80. Alive I (Patreon)

Alatea was more than capable to heal all the damage my body had sustained over the last days, and far more competently than me. The Regenerate spell was powerful, but at the end of the day, it was a half-assed solution compared to the hand of a knowledgeable healer.

Starting next week, I would be relocated to Lan’el to work as a soldier, but so far no one had told me anything about when or how I would move my things there. Not that I had many items to my name, to begin with. And considering there were still a few more workdays before I had to move out of the academy, I decided to attend classes as normal.

“So what was the thing from yesterday?” A curious Adrian asked me.

Classes had already ended and the whole group and I were having lunch in one of the plentiful cafeterias on the academy campus. They pestered me before in class, trying to extract information from me, but I kept my mouth shut. This kind of conversation needed to be in a more private place. Not in a classroom.

“What I already told you. I went to meet the Ceaseless Storm.” I responded.

“I know that!” Adrian shouted. “What I’m asking is how and why the Ceaseless Storm had even contacted ya’!”

“It’s quite the story,” I said.

“Then tell it, man!” Adrian's exasperation escaped from his soul.

I ignored the swordsman and looked at Marissa. Even if she looked well and healthy, there was some darkness in her eyes. I knew she still hadn’t coped with her death experience. I hadn’t had the time to talk to her about it. I had to at some point.

“I don’t think I will.” I took a sip of my berry juice.

“Tell me!” Adrian grabbed my shoulders and thrashed me back and forth.

He wasn’t being serious, because considering his strength, I didn’t doubt he could lift me with a single arm. Ellari were quite light and Adrian was quite strong, this tantrum of his was nothing but playful.

“Alright.” I gave in. 

Though I wouldn’t give them the full facts. Monica and he would be better left in dark for their own safety, though I guess I should clue Marissa in at some point. I owed her that much.

“In very short terms, I had some business with the Arcane Veil.” I started. “And because of their close relationship, the Ceaseless Storm ended up getting involved. It doesn’t get much more complicated.” It did.

“That’s it?” Adrian tilted his head to the side and I replied with a nod. “Come on, tell us the full details! You don’t get involved with an eleven-star electromancer by chance!”

“Well, I have gotten involved with two eleven-star healers by chance, so who’s to say it won’t happen one more time?”

“Stop it, Adrian.” Monica intervened. “If Edrie doesn’t want to explain it, then don’t force him. I’m sure he's got his reasons for doing so.”

“Thanks, Monica,” I told her. “Always the voice of logic.”

Our conversation had died out in the end, but what I didn’t like was how Marissa hadn’t talked at any point. It was only when we were already finished eating that I spoke up once more.

“I have one thing to tell you guys.” The three looked at me. “I’m moving out of the academy and going to Lan’el to become a soldier.”

“Wha-“ Adrian tried to talk but Monica gave him a hard look.

“That’s so sudden.” She said herself. “And you aren’t much of a fighter type either. It’s alright if you don’t explain it to us, but we would appreciate it if you could clue us in on such a drastic decision.”

I smiled at her. Monica knew how to put things into words and read the room. Even if she was dying to know why I was doing this.

But before I could say anything, Marissa suddenly got up and rushed outside the cafeteria. It happened so fast for me to even register as she used her movement speed to dash out, but my eyes didn’t fail me when I saw the small hints of water coming from her eyes.

**********

She knew it was undeserved. She knew she was being childish. She knew the reason behind it. But even then…

It still hurt.

Everything was happening too fast, and she was not able to keep up. In a matter of days, her life had been turned upside down when she had lived peacefully for decades of her life.

She looked at her surroundings, not recognizing where she was. She run away without minding the direction she was going. She just wanted to run from it all. 

The air stopped cycling around her as she sat down. She lay her back on the white trunk of a tree as she gazed up to the sky. Today it looked bluer than violet.

Slowly, she dried her tears with the end of her tunic’s sleeve.

It was uncalled for, but it ached, nonetheless.

Mana surrounded her in a vortex, the breeze accumulating like a storm around her. Thinking was painful. Feeling… even more.

But when she shut her eyes, strongly enough to make some damage, she suddenly felt calm. A mystical sensation of soothing.

She opened her eyes. The bright light of the sun blinded her briefly.

At her right, someone had sat.

The man didn’t say anything, though his lavender haze comforted her.

Her eyes began to water up again. She moved her head away.

“I’m sorry.” The man finally said. “I should have known the news would affect you. I should have been more careful.”

She looked at the man. He was looking back at her. His lavender irises collided with her own blue. Yet it wasn’t a violent crash, but a shallow caress.

“It’s okay to feel like you do.” He spoke calmly. “You have just been to hell and back. You are already pushing yourself by trying to go back to normalcy this soon.”

Her throat burned.

“You don’t have to worry about the soldier ordeal, it will be over soon.”

As the man’s words entered her ears, she couldn’t help the pain in her heart. It all felt wrong. Fleeting. Ethereal.

“…don’t leave me.” She said in a subtle whisper.

“Oh, Marissa.” The man embraced her. “This is all my fault; I should have given more attention to you.” He patted her head in a constant rhythm, his violet fingers interlocking with her strands of icy blue hair. “I’m not going to leave you. I’m still going to be around.”

Even when she knew his words were true, her very being refused to believe it. As it refused to believe it was alive. More tears flowed down her face.

“Don’t leave me.” She repeated. A reflex. An instinct.

After coming back to life, reality itself felt fleeting, as if it all were a dream, a hallucination, and she was still dead. Still in that river. She felt infinitely small upon the sheer size of death and the outside world.

Upon those dark thoughts, the man undid his embrace and grabbed her strongly by her arms. He locked her into position and looked her directly in the eyes.

She looked away.

“Marissa.” He called for her attention.

Nothing felt real anymore. Everything was ephemeral.

“Marissa.” He repeated.

She wondered why everything hurt this much. Why was she even suffering? Her soul ached, and her mind shattered, yet her body was whole.

“Marissa.” As she ignored the last call, the man undid his grab on one of her arms and instead grabbed her chin. Forcing her to look at him. “Look at me.” He said as she had her eyes closed.

She had never felt this weak in her entire life. If she was even…

“I’m not going to leave you.”

In the darkness, the sound of the man’s voice echoed.

“You are alive, and I’m not going to leave you.” He said exactly what she wanted to listen to.

And yet… she couldn’t help but open her eyes.

Before her, Edrie’s lavender eyes shone brightly. A tinge of mana she hadn’t seen on any mage before.

The hand on her chin weakened, and instead moved up, the warm feeling permeating her cheek. She concentrated on that warmth. She liked that feeling. Familiar, caring.

The weight of her head laid upon that open hand, yet it felt as if it was her whole body that was being held.

“I’m here for you Marissa,” Edrie told him with an understanding and soft face. “You can tell me whatever is afflicting you.”

When everything else felt vanishing and unreal, as if were to disappear at any moment, that flow and warmth felt eternal. As if no one could extinguish it, not even death.

That eternity overwhelmed her.

But instead of fighting against it, she embraced that power.

Her hands no longer felt cold, and her pain was lifted. She knew it was the act of magic, a logical and identifiable power, yet she didn’t want to believe so. She saw a passion that wasn’t dictated by rationality. She loved that feeling.

Her heart ignited.

Life sprung.

Blood pumped across her body with reinvigorated energy. Death no longer touched her, but a new essence. The essence of life.

She opened her eyes once more.

Her thoughts were no longer driven by logic, but by emotion. They always were. But now it felt truer than ever. She was conscious of her thoughts, she knew she had to stop, but as she looked at him, she couldn’t deny that life.

She raised her hand and put him on Edrie’s cheek, just as he had done.

This was the last opportunity to stop, to go back, but she didn’t.

Marissa kissed him.