60. Meaningless (Patreon)

Did I already say I hated the ellari work calendar? I couldn’t believe we had only two weeks of rest after ending our first year at the academy. Sure, it had been an easy year, and mostly uneventful, but tiresome, nonetheless.

The only real change we had as the new year began was the change in academic subjects. Henry Innit’s Applied Mathematics and Spell Cryptography had vanished from our schedule, and instead, we got Basic Manathics and an elective of free choice.

We still had Herbalism, Alchemy, and Spellcraft, plus the two combat subjects Silvia taught. Neither the teacher nor the subject’s name had changed. And it made sense as every single one was a lengthy and deep field a mage could specialize.

As for the elective, this was where the group separated for the first time. Adrian and Marissa took a subject called High Pace Combat, because of their affinity to Wind and their battle tendency. Monica chose Basic Inscription, a subject focused on molding the created spells on Spellcraft into certain mediums like paper, glass, or stone.

Yeah, witch crystal magic balls were a thing in Ferilyn. And I didn’t know how to feel about that. Especially because Novela, the only witch-like mage I knew, didn’t have on. Or at least she didn’t display it openly.

As for myself, I took a class called Dispelling and Encryption. A curious subject that was both practical and theoretical. You would spar on the field, dispelling the magic of your opponent, then you’d be told in class how to encrypt your own spells and modify them so other mages didn’t do the same.

Two facts… nay, three facts about the class surprised me. The first being that Henry Innit wasn’t the teacher. It may sound stupid, but I was used to seeing him everywhere if there were maths around. The second was that every mage who took on the class was an arcanist. This shouldn’t really have surprised me as arcanists had an insane advantage at dispelling spells as mana was of Arcane aspect at its rawest form.

This was also the reason why Henry wasn’t the teacher: he wasn’t an arcanist, but a force mage. But that didn’t mean other mages couldn’t dispel, it was only that arcanists were natural manaweavers. Natural, but not the only ones who could do it.

As for the third reason… Everyone who joined the class was because of me. Almost a year had passed since my duel against the pyromancer of House Nay, yet the image of me dispelling the powerful Scorch Ray lingered in the memory of the first-year students.

At least that was what the teacher told me, a considerably old (yet not as much as our Alchemy and Herbalism teacher) ellari woman. She said that her class was mostly empty as most arcanists tended to treat the Arcane as a basic element, instead of the versatile and complex affinity that it was. And also, there was the fact that it was an elective related to math.

If everyone was like Adrian and Marissa, then the latter was for sure the decisive factor.

But the teacher didn’t lie, every single student enrolled in the class had tried to challenge me in one way or another in a test of skill. Unlike the challengers that pestered me after the duel a year ago, now I had no way to deny their petitions as I was forced by the teacher to participate in the practice dispelling exchanges.

I also had no reason to deny my classmates' wishes.

Not a single time had I been defeated in a dispelling duel during the whole year. Whether it was on offense as I had to break their spells, or in defense where I had to encrypt my attacks in complex patterns so they wouldn’t be dissipated.

If I’m being honest, they only shot themselves in the foot by constantly challenging me. Not only was I the most solicited sparring partner in the class, but I was also the one who got the most time to practice. As they progressed a bit on their manaweaving capacities in every class, I took enormous steps as I constantly fought against all of them.

Literally.

At one moment I had become so confident, as I was the first one to arrive at eight star (without actually being a fluke, and also managing it on the Arcane element) and being far more experience on the field, that I took the whole class at the same time on a manaweaving feat of strength.

There were rules laid off, don’t you think that I was strong enough to stop a group of around twenty arcanists of the seven star by myself simultaneously. I took pride in my status as a manaweaver, but not that much pride.

They basically could only conjure six-star spells at most, and no more than three at the same time by caster. Those were extremely disadvantageous circumstances to me, I may be eight-star at the time, but a six-star spell was a six-star spell. And around sixty of them at that.

Still, there was nothing that my tethers of mana guided by my proxy soul fragments and a runic word-powered Mana Void couldn’t fend against such an onslaught.

So, yeah.

That was the entirety of my second year at the Academy of Applied Magical Arts of Ferilyn. I already told you much happened. Maybe it was because I was becoming more in touch with my inner ellari (which was a teenager at that time) but time became a blur as no change was present. Days were blinks, weeks were inhalations, and even whole months felt shorter than one of my meditation sessions.

But you already know that.

I had become a true eight-star sorcerer and wizard in my second year, at the age of twenty-four. Then a few years later, around the end of the fifth year, I became a nine-star mage. Far before my fellow ellari, whether they were of my group or the whole academy.

But what matters here was something that happened at the half-point of my third year, a few weeks after the Scorch holiday had ended.

********

Today was a boring day. Scorch holidays had just ended and everyone’s mood was at the ground. That was what the end of free time did to students. That, and the fact that we were in an Advanced Manathics class.

Henry Innit was a brilliant and funny teacher, but that didn’t mitigate the hardship that was having mathematics in the morning. Most of the students here were thirty, already adults by ellari physiological standards, but that didn’t stop them from either falling asleep or having a lost gaze.

I usually enjoyed math-related subjects, but I will be damned if I started enjoying manathics. They were just that boring. A whole field based on the approximation of calculations and the subconscious application of magic.

The description already made me sleepy.

So, I was surprised when someone knocked on the door. Without losing his welcoming visage, teacher Innit walked slowly towards the door and opened it.

“Yes?” He asked calmly at the person standing at the door.

“I have an urgent message for an Edrie Nightfallen.” My ears twitched as I heard the words of the courier. “I have told he was here.”

“Yes, that’s me.” I got up and went toward the door.

“Here you have.” The male courier took out an envelope from his bandolier and gave it to me.

“Thanks.” I responded.

The messenger tipped the front wing of his hat uniform, and with that went on his merry way.

“I expect it’s important enough to stop the class.” Henry commented at my side, but as usual, he said it with a neutral tone, not bothered by the situation.

I didn’t reply and just opened the envelope, to find a short letter inside. It only took me a few seconds to read it in its entirety and see that the sender was none other than my father.

Without any explanation or apologies, I rushed out of the classroom toward the Thal’mer district.

My mother had collapsed.

********

Thal’mer was quite far away from Sin’fal, especially since the academy grounds were located on the opposite extreme of the district. Nas’tor district was the faster way there, but still, walking was a slow manner to get there.

I spellcasted the Slow Fall synergy and the Ungravity spell, then I boosted my physical capabilities with the Renew spell, which could be used to invigorate the body besides the obvious healing capabilities.

I wasn’t an athletic person like Adrian, nor I possessed a myriad of speed-boosting spells like Marissa. But I was an average person with a weightless body and magically-infused adrenaline. I strode across the Nas’tor district as if the world was going to end, and to me, it may as well do it. Passersby looked at me with confusion, though I couldn’t see very well their expressions as my vision blurred and the tunnel effect kicked in.

Adrenaline pumped through my body, time seemingly slowing down, my heart and legs going faster than they had ever gone. In my euphoria-filled state, it was easy for me to avoid any obstacles the way presented me with. Every step was carefully calculated to not make me trip and arrive home as fast as possible.

My sense of time had greatly eroded during that period, but I could tell no more than half an hour had passed since my departure. In that time, I had crossed half of the island of Ferilyn.

As I crossed the bridge separating the districts and put my feet on Thal’mer’s bazaar, my pacing suddenly slowed. My whole body was aching. I was used to putting my soul under great stress, even my mind at some moments, but I had yet to overexert my body as I now did.

My heart ache in ways it shouldn’t be possible, it felt as if it had popped off. Healing magic greatly helped, proving I was severely hurt. I could detect the presence of some internal hemorrhage as a few blood vessels had burst. My blood vessels regenerated, repairing the damage I had suffered in my mad sprint, yet still leaving me in a lethargic state.

I still kept part of my momentum, and in less than five minutes I was able to arrive at my home. Hastily, I picked up the keys in the inner pocket of my tunic.

As I pressed the keys against the door, I was unable to make them enter the lock. I looked down at my arm to see an erratic pulse as my hand shook from side to side.

I took a deep breath and send a pulse of soul mana across my body, the shakings unnaturally disappeared from my body in an instant. The key promptly entered the lock without difficulty, and I opened the door, entering my home.

“Dad.” I calmly calmed as I closed the door behind me without looking back.

“Up here.” He responded from upstairs, not raising his voice as I did.

I ascended the staircase, not bothering to breathe. As I made my way to the living room I looked at my unconscious mother laying on top of a big cushion, rather than a pillow it resembled a small mattress.

I sat beside my dad on one of the wooden chairs in the kitchen. We both looked at my mother, who rested peacefully before us.

“What happened?” I asked calmly as if my sprint across the city never happened.

“A letter arrived home this morning before I went to work.” Father had always been rather stoic and unexpressive, yet now the emotionless visage appeared more so. “It was from Filan, your grandpa.”

I almost didn’t remember what he was talking about, as I had only seen him once before. And I actually had needed a quick and controlled flash of Perfect Recall to remember him. Ellari were apathetic by nature toward their family, especially if they weren’t closest kin like parents, siblings, or offspring. Things like grandparents were too far for us, we lived for four centuries, and it made sense in a twisted sort of way.

“What did it say?” As I asked him, Father passed me the letter in question. I didn’t read it as he began explaining it.

“Your grandma Sheel has died.” His voice was completely neutral. “When Lilin got around the news, she fainted.” He breathed deeply in exhaustion. “Your mother had always been a weak person, but I would have never imagined the death of his own mother would have made such an effect on her.”

“What did you expect?” I looked at him. He looked at me. Our eyes crossed. “Her mother has just died.”

“I…” Father avoided my gaze as he looked at the ground in defeat.

My father Tel’am had always appeared to me as sensible and trustworthy, even if he was a disastrous parental figure. Yet now, for the first time, I was disappointed in him.

“Go back to work.” I told him, my voice bolstering in silent rage.

“And leave my spouse alone?” He replied in indignation, getting up from his chair.

“Go back to work and leave mother to my care. I can heal her if something goes wrong. Even if I go back to the academy, classes will already have ended by the time I make it there.”

“I…” Father stopped dead on his words once again. I looked at his eyes, unrelenting resolve pouring from them as I manifested my soul against his. “Alright, son. I leave your mother on your hands.”

********

“Urgh…” I heard a grunt behind me as I left the porridge bowl on the table.

“You are finally awake.” I looked up at the setting sun and the tangerine-violet sky. Father would be home soon enough. “You’ve slept a long time.”

“Edrie?” Mother looked at me in confusion. “Why are you…” Then stopped dead in her tracks.

Today no one was able to speak a full sentence, huh?

“Don’t overdo.” I sat beside her on the pillow sofa and handed her a cup. “Here, drink. It’s a soothing infusion.”

“Thanks.” Mom looked down at the ground, her eyes appearing like those of the dead fish on display at the bazaar.

I had never seen her like this. Mother had always been a positive and radiant person. Whilst I couldn’t exactly tell if she was the one who took the reins of the family, she was always there to speak her voice and give the ultimate vote when a serious decision had to be chosen.

In other words, my mother was a strong person. No matter what my father said.

Seeing her defeated, dead like this pained me. I had seen worry taint her visage, but never sadness.

I sat beside her, not mustering a single word. I kept my breathing to a bare minimum, tapping into healing spells to reduce the oxygen intake my body needed to not disturb her in any form or shape. Slowly and unobtrusively, I bathed her with low-powered healing cantrips.

It was only after she took seven sips, not even emptying a tenth of the mug in that time, that she talked back at me.

“She was young.” One didn’t need to be a bright person to know who she was referring to.

I didn’t bother opening my lips. It was obvious she wasn’t willing or able to take on a conversation, but just rambling to herself to free her mind.

“She should have had half a century more.” I could see a small trickle of water flowing across her cheeks. “I actually never had the best of relationships with my mother, she wanted me to be a mage. But I just couldn’t. I wasn’t done for the job. That’s why when your father first suggested training you in magic when you were just a baby, I opposed him. I had grown to hate mages, in my own way.”

Was this why Novela and she had this sour relationship father talked about? I didn’t ask, but I had the sensation there was more to just blind hate there.

“But it still was my mother!” The cup fell from her hands as she put her hands before her eyes, the dam gates containing her tears finally erupting.

With a telekinetic swoop, I avoided the cup from shattering onto the ground, picking up the floating object with my hands and left it manually on the table as I didn’t have much confidence in my telekinetic abilities.

It took her a pair of minutes to finally calm down, I slowly stroked her back with my hand and infused her with the Soul Touch spell. Basic but effective with people suffering from emotional disorder.

“I’m a later offspring.” Mother suddenly said. “Do you know what that means, Edrie?”

Something told me she wasn’t talking about just being a second child. I tilted my head in negation to her question.

“A later offspring is when parents decide to have children after already having had one, but only way later, once their other children are already adult.” The apathetic way my mother narrated felt off to me. As if everything was meaningless. “I’m actually a third child. My mother had two children before me. One before she was a hundred, then another a few decades later.”

Normally I would crack a joke about how you couldn’t just say ‘a few decades later’ like that, but I wasn’t in the right state of mind. The fact that such an idea had occurred to me simply disgusted me.

“We didn’t really have the best of relationships, my siblings and I. The fact that I was only born after my mother was well over two hundred, and they were already a hundred themselves, we just straight up never spoke.” She cracked a cold laugh. “They were already old enough to have children of their own when I had been born.”

As my mother’s face finally recovered some color, and part of her existential dread vanished, I finally let the words out of my mouth.

“Why are you telling me this?” I asked her.

She looked at me. I looked back at her. Her eyes were bloodshot. Mother slowly picked up my hands, her own shaking violently, and took advantage to heal her exhausted body.

“Because I love you.” She said.

Her head fell down onto my shoulders. I heard sobs coming from my side. I didn’t tilt my head to look. Unlike when I was a child, now I was strong enough to support the weight of my mother. In more than one way. I had grown taller than my own father.

“Because I love you.” Mom reiterated.

“I know.” I caressed her head with methodical yet warm strokes. “I know.” I also reiterated.

We stood in that position for a long time. I knew what a hurt soul could do to someone. Especially a fatigated one that questioned the meaning of life itself.

As I sensed Father arriving home with my Soul Sight, I casted a basic Astral Projection and talked to him at the door.

“Wait for a little before coming in.” My father wasn’t surprised by my holographic self as this spell I had already learned before I went to the academy.

Without any hesitation, or any questions, he answered with a simple, “Alright.”

I took mother a solid quarter of an hour and a third of my soul mana pool before she got her head up from my shoulders.

“That infusion was good.” She said with a bright yet forced smile. “How did you do it?”

“I had a good teacher in the academy.” I smiled back at her, mine containing a dreadful spark of melancholy.

Even if she was pushing herself to talk, to act like herself once more, I considered she was good enough. I told Dad through my projection to enter back home. Tonight we would dine as a family once more.