Audio Fall Expected on Thursday (Patreon)

Good evening, my dear listeners! I'm here to bring you the most exciting, thrilling, and chilling weather report you've ever heard. Brace yourselves, for what I'm about to reveal may just blow your socks off – or at least your eardrums!

Now, folks, I've got some exclusive, insider information, and you'll want to listen up! Forget about rain and snow, it's all about audio from here on out! That's right, folks! We're expecting an absolutely deafening audio fall this Thursday, and I can assure you, it will be a cacophony like you've never experienced before!

As you can see on this marvellously outdated map, we've got a high-pressure system of bass notes moving in from the west, colliding with a low-pressure system of treble notes coming from the east. And let me tell you, when they meet, it's going to be nothing short of an auditory apocalypse!

Now, I know what you're thinking: "How can we possibly prepare for such a sound storm?" Well, fear not, my fellow audio aficionados, I've got just the advice for you! First and foremost, make sure to stock up on earplugs – the industrial strength kind, if you can find 'em! They'll be worth their weight in gold once the audio fall hits.

And what's a proper audio fall without a few high-pitched shrieks and blood-curdling screams? That's right, ladies and gentlemen, we're predicting a veritable chorus of spine-tingling sounds that'll have you on the edge of your seat. So be sure to find the sturdiest seat in your house—preferably one with good lumbar support!

As we head into the weekend, the audio fall is expected to taper off, leaving us with a pleasant, if not slightly eerie, silence. But don't be fooled, folks—this is merely the calm before the storm. We've got word of an impending audio resurgence that's poised to make its grand entrance next week. So, keep those earplugs handy, and remember: in the world of audio weather, silence isn't always golden!

That's all for tonight's thrilling forecast, folks. Stay safe, stay sound, and remember – you heard it here first! Good night, and good luck!