fun times in jail until then.