Sonic: Survival of the Weakest - Chapter 1: Meet the Wrestling Goobers (Patreon)

It was an extremely split poll once again but the side for the Sonic characters just edged things out. That said, I'll probably do the anime one later anyway so don't fret. It'll be here eventually.

As a reminder, the way this interactive story will work is that I'll write a chapter for the story every Monday and at the end of it there will be a choice you all have to make by the poll that will decide where the story goes next. Whichever option gets the most votes will be where the story heads next. With that out of the way, onto chapter 1.

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Chapter 1: Meet the Wrestling Goobers

"Sheesh. They raise and lower the price on Chili out of freakin' nowhere now." Sonic sighed, stammering as he stomped out of the grocery store with two filled bags in his hands. Dressed in a white t-shirt with a nice neon green lightning bolt pattern on it, as well as some nice black pants, he was ready to make the most of what he thought was starting off as only a "so-so" kind of day. "They could at least be a bit more upfront about WHEN they're gonna-OOF!" 

The blue hedgehog stopped in his tracks when he bumped into his fox buddy from behind. The two of them had been shopping together but Tails had exited with his share of the shopping spoils first. It was odd that he was just standing there on the sidewalk like he was a lost child or something.

Actually, on further inspection, he was reading something. It looked like a flyer.

"What's that in your hands there buddy?" Sonic asked, leaning over the fox boy's shoulder.

Tails, with his mouth hung open, partly shook his head to clear the mist from the stupor he was in. "Sonic... you're... you're not gonna believe this foolishness...!"

The fox was dressed in blue jean shorts and a plain white t-shirt with no patterns on it. He was feeling ultra casual today suffice it to say. It didn't matter though, because today was probably going to be less boring than he had anticipated it might have been earlier. He held up the flyer for his blue friend to take a nice long look at.

The first thing one was certain to take notice of, before anyone even read what was on the page, was the big, round, burly Doctor Eggman with his Cheshire Cat grin and his hand pointed out to the focal point of the flyer, a giant wrestling ring. Immediately that made Sonic smile. However, when he read the words on it, he was positively beaming.

"Come one, come all. It's an extravagant event that you nor your brother, your sister, and whatever else counts as family will want to miss. It's Dr. Eggman's NON-Interstellar Wrestling Competition! Survival of the Weakest!"

Tails rolled his eyes with each word Sonic read. "Wanna go check it out?" He asked right before he realized that Sonic was gone. He turned and saw the blue hedgehog waving back at Tails.

"Do I want to? I'm already half way down the block!"

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"HOHOHOHO! Yes! Thank you! I'll take that! My pleasure! Remember, no refunds!" Dr. Eggman chuckled about as he stood in his black tuxedo, top-hat, and cane by the door, collecting the money of the people and animal-people of all ages that gladly paid the entry fee of $30 a person for a once in a life-time chance to see the participants Eggman promised for this event to fight. You would too if you knew what he had on this line-up.

Eggman leaned over to Orbot and Cubot who had two open money boxes filling up with cash at their stations as well before whispering them a line of concern.

"So have they all arrived yet?" Eggman asked.

"Yes." Orbot confirmed. "They're all in the stadium already. We're currently just waiting for-"

"EGGMAN!" Sonic's voice beamed as he and Tails stomped through the crowd.

"Eggman?" Cubot scratched his head. "Wait, YOU'RE fighting too Doc?"

Eggman slapped the yellow robot across the head, making him bobble for a bit. "Just count the money you moron."

The happy-go-lucky doctor fixed the tie around his neck and strutted on over to Sonic and Tails before the two could reach him first. With a cartoonish zip, he took his top-hat off and gave a polite bow. 

"Sonic. And the Baby Fox." Eggman exclaimed in his comical stance.

"My name is Tails." The young fox's eyes narrowed.

"No it's not. Anyway~ I'm glad the two of you could make it! It wouldn't be a show without the guests of honor now would it?" Eggman smirked as he put his hat back on and began twirling his cane. He was wearing one his all too famous troll-faces. One look at him and you could see the skeeviness of whatever he was doing here radiating some kind of sick aura from his body.

Sonic tapped his foot and Tails crossed his arms. The already disgruntled fox decided to speak up first.

"A wrestling competition? A little out of left field for you isn't it?" Tails began. "If you're charging an entry fee of one Chaos Emerald from us you can forget it this time."

"Wouldn't dream of it. I absolutely need the two of you here for this special occassion. Come! Come in~!" Eggman strutted behind the two of them and lightly pushed them forward. The two complied and began heading in. Eggman turned to Orbot and Cubot and muttered out a small little threat of "Not a penny goes unaccounted for!" before following them inside.

The stadium was huge! 

When Eggman goes big, he really goes BIG! 

The place was already filling up really fast too. It was almost baffling how quick this was considering Tails just found that flyer today while they were shopping. Than again, how could he have missed it with them plastered all over the place like that. It was almost as if it was a lure specifically made for the two of them...

... Tails sighed and slapped his forehead. Of course it was.

"THIS is my Wrestling Stadium Sonic. I made it our of the hardest, most potent reinforced steel I could muster up. The ring in the center is super wide, with a mat that's been custom made to be incredibly resilient to high strength attacks and battle damage." Eggman explained as they approached it. He crawled inside and stood in the center with Sonic and Tails following from behind. Everyone began cheering louder when they all saw the three of them.

Sonic took it upon himself to wave and Eggman hammed it up by ushering for more applause with his hands as though he were a wrestling heel himself. Tails merely put his fists to his side, pouting a bit. He didn't like this.

Sonic turned to Eggman and grinned. "So what's the rub? Why are we your guests of honor? Am I gonna have to wrestle a platoon of Eggman Robots? If so, you were right to make the ring so super sturdy. Robot parts are gonna be lining this thing."

"Ha! As if. I wouldn't waste my time televising and booking a crowd affair for the sake of brandishing my robots on just you," Eggman grinned, sliding the cane back and forth through his fingers. "Rather, I've decided to make use of you colorful cast of insignificant welps and let all of YOU duke it out amongst yourselves for the amusement of both me and my audience!" 

"WHAT?!" Both Sonic and Tails shouted with excess surprise.

The sound of someone tapping a microphone was suddenly heard, which caught the attention of both Sonic and Tails immediately. They turned towards the commentator's table that had been set up. Sitting at it was none other than the comical actor himself, Vector the Crocodile. By his side was the lover of death and destruction, the E-Series monstrosity, E-123 Omega.

"Hello Sonic. Hey Tails." Vector grinned. "Sweet gig this is. Eggy over there actually paid me a good amount of money to be the announcer for this shindig."

Omega slammed his fist onto the table he was sitting at. "It took a lot of robot crunching and persuading from Shadow to finally get me to allow this. Otherwise, I'd have put a bullet through Eggman's head and left. But I'm restraining myself on his behalf. He wishes to let this continue."

Sonic's smirk grew extra wide. "Good! Wouldn't have it any other way!"

Tails was shocked by that. He really shouldn't have been. This was Sonic after all, but surely he wasn't going to go along with this madness right?

"Sonic? A-Are you sure? He could be playing us!" Tails waved his hands about.

"Allow me to introduce your fellow contestants." Vector said as he grabbed the mike.

Tails began to fidget a bit but he crossed his arms with an interested expression on his face now, wanting to see who signed up for this.

"Unlike you two, I had to send out invites to these people to get them to come. I knew those flyers would be good enough for you since you always seem to be hot on my tail regardless of what I'm doing." Eggman said. Sonic could only grin with delight. He barely even cared about what Eggman was saying anymore.

"Our first competitor hails from Angel Island! He's hot in the head but cold with his fists. Give it up for KNUCKLES THE ECHIDNA!"

Out of the open area came the echidna in question, wearing a positively confident smirk on his face. He had on Emerald Green Speedos and matching Emerald Green boots to go with it. He crawled into the ring and stood in front of Sonic with a sneer.

"I got Eggman's invite and when I heard what it was about, I had to come. He promised you would be here." Knuckles said.

"Wow. The both of you know me so well." Sonic chuckled. Really. It was amazing that both Knux and Eggman knew that he wouldn't be able to pass this up. "But don't just fixate on me. There's more than just me you're gonna have to tangle with."

"Our next competitor has got quite the reputation. A super serious G.U.N agent with a heart of gray but a solid moral code. Give it up for SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG!"

Shadow came out next with his hands by his side and his eyes closed. He walked into the ring and leaned against the post, wearing white trunks and matching white boots. 

"I hope we end up going at it Sonic. I'm the reason that Omega is sitting over there calmly rather than tearing this place apart." Shadow suddenly looked up with a smile. Everyone was itching for a fight with SOMEBODY it seemed. Didn't seem to matter who it was right now.

"Sitting here and not killing Eggman is the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life." Omega snarled. 

Vector chuckled at that and continued. "Next up, one of MY boys. Super strong and with a swift ninja prowess. Here's ESPIO THE CHAMELEON!"

Espio walked out next. He was wearing yellow speedos and had on small matching shoes. Not boots. He swiftly walked in and stood with his arms crossed across from Shadow.

"Swift like the wind." Espio muttered.

"And along with him comes my other partner in crime-fighting." Vector smirked. "The hyperactive bee with the permanent sugar rush and an affinity for (failing at) pranking! CHARMY BEE!"

Out of the smoke, literally cartwheeled the hyperactive bee-boy. He whooped and hollered before jumping, spinning in the air, and landing on the post. He was wearing blue speedos and had on shoes to match with little thunderbolts on them. He did a double peace sign for the crowd and thrust himself up and down the rope like he was riding a horse. "WHOOOO~! KEEP THE PARTY ROLLING!"

He then jumped off of it and landed in front of Tails. "How's it going buddy."

Tails couldn't help but giggle. "You look silly."

"Haha. Laugh all you want. But this bee is here to win~! I remember losing to you at the daycare center but not again!" Charmy pointed at the fox.

Tails smiled. "Oh? That sounds like it could be fun to re-do."

"Super cute and super polite, she entered for the sake of a nice bout of friendly competition, give it up for CREAM THE RABBIT!"

Cream came out waving at the crowd in a dark blue wrestling singlet. Charmy immediately jolted and looked over at her with his eyes bugged out.

"C-C-C-CREAM?! What?! WHY!?" Charmy asked, astonished. Tails sweatdropped a bit.

"I came as a favor to Amy. Just in case it was a tag-team thing." Cream said as she climbed in.

"It wasn't." Eggman confirmed. "That was on the flyer."

"Wait. Did you say-?!" Sonic panicked.

"AMY ROSE!" Vector shouted. "The proud girl of hammer pounding action, the one who fights for the burning love and passion!" 

Amy came out in a red wrestling bikini top and bottom, twirling her hammer around as she entered the ring and gleamed her eyes at Sonic.

"Hello there lover boy~!" Amy winked.

"Oh come on..." Sonic muttered. Even in his chance to spar with rivals, Amy had to show up and muddle the water with her...Amyness.

"Hailing from the future, but taking a LONG vacation in the past... which doesn't sound smart but hey what do I know... SILVER THE HEDGEHOG!"

Silver came out with his fists jetting up at the ceiling. "Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Whooooo~! Oh man! I'm SO pumped! I can't WAIT!" He was wearing purple speedos with a nice picture of a burning FIST on the front of it. He got into the ring and waved. "Hey gang!"

"Silver. Well, can't say I'm surprised much. You really like hanging out in the past don't you..." Sonic sighed.

"What? It's just a wrestling competition. It's not gonna change the future THAT much..." Silver pouted. "Besides, my future keeps getting screwed up anyway. Might as well have so fun here when time wasn't so hard to maintain."

"And our LAST competitor hails from the center of the Earth~!" Vector read aloud. Everyone stopped and tilted their heads in confusion... except Eggman. He knew who it was already. "Give it up for the LIGHT of our GAIA... CHIP!"

With a loud boom, the little purple creature zipped from the smoke and flew hard into Sonic with a hard hug. "SONIC! HOW'S IT GOIN~!"

"CHIP!?" Sonic was shocked. "But wha... but how...?!"

"Hehe~!" Chip looked up at Sonic. "I don't get a chance to come out very often but I'm making attempts to. Ever since Eggman's premature wake up call I've been finding it easier and easier to pay the world above a quick visit... I mean, I can't stay TOO long but this just seemed like too much fun! I didn't want to miss out!"

Eggman laughed. "I want back to the spot where I first fired the beam and called out to him as a joke. I seriously didn't think he'd answer... but whatever. Those are all our contestants! 10 People! We'll be doing this in a Single Brackett style so there's a chance we'll have to have a 3-sided match or something else to mitigate that... but we'll cross that road when we get to it."

Eggman strutted in front of them and sneered. "Oh but it looks like you guys came here expecting to fight for a long time eh? Well sorry to burst your bubble but there's a reason this competition is called Survival of the Weakest!"

All the contestants looked at Eggman with curious eyes. 

"The ones who'll be advancing to the next round of each fight... well be whoever LOSES the matches!" Eggman announced.

"WHAT?!" They all exclaimed.

"Should have known. With a title as weird as Survival of the Weakest how could I have not guessed?" Espio sighed.

"So I'll only get to fight once? Blegh." Charmy chuckled. "Oh well. I'll make it a good fight for the poor sucker who has to go against me."

"Oh it's not just a fight." Eggman smirked even more and snapped his fingers. Robots began wheeling out several carts of items. When the crew saw the items their heads just about spun. 

Baby items?! Baby diapers? Baby Powder? Bottles? Laxatives? Diuretics? 

Not just that but weird stuff like electric pokers, live crabs, hammers, chairs, jars of fire ants, spanking paddles, large window panes...

What was all this? Were they fighting with those?

Eggman provided them all with the answer, super quick. 

"THESE are all items you can use in your fights. Each fight that happens cannot end until your opponent is unconscious or unable to move. Then they'll suffer a penalty. The penalty can be using the baby stuff or maybe you just wanna give them a wedgie or something. Each round you've gotta make it worse though. No holding back!" Eggman snapped.

"Alright. This is nuts. No way." Tails said, getting the attention of all the others. The fox looked back and forth between them all. "...Seriously guys? You still wanna go through with this?! This is crazy! This is Eggman! He's up to something! He's gonna destroy the city or something by the end of this! Use as his puppets to do it!"

"If he does we'll just stop him." Sonic grinned, sparkles in his eyes. His raging fight boner wasn't subsiding at all it looked like. 

"Haha. You seem a little shook. Are you scared?" Charmy asked.

"What?! No!" Tails blushed. It got quiet for an uncomfortable second before the fox blurted out "I'M NOT SCARED!"

"It's okay if the tournament is too much for you. You can go home sucking on one of these if you'd like." Eggman said, grabbing a pacifier from inbetween the ropes from one of the carts and shoving it into the confused fox's mouth.

Tails suckled on it once... than twice... THAN spat it out!

He snarled and blushed with his teeth gritted, clenching his fists together as the audience began chuckling at him.

"ALRIGHT FINE! You want me to fight! I'll give ya a fight!" Tails pumped his fists up and screamed. "LET'S DO THIS!"

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"Finally ready to make their debuts, it's the speedster with the heroic stature and the charisma of action star. SONIC THE HEDGEHOG!"

Sonic came out in his wrestling outfit after having gone back to change. He was wearing a white speedo and had on some matching boots to go with it. The ones he wore sparkled to, so you know it's a big deal.

"I'm SO ready!"

And finally, the nerd with the twin-tails. The young techno terror with the cute exterior but determined fortitude. MILES. TAILS. PROWER!

And out came Tails! He wore a light-blue speedo with matching boots. The fox cheered with both fists in the air before turning around and smacking his butt. It had a nice golden star right on the rump of his speedos. 

"Eat it! I'm taking whoever I go up against out and watching the rest of you get humiliated!" Tails made faces and blew raspberries.

It didn't take long for him to get into it at all now did it.

"Alright. If you're all done showboating, I'd like to start the first match." Eggman said.

"Way ahead of ya." A call from the other side of ring came out. The super sultry, Rouge the Bat sat on the post with a large whiteboard in her hands. "It took a while but I drew out the competitor match-ups."

Round 1: Tails vs. Chip

Round 2: Sonic vs. Shadow

Round 3: Charmy vs. Knuckles

Round 4: Amy vs. Cream

Round 5: Silver vs. Espio

"Right off the bat huh? Looks like I'll be getting to watch the rest of the guys humiliate themselves in comfort." Tails chuckled.

"Oh man! I'm excited." Chip exclaimed.

"Me and Shadow at the start eh?" Sonic chuckled. Shadow smiled too.

"So sorry Knuckles. Too bad." Charmy pointed at the echidna. Knuckles merely rolled his eyes.

"Oh no Ms. Amy! I came to be your emergency back-up, but now we're fighting!" Cream exclaimed.

"No problem Cream. Just do your best and I'll do mine." Amy chuckled.

"I wonder what they're gonna do when we get an odd number of people left..." Silver asked.

"He probably has an idea for that and doesn't want to say. It's probably something wickedly unfair though..." Espio muttered.

With that, Tails and Chip climbed into the ring and stood across from one another.

"Heh. Feeling lucky?" Tails asked.

"Always. You've gotten a lot more lively than you were before. I'm happy for you." Chip grinned.

Tails laughed. "Okay. Sure."

Rouge went over and rung the bell. Vector grabbed the mike.

"Alright. Remember, if you win, you're out of the tournament. Only the losers move on to face continued humiliation and embarrassment. Round 1 of Survival of the Weakest starts now~!"

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Who should lose and continue to get humiliated in the tournament?