Pokémon Sidestory Part 2 (Patreon)
Content
“Alright, it’s time to begin my Pokémon Journay!” I clapped my hands, staring to the horizon….or rather the forest I was supposed to trek through.
“Magi, Magikarp.” Magikarp floated next to me. I was using a basic spell to keep a ball of water around him and he could move around in.
“It was just a small setback, but you look dapper as fuck, so it’s worth it.” I admired my newest Pokémon. “Sure it took a week to find a tailor willing to make some clothes for a Magikarp….especially because you’re a water Pokémon. But that doesn’t matter! What matters is, you look good, you feel good, and you’re ready to kick some ass.”
“Magikarp!” My Pokémon’s eyes lit up, a noticeable fire in them.
“Awsome, so it’s time to begin your training.” I nodded, happy with his enthusiasm. “Sir Wiggles” I called out, my Familiar came bolting out of the forest.
My Magikarp and Sir Wiggles stared each other down. They still weren’t exactly….friends yet. If anything I think my Magikarp felt a sense of inferiority so it was projecting that in this sort of rivalry that developed.
“Sir Wiggles, show off some of your skills.” I gave Sir Wiggles free rein.
He jutted off into the sky, a streak of lightning left in its wake.
“MAGIKARP!?” The Fish Pokémon exclaimed, trying to follow his movements.
Sir Wiggles landed on the ground, Ice raining down from the sky, before it could hit the ground, it turned into water and began to take on different shapes, floating around us like his water bubble.
“As you can see, Sir Wiggles is….versatile.” I held my arms out, and my rabbit jumped into them. “You might be think that he’s simply a powerful Pokémon, right?”
“…Magi.” He reluctantly nodded.
“Wrong.” I shook my head. “When I first got him, he couldn’t do any of that. When I first got him, you would have beaten him.”
The Magikarps eye’s widened.
“I’ll tell you a secret, I taught him those moves because they aren’t moves.” I leaned in a little closer. “It’s magic.”
“Karp, Magikarp?” It seemed confused.
“I made your bubble.” I pointed out, then held my finger towards the sky, unleashing a lightning bolt. “And Remember what I did when we first met. I’m a Magus, I practice Magecraft, of in laymens terms – I use Magic.” I paused, letting that sink in. “And You’re going to learn from me.”
“MAGIKARP!?” His eyes shined brilliantly again, like hope finally returning to him fully.
“It’s not going to be easy, even painful at some times, but if you stay true, I’ll make true on my promise. You’ll have all the Gyradoses in the world bowing to you when we’re done.”
“Magikarp!”
“Here’s the thing, Pokémon naturally have what we in the business call – Magical Energy. You lot call it something else around here, like Aura.” I waived my hand, not caring about terminology all that much. “Though technically different, it’s more or less the same in application and it’ll fit our purposes.” And It’s slightly different from my own Aura, but that doesn’t really matter.
“So!” I clapped my hands. “I want you to get a feel for the Water Orb around you, truly feel how it’s held together. Then I want you to remember the feeling of using your own moves. With me so far?”
“Magi, Karp.” He nodded.
“I know it sounds mundane, but we gotta work on the basics. So, see if you can compare the two, then your first task is going to be creating this water bubble all on your own.” I snapped my fingers, making it pop. He fell to the ground and started flopping around. “Recreate it” I said sternly.
“MAGI, MAGI, MAGI, MAGIKARP.” It flailed around looking scared as it losts it method of breathing. Despite being a Pokémon, it was still a fish and needed to breath through its gills.
“Are you going to die a worthless Magikarp, or are you going to show the world that you’re more than some fish.”
Magikarp did the fish equivalent of gritting its teeth. Water shot out of its mouth in all directions. It was a powerful torrent, then a mediocre spray, then a wide shower as it kept finagling about its own move set. He got more erratic, his water going in every direction, in directions it shouldn’tbe going as it sort of coiled around him before splashing helplessly on the ground. His flopping began to lessen, and I realized he reached his limit.
I snapped my fingers, a new ball of water enveloping him.
“Well done.” I praised him as he reorientated himself.
“….Magi….” He said meekly.
“Pokémon thrive on hardship.” I said simply. “I would never let you die, but I wanted you to have that fire in your belly. You were close there, your water was moving in ways it normally wouldn’t.” I pointed out. “Once you get comfortable with this, with harnessing your Aura, we can start learning spells properly.” I gave him a smile.
Magikarp didn’t look disheartened in the slightest, nor even angry at me for doing that. He was resolved and looking eager to continue.
Giving him another moment, I snapped my fingers again, his body hitting the ground.
And I watched with pride as he struggled resolutely.
****
I held my hands behind my head as we walked through the humidforest. Thankfully I could offset any unsightly sweating with my magic, but did I mention, it’s fucking humid.
Because it is.
Oh, and Pokémon is a fucking lie.
The Game and or Shows, not the actual creatures.
We’ve been walking for days and nothing’s happened. No wild Pokémon wanting to come and take me on, hopeful that I could be that special person to make them special. Unless you count Snorlax.
“HOW ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME!?” I kicked the big lard of a Pokémon as he lay sleeping in the middle of the path.
It of course didn’t react at all.
Peacefully sleeping.
It was amusing the first time.
And the second.
Even the third.
Now I’m wondering if I’m being trolled, because this Snorlax had randomly appeared in my path eleven times now. And I know it’s the same damn Snorlax because I drew on its face with a marker!
A dick.
I drew a dick.
“Peace, Wilhelm. This is your vacation, your Pokémon adventure.” I said to myself, finding my zen. I just needed to remind myself that not all Pokémon are assholes like that Geodude.
On the plus side, Magikarp was rocking his new ability.
He floated next to me in his own water bubble.
Proud of you little-big dude.
So, Aura isn’t quite like Magical Energy, so we were working through these muddy waters together. However, we were making progress and I felt confident in bringing him to par soon.
Just doing this, floating with me as I walked, was intense training for him as he had to learn how to manipulate his own water to keep himself enclosed.
Gaah, this was much more interesting when Ash and his idiot friends did it in the show. Wait….didn’t he have like super bullshit luck? Me thinks I was basing my adventure off the wrong person….
At the very least, could Team Rocket maybe come by? Not for the action or anything like that, I just really wanna flirt with Jessie. Them legs don’t lie and neither do I.
I only perked up when I saw someone else walking down the path. The first person I’ve seen in forever.
“Hey, you!” The kid stopped, pointing at me, shouting when he could have just walked a few more steps forward.
“Sup.” I greeted.
“You’re a Pokémon trainer, right?” He was several octaves above the volume he needed to be. “Well, you’re kinda old, but it doesn’t matter! Let’s have a Pokémon battle!”
He didn’t even give me a moment to answer his question, and insulted me within the same breath.
“I am indeed a Pokémon trainer.” My lips thinned. “I would love to have a Pokémon battle.”
“How many Pokémon you got?” He sort of leaned out a little to emphasize the three Poke Balls on his belt. A little smugness on his face when I looked at them as if he was showing off.
“Two.” I said emotionlessly.
“Haha, well…” He tweaked his nose with his thumb. “I guess I could use my two weakest. It’s not like your Magikarp can handle any of my Pokémon anyways!”
Huh.
Is he not going to question my floating Magikarp?
“And what’s that Pokémon on your head?” He obviously pointed to Sir Wiggles.
“Sir Wiggles.” I said plainly. “He’s the…..Jackalope Pokémon.”
“Whatever, never heard of it. Must not be very impressive.” His confidence was shining if nothing else.
“Alright, boys.” I turned towards my Pokémon. Regardless on the opponent¸ I considered this my first real battle, so I was going to treat it with all the respect It deserved. Which wasn’t much, but I digress. “We’re going to do this clean and by the books! He’s a Bug Pokémon trainer, so you should know what to expect.”
“How did you know I was a Bug Pokémon trainer!?” The Kid exclaimed, shock appearing on his face.
I looked at the Bug Catching net he was holding, the plastic container full of bugs that hung around his shoulder, and the hat that literally said ‘Bug’s Life’ on it. “Honestly, just a complete shot in the dark.”
“Hmph, you must have planned this.” He declared, rather proudly. “I guess I’m getting famous enough for people to keep tabs on me.”
“Sure, why not.” I said dryly. “Anyways, I think it’s etiquette to summon your first Pokémon since mine are in plain view.”
“Of course.” He shouted, for some reason. I don’t know why he felt the need to keep shouting everything. “Come out, Caterpie!” He threw his Poke Ball, the caterpillar Pokémon emerged onto the ground.
“Cater, Caterpie!” It looked happy to be out.
“Magikarp, you’re up.” I glanced towards my large fishy.
“Hah, Magikarp!?” The Bug Catcher bellowed out.
I ignored him for now. “So how you wanna do this, a coin flip, and start when it hits the ground?” I offered as a start to the match.
“You can have the first move.” He waived me off, not even bother to pay attention.
I opened my mouth then closed it again. “Okay.” I just said evenly. “Magikarp, use headbutt.”
“Magikarp can’t use –“
“MAGIKARP!” My Pokémon roared, the water around him exploded out from behind as it propelled him forward at blinding speed. He slammed right into the little bug Pokémon, sending it rocketing into a tree.
The Kid stared there, trying to process what he just saw. My Magikarp locked eyes with him, menacingly. And I fully believe it would have been an intimidating sight, had Magikarp not been flopping around and wheezing due to not being able to breath.
“R-return, Caterpie.” The Trainer hesitantly held out his Pokeball. The red light shot out from it, enveloping his Pokémon as it was returned to its home. “Y-you got lucky, I was going easy on you. I’ll be trying this time for sure!”
Amazing, three excuses in one breath.
“Magikarp, come on back.” I gestured with my head.
“Magi.” He, through a decent amount of effort, enveloped himself in water again, slowly floating back to me.
“Sir Wiggles, you’re up.” He jumped off my head, landing on the ground.
“Go, Metapod!” The kid shouted with gusto, throwing his poke ball again.
“Metapod.” The Pokémon declared as it appeared. And it had a surprisingly posh tone to it.
“Alright, so, coin flip or –“
“Metapod, use Harden!” The kid screeched.
I blinked, staring at Metapod then at the kid. “Seriously?”
He crossed his arms, a smug smile on his face. “Haah, this strategy was one I came up with after months of planning.”
“…..you’re going to spam Harden to tire my Pokémon out?” I asked.
His eyes widened. “How did you know!?”
“….Sir Wiggles, use headbutt.” I let out a sigh, realizing that this was my first Pokémon battle….officially.
Sir Wiggles didn’t use his lightning nor any magic, I wanted him to stick with….normal means just to get in the groove of things. Not to say he was weak by any means, he could casually knock down a tree with a waive of his paw.
“Metapod, use Iron Defense!”
“Wait, what?” I blinked as the Metapod’s body turned slightly silver with a noticeable sheen to him, moreso than a normal Harden.
Sir Wiggles smacked into the Metapod, and the Metapod didn’t move.
“Seriously, Iron Defense?” I resisted the urge to face palm. How the fuck does his Metapod even know that move? Isn’t it only something it can get from a TM!? “Does he know any moves other than Harden and Iron Defense?”
“Metapod, Harden!” He seemed to respond to my question in the most annoying way possible.
Sir Wiggles stood there, looking just as annoyed as I was. I could tell he was…frustrated.
“Meta, Pod.” His opponent intoned, and it sounded insulting. And if the smirk it held was to reveal anything, it was meant to be.
“Are you actually going to battle or not?” I sighed, rubbing the bridge of my nose.
“If you can’t handle it, then surrender! This will be my fourth consecutive win!” He pumped his fist into the air.
I looked around, catching something out of the corner of my eyes. “Sir Wiggles.” I called out as my Familiar followed my gaze. “Use waterboard.”
“What kind of move is –” He didn’t have a chance to finish as Sir Wiggles began dragging his Metapod to a nearby pond.
Which, might I add, was completelywithin the rules. Uses of Terrain was encouraged.
Sir Wiggles, with its cute little paws, pushed the Metapod into the water.
Fun fact, Metapods need to breath still.
“Meta— gurgle”
That continued for several moments, until the trainer was finally broken form his stupir.
“NO! METAPOD, RETURN!” He screeched out again. Except, Sir Wiggles slapped away the red beam of light that was trying to grab hold of Metapod.
The Kid gaped at the scene he just witnessed.
Sir Wiggles, showing he isn’t a cruel bunny, dragged the half-drowned Metapod back to the trainer and deposited it right infront of him before happily returning to my head.
He silently recalled his Pokémon again.
“And where’s my prize money?” I held my hand out. Funnily enough, you do win money for winning Pokémon matches. It’s a law or something between training, I don’t know. I was barely listening to Nurse Joy’s explanation, mostly just trying to guess what color panties she wore.
My money is on pink.
“Y-y-you cheater!” He screeched once more. “You’re not allowed to do….that!” He held his finger out accursedly.
“Well, let’s check shall we?” I took out the literal Pokémon Rule Book. “Feel free to point out what rule I broke…..assuming you can read.” I said dryly.
He snarled in anger, grabbing at his last Poke Ball. “I’ll show you, come out, Butterfry!”
“Really? We agreed on a two on two. Now this is breaking the rules.” I crossed my arms. “I’m pretty sure this is considered assault with a Pokémon.” Since I didn’t agree to thisbattle, he was assaulting me, or so I think.
“The last one doesn’t count!” He screeched in his annoying voice. “You cheated, and I’ll show you this time!”
I just sighed again. “Sir Wiggles, use headbutt.”
“Hah, like I’d fall for that! Butterfree, take to the skies!”
“I never said towards your Butterfree.” I pointed out.
“What are you –“ His eyes bugged out of his head. “OoOOoooooooooohhhhh.” He let out an extremely high-pitched noise, Sir Wiggled slamming right into his groin.
He fell over, eyes rolled back.
I looked at his Butterfree, his butterfree looked at me, at his trainer, then at Sir Wiggles. It casually flew down, pressed its Pokeball and returned itself.
“K.O.” I deadpanned, walking over to his twitching form. I reached into is pocket, taking out his wallet and pilfering all his cash.
I stood there, looking at the sunset in the distance. I stretched my arms, Magikarp floating to my side, and Sir Wiggles hopping back onto my head. “And this is the start of our Pokémon Journey!” I declared as we attained our first true victory.
“Ooooooh, mommy.”
“Quiet.” I hissed back towards the idiot bug trainer. “You’re ruining the moment!”