Welcome to Cupid's Calamity Inn (Patreon)
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Welcome to Cupid's Calamity Inn, where every misadventure is meticulously managed to ensure that even the most steadfast foes can find love—or at least share a room!
At Cupid’s Calamity, We Master the Art of 'Accidental' Romance
Are you dreading the thought of spending another tedious conference side-by-side with that unbearable coworker? At Cupid's Calamity, we specialise in transforming professional grievances into personal dalliances. How, you ask? Through a series of unfortunate "coincidences" that are too precise to be questioned!
Accommodations That 'Accidentally' Inspire Closeness Imagine this: the last room available (it always is), and it just so happens to be a honeymoon suite with a single opulent double bed and a sofa that might as well be made of stone. Fear not, the rock-hard sofa ensures that only the bed is a viable option—nudging you and your 'beloved' enemy into an unwitting night of awkward, close-quartered slumber.
Disasters of a Convenient Nature Our onsite disaster management is impeccable. Floods? Sudden? Unpredictable? Always when there's an excess of guests. Flights cancelled? Only when there's a peculiar surplus of frosty duos needing thawing. At Cupid’s Calamity, the elements themselves conspire to ensure you’re stuck just long enough to reconsider your antagonistic alliances.
Fine Dining to Fan the Flames Join us in the dining hall where the menu is designed to incite debate and stir passions. Whether it's the last slice of cheesecake or the intentionally slow service, you'll find plenty of reasons to bicker, banter, and, perhaps, bond.
Activities to Accentuate Antagonism—And Affection Our team-building activities are infamous for forcing frictions to the surface, only to resolve them in the most ludicrously romantic ways. Participate in our 'Blind Trust Falls', where you might just find yourself falling more ways than one.
A Staff That Knows Too Much Our staff are experts in the art of subtle manipulation—watch as they innocently push you into uncomfortable scenarios that require cooperative solutions. They're not nosy; they're narratively necessary!
Testimonials That Might Be Real "I came with a coworker and left with a soulmate—how did that happen?!" - Perplexed Patron
"I've never been so frustrated and fascinated at the same time. Would recommend, reluctantly." - Conflicted Guest
Book Your Stay at Cupid’s Calamity Inn Visit us at the end of your tether, and leave tethered to someone you least expected. At Cupid’s Calamity, your personal dislikes are our delight. It's not just a stay; it's an intervention!
Remember, at Cupid's Calamity Inn, it's not fate, it's just very good planning!