Psycher Chronicles: Chapter 38 Mourning (Patreon)

Chapter 38

Mourning

(Amoni Jacobs)

Thunderclap.

The fact that it rained on the day of Jacob’s funeral was almost too cliché. It wasn’t until Amoni realized how odd a thunderstorm in November was that Amoni began to truly realize what was happening.

Amoni’s awareness of the oddity started slowly.

“Looks like rain.” Bruce Jacobs, Amoni’s father spoke idly to himself as they all prepared to get ready for today.

Of course, Bruce would know the weather, he was a shaman after all. Part mystical, part practical, and always making sure to perform prevarication to its optimal standards.

Prevarication, that was the true meaning of what it actually meant to be a shaman. To speak without ever giving out your true thoughts on a subject, once Amoni could do that, then supposedly she would be ready for the role of being a shaman.

Yet, Amoni couldn’t lie. First, she had an expressive face and eyes. Her eyes told almost exactly how she felt at any time about anyone or any given subject. She knew this about herself, and yet was unable to hide her thoughts fully from others. That was part of the rift between her and Jerome, at least at the end.

Torrential downpour.

Tears began to come to Amoni, and for the moment she was happy that she had the rain to mask her tears. She didn’t want to appear weak, not in front of the pack, and definitely not in front of the current and possible future Alpha of the pack.

Secretly she had been hoping for rain. In her mind she had wanted the world to look and feel as miserable outside as she did inside.

When she awoke today, the day that they finally were putting Jerome into the ground, she felt the storm coming.

***

“No clouds, that’s a good sign.” Iris, Amoni’s mother began.

Amoni remembered coming down the stairs and seeing her mother and father discussing the day down in the kitchen.

Bruce began to nod his head looking outside, but then something about him changed as he stared at Amoni.

“Nope. I’d say it looks like rain today. In fact, I do believe today will call for excessive rain. We should bring umbrellas.” Bruce said to Iris, while never taking his eyes away from Amoni.

***

Remembering that moment now, Amoni wondered why her father had seemed so confident that it would in fact storm today.

Granted it was what Amoni herself wanted, but how had her father been able to predict the rain.

Downpour.

The rain was so intense that it almost seemed to drown out all background noises. This too was a plus as it meant that Amoni didn’t have to try to strain her werewolf hearing to listen in on the different conversations. She didn’t have to take the moment to see how the pack was going, where people were pretending to place their confidences on who should be the next Alpha. Instead, Amoni could just stand here and wait for the moment to pass.

That was the thing Amoni had noticed. If moments were too much to deal with all at once, all you had to do was wait it out.

Things get too stressful from your no good cousin crashing his van, then stealing your car. A car you clearly traded, then crashing said car into a cop car. Only to die while out on bond while you are alone and left to the personal custody of your parents in quite possibly the oddest of deaths imaginable, death by broken microwave. Then to have to come out on a chilly autumn day, waiting in the rain to pay your respects to someone who in the last few months of their lives did everything they could to ruin any respect you had for them.

Thunderclap!

The deeper Amoni got into her thoughts, the stronger the storm seemed to get. Strangely enough, Amoni was the only one who did not flinch at the sudden discharge of lightning overhead.

“I think we will call that for the sermon.” The pastor said, and then quickly made his way out from under the canopy that had been established for the final moments of mourning Jerome.

Amoni herself just stood outside in the rain. Oddly enough, despite how cold the rain was, it seemed to feel good against her skin. The way the droplets fell and pooled around her. She could feel energy with each drop of rainwater that fell onto her skin. Almost as if the electricity of the clouds above left some of its lingering energy on the droplets of rainwater that fell and finally rested on Amoni’s body.

Amoni wasn’t the only one who turned out for the funeral. Given how small the community was, or at least tried to be, it seemed like everyone showed up. All the kids from the basketball teams, boys and girls, the football players, and even a few baseball players all showed up to pay their respects to their fallen classmate.

Alishia was here, under the canopy and surrounded by a gaggle of male suitors all who were already striving to take on the position as next pack Alpha. Looking at the power play going on, Amoni couldn’t help but feel even more anger rising up, as she saw the dynamics that were working.

Alishia sat under the canopy, which as the last girlfriend and Alpha female of the pack, she had earned. Now that Jerome the only person with more pull over the pack than Alishia was gone, it was clear that anyone who managed to become her partner would invariably be considered the next male Alpha by default. Thus, everyone tried their best to get not only a seat next to Alishia, but around her as well.

Chief among those around her was none other than Rodger, the guy Alishia cheated on Jerome with. A guy who was little more than a bootlicker in Amoni’s eyes, but that was just her opinion.

But now with the threat of lightning even Alishia and her entourage already got up to leave, going past Amoni on their way out to their cars and to the protection said vehicles provided.

Amoni watched them go, never going under the tent as she was still angry with Jerome. No, she realized that she was angry with herself for never making peace with Jerome before he died. They died with tension, her last words to him were not too pleasant, particularly after he destroyed two vehicles. In fact, thanks to her mocking texts she had even been blocked from his number.

Remembering all these small details, Amoni realized that she would never be able to apologize for anything she said or did. Worse, he would never be able to apologize back. It was almost like he would now be able to go to his grave knowing that he didn’t have to even apologize for anything he did.

Crackle.

The deeper Amoni got lost into her thoughts, the harder the storm began to roar its discontent with the world. Yet, to Amoni the storm was a welcome reprieve and distraction to the melancholy that was now befalling her.

By now everyone had left, even the grandparents were gone, as they were among the first to be ushered out by Abraham and Bruce both.

This was how Amoni found herself standing alone in the rain.

Firm hand.

Just as Amoni was getting lost in her own thoughts, she felt a firm hand grasp her shoulder.

“Calm down,” Bruce, her father, whispered into her ears. By his expression, it was clear that he had taken grandma to safety and then come back for her.

“I, I am.” Amoni began to say, but as she turned to face Bruce she saw something in his eyes. There was a faint blue glow of power in those eyes. Staring, Amoni felt her concentration break, as something deep in the back of her mind seemed to snap. Then just as quickly as the storm clouds seemed to arrive, they began breaking up.

Rumble.

The storm gave one last meek discharge of its remaining energy. The flash was weak in comparison to what had happened, and seemed to only go from one cloud to another, not fulling coming down and touching the ground as the others had.

Drizzle.

With that, the torrential downpour that had been going nonstop moments ago began to slow to a drizzle, before slowly tapering off in a matter of minutes.

Amoni paused, realizing everything that was happening with the storm. Somehow feeling the fact that now that her concentration was severed, now that the string of mental thoughts that had been tethering her to something far greater than before was gone, the storm that had been a welcome reprieve for Amoni also began to break up.

At first Amoni wanted to say something. Seeing the look in her father’s eyes it was clear that he suspected Amoni had something to do with the storm. At first Amoni wanted to protest, to state that there was no way she could have controlled the storm. But now that it was over and now that she no longer felt invigorated by the constant downpour, Amoni suddenly felt drained.

Sunshine.

A ray of light burst through the clouds and seemed to shine brightly on Amoni and her father.

Once the ray of light began to shine, Bruce gave a simple nod of his head. Then lowering his umbrella, continued to stare at Amoni.

There were unspoken words in that stare. A stare that spoke both volumes, and offered countless insights, if Amoni could but reach out and recognize them.

Amoni paused, trying to comprehend what was being said through subtext. What was the idea that Bruce was now trying to convey to her. Judging by the thinly veiled smile, all but wishing to break out from his stoic face, Amoni knew it was something good. Either a good joke, or something that would make him immensely proud. Seeing as this was a funeral for his nephew, this was clearly not the moment for a joke. Which meant that this was something that would make him proud, but what?

Then suddenly tiny details of the day came back to her. The way Bruce knew for a fact that it would be rain. After that was the fact that the rain seemed to cause everyone else to feel cold but managed to make Amoni feel alive inside. Even stranger was the way the storm seemed to break the moment her concentration broke. How she felt immediately weak and tired after Bruce awoke her from her thoughts.

Now there was the fact that with the rain stopping, Amoni was glad that the sun began to shine. At this last realization, Amoni realized that she felt something. Staring back into her father’s eyes that still seemed to glow blue, Amoni paused and asked. “Did I?”

Nodding.

Bruce just nodded his head, as a proud smile finally crested his lips. This moment, right here, where her father smiled brightly at her, this made the whole terrible day worth it for her.

Then trembling, Amoni began to pause as she realized exactly what this all meant.

“Wait, that means that I…” Amoni trailed off not wanting to say anything. Even to herself the words sounded farfetched.

Nodding.

“Yes.” Bruce said, still not talking and letting Amoni come to the conclusion on her own. A conclusion that was both obvious and frightening all at the same time.

Relief, fear, exhilaration.

Many emotions flooded through Amoni all at once as her mind tried to process everything that had happened and was happening to her.

“I, I awoke?” Amoni asked.

“You have always been awake. You have just now learned to accept yourself and your position. Now you can finally see your place in the pack.” Bruce began, letting the words sink in. “This is good as the new pack will need you more than ever before.”

With that Amoni’s mind began to spin with new concepts and ideas. She had always been awakened, but she just now learned to accept her position in the pack? That sounded probable, but also not, as she had never felt this way before. At least not until recently, not until meeting her.

Then almost as if summoned by the thought, Amoni saw a flash of red out of the corner of her eye. Turning Amoni saw a tall pale skinned girl with bright red hair wearing a drenched black dress just staring down at a tombstone.

In her mind, she realized that the girl was either here mourning, or had joined in the burial of Jerome and then broken away to this other grave marker. In her mind, she knew exactly who the person was, as it was the person she had just been thinking about.

“Ah, yes. I was meaning to ask you about her.” Bruce began, staring over at the red haired beauty that looked tragically beautiful in setting and regalia. “She is on your basketball team right?”

“Yes.” Amoni began.

There was clearly a question that was waiting to be asked. And while Amoni felt she was ready to handle most questions, she did not see the question that came next coming. Not in a hundred years.

“What are your thoughts on her joining the pack?”