The Ridonculous Race - Episode 2: An Embarrassing Scramble for the Gold (Patreon)

Manzo grabbed a glass and clinked it together with a spoon he held in his possession. "Alright you all. Stop with the wacky weirdness and gather round for a bit so that I can explain the rules to you."

The collective group of anime and cartoon characters all stopped their collective mingling, fighting, and groaning to stand at attention for what looked to be their first real foray into this heated competition.

"Be sure to leave your bags and stuff here. I'll send my men to come around and collect what you've got so that it can be taken to the hotel in the next country. Also, make sure that if you're going to take stuff with you, that it's going to be in a carry-on backpack or something. No suitcases allowed." Manzo explained.

Dot grumbled a bit. "Drat." She reached into her skirt pocket and took out this humongous pink and glittery suitcase the size of an elephant and watched it hover over Wakko for a tad before he gulped and watched helplessly as it smashed down on top of him.

The others just took their small steps away from her.

" Rules were already laid out for you in the packages you all received but here's a quick refresher. In each challenge you will race around the world to go from one country to the next and complete mini objectives along the way. The last to reach the chill zone at the end of each episode will be eliminated. Simple." Manzo said with his hands out, smiling. "There are checkpoints between the areas you need to travel through before reaching the Chill Zone that each have a Manzo-Box there. Go up to the Manzo-Box, click on the red button on the top, and out will pop a tip explaining what your next objective will be in the leg of the race until you reach the Chill Zone, signaling the end of your day." 

During the explanation, you could see flashes of excitement and arrogance on the faces of the competitors.

Alvin grinned and did the quirky, eyebrow spasms at his younger brother. Simon just rolled his eyes but couldn't help smiling a bit.

Ray Ray was bouncing up and down with his fists clenched while Juniper patted him on the head.

Goten and Trunks were rubbing their greedy little hands together.

Gon was attentive with sparkling, determined eyes while Killua was busy looking at Gon, blushing a tad...

Tia was choking Zatch by hugging him close to her which made him gag and flail about with tears streaming down his face.

Mokuba shifted through his money while Yugi looked miserable.

It was a collective of interesting and clashing personalities to be sure. He was going to have a lot of fun watching this group do their stuff.

"Any questions before we send you on your way?" Manzo asked.

Mac raised his hand. 

"Yes. Excuse me but, how many Manzo-Boxes will be in each challenge?"

"Well that depends on the challenge," Manzo inquired. " You'll be tasked with an opening objective and you'll need to reach the Manzo-Box to receive info on what your next objective will be. When one of the Manzo-Boxes says that your next objective will require you to race to the Chill-Zone that'll be the clue in that it's the last objective of the day." 

Konohamaru decided to be cute at that moment. "Objectives for each Manzo-Box until we reach one that says just run to the Chill-Zone?  What if we're exhausted by the time we reach the first box? Will you be sorry for making your challenges too hard." The young ninja boy snickered.

Manzo just stared at him.

"Hmph. Your first objective will start here in Toronto, Canada. It's to race to the top of CN Tower. That will be where you'll find your first Danny-Box. Whoever reaches it first will receive the info on what to do next first and they'll continue on from there. Now everyone line up-!" Danny said. 

Luffy's stomach made a loud grumble at that point in time.

"Uhm... what about FOOD!?" The pirate captain screamed suddenly.

"You'll have to WAIT!" Manzo fired back, wagging his finger. "You should have prepared and ate something on the way here."

"He did..." Chopper leered to the side, "The stuff for Lunch AND Dinner as a matter of fact..."

"Ugh. I'm not sharing a space with this group of losers for too much longer." Bakugo snarled, hands in his pocket.

Manzo turned around and marched his way towards the exit of the airport. Everyone that fell behind began to follow in lockstep before they all managed to make it out the door and gasped in collective awe at the large CN Tower in the distance.

"Wow." Wakko said, nursing the large bump on his head while Dot checked herself in the mirror, getting ready for the big, and possibly very dirty, race ahead.

"Now remember, your powers are nerfed. You can still do everything you could do before but at the level of someone who can compete with normal human beings. You understand that right?" Manzo asked.

"Yeah." Meliodas nodded. "We got it good sir."

"Christity, Christ, Christ, Christ. Thank GOD for that..." Dipper huffed out some fresh air, clearly relieved. Trunks looked over and felt a tad insulted by that.

"Ah. Gonna have to show him and everyone else just how outmatched they truly are. Nerfed powers or not." Trunks sneered with Goten snickering too.

"Alright." Manzo raised the starting gun. "Any means of travel is legal. You're allowed to do whatever you wish to reach the top of CN Tower. When you get there, find the Manzo-Box and it'll explain to you what your next objective is. You're on your own now. So without further ado let the Ridonculous Race...!"

Everyone got into a starting position.

"BEGIN!" Manzo fired the gun.

"HAHA! Time to blast off!" Trunks shouted suddenly. "SEE YA SUCKERS!"

He powered up and blasted straight up... and then bashed his head on the metal support beam outside the airport.

"Lalala~!" Trunks sang a bit with his eyes crossing immediately. He fell and face planted to the ground with his butt sticking up. Goten's eyes widened as he stared down at him, in pure disbelief.

Everyone else was momentarily stunned by that too until Bakugo literally did what Trunks was trying to do and launched himself forward with an explosive blast, gripping Midoriya's scared hand as he did so and ignoring the crying pleas of his partner as his costume was being scorched off bit by bit!

That blast from Bakugo kick-started the others into action and had them all immediately race off after him! Some of them followed in a straight line, others scattered and went their own separate ways.

Goten groaned, reached down, lifted up his unconscious friend over his shoulder, then took off to the sky.

"Well... we'll still get their faster if we just fly over everything. No big deal." Goten said to himself. "... Now that the Straw-hat guy mentions it... I am kinda hungry..."

Ai Haibara ran alongside Conan, falling behind of a lot of people but not necessary in the back either. "Hmm... CN Tower..." She looked at the horizon of the Toronto skyline. "It's several miles southeast of here."

"Hmph," Conan grinned and took out his skateboard. "This'll be easy. Haibara. Get on. We're blasting our way through them all."

Ai looked a bit pensive but sighed. "If it gets us a good distance ahead then alright. Just be sure not to crash or run afoul of any cars in the road." She said, grabbing ahold of his shoulders and blasting off on the super-powered skateboard.

Luffy and Chopper were running along when the pirate captain noticed Naruto and Konohamaru break off to scale up the side of a building.

"Come on Kono. We're going to get on through by use of the roof-tops. NINJA-STYLE!" Naruto grinned.

"Haha. Advantage for the ninjas!" Konohamaru cheered.

Luffy blinked and then grinned wickedly. "Hey Chopper. Grab onto me. I've got an idea!"

"Huh... uh... okay?" Chopper shrugged and grabbed at Luffy's shorts. He was surprised when he saw his captain race off to the side a bit too, heading for what looked like two adjacent poles at the sides of the street.

"OH! Look at how pretty it is from far-away!" Numbuh 3 chirped in excitement as she gazed at the beautiful sunset. "I wanna find the cute kitty and reindeer and take a picture with their fluffy-bum-bums at it! Where...? Where'd they go?" She looked around, confused.

"Forget about the dumb cat Kuki." Numbuh 4 took out a small device and watched it unfold into their KND 2x4 technology, R.O.C.K.E.T.C.Y.C.L.E and watched it start to rev up. "we'll be on our way soon. Heheheh..."

"Aww... fine." Kuki sighed and went onto the back of cycle. In a moment's notice, it was revved up and it shot outward like a literal rocket, leaving a streak of flame in its wake.

"Oh man. That was close." Happy sighed as he laid perched on Natsu's head as they ran. "That little Asian girl was leering at me a little too hard. I didn't want to end up her next huggable stuffed toy or something... well either way! Now that we're concentrating on our goal, we can WIN! Right Natsu?"

"..."

"Huh...?" Happy received no answer and leered down at Natsu.

Natsu was stumbling around in a daze.

"Urp... I thought I recovered a little TOO fast after getting off that plane... I'm gonna hurl..." Natsu whined as he dotted about, making Happy sputter about as he tried to remain latched onto his partner. 

"Whoa! What? Natsu! The plane ride ended a while ago! You can't still be sick from it can you?" Happy inquired, sounding rather afraid. He grew even more concerned when he looked ahead and noticed that everyone, literally everyone, was ahead of them!

They were dead last!

"C-Come on Natsu we've gotta get a move on! I know! I'll carry you! Let us fly!" Happy snapped and began to lift Natsu off the ground. Natsu's eyes widened with fear and he gripped Happy's neck, choking him roughly.

"HEEK! WHAT ARE Yuuuu~!" Happy's face turned purple as Natsu held onto him.

"PLANE! FLIGHT! CAN'T... CAN'T...!" Natsu twitched as he stared ahead, getting sick even more and turning green.

"Don't think about it! D-Don't...!" Happy began to gurgle and foam at the mouth, finding it hard to breathe, a little wet spot forming in his orange shorts...

Even though they were in the very back of the pack, they could still see a few groups ahead of them that had completely stayed behind and stopped. Why? Well, because they weren't going to run, but utilize the transportation around them that no one else seemed to notice.

Mac and Killua stood by the bus stop with their hands in their pockets while across the street, Alvin and Simon were doing their own thing.

Simon had his hands crossed as he watched Alvin seemingly make a fool of himself, trying to hitchhike.  Alvin stood at the side of the road, sticking his thumb sideways as cars drove past, biting his lip while looking rather anxious. "Come on dammit! Taxi! Simon! Quickly, strip so we can attract someone who's a fan of ours and has always wanted to see you naked!" He said, grabbing at Simon's sweater.

 "Wait-wha...?!" Simon yelped as Alvin grabbed his sweater and actually sent him spinning like a top out of it when he pulled it off, leaving the boy with his glasses and his Hello Kitty Briefs with purple waistband. He immediately yelped and covered himself. "ALVIN! Exploiting this fetish isn't gonna work! Give it back!" he then made a jump for his sweater. Alvin, of course, kept it out of reach.

 Meanwhile, Mac tapped his foot as he waited for the bus, not paying Killua any mind. The two of them weren't going to stop each other right now. "The time is about right," Mac said, looking at the clock through a store window. "We should be good if we get on fast and BLOO! HURRY OVER HERE!" Mac didn't want to yell that the bus was coming due to not wanting to alert anyone else that there was a bus stop here. Killua seemed to be the only other one who noticed. 

"Yeah, gimmie a minute." Bloo called back to Mac before turning back to the street vendor who had an assortment of Canadian tourist items on display. "Ooo~! How much for these gloves?!"

"Five bucks..." The bored looking vendor said.

"Ohh... hmm... that's kind of steep for me..." Bloo dug into his 'imaginary' pocket and pulled out a ball of lint and a paper-clip. "What if I told you these belonged to a king...?"

Mac growled as he saw Bloo try to haggle for useless nick-nacks while Gon approached Killua with a bag of chips he nonchalantly bought at a nearby store.

"Is the bus here yet?" Gon asked.

"About a minute or two and we'll be off." Killua stated.

Mac began to sweat.

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"Hahaha~! This is actually really great!" Conan smirked as he blasted his skateboard on through the crowd of runners. They passed by TJ and Gus, Ash and Max, Tai and Izzy, Danny and Timmy, Juniper and Ray Ray, Yugi and Mokuba, Shippo and Kohaku, and so on with ease.

"This skateboard is rather impressive," Ai smiled. She had to admit, the looks on the faces of the teams they were passing was speaking the truth. The results weren't hard to ignore.

"Of course. Dr. Agasa builds the best weapons and materials. Nothing can compare." Conan grinned as he looked back and saw everyone behind them. 

"Still, it looks like we're only in third place." Ai said as she tapped Conan's shoulder and pointed straight ahead.

"Eh? Hey!" Conan gasped in shock, seeing the rocket bike that Wally and Kuki were riding on, noticing the streaks of flame pouring out from the tires as they did so. "I see them but... shouldn't there be another team ahead if we're in third?"

"Look up." Ai stated.

Conan looked up and frowned in anger when he spotted Goten flying with the still unconscious Trunks over his shoulder, a good distance ahead of the fast moving bike and skateboard.

"Well that's just typical..." Conan snarled.

Goten sighed as he carried Trunks, now in his Super Saiyan form but finding it rather annoying that he wasn't at the tower yet.

"Sheesh. Trunks was right. This doesn't feel fair. I'd have been there by now if I had regular Super Saiyan powers. I'm already kind of tired too..." Goten muttered before noticing something wet going down his back. "EWW! Trunks! You're drooling! Come on!"

Kuki was managing the weapons systems of the small bike as she sat in the back and was also keeping an eye out for people approaching from behind while Wally steered them straight ahead.

"Oh! Lookie lookie. We've got company!" Kuki grinned like the schoolgirl she was, noticing Conan and Ai on their tail.

"Blast em off the road then Kuki!" Numbuh 4 shouted, waving his fist with excitement. He wasn't in first place quite yet but boy did it feel awesome having such a great lead!

"Okaaaaaay~!" Numbuh 3 grinned, suddenly looking wicked with sharp animal teeth, as the bike's lower compartment opened up and sent out gumballs towards Conan and Ai's skateboard!

"Time to remove all doubts about this skateboard being a bad idea Edogawa-kun! Show me what you can do!" Ai shouted. Conan grinned and got into a battle ready stance.

"With pleasure~!" Conan smiled as he began to skate around the gumballs, watching as they tumbled on past. This trap wasn't going to nail him if he had anything to say about it.

The teams running behind them weren't so lucky though.

"AAAAH!" Ben shouted in disdain as he began slipping on all the gumballs. He flung forward and bashed his head against Tai's head!

The two of them went swirly eyed and fell back, which meant Izzy and Gwen had to stop to see to their state of consciousness.

"HAHAHAHA! LOSERS!" Shippo called back to them as he ran with Kohaku.

"Do you really think we should tempt fate by calling them names when it's unnecessary to poke the bear at this stage?" Kohaku asked.

"We'll be fine. What's gonna happen?" Shippo asked with a sneer.

"LUFFY! WHAT ARE WE DOING AGAIN!?" Chopper shouted in a panic, waaaaay behind everyone with Luffy, clinging to his body as the straw-hat captain grinned and tugged his arms back, keeping them latched on the twin telephone poles. He was going further and further back, looking more and more like a slingshot.

"Don't worry Chopper. Hehehe. This is gonna be awesome." Luffy smirked as he kept going back. "A little bit more...!"

-------

As this was going on Happy stood outside the bathroom of a 7-Eleven, listening to the sounds of vomiting coming from Natsu in the toilet. 

"Let it aaaaall out Natsu. You're gonna be okay... I hope..." Happy sighed.

The clerk just looked at them as he laid down his newspaper. It was a blue cat in a white shirt and some orange shorts (that looked a bit wet in the front) actually talking to what looked like a pink-haired loon in pumpkin pants, who was muttering some nonsense about hating airplanes... 

"Sheesh... tourists never cease to surprise me..." The man said, going back to his paper.

-------

"ALVIN!" Simon snapped, even redder with anger as he tried his best to grab for the sweater again. 

"Come on Simon. If you want the sweater back, you gotta be at least a little good at snatching things. Try aiming for where I'm gonna be and not where I am." Alvin teased with a wicked playful grin.

"Alvin! This is dumb! It's stupid! It's freaking moronic! It's already a chore going along with this plan to snag a Taxi or to hitchhike in some car, which would totally go against Dave's wishes to never get into a stranger's car, but you seriously believe you're going to reliably grab someone's attention by putting me on display in my underwear? GET RE-" Simon tried to shout but the two were suddenly taken aback when a car skidded to a stop in front of them.

"Oh my gosh! Are you two Alvin and Simon! EEEE~! You are! It is~!" The peppy girl in the taxi looked on with extreme happiness. "I almost didn't stop because I felt daft thinking I was seeing Simon Seville in Hello Kitty briefs! SOOOOOOO CUTE~!"

Alvin smiled happily. Simon blushed, astonished by this turn of events. 

"I know," Alvin began before pinching Simon's cheeks. "He's adorable isn't he? How about giving us a ride?"

"Th... This isn't happening...? Is it...?" Simon stood there wide-eyed and flabbergasted. 

"He IS adorable!" The girl continued. "I don't mind giving you a ride but only if you do a nice little dance and put your finger to your cheek and smile at the end of it like a cutie!" She said.

"Awesome. Go on bro." Alvin pushed the blushing brother of his forward. Simon was unable to fully comprehend the idea that he was being forced to dance for this woman so they could get a ride.

He screamed, "NO WAY! You may have taken my clothes! However, I refuse to allow you to take the rest of my dignittyyyyyyyy~!" Simon began yelping in shock when he was suddenly sent spinning like a top when two small mamodo children zoomed right by him!

"Oh! Sorry!" Tia yelled, holding onto Zatch's hand as she ran. This was strange though. Alvin looked on with a raised brow, knowing why it was unusual.

"I could have sworn I saw the two of them in the group that ran AHEAD of us earlier..." Alvin rubbed his chin while Simon kept spinning beside him. 

"AAAGH! TIA! WE RAN IN A CIRCLE! WE WERE WITH EVERYONE AND THEN WE ENDED UP BEHIND! WILL YOU PLEASE SLOW DOWN SO WE CAN SEE WHERE WE'RE GOING!?" Zatch screamed, tears flinging from his eyes! She was zooming by so fast that his blue skirt was starting to rip apart!

"I know where we're going! We just gotta make it to the big tower! I haven't lost sight of it yet! That must mean we're getting closer!" Tia snapped as she rounded another unnecessary corner. Zatch screamed as his body was smashed into trashcans and a dumpster on their way through.

"Hmm..." Alvin watched them speed off. "What an odd couple."

Simon finally slowly spun to a stop, dizzy, with a goofy smile on his cross-eyed face. "Oh...oh...a-am I...a... pretty ballerina...?" he said this while putting a finger to his cheek like the girl in the cab asked.

"EEEEK! SOOOOOO CUTE!" The swayed back and forth as she got the video of this action on her phone. "Alright! That's good. Get in!"

She opened the door and with a mighty swing, Alvin got the taxi door open and shoved Simon in so hard he smacked against the window and toppled over, upside down with his eyes rolling in their sockets. Alvin plopped down next to him with a smirk.

"CN Tower please, madam."

Across the street, Killua watched the chipmunks finally get their ride as the bus came into view. Good. This meant they were headed off at the same time.

Gon was busy eyeballing and poking a caterpillar on the grass when he was suddenly yanked away by Killua.

"Ah!" Gon let out a gasp of surprise.

"Stick close to me okay? I don't want a salamander crawling down your super-short-shorts while we're here okay?" Killua huffed like a mom as they climbed aboard, leaving Mac behind to panic and sweat buckets as he could do nothing but look back and forth between the bus and Bloo while he kept haggling with the street vendor.

"BLOO! TODAY!" Mac shouted once again, having done so four times before. This was the last time and it proved to be just as fruitless. Mac's mouth hung open as the door to the bus closed and left him behind. It had a schedule to keep and it wasn't waiting for this kid.

Mac held out his hand as he saw the bus disappear in the distance before Bloo finally approached him.

"Hey Mac, look at my new gloves!" Bloo grinned and made them dance in front of his friend's face. "You likie?"

Mac's face turned red with anger as he marched right up into Bloo's face. "LOOK WHAT HAPPENED?! WE MISSED THE BUS! Now instead of in the LEAD we're probably DEAD LAST because we didn't take off running with the others! What are you even trying to do here?" He asked, looking the stand over, completely exasperated with his friend.

"Oh? We missed the bus did we?" Bloo asked, pondering what to do. "Well we can't just stand around, staring at the merch. We gotta go." Bloo shuffled back and forth a bit, earning more and more ire from Mac as he watched this. 

--------

Meanwhile, on the bus, Gon was frowned a bit at how Killua had handled him back there.

"Hnn. You know you don't need to be so worried about me. What I'm more worried about is whether or not we'll get where we need to go in time. Do you know where this bus is even headed?" Gon asked.

Killua rolled his eyes.  "The times on the bus stop said it was heading for the CN Tower at 2:00PM. That's exactly what time it is now so we're on our way there." Killua said simply, watching as they easily passed pretty much everyone in the competition outside the window. "See! Look at them! They're stupidly going much slower than... weeeeeEEEEEK! WHAT THE HELL!" Killua panicked when the bus suddenly turned and went down a different street. "HEY! WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA! THE CN TOWER IS THE OTHER WAY!" He snapped at the bus driver.

"Huh? Kid, I've already been to the CN Tower. That was 30 minutes ago." He said.

"HUH?! BUT THE TIME!" Killua pointed at the time on his phone.

".... The time on that phone is off. Did you forget to reset your time when you crossed time zones to get here?"

Killua stood there sweating and blushing suddenly. He looked the side, embarrassed beyond a reasonable doubt as the people in the bus began giggling at him...

"...... " Gon merely stared at his blushing friend before he uttered a single word. "Smoothe..."

He then raised a fist and clocked Killua upside the head with it, making his partner lurch forward like the idiot he currently felt like he was.

--------

Bloo finally stopped and snapped his... blobby hand as if it had fingers and went on over to the merchant. "How much for that rusty old bike."

"$50." The merchant said, not batting an eye.

"Hmm. How's about a pair of pants instead?" Bloo asked.

".... A pair of pants AND a shirt."

"Ohhh. You drive a hard bargain my friend. Okay. Pants, shirt, AND a pair of shoes!" Bloo smirked, teeth sparkling.

"Deal." The man said without a flinch.

"Good." Bloo turned to Mac. "Alright dude. You heard the man. Give him what he wants."

 "WHAT?! BLOO! What are you doing?! I'm not giving you my clothes!" Mac snapped. "We had a perfectly good ride and you made us MISS it because of your stupidity!"

Of course, Mac didn't know that the Bus wasn't actually headed for the CN Tower but still...

Bloo looked back at the merchant.

"... No clothes. No bike." The merchant said simply.

Bloo nodded then looked back at Mac...

"... FOR THE GOOD OF THE TEAM!" Bloo suddenly jumped and tackled Mac to the ground, getting them into a big, cartoon fight cloud.

"AAAAAAAAGH! BLOO! STAAAAAHP!" Mac screamed aloud as they flailed about.

When the dust settled Bloo had Mac clothes in hand and plopped them onto the counter.

The merchant gave a thumbs up and Bloo happily pulled the rickety old bike before them and sat down. "Excellent. What are you waiting for Mac? Get on!"

Mac laid there on the ground in just a pair of tighty whities with Blue from Blues Clues on the butt. "Ugh... gugh...goohh..." 

He stumbled up, wobbled forward, then draped himself over the backseat like a throw-rug.

"EXTREME TEAM! GOOOOO~!" Bloo screamed as they rode off down the road.

"... I... hate... you..." Mac moaned to himself.

The merchant stood with Mac's clothes and then wrapped Mac's pants around his neck like a scarf.

In dead last, Natsu was still throwing up in the 7-Eleven bathroom...

-------

THE RACE SO FAR:

Currently in 1st: Goten & Trunks

Currently in 2nd: Numbuh 4 & Numbuh 3

Currently in 3rd: Conan & Ai

Currently in 4th: Naruto & Konohamaru

Currently in a mish-mash for 5th: Yusuke & Rinku, Dipper & Mabel, Midoriya and Bakugo, Juniper and Ray Ray, Meliodas & King, Shippo & Kohaku, Danny & Timmy, Wakko & Dot, Soul Eater & Black Star, Ash & Max, Yugi & Mokuba, and TJ & Gus

Currently in 6th: Tai & Izzy and Ben & Gwen

Currently in 7th: Luffy & Chopper

Currently in 8th: Zatch & Tia

Currently in 9th: Alvin & Simon

Currently in 10th: Gon & Killua

Currently in 11th: Mac & Bloo

Currently in 12th/Last Place: Natsu & Happy

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This chapter's got a few ideas from an old RP I did in it. Still not at a point where the story can go for a majority vote sort of deal just yet. We'll try that next time. For now, I want to know, which team's antics did you like the most in this chapter? I want to know which one came off the best here.