Psycher Chronicles: Chapter 17 Putting the Ass into Assimilation (Patreon)

Chapter 17

Putting the Ass into Assimilation

(Julie)

VROOOMMMMM!

The fully restored 1995 Ford Mustang GT roared to life, every ounce of its V8 engine on full acoustic display for everyone to hear. With the wide-open fields leading from the barn that had long since been modified into a mechanical repair shop that Phil and Julie could work on vehicles together.

Over the course of the summer, Julie had become very accustomed to hearing the purring growl of the vehicle sparking to life each morning, well before even Phil would dare to get up.

“No, you don’t!” Phil shouted, as he was up with a bolt as he went from being deeply asleep to instantly awake in less than a second.

Julie who had expected something like this to happen just sighed as she got up, put on her slippers and tried to cut off Phil from making an ass out of himself. Well, more of one than he already seemed hell bent on becoming.

“Stop it, you are not taking that to school!” Phil’s voice could be heard shouting from off in the distance.

Fresh coffee smell.

As Julie made her way down, she instantly perked up as her senses took in the sweet aroma of freshly brewed coffee.

Looking towards the source, Julie was delighted to find not one but two cups of coffee pre-made, along with notes underneath each.

“That girl is too good for us.” Julie said, grabbing her coffee mug and preparing to go outside with it. For a moment, she thought about grabbing Phil’s coffee, especially before it went cold.

“I said, stop that engine now!” Phil shouted.

Then hearing him go on, Julie ultimately decided to leave his here, as she assumed he was already worked up enough to cover any cold coffee.

Hot fragrant steam.

The instant she walked outside, the steam of her coffee came wafting upwards. It was an unusually cold morning. Moving carefully so as not to spill her coffee, Julie made her way to the two. There was the stoic as ever Misha who was just staring down her grandfather, and Phil who looked irate that Misha would dare take her car to school.

“Get out of my car now!” Phil said.

Misha just stared at him, her eyes showing so much discontent that even her mother could take lessons.

“Come on, that car is too much for your first day of school. Someone is bound to steal it.” Phil said, a bit calmer.

“It’s got anti-theft devices already installed.” Misha responded.

“Oh yeah, and what pray tell are those anti-theft devices?”

“Manual transmission.” Misha responded flatly.

Chuckle.

At that Julie couldn’t help but laugh at the girl’s deadpan sense of humor and delivery.

By this point Julie was apparently close enough, as Phil heard her laugh and turned towards the still approaching Julie.

“Don’t encourage her.”

“But she does have a point Phil, even if they do break in, how many kids her age do you think will be able to drive off with that vehicle?” Julie asked.

Silence.

It was clear that Phil was looking to make an argument of some kind, which was why Julie went ahead with the next stage of her comment. “Besides didn’t you say that this would be Misha’s car if she could pull it from the ashes and get it to work properly?”

At that Phil finally looked chagrined.

“I did, but that was before I thought she could actually fix it.” Phil replied.

“So, she proved to be so industrious that she took on an impossible task by herself and completed it,” at this point Julie gave a quick overly dramatic look at the vehicle, “perfectly, and you now what? You want to take back your word?”

“But it’s an antique.” Phil responded with a non sequitur, clearly harping on the idea of a teenage girl driving a restored vehicle to school.

“Wouldn’t that just give your shop more credit, as you can clearly use it to restore classic vehicles.” Julie said, gesturing to the recently modified barn that had been converted into a makeshift mechanic garage that the two could spend hours working together in.

Slurp.

At this point, Julie decided that her coffee had long enough to cool down, as such she pulled it up and took a loud slurp.

“You had time to make coffee?” Phil asked.

With that Julie just shook her head slightly. “My amazing granddaughter did, before her first day of school.”

Hearing that Phil turned to Misha, and looked at her as if she had somehow sinned against him.

“You didn’t make one for me?” Phil asked, pain clear in his voice.

At that Julie once again had to step in and set the matter straight.

“She did, it was on the table on the way out the back door. Had you been in anything less than a blind rage, you would have seen your coffee mug and a personal note addressed to you.” Julie said.

“A note? What does it say?” Phil asked.

“I don’t know, I didn’t have enough time to read it seeing as I had to stop my idiot husband from looking like a fool.” Julie replied.

With that, Phil visibly deflated as he realized he was likely going to lose this battle of wills. Particularly as Misha had already bribed grandma to help with fresh coffee and a morning note.

“Fine, it’s just so hard to see both my girls leaving at the same time.” Phil finally said, “can I get a hug before you go?”

Hearing that Misha rolled her eyes, “fine, but this is taking longer than I expected.”

“You planned for this?” Phil asked.

“For you to make a fool of yourself, no you did that on your own. I just calculated what was the easiest way to defuse this situation.” Misha said, speaking more to him than she would to anyone.

Hearing her talk to the old man, Julie couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy at that. As it was clear that the two really did have a special bond with each other. An odd and probably borderline dysfunctional bond, but a bond, nonetheless.

“Fine well let me get a goodbye hug real quick.” Phil said.

“Fine.” Misha said, her reply tight as she opened up the door to make this a little easier.

Phil on the other hand went around the door and hugged the fully restored Mustang GT. “I’ll miss you, take good care of my granddaughter.”

“Oh my god.” Misha said, slamming her door shut as she saw the smirk filling Phil’s face.

Slam.

“Are you done?” Misha asked after seeing that Phil was still draped over her car.

“No, but I guess I will have to carry on regardless.” Phil said, his voice dripping with melodramatic tension.

At that Julie just shook her head and let a faint smile come to her lips, seeing the way Phil interacted with his granddaughter was endearing. That was the man Julie had originally fallen in love with, a man who changed drastically to meet the harsh life of a farmer. And now had only two hobbies, fixing cars, and trying to spend as much time with his granddaughter as possible.

“Goodbye my sweet.” Phil said, patting the top canvas cover of the convertible before stepping away.

Rumble.

With Phil finally away from the vehicle Misha put it into gear and then began rolling away.

“Don’t tell my wife,” Phil said, waving goodbye to his car.

Julie just rolled her eyes, then told him her feelings, “you are mush.”

“Thanks grandma.” Misha said, rolling up next to Julie and stopping her progress for a moment.

“Thank you for the coffee.” Julie replied, implying that she knew exactly what the coffee was for. Again, the depths that this girl could see problems before they started and try to correct them was astounding. “When are you going to be back?”

“Probably late. Today is the first day of tryouts.” Misha added.

“Okay, well, I’ll see you when you get back.” Julie said.

“Bye.” Misha said, as she rolled out slowly over the long gravel driveway. Her car was rumbling like rolling thunder through the morning air.

“I can’t believe I lost both my children at the same time.” Phil said, coming over and watching as Misha slowly rolled down the road.

“Those aren’t your children. Your child is still inside getting ready to help file your taxes and help you prepare for your new business venture.” Julie chided the old man.

“I know, but I messed up a lot with her. With Misha and Diane.” Phil said, clearly calling the restored vehicle after one of the list vehicles in Gone in 60 seconds.

“Diane, wasn’t that the Ferrari?” Julie asked.

“It was the Ferrari, but I didn’t want to name the vehicle Eleanor, and that was also the 1995 Ferrari, so I went with that.” Phil said, explaining his convoluted logic.

Shaking her head.

“Did Misha agree to this name?” Julie asked, thinking that this clearly had the makings of something Misha was not a part of.

“Why should she get a vote in what I call my kids?” Phil responded.

Eye roll and shaking the head.

“She really has you wrapped around her finger if you are thinking like this.” Julie said.

“What do you mean me wrapped around her finger, Ms. I’ll come out here to protect her for a cup of coffee.” Phile shot back.

At that Julie just shrugged and drank a nice warm sip of her still warm coffee. “What I can I say, I never said I wasn’t wrapped around her little finger.”

At that Phil looked like he was about to protest, which was when Julie quickly changed the subject and made it so she could spend the rest of her morning cup of coffee in peace.

“Besides, isn’t your cup of coffee getting cold?”

Loud slurp.

“Oh, right.” Phil shouted as he ran off towards the kitchen where his cup of coffee was waiting for him.

With that, Julie watched her granddaughter get to the end of their long driveway and wait for a second before turning left towards the school.

Realizing that Julie got to spend the last few seconds of this morning view in peace, thanks to her crafty thinking, Julie smiled to herself, as she realized where Misha might have gotten her diabolical streak of planning ahead from.

“She is my daughter too,” Julie claimed to no one in particular, before finishing up her coffee and heading inside herself.

***

(Misha)

The primitive technological machine purred to life, effortlessly gliding along the back roads that would eventually lead to the local high school.

Senior year.

The thought came to her, as she got closer to the school. Honestly Misha had more than enough credits to graduate, having taken and passed every state required test.

No, this year was about building a resume for sports and activities, which should help her not only get into prestigious schools, but also get much needed scholarships to said schools.

Logically the career path that made the most sense to pursue was the Mechanical Engineering degree path, but that would be the equivalent of telling a master painter like Michelangelo to get a degree in drawing with crayons. The entire thing seemed not only beneath her, but she often felt that she would have to hold back or feign innocence as to knowing certain key fundamental truths to reality that had not been fully conceptualized here.

That is why instead of going the engineering route, she decided to go into the realm of cybersecurity, at least it seemed easy on paper. Though she did have plenty of time to go and make a final career path choice later on.

For now, her first goal was to fit in.

Vroom.

Misha downshifted easily to force her car into slowing down as she entered the school parking lot. Yet, as soon as she entered the parking lot, there was the faintest scent of musk in the air.

At which point her organo-tech heightened senses began picking up the barest hint of something.

Fortunately, her embedded coding told her what she had instinctively identified on her own.

Warrior Class Members Genetic Materials Identified.

With that message, Misha felt that she was onto something, as she drove around the parking lot with her windows down letting more of the different scents fill her car.

Finally, she got close enough to the vehicle, or rather vehicles in question to trigger the next response message.

Tier 1 Warrior Class member identified – below threshold standards.

Tier 1 Warrior Class member identified – below threshold standards.

Tier 1 Warrior Class member identified – below threshold standards.

Tier 1 Warrior Class member identified – below threshold standards.

Tier 1 Warrior Class member identified – meets minimum threshold standards.

Tier 1 Warrior Class member identified – meets minimum threshold standards.

Tier 2 Warrior Class member identified – meets minimum threshold standards.

Seven warrior class members, who apparently traveled in two different vehicles.

Reaper standards possible.

Seeing that message, Misha was curious as to what exactly her Alternate-1 template had in mind for her. For now, she figured she would first try to identify who these seven individuals were, and then what exactly the Reaper system was capable of.

She also realized that she needed to be cautious, as she had grown to appreciate the cover that she had developed over the years. While she still mentally knew and saw herself as a Psycher, life on this backward planet was not entirely terrible.

Additionally, she had the idea of being somehow able to replicate the coding and abilities of the Altnerate-1 genetic templates to see if she could create a Psycher variant that was capable of much the same processes. The ability to identify other Bakshee would be invaluable, which is what her class seemed to be able to do.

Realizing she was glad for even more reasons for coming to school she rolled up her windows, found a parking spot and then made her way to school, this was going to be an interesting year.

***

(James Rider)

James wondered idly in the halls, he was the stereotypical kid with dark hair and glasses that strangely found that he didn’t belong to any true group in the school. This fact never truly bothered him, as he often managed to avoid most of the factions that formed. Instead, he made himself out to be a very neutral mechanical group.

Your computer didn’t work, bring it to him. You watch wouldn’t sync with the cloud storage, bring it to him. Basically, he had managed to make it so he was simultaneously respected by each of the different groups of friends, while not truly being part of any himself.

The only group that James could not seem to gain a firm foothold in was the jocks. Namely because they rarely if ever used electronics, and even when they did the electronics were mostly just digital media players so they could stay laser focused during practices.

“Hey James.” Darcy Smolders said, greeting James with her typical exuberant nature.

James really liked Darcy, he truly did. In an alternate world without numerous statistical data points proving the contrary, Darcy and James might even have dated.

The reason why they never dated was not on a lack of trying, at least not for Darcy’s part. Rather it was James’ stubborn attention to statistics and probability that told him that relationships between highschoolers never lasted. At most they would last five years into college at which point they would invariably fail due to one issue or another.

Knowing all of that, James had always turned down Darcy’s advances. Not that she made many, but she did make enough to let James know that she would be more than willing to, if he but gave her a chance.

“Hey Darcy, how are you?” James asked cordially, still making sure to keep his trusted friend zone open and clear.

“Oh, you know, pretty good.” Darcy said, with the faintest hint of barely constrained glee to her voice.

“What are you doing?” James asked.

“Why whatever do you mean?” Darcy asked, a hint of faux shock on her face.

Seeing her like that, James realized he had missed the mark. So, she wasn’t doing something, which meant, “what do you know?”

“Oh, nothing much, but I heard we will get a new student in our Computer Science class.” Darcy said.

Hearing that James decided to press for more details, as this seemed to be too much action for just a possible new friend to make. “So?”

“Well, she is a girl, and I just wanted you to know that as friends, I saw her first, so I call dibs.” Darcy said.

Hearing that, James just looked at her, knowing full well that he had expressed his feelings on dating while in high school.

“Okay.” James said, a note of apathy filling his voice.

“Swear it.”

“Swear what?”

“That you will give me dibs and not be jealous.” Darcy said.

“Okay, I swear on our everlasting friendship that you will have dibs with this new student and I will not do anything to stop you from pursuing her.” James said, holding up his hand in a poor imitation of swearing a promise.

“Good.” Darcy said bubbly, as she seemed to wiggle in excitement.

Seeing her, James couldn’t help but ask the obvious question, “I thought you didn’t like women as much.”

“It’s about a ninety ten split, but since she is clearly a ten, I will take it.” Darcy said.

“Okay.”

“You don’t know what you are missing.” Darcy said.

“Clearly I don’t as I have never seen her before.” James answered honestly.

“Clearly, otherwise you would have strenuously objected to my dibs.” Darcy spit back.

With that James realized that it was two minutes until class, and Darcy was supposed to be in English, which was at the far end of the building.

“Aren’t you going to be late?”

“Probably but it is worth it. Again, tall red head, glowing green eyes, she is mine, you promised.” Darcy said, then quickly kissed the tips of her right hand, before smacking them on James’ forehead. “See you in Computer Science.”

With that, Darcy began bouncing bubbly away, causing James to shake his head. As he didn’t know if Darcy actually had a thing for this girl, or was using her to cause jealousy within James, or if she just wanted to stir up trouble because she was bored. Regardless, he was now interested in seeing this new girl that was now twice off limits, once due to James’ own personal rules of not dating in high school, and due to his deep seeded friendship with Darcy.

Little did he know, that he would quickly come to regret his sacred promise.