The Wanderer - 184 (Patreon)

[A/N: Sorry for the late upload, I had some things to take care of over the day. Tomorrow's chapter should be up earlier. Enjoy!

Chapter 184 – Disharmony

[2009 – October]

I wasn't a violent person by nature. Nor did I enjoy acting like an incarnation of death and destruction.

I carried darkness within my heart and there was no doubt about the malevolence that rested within my mind but I had never struggled to control those tendencies.

At the rare times that I had given in to the darker urges within myself, I had done so consciously and decisively as I had no intention of being corrupted by the purely malicious thoughts that existed in the deeper recesses of my mind.

After all, the fact that I accepted those parts of myself not as something to be denied and ignored, didn't mean that I would ever let myself become a blind executioner of them. In that same sense, I tried not to identify with the more benevolent sentiments that I had.

For me, a person was the sum of their deeds and not the sum of their thoughts.

And while things had become a bit more difficult after I had gained a modicum of power through Self-Creation, I had tried to keep myself in check at all times.

Becoming a Realm Lord had naturally made things even more complicated as the Darkforce was a type of energy that existed solely to consume light and life, but I had no intention to falter on my path.

Still, I wasn't particularly fond of going around and threatening others but I also recognized it as a necessity to protect the peaceful life that I tried to live with Jean and the others.

I didn't take pleasure in scaring Fury or the council members with my actions. In fact, I would have preferred if they could simply understand that any intention to enter a conflict with me or threaten those close to me was just not an idea worth pursuing if they cared in any way about their own life.

Unfortunately, humans were rarely so clear-headed and rational that they understood their own limitations and recognized their misguided delusions for what they really were. At least that was the case without some negative reinforcement.

I could have naturally gone to meet Fury and told him of Hydra to try and make some kind of deal with him, but the chances of him not understanding those actions as weakness and secretly scheming against me were slim.

Not to mention that I had no desire to get involved in the squabbles between SHIELD and Hydra. I didn't care who won their little secret war as long as the winner understood not to anger me.

Pulling up the hood of my sweater, I walked through the busy streets of New York as I reflected on this while I pondered about the events that had come to pass this last day.

It was only Saturday night but so much had happened this weekend that it seemed strange for so little time to have passed.

I breathed in the cold night air as the lively yet hectic soundscape slowly started to drown out my musings, giving me a moment of peace while surrounded by a bustling crowd of people.

Partygoers, night-shift workers, or simple tourists, some moved with purpose while others seemed to be just dragging along. And as I moved past them, it felt as if their motion instilled in me an antithetical sense of stillness.

It was a strange disharmony that in itself seemed harmonious in the way it followed the way of all things, counterbalancing what existed to even out the scale, completing the cycle.

I took long and deep breaths as I listened to the city, my senses spanning over large parts of New York. I listened to it as it thrived and grew, I listened to it live.

I wasn't sure if I was part of the vitality of this giant city or if I just stood outside the storefront, peeking inside through the improvised visor that my palms acted as.

One part of me wanted to be part of it while the other wished that I wasn't.

I didn't only feel out of place, I also wanted to feel out of place. The prideful part of myself thought that I stood above mortal life such as this while another part of me wanted to believe that I was still human enough so that I could belong here if I so choose, even if my heart yearned for the stars.

In the end, I just smiled as I turned into a cloud of shadows and returned home, to Jean's side. To a place where I knew without a doubt that I belonged there.

…

Feeling the movements behind her, Jean was roused from her light sleep. Though the familiar warmth that enveloped her a moment later was enough to set her heart at ease.

Elijah's arm reached around her slim waist, his hand slipping beneath the shirt that she had borrowed from him to sleep in tonight as he pulled her against his chest.

Leaving a quiet kiss on the back of her neck, his fingers gently caressing the smooth skin of her lower abdomen, he whispered softly: “I love you, Firefly.”

Her lips curled up into a sweet smile, tender joy blooming in her heart, she placed her hand above her love's as she snuggled deeper into his embrace and replied: "I love you too, Elijah."

Jean didn't need to ask Elijah where he had gone or what had kept him away so long as the only thing that really mattered to her was that he had come back. That he was by her side.

…

Like the blade of a spear, my arm moved forward piercing through the air in front of me.

It wasn't a fast movement nor did it seem to contain too much force but it was steady and carried with it a sense of sharpness and purpose.

Drawing my arm back and taking a step forward with my left leg, I tensed the muscles of my lower abdomen, thighs, calves, and feet, while at the same time, my right leg drew an arc through the air as I unleashed a sweeping kick, making sure to enhance the force of my blow with a tensing of my waist and the movements of my arms.

Once again, the actual movement seemed slow and lacking in power, which was obviously an illusion as every motion carried the weight of an avalanche, my physique making sure of that.

Still, I continued my slow and measured movements, increasing the force that I exerted with every stance and movement while counteracting my inhuman strength through an ethereal barrier.

It wasn't long before sweat started to run down my bare upper body, my musculature an absolutely perfect display of lethal grace. My expression was impassive as my eyes seemed to radiate pure and unadulterated determination.

It was Sunday morning and I found myself inside my training room as I started to test the limits of my control.

Increasing the force exerted through pure physical strength while using an ethereal barrier to suppress the actual consequences of unleashing such inhuman strength while staying on an inhabited planet.

It was a way of training that allowed me to slowly get more accustomed to what kind of strength I can use while on Earth before my barrier failed to prevent lasting damage to the planet.

It wasn't that my barriers weren't strong enough but that my fine control lacked to contain the sheer strength contain inside my indestructible physique..

I was naturally improving at a tremendous pace and with every movement, every stance, I raised the output of strength, my skill in exerting force on my surroundings through an ethereal barrier ever increasing.