Shadow's Special Infiltration Mission - Part 1: Set-Up (Patreon)

“Dammit… y-you can’t…” A wolf in a black rubber suit grunted in pain before his eyes fluttered and he fell back onto the floor. 

He groaned a bit before the mental facilities within his brain shut down and he slumped in defeat. He was a bit cold but it didn’t matter because his bladder practically malfunctioned and he peed his pants right before the person who defeated him.

Panning up, you would see the secret agent in question, standing in his white pants, black shirt, and coat, holding a walkie talkie in hand as he leered ahead before speaking into it.

“Mission complete. I’ve recovered the stolen microchip.” Shadow the Hedgehog said as he spoke into it, sounding stoic as ever but also efficiently keeping himself alert.

“Good job.” A high-ranking G.U.N agent on the other end answered back, sounding elated to hear the news. He wasn’t worried about the mission, but it still made him happy whenever he would hear about how fast Shadow was to complete them. “How hard was it? Did things get messy?”

Shadow looked up and peered around.

There were tons of furry bodies, laid about in unconsciousness across the underground gang area. They were all out cold and looking ridiculous. 

One of them had their head in the toilet. 

A second one was spinning about by their underwear in a wedgie on the ceiling fan.

A third one was face down in the floor boards with their heart boxers on display and their pants down.

Shadow accidently even had another one of them somehow land in a 69 position with another guy. Whoops.

“… A bit.” Shadow finally answered and sighed before turning around and leaving. He was walking away with one of his hands in his pockets as he heard sirens start to show up. These guys were going to be pretty embarrassed once they woke up to realize they had been tossed in prison. They were lucky they weren’t able to see the positions they were in now.

Or at least they would be if Shadow hadn’t taken a few pictures and wasn’t planning on having them sent to each of them in their cells. He could take delight in being a bit mean too after all.

Either way, the mission was done. He was on his way out.

“That’s great! We’ll make sure this is kept under wraps as a Government official situation.” The man on the other end explained. “The fact that that chip was taken is already a huge disgrace.”

“I could tell by the way your voice sounded that it probably was.” Shadow sighed as he walked by a restaurant on the way out. “I’ll take it to you in a bit. I’m just gonna grab some food first and head out. That initial stake out took too long and I’m actually hungry.” Shadow sounded surprised with himself. He rarely ever got hungry enough to stop what he was doing for a bite to eat if he felt what he was already doing was more important.

Little did he know that this rare occasion was going to a spiral towards another disgrace.

He opened the door to the restaurant and heard the little bell ring. It wasn’t one of those sit-down, fancy joints. It had a nice, clean area at the front. There was a counter where you could order your food and you’d get it in about a confident 10 or so minutes, if that. Nothing too slow. He didn’t like fast food so these in-between shops were a god-send.

As he made his way to the counter and stood behind someone, he caught a glimpse of a kid playing with a toy plane in the place. No one seemed too bothered by him since he was actively trying to be as quiet as he could. He was miming plane sounds and making hushed crashing noises. He was what appeared to be a young husky in dark green short-shorts and had a navy blue t-shirt with a bright yellow star on it. 

Shadow eyed him a bit but shifted his gaze back to the front rather fast. He had to admit, the relaxed atmosphere was being a bit interrupted by this kid’s antics for him but no one else seemed to mind. He recognized that he was trying his best to be as quiet as possible but also really wanted to play around so it was good.

Still, all that miming plane crashes and sputtering of the lips as the young tyke made it take off again made his ear twitch. Perhaps if he just… got it to stop for the remainder of his time here…?

No. He was just allowing himself to get annoyed easily. He had no real reason to be so annoyed, honestly. Today was a long day. He spent so much time staking a place out only for the people he fought to end up defeated with a few well-placed kicks and punches. It was over so fast that his underbelly felt as though it had wasted it’s time. Now he was playing delivery boy and he couldn’t even get a bite to eat without the atmosphere being 100% relaxed.

He shook his head again though. This wasn’t fair to him. That kid didn’t know what he had done today. 

The kid in question was zooming about now, however. Perhaps he noticed that no one was stopping his movements and was taking advantage of that fact to kick it up a notch.

Well, if that was the case, Shadow wasn’t going to stand for that. He had to nip the very idea that he could possibly get annoyed in the bud before it hap-!

BAM!

Too late.

The kid had picked up his pace and had run up and down the carpet just once but ended up tripping when his run cycle flubbed up. His toy plane flew out of his hand and through the air like an actual aircraft.

Unfortunately, it ended up smacking the side of Shadow’s face and plopping to the floor at his feet.

The kid gasped and covered his mouth. “Oop! I-I’m so sorry sir!” The boy rushed hurriedly over to the black hedgehog to examine him. “A-Are you hurt mister! I’m SO sorry! Really! I didn’t mean it!” He bowed over and over again.

Shadow turned his head to the side and watched as the child did this. The perked annoyance that was showing on his face calmed itself down a bit though. Seeing this kid be so sorry for what he did couldn’t keep him too angry for too long.

Shadow reached down and plucked the downed toy off the floor and held it up.

“No. It’s alright. You were just playing. Happens all the time, I’m sure.” Shadow sighed, closing his eyes and relenting to keeping his cool. Taking out his frustration with the days disappointing events on this child wouldn’t make him feel better. At best it’d just dampen his mood even more.

“Oh. Really? Well than, thanks.” The boy smiled before attempting to grab his toy. Shadow instinctively pulled back his arm in retaliation. 

“Eh. Best I hold onto it until I get my meal. I’ll give it back to you when I leave.” Shadow said, putting the plane in his pants pocket. It was small so it fit easily.

The boy pouted. A mini punishment eh? That was the same as saying everything wasn’t okay. He was here waiting for his dad to finish work and that was the only thing he had to really let himself have any fun. 

Plus, it might take an eternity before he got his food. Then what? He’d die of boredom, that’s what! No way was he waiting the whole time! He already said sorry anyway. 

The reasoning ability of a small husky child was to be envied. He almost made too much sense. It was kind of scary.

Either way, he found himself nodding so as not to give away the fact that he clearly didn’t agree with the action Shadow had decided to take. The black hedgehog ordered his food and was waiting for it to arrive. It wouldn’t take too long but that’s supposedly supposed to be the point of fast food joints on the rung lower than a place like this and they sometimes took forever. 

The kid was done thinking it over. He stood behind Shadow and bored his eyes at the black hedgehog’s pants pocket. Shadow could feel the kid staring at him and felt like the kid was eyeballing his butt. He had to imagine it was the pocket he put the plane into but it still felt off.

Still, he wasn’t going to back down from what he just did. He believed in discipline even if he didn’t want to be too harsh right off the bat. The kid didn’t, however, and slowly stuck his hand out, managing to sneak it inside of Shadow’s deep left pocket.

Shadow, of course, felt it immediately and sighed.

He turned around and grabbed the kid’s arm, hoisting him up. “Kid. You don’t seem to have a lot of patience, do you?”

“Oh…! I… well…?” The kid grinned, hoping he’d think of a way to play this off as something innocent. “I’m just a… fast guy. You know?”

Shadow blinked. “I’m not too fond of people who both revel in and gloat about how fast they are.”

“Ah. Sorry.” The husky chuckled, beads of sweat forming on his head.

Shadow sighed. “Where are your parents?”

“AH! No! Wait, hang on!” The kid began, panicking a bit when Shadow mentioned that. He started to flail about and resist. “Don’t tell my dad. I’m sorry! Really! I’ll put it back!”

“You didn’t grab it. I still feel the plane in my pocket.” Shadow said, eyeing him.

“Eh?” The kid was a bit confused by that since he was certain he had grabbed something. “W-Well, either way, it’s alright. I’ll just be on my way. You can even keep it.” He said kicking about now. “COME ON! PLEASE!”

Shadow held onto the kid, contemplating what he should do next before the kid ended up whacking his belt buckle. The boy had some force behind his young kick because it ended up snapping a bit.

Without a moment’s notice, Shadow’s pants came undone and they fell to his ankles! Shadow gasped and looked down at himself. He immediately let the boy go and drop to the floor, hurriedly bending down to grab his pants.

“Order up!” A person in the back came out, holding a bag of food for the black hedgehog. “EH?! Ken? What are you doing here?”

“DAD?!” The boy looked up in surprise. “I got out of school and came here cause I wanted us to walk home together. It’s almost 8 o’clock.”

Shadow, meanwhile, was grumbling with a blush, hunched over and yanking his pants up fast. A flash of his Batman tighty whities had shown to the restaurant but not long enough for people to have actually spotted them. That was good. He couldn’t have it getting out that he wore briefs, let alone a pair with a superhero on it like some school child.

“Ken, I’m afraid it’s gonna take a bit longer than that. I probably won’t be coming home tonight because I’m going to be staying over at Aunt Jenny’s. Your mom is still in Westopolis, taking care of business too. You might be by yourself for a bit.” The man explained as he made sure Shadow took his food.

The black hedgehog grumbled and held his pants with one hand and the food with the other, turning to head out the store but not before tossing the boy’s toy plane back at him.

Ken caught it, watched it fumble about his hands for a bit, before sighing when it relaxed in the palm of his hands. He then faced his dad and nodded. “Okay. I’ll head on home then. I like being by myself at home anyway.”

His dad smiled. “Sure. Just don’t throw any wild parties, okay boss.”

“Pff. I don’t even know how I’d go about doing that.” Ken grinned. 

“You’re good at making all those weird contraptions and traps but you don’t think you’d be able to set up a decent party? Really?” His dad asked, raising a brow.

“Those two things aren’t the same.” Ken laughed before turning around and rushing out the door. “See ya dad. Bye mister! Sorry about hitting you with the plane again.”

Shadow snorted as he watched the kid shoot by him and hop onto his bike. Before he completely headed out though, he noticed the waistband of the kid’s underwear.

He had on plaid boxers.

Shadow couldn’t help but blush a bit. 

“… Wh-whatever… it’s not like underwear means anything…” He muttered before finally heading out.

--

Ken whistled a bit to himself as he rode his bike across the street and down the sidewalk to his suburban home. It was a bit of a fun ride due to the fact that it had started to rain. Not to mention, he had gotten his hands on something really cool.

When he rode to the front of his house, he opened the palm of his hand and saw the little microchip sitting there.

“I knew I grabbed something.” He whispered. “I wish I had remembered to give it back before I ran off. I guess I was just too excited about being home alone again… wonder what this is though…?”

He held the microchip up before he used his little key to enter the house. Once inside, he shuffled his shoes off, scampered up stairs, took off his pants, put on a pair of shorts, and sat down at the front chair facing his computer.

He laid the microchip down before him and looked it over. “Odd… it’s so tiny but it feels like it’s made of super strong material…” He said before reaching over and grabbing a microscope. His room was full of a bunch of weird contraptions and junk. Most of it was used for the sake of building weird things, like catapults, potato guns, and homemade tasers.

He had a bit of an inventor’s edge to him and science, unlike the other kids in his class, fascinated him. Though, ironically, he wasn’t too big a fan of math.

Either way, he put the microchip under the scope and looked into it. “… Hmm… it’s definitely not a normal computer chip. It looks like there’s a small little… what is that? A tiny button…?”

He reached over and grabbed a small hair pin. He used them sometimes whenever he was trying to nudge little things out of super tiny compartments in whatever device he wanted to build. Here, he managed to neatly prick the microchip with the hairpin and watched in awe once he pressed the little button he spotted on it.

Suddenly, a hologram came from the microchip. 

“Confidential file replacement complete!” The image of one of the criminals Shadow defeated was being projected in front of him. “We’ve managed to rewire the microchip before the G.U.N agents could stop us. This will act as a placeholder video for people within our organization that get the chip passed around to them. The info on this thing is very important. Only activate the button on it if you’re in an emergency. Input the boss’s security code to confirm you’re a member in 5 seconds and we’ll continue, otherwise a signal will be sent out to alert other members within our organization and you’ll be tracked down.”

“T-Tracked down…?! Oh no!” Ken panicked. Some criminals had stolen a microchip from G.U.N, replaced the hologram video in betted into it with one of their own, and was now asking for security clearance to activate the rest of it or else people would hunt him down! He didn’t know the password though!

However, he also had no idea that there was no need to worry, as Shadow had already beaten them all, including their boss. 

Still, the video was counting down. The guy who made it was going to input something that would make the alert to them that their mission had been compromised later but Shadow burst in and defeated them all before it could be completed. This video was a warning to something that couldn’t happen.

Regardless, Ken was running around his room, wetting his shorts in a panic as the goon on the holographic video counted down from 5 to 1.

“3… 2… 1…! Sending authorized personnel to recover the chip now.” The goon said with a smile. 

The video cut off.

Ken fell onto his butt, a bit of a pee puddle around him.

“… I… I’m dead! Th-That guy! He must have been a bad guy working for them! And now he or someone else is gonna come and kill me!” Ken panicked, snot dripping from his nose as his eyes got all teary and his face got all sweaty. “… N-No… No way! Nuh-uh! I’m NOT letting them get me!”

He stood up suddenly and began smacking his cheeks. “Pull it together Ken. You can DO this! If they’re coming here anyway, then you gotta defend yourself! Yeah… or… or I could just… call the police… and tell them that I stole a microchip from an underground criminal syndicate while rummaging through a goon’s pocket when he was trying to order a burger at the shop my dad works at… I-I’m sure they’d think that a reasonable thing to respond to from an 8-year-old… haha…”

He stood in silence for a bit.

“… No. No, I gotta defend myself still. Even if the police don’t believe me, it won’t mean anything if I’m dead before they arrive!” He clenched his fists together. “Right! That means it’s GO TIME!”

With that, Ken stripped off his wet shorts and drenched boxers, hopped into the shower and cleaned himself off, then hoped out and put on some new shorts, underwear, and t-shirt.

He then ran to his room and got out all his contraption creating supplies. 

Rope, wires, tasers, marbles, super glue, you name it. It was all here!

He nodded and happily got to speeding around the house. It was time to booby trap the house!

--

Shadow walked weirdly as he headed down the street. Having to hold up his pants and endure the rain as he did so was annoying enough but the fact that they forgot the mayo on his burger mildly bothered him as well.

“Whatever. Mayo isn’t very good anyway.” Shadow sighed before reaching into his pocket. “I’ve gotta get this thing back to… back to…”

Shadow stopped.

His eyes widened and sweat began trickling down his face.

“Are… are you… kidding me…?” Shadow muttered.

He stood in silence for a bit before clenching his fists and hollowing in anger at the sky. “GOD DAMMIT!” He shouted, letting go of his pants which caused them to flop against the ground yet again.

He heard someone whistle at him which made him blush and hastily yank them back up before rushing off.

On his way, he made sure to tie his belt to his pants in a bit of a knot. It was uncomfortable but it would keep them from falling. Though the sagging they were doing was still unbearable. Either way, he had more pressing matters to attend to.

He turned on his wrist communicator and began speaking into it. “Rouge! Rouge, are you there?”

Shadow heard a peppy comeback from the other end almost instantly. “Yup. You’re friendly neighborhood Batgirl is here. What’s up?”

“Rouge, I need the household location for a husky kid named Ken.” Shadow said.

“A… husky… and his name is Ken?” Rouge mimed on the other end. “Well, let’s see. Which city are you in?”

“I’m in Central City right now. I just got back from a mission.” Shadow said. “Had a bite to eat at a Medium Burger.”

“Oh? Was it tasty?”

“They forgot the Mayo.”

“Sounds like a yes to me.” Rouge chuckled before Shadow heard some typing on the other end. “Well, you’re in luck. There aren’t many huskies named Ken in that city. Only one. I’ll send you the address. Our files here say he’s an 8-year-old. You sending a candy gram?”

“No. On the contrary. He’s gonna give ME something instead. See ya.” Shadow said, cutting her off and heading towards the location that showed up on his communicator.

--

“And DONE!” Ken smiled as he dusted his hands off. The outside was booby trapped. The inside was booby trapped. Everything was a go in case those robbers came. There was even a thing that was set to go off should someone use a house key to get in to alert Ken that a parent was home. That way he could rummage through the traps in the front and tear them down. It was perfect.

“Now to phone the cops.” Ken smiled and grabbed his I-Phone…

Just outside though, Shadow ended up perched on the fence like Spider-Man, eyeing the building and snarling as he looked ahead at it.

“Here you are…” Shadow muttered before zipping to the door and knocking on it. “OPEN UP!”

Ken punched in the number 9 for 911 on his phone but didn’t get to any of the other numbers when Shadow knocked. He yelped and dropped the phone to the floor, scooting behind his desk chair. “Oh no… it’s that guy! It’s HIM!”

“I SAID OPEN UP! I KNOW YOU’RE IN THERE! You have something that belongs to ME!” Shadow shouted louder.

Ken covered his mouth. 

“Don’t panic… don’t… panic…” Ken muttered and sighed. “He can’t get in…” Ken looked at the computer screen and eyed the little camera he set up by the front door. “So… he’s tugging at the doorknob right now…”

Shadow was indeed gripping at the doorknob and trying to wiggle it about. “Hmph. Fine then. I guess I’ll just have to rip it off its hinges. It’s too bad. I didn’t want to hinder your parent’s place.”

“Don’t worry. You won’t.” Ken said before reaching over to his keyboard and pressing “T” on it. “Hope this works…”

Shadow tightly gripped the doorknob again and went to turn it… but the instant he did, electricity jolted through his arm and through his body in a magnanimous ZAP!

“ZZZZZZZZRRKKKKKKK~!” Shadow gritted his teeth as his body straightened out. What remained of the broken belt buckle melted a bit and blew off of him. The shock discharged and sent him springing back and landing in a smoking heap on the ground.

He laid there, spread-eagle, pants sagging, and eyes crossed. He jittered a bit too.

“Wh… wh…ahgh…” Shadow sputtered and drooled a bit.

The idea of it mortified him, but he also swore he felt a tiny wetness in his underwear too… 

“HAHA! It worked!” Ken laughed from his room and spun in his chair.

Shadow, however, forced himself up and gurgled a tad. “O-Okay… I-If that’s how y-y-you wanna play it…! Game on…!”