Introducing the latest in nocturnal companionship: The SnuggleMate Embrace Pillow™! (Patreon)

Are you tired of the cold, unwelcoming void on the other side of your bed? Does your other half take forever with their nightly rituals, leaving you tossing and turning in an ocean of loneliness? Fear not, for the Embrace Pillow is here to change your midnight blues to warm, cuddly hues!

Crafted from the softest fibres known to humankind and infused with the essence of a thousand cuddles, the SnuggleMate Embrace Pillow™ is not just a pillow; it's a revolution in bedtime comfort. No more counting sheep or staring at the ceiling while your beloved murmurs sweet nothings to the bathroom mirror instead of you. Now, you can sink into the arms of the Embrace Pillow, which literally hugs you back—yes, it’s as clingy as you are!

But wait, there's more! It's whisper-quiet, unlike your partner's late-night phone scrolling. And it’s more attentive too! While they're lost in the land of social media, your Embrace Pillow will be giving you all the warmth and affection you desperately miss.

And for those nights when you find yourself drafting mental texts of longing as you await the grand return of your nocturnal wanderer, the Embrace Pillow will be there, cradling your head, drying your lonely tears (metaphorically, of course—it's not actually absorbent).

So why settle for a mere human when you can snuggle up with the next best thing? The SnuggleMate Embrace Pillow™: Because sometimes the truest love is soft, supportive, and doesn’t steal the duvet.