Non-Canon Omake: Through the Looking Glass, Part 2. (Patreon)

Non-Canon Omake: Through the looking glass, Part 2.

Teleportation Circles lit up in the room as a bunch of familiar faces appeared. Some I’ve seen from the outside, one I ‘ve only seen in the mirror.

“Mom!”

“Miss Shimoda!”

“Big Sis!”

They all filled into the room, ready for battle. Noticing the non threatening situation they sort of fumbled, but then immediately noticed me, the stranger, and were about to charge in for a fight again.

I admit, it was odd seeing myself like this. I mean, I’ve fought my copies through my Zanpakutō and Bankai Training, but this just felt…different.

Especially because it was a younger me.

“Mom, who is that!?” My younger self pointed at me.

God, I forgot how short I used to have my hair.

“I’m your long-lost twin brother.” I just randomly blurted out the first thing that popped into my head.

“Wah!?”

“Stop making things confusing.” My mom slapped my arm.

“The truth is, I’m actually you from the future. I’ve come back in time to warn you about –“

“Stop it.” Mom slapped my again. “One more time.” She warned me with that look.

“….he does look a lot like you.” Venelana’s daughter said skeptically.

“That’s stupid, there’s no way he’s me from the future.” My younger self rolled his eyes.

“Wanna know where he keeps his stash of porn?” I looked towards my mom. “It’s in his closet, under the –“

“Shut up!” My younger self turned red and his voice cracked slightly.

“Oh stop.” My mom rolled her own eyes. “And besides, I already knew about the hiding spot under that loose floorboard in your closet.”

“Mom!?” He squeaked out.

“Miss Shimoda.” Sona Sitri pushed up her glasses. “Perhaps we should discuss the pertinent subject. Like how a stranger bypassed your houses’ defenses.”

“That was like, hours ago. Where have you been?”

“Don’t –“ Mom was about to chastise me, then she paused, her expression blanking for a second. “Wait, that was awhile ago, why are you just getting here now?”

“What? They only went off a few minutes ago.” Sona looked confused.

Mom looked at her then at me.

“Yeah, I fucked with them.” I shrugged.

“Language.” She slapped my arm.

“Mom, stop hitting me.” I huffed.

“Wait, mom?” My Alternate self repeated.

“Woops.” I realized my slip up. “Guess that cats’ out of the bag.”

“Wait, is he actually my long lost brother!?”

“Takao, don’t be silly.” Sona interjected. “There has to be some reasonable explanation. He’s not your long lost brother, he’s not a time traveler. That’s just absurd.”

“I’m him from an Alternate Reality.” I just ripped the band aid right off.

Everyone looked at me, then at my mom.

“What? He’s telling the truth this time.” My mom defended.

“That’s ridiculous!” My younger self proclaimed.

“Honestly, I’m feeling pretty similarly right now.” I agreed.

“This is new to you too?” Rias questioned.

“Oh no, I do this all the time.” I shook my head. “I’m talking about the fact that my other self is apparently dating that thing.” I pointed at Sona.

“What is that supposed to mean!?” Said girl all but growled.

“I’m glad you asked –“

Mom slapped my arm again. “Takao.” She warned.

“Ugh, fine.” I stopped, on behalf of my mom. But….I couldn’t help myself. “By the way, all his porn is about girls with big boobs.” I shot once more towards her.

Mom hit me again.

Sona’s eyes widened, and she turned towards her apparent boyfriend.

“He’s lying!”

“Actually, he’s not.”

“Mom!!!”

“We’ll talk about it later.” Sona huffed, pushing up her glasses again then turned to me. “Honestly, it just sounds like overt jealously.” She turned up her nose.

I covered my mouth.

“Takao, is something wrong?” My mom looked at me in concern.

“Sorry, just threw up a little when she insinuated that I was jealous.”

“Why do you keep insulting my girlfriend?” My alternate self was seemingly getting upset.

“Sorry, threw up a little more in my mouth.”

“Takao Shimoda!” My mom raised her voice.

“What?”

“Not you, the other Takao!” She corrected after my alternate self blurted out.

“This is confusing.” Rias grumbled.

“Well, to make things easier, I don’t go by Takao.” I replied, because it was getting annoying. “Wilhelm Henry Schweinorg, at your service.” I properly introduced myself.

“Why do you have a German name?” Sona asked.

“What’s wrong with my name?” I frowned. “It’s from my Grandfather.” Sorta, kinda.

“Grandpa Zeo?” Takao spoke up.

“What does he have to do with anything?”

“Duh, who else? Mom’s dad is dead.” He snorted.

“My Grandfather.” I shrugged. “Adopted.”

“Well, I think it’s a lovely name!” Mom interrupted, and being the best mom ever, she easily accepted and didn’t question my choices. “Now, tell me more about my grandbabies!”

“Wait, what?”

“You’re pregnant!?” Rias screeched, looking at Sona.

“I’m still a virgin!” Sona squeaked back.

“Oh wow, younger me, you can’t do anything right, can you?” Mom decided that I deserved my cheek to be pinched.

“I wasn’t talking about Sona.” Mom clarified.

“Thank God for that.” I muttered, even at the expense of further mom cheek pulls.

“Wait, what?” Sona did a near about face.

“I was expressing my gratitude at the mercies of the universe that my children didn’t come from you.” I clarified.

“That’s not what I was talking about!” She hissed. “I’m talking about how you can invoke that name without any problems! Even if you’re a half-devil….Takao still can’t do that!”

“…oh, she’s right. You Devils get hurt from saying God, right?” Mom look confused now too. “Are you not a Half-Devil?”

“I am.” I shrugged.

“Then how are you ignoring it?” Rias asked.

“Have you tried praying?” I offered. “Maybe if you ask nicely it’ll go away?”

“Oww.” My other self suddenly held his head in pain.

“Wait, did you really just fucking try to pray?”

“Language!” Mom pinched me again. “And Takao, don’t listen to obviously misleading things.”

“How was I supposed to know he was lying!? He’s me!?”

“And if he tried to sell you drugs, would you take them?” Mom huffed then looked at me with eyes narrowed. “Don’t even start.”

“I was not going to say anything.”

“I know that face.” She held a finger up at me. “And be honest.”

“Once you get strong enough, it won’t matter.” I said simply.

“…..brother can say it too.” Rias muttered.

“How strong are you?” My Alternate Self looked wide eyed. “I’ve been training in Magic, but I’m still having trouble getting the hang of it. Sona’s a Genius, but even so, I’m pretty average…”

“Right, Genius.” I rolled my eyes.

“I’m one of the most talented in the Pillar Families.” Sona defended herself.

“….and?” I asked.

She twitched a bit aggressively.

“Wait, if you’re not together with Sona, who are you with?” My other Self asked. “It’s Akeno, isn’t it?”

“The stripper?”

“The what!?” Rias exclaimed.

“Then who?”

“Why does it matter?” I shrugged.

“Don’t listen to him, He’s obviously making it up.” Sona harumphed.

“Whatever.”

“Seriously, who did you end up with? If you’re like…a future me or whatever.” Takao kept pushing.

“What’s wrong, are you embarrassed to tell Momma about your little sweetheart?” Even my mom was nudging me.

“Harem.”

“Huh?” My mom tilted her head.

“I said, I have a Harem.” I clarified.

“Wait, like a real Harem?” My other self went wide-eyed. “Like with multiple girls.”

“Yup.”

“….bullshit.”

“Takao, Language!” Mom chastised. “But I agree, in less abrasive terms and with more motherly affection.”

I took my phone out and flicked it a few times to get to the pictures and slid it over to them. The all seemed to crowd around Takao as he picked It up and started swiping.

“Wait, stop.” Sona said. “Isn’t that the Youkai Leader.”

“Yasaka.” I nodded as that was probably one of the only faces they would recognize immediately.

They continued to flip through the pictures until Rias made a very strange noise. Besides that, they all went deathly silent.

“Mom!?” Rias then blurted out.

“……son.” Mom’s tone had a fearful sternness. “Why is there a picture of your Grandmother here with the others?”

“Oh wow, look at the time.” I stood up. “I think I should head home now. I don’t want to disturb you any longer –“

“Sit down.”

“Yes mom.” My butt became glued to the seat.

“Rias.”

“Yes Big Sis?” Rias stiffened.

“Go call your brother. And your mother. I think we have something important to talk about.”

“Y-you…. Our Grandmother!?” Takao blurted out.

“Don’t look at me like that, I’m not fucking ashamed.” I crossed my arms, only realizing seconds later that I said the wrong thing. “…..please don’t take off your sandal, mom.”