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Post here your MASOs SCCs AOBs (ASOS or OASIS missives also accepted) Open Arms Birthdays Dadgags Heroes and all that..

Plus, as I have been unceremoniously un-asked to do Strictly for the 22nd consecutive time, what have you NOT been selected for?

In other news, a Scunthorpe Library copy of Arthur C Clarke’s 2001: Space Odyssey has just been returned 50 years late so tell me also what have you still got that you need to return?

Equally you can just fckin ignore all the above, tune in and enjoy the unfurling idiocy from 1300hrs military


No presh x

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Anonymous

Saw some Walnut Whips in Home Bargains near Aberdeen last week. I never checked the use by date…

Anonymous

Books Returned Late… I was contacted by my old school two years after I finished Uni telling me I still had their copy of Karl Marx’s Biography. (I did- I even knew which box it was in in my mums attic..) ‘All property is theft!’ I emailed them back - always the smart-arse… ‘Our point exactly’ was their reply… That’s me banged to rights….