Chapter 178 (Patreon)

Arrows – like beams of light – cascaded from the sky. The first had missed up, sundering the ground and carving out a crater. We all had moved almost immediately; the feeling of a Noble Phantasm activating was known to all of us at this point.

Even Kairi looked to d something, taking a skeletal hand out of his jacket. It looked Ancient at a glance, possibly a trump card on his part.

I pulled him back, taking out my Staff of Magnus, and slamming it on the ground. “Shield of Asgard.” I spoke the Aria, actualizing the dozens of Runes that flew out at my movement. At this point, I was pretty experienced with this particular spell.

Both Mordred and Raikou became enveloped in their respective Mana Bursts – their lightning auras as they shot up to intercept the arrows.

I could feel my Shield being barraged, the strain of each arrow as they collided with my strongest defense spell. I was confident though, this spell held up against Lancer’s Noble Phantasm, and that thing took out a mountain.

I would guess that each of these Arrows was probably less than a hundredth of Lancer’s attack. The only issues was – they didn’t seem to be stopping. It would be a foolish endeavor to try and count them, as they fell down like rain.

No cracks formed in my spell, supported by the Divine Staff, and my runes, but I could feel the continued impacts even as Mordred and Raikou took some of the brunt.

“Master.” Raikou slammed onto the ground next to us, looking over me. “Are you okay?”

“I’m good.” I nodded as the arrows finally ceased their torrent. I noticed, not too far away, Archer jumping across some particularly large pieces of the Fortress and going in a certain direction.

And I do not believe I was the only one.

“Fucking bitch.” Mordred spat out, hefting her sword up in annoyance. “Uses her Noble Phantasm and runs away as soon as she can.”

“Clearly an Anti-Army Noble Phantasm.” I muttered, looking over the area that was now filled with craters. “By the looks of it, she didn’t think it would be enough if she was so quick to retreat like that.”

Anti-Army doesn’t always mean ‘more powerful’ when compared to, say, Anti-Unit. In regards to scale of Destruction, Archer’s Noble Phantasm was quite powerful, but each of her Arrows was negligible in of itself. Excalibur, for instance, would obliterate a person just as well as a fortress. Whereas this Noble Phantasm was more likely very on the nose when called ‘Anti-Army’ as in its purpose is to take out armies, not individuals.

“We’re being led.” Kairi spoke up. “Using her Noble Phantasm and herself as ‘bait’, they want her to follow her.”

“That was my thought as well.” I nodded at his words. “But, that works out for us in the end.” There was a reason I didn’t take us closer to the Fortress when coming to this desolate field. First, it’s a Noble Phantasm, so I’m going to be wary of it, even if it’s in pieces like this. Second, it’s the Workshop of a Caster servant if my guess was accurate. Not to mention it’s clearly something from the Age of Gods based on everything we’ve seen so far.

I had a healthy respect for things that could alter natural laws with the ease of a single word. Things that held the conceptual weight to even contend with True Magic in the correct circumstances.

Flicking my wrist, I took a few pot shots in the direction of the cat-girl to make it seem like I was annoyed at the Archer Servant. “Shall we follow?”

“Trap or not, doesn’t matter.” Mordred grunted. “Just cleave through them all anyways.”

“I like your attitude.” I grinned. “Let’s go.”

***

The Archer servant’s actions became more and more clear as we delved deeper into this field of debris, until we came upon a particularly large chunk that seemed to look like a gate. Though, it was heavily tarnished, and destroyed in many places.

However, the fluctuations ‘space’ and Magical Energy were enough to reveal that it was still operable.

I made sure to recast all my enhancement spells. My aura pulsed gently around me, a gentle feeling that I could always rely upon. Lightning coated my arms and legs, giving me a feeling of power that I quickly surpassed.

“All together?” I offered.

“Yeah.” Kairi nodded, even grasping his own life-saving means if needed.

As soon as we stepped inside, I felt a pull on everyone. Like they were all going to be whisked away to separate places.

I scoffed, reaching out to the Kaleidoscope and anchored them to the same spot on the world-line as I was. To force my specific ‘teleportation’ to envelop them as well.

We all tumbled out onto the ground, and I reached out to take a handful of dirt, letting it fall out of my fingers.

“The Hell?” Kairi Cursed, standing up and looking around. “What is this?”

They all looked around as well, the ‘place’ we found ourselves in was……strange.

“The owner of this place tried to separate everyone with teleportation, I made sure we all stuck together.” I stated, sweeping my gaze towards the surroundings. “I did not expect the inside of this place to be its own miniature world though, even as…….strange as it is.”

To the side, there were these marble pillars that went off into the distance, unable to see as shadows enveloped the horizon. In the opposite direction were plateaus and small mountains that littered the landscape.

Where they met was complete chaos. Like a child broke up pieces of each and threw it back together. Pillars came down from the sky, the ground became a wall, and the sky was the floor in some places.

It was all jumbled up.

I’m probably to blame for this. My spell having destroyed a portion of the Fortress, as well as the owner probably trying their best to keep it all together in the end.

“Master!” Raikou suddenly shouted, drawing her sword. It wasn’t just her, Mordred too reacted quickly to grab her master.

I took out Mirage as a green blur shot towards me.

Raikou lashed out with her sword, only for a familiar shield to block it.

My eyes widened as Achilles drove his chariot right into me, shield easily deflecting Raikou’s attack. The speed at force of it made my Aura shudder under the weight.

I forced my Aura out at its maximum, shielding me fully as even the Horses that pulled the chariot looked ready to trample me. I hadn’t gotten a good look at them before, but they were definitely not normal horses.

I slashed my sword, pushing myself to the side to avoid the worse of it. It only took half a breath to regain my footing as his Chariot jutted around in the sky like a flash of light.

That speed was utterly ridiculous.

My eyes darted to the side to see fireballs composed of Divine fire raining down on me. Raikou’s eye-catching purple lightning intercepted, causing the two elements to disperse at impact.

Lancer of Red made his appearance. “The Witch said she would send you to me.” He said with a small smile towards my Servant “Even after what happened, she is still too arrogant and looks down upon Modern Magic.” He eyes gazed at me briefly before shaking his head.

Ah, so they were sending us to specially prepared traps then. Makes sense and was probably what I would do in that situation as well.

“Well, I do enjoy ruining other people’s plans.” I joked, eyes still trying to follow Achilles as he stared down at me in the sky.

“Oi, gold ass.” Mordred raised her sword. “You forgetting about us!?” She clearly did not like being ignored in situations like this.

“We did not.” He replied almost good naturedly. “You were supposed to be sent to another battlefield.” As soon as the words left his mouth, the space around us trembled, several more figures teleported in.

“Honorless Kur!” Vlad’s voice echoed out in the surroundings. He did not look all too pleased and I briefly wondered what he’d been up to as grabbed his spear tightly in his hands, and his face twisted back in a snarl. He paused in his rage filled shouts to look at the surroundings, eyes landing on me and sweeping everywhere else. “I see.” Is all he muttered, seemingly accepting the circumstances.

Well, as I would expect from a King. It was a simple, yet practical strategy to place two enemies in the same room. He was able to read the situation immediately.

He wasn’t alone either, his whole entourage was here.

There was a small silence that was broken by Achilles, surprisingly enough. “Teacher!?” His voice sounded a mix of surprise and shame.

“Achilles.” Chiron gave a sad smile.

The looks they shared, it was clear they had many – many things they wish to say to one another, yet neither took the opportunity to do so.

You raised a good student, Chiron.

“And Atalanta, if I’m not mistaken.” He glanced to the side and I noticed the Archer skulking in the shadows.

She didn’t hesitate to pop out onto a nearby pillar that jutted out of the air in an awkward manner. “Chiron, It’s been awhile.” She greeted with a rather polite tone.

“It has.” He nodded. “I had not seen you since –“

“Please don’t mention that idiot.” She scowled.

“Of course.” He held his hands up in appeasement. “I know how my other student in a sore spot.”

She seemed grateful. The only person I could think of was Jason, but I fear I’m missing some context here.

Atalanta, huh? That makes sense, even if her legend wasn’t quite accurate about the whole ‘cat girl’ thing, though I suppose it’s supposed to be a lion girl?

Well, Greeks were into some weird shit.

“And like that, all identities are revealed, except for you, pinkie.” I glanced at Black’s rider. Though I still have yet to see either side’s caster. That did give me a small bit of worry.

“Oh, I’m Astolfo.” The rider servant beamed, making everyone pause and stare at them.

“Dammit Rider.” Vlad face palmed.

{Master.} Raikou spoke to me through our link. {I will fight together with you.} She declared, but even through this mental link…..it sounded strained.

{Raikou, as your master, I order you to fight Karna to the best of your ability.} I decided to let her pursue her own desire here, even if it was one born from her heritage and not her own wants.

She looks at me with a strange look. Like she was both happy I told her to do so, but aghast at the idea of leaving me int his situation again.

{Trust me, I have one final card to play.} I tried to sooth her conscious.

{I will trust in my son.}

The whole place was filled with this tense air, like everyone was waiting for someone to make a move. How comical, that a war between two factions had devolved into a free for all like this? I wondered how the War would have gone without my interference before pushing such thoughts down.

“How about we –“ My words died in my mouth as everyone moved.

Arrows flew out from both ends, some at me, some at either side as well. Chiron and Atalanta seemingly stalemating each other.

Raikou exploded off the ground, her Lightning weaved around her whole body, her Mana Burst crackling as it collided with Karna’s divine flames. The eruption of opposing elements pushing anyone else in that immediate vicinity away.

I summoned the Boosted Gear on my hand, using it as a shield to once again block Achille’s spear, while Mirage was held aloft to intercept Siegfried’s blade.

“Boost.” I quickly called out to meet these two powerful servants without being overwhelmed.

Mordred Shot at Astolfo, the pinkette, laughing the entire time, even as his lance was swept to the side at every blow.

Chiron was forced to divert some of his attention towards his companion as they would not be overwhelmed by the large gap in physical ability.

My other Sword flashed out at both Achilles and Siegfried.

They disengaged, deflecting them with relative ease, only for Vlad to jumped in, swinging down his spear ontop me. I swung up Mirage to intercept, bracing myself for the force, but I was surprised at how easily I managed to block before realization set in.

“This isn’t your territory.” I grinned. “Your Enhancement only works when you’re in your territory.” My back foot slid out, and I gathered Magical Energy into my sword. I deflected his sword to the side and made a move to follow up.

“One Hundred Birds.” My sword Phantoms manifested. the Impaler snarled, swiping his hand to bring out his own Stakes.

There was much less, and their overpower was greatly diminished, but it was enough to tear apart my attack. The Magical constructs that took on the concept of stakes had pierced through them.

Achille’s Shield swung at my head in that brief moment, the weight behind it once again felt like the world was going to collide with me. All the while Siegfried swiped his sword at me with gathered power. His Dragon Slayer sword practically shouting for my blood. Each of the blows made my knees buckle under the sheer force, even as I blocked them.

I was ready for his shield this time, and my Boosted Gear didn’t suffer any damage as I withstood the force.

Even still, I felt the ripples of power through my Aura.

“Enough.” I spat out. “Fus Ro Dah!” I bellowed out, the invisible force rippled into my surroundings, knocking them back to give me a moments respite.

They were certainly coming at me with full force.

“Ddraig.” I called out, the gem on my Gauntlet lighting up. “Let’s end this.”

“[Finally.]” The Dragon’s voice was filled without absolute glee.

The fluctuations of Aura around me pulsed and I could feel my ‘presence’ enlarge to a certain degree. I grabbed the attention of the whole chaotic battlefield as my power began to skyrocket.

“What is this…” Vlad choked out.

“His Dragon aspect is being amplified” Siegfried gripped his sword tight, readying himself.

I grinned viciously at his words.

“Welsh Dragon Balance Breaker.” We spoke as one and the world was dyed in a crimson light.

***

Non-canon Omake. Wilhelm Attorney at Lawn round 2 Part 2.

The Judge slammed his gavel down, quieting the courtroom. “This court is now in session.”

There was a lot of buildup between when I first came and now, but I wasn’t really paying attention.

I’m sure it wasn’t anything important.

I took out my phone and started going through my pictures.

“Hey.” Loki whispered, elbowing me.

“What?”

“Pay attention.” He hissed.

“Yeah, yeah.” I ignored him, still scrolling through some pictures to pass the time.

“Hey!” He hissed again, elbowing me a little harder.

“Wanna see?” I grinned.

“What in the Nine Realms is so damn interesting that you’re ignoring my trial.” He whispered with a little bit of venom in his voice.

I tilt my phone over for him to see.

He rolled his eyes. “How uncouth.” He said dryly. “Yes, it’s a naked women, how humorous.”

“From last night.” I smirked.

“Do you want a trophy?” He scoffed, glancing down again. “Though….she does look familiar. Do you have one of her face?”

“Nah, just a few shots like this…..or if you want to see something more….intimate.”

“Absolutely not.” He scowled.

“Mr. Schweinorg.” The judge’s voice overtook the room. “Are we boring you?”

I cleared my throat, putting my phone away. “No your honor.”

“Then why do you have your phone out in my courtroom?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Well your honor….” I straightened my tie. “I’m already having to work from scraps here to build a defense, I needed some access to the internet. You wouldn’t want this case to be retried because of my incompetence, right?”

His narrowed his eyes. “And how exactly was this ‘helping your case’?” He raised his gavel up towards me.

“It involved Loki’s mom.” I replied without hesitation.

“What!?” Loki stood up, slamming his hands on the table.

“Loki Odinson, sit down!” The Judge yelled as all the guards raised their weapons.

There was a furry in his eyes, and I couldn’t for the life of me place it. But he sat down all the same, promising death with his glare.

I wonder who he hates so much?

“I will tentatively allow this, Mr. Schweinorg.” The Judge grunted. “Do not abuse this privilege. Any other time, I would have you in contempt for such a thing.”

“I’m going to kill you.” His whispered words like knifes into my ear.

“Someone got up on the wrong side of the bed.” I hummed. “You know who also –”

“One more word.” Loki Interrupted. “One more, I dare you.”

Hmm.

I don’t like being threatened.

“Your honor, I would like to call Loki Odison to the stand.” I stood up, pointing at my client.

“What?” Loki blinked. “I wasn’t prepared for this? Aren’t we supposed to have a back and forth about what questions you’re asking?”

“You’ll do fine, I promise.” I pat him on the shoulder with a smile.

“I am not filled with Confidence.” He drawled.

“That’s strange, I’m usually a pretty good liar.” I appeared thoughtful.

He started walking towards the stand then stopped. “Wait, what?”

“Go.” I shooed him forward.

Loki growled but still moved towards the witness chair.

“Loki Odinson.” The Judge asked as he placed his hand on a Bible. Which was odd to ask a Norse God to do. “Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the whole truth, so help you God?”

“I swear to tell the truth in my name, yes.” He said dryly.

The judge let out a sigh. “That’s fine. The Defense may proceed.”

I happily jumped to my feet. “Loki Odinson.” I grinned, looking at him. “Is it true you once – “

“I did not have intercourse with a horse!” He slammed his fist on the bench, cracking it.

The courtroom got silent.

“….what?” The Judge questioned.

“Can we ignore that – very strange – outburst from my client?” I asked.

“Proceed.” The Judge rubbed the bridge of his nose. “And Mr. Odinson, no more outburst like that.”

“As I was saying.” I clapped my hands. “Loki Odinson, is it true you once coveted the throne of Asgard?”

“Of course.” Loki said without hesitation. “It is mine by right.” He eyes darted towards Thor who watched from the corner. “And I would have been a much better king than my oaf of a brother.”

“Interesting.” I nodded my head. “Then why come to Earth? Is there something here you wanted?”

Loki visibly scoffed. “Of course not, what would a God like me want from this ball of dirt?”

“So these – ” I swept my hand around the room. “—Humans are beneath you? You didn’t intend on conquering Earth to build up an army and take Asgard?”

“You mortals trying to siege Asgard?” Loki actually laughed. “I guess meat shields would be beneficial to any army I roused.”

The people in the courtroom got angry, even the Jury look rather put off by his statements.

I glanced at the Prosecution who seemed just baffled at my line of questioning. I straightened my tie again.

He was trying to play chess while I was over here playing Mario Party.

And everyone knows that Mario Party is complete and utter bullshit.

“So if I’m getting this straight, you attacked Earth for the hell of it?”

“I am a God. Stepping on ants is not something I do for fun, just a hazard of my existence.” He turned up his nose.

“Mhmm.” I nodded. “And why did you come to Earth?”

“Pardon?”

“Loki Odinson, why did you come to Earth in the first place?”

“I…..” He looked blank for a moment. “I do not need to reveal my intentions to this group of primates. I will not be judged by you mortals!”

Again, everyone turned to him with complete contempt.

“Wonderful.” I replied. “One final question.” I withdrew a rolled up piece of Parchment from my pocket, unfolding it for everyone to see. “This is a picture of a Hors—”

A dagger flew by my face, stabbing through the parchment and impaling it on the nearby wall. Followed by a handful of similar looking daggers.

There was silence again.

“Brother!” A hammer came flying through the air and smacked Loki in the face.

And all hell broke loose.

***

“Order!” The Judge slammed his gavel down several times. “I will have order in my court!”

Everyone began to settle down.

“That was a stupid move, Loki.” I shook my head. “All my work may have just been for naught. But I can’t believe how thoroughly they checked you for anymore concealed weapons. I mean, I know I suggested a full body cavity search, but I didn’t expect them to go through with it.”

“Mmmppfh” Loki wiggled around in his restraints, mouth gagged, a fire in his eyes. All with Magical restraints added on, courtesy of Thor of course.

“It’s okay.” I pat his shoulder. “I don’t expect you to understand my brilliant plan. Maybe when you graduate from an apprentice into an actual sorcerer, I can fill you in.” I gave him a good natured smile.

“MMMPFPMFMFP!” He clearly was touched by my words.

“Now.” The Judge addressed this courtroom. “Once again, I will iterate that this is a highly unusual situation, as we’re taking an unusual approach.” He turned towards the Prosecution. “Would you like to cross examine the witness, Mr. Walker?”

“Um….no your honor.” The Prosecution still looked a bit unsure of my scheme. “The Prosecution rests.”

“Okay.” The Judge nodded. “You may call your witness now.”

“Yes your honor.” Walker stood up. “The Prosecution calls Thor Odinson to the stand.”

“Oof. This does not look good for you, Loki.” I pursed my lips. “Well, at least you won’t have to worry about dropping the soap. I’m sure you’re used to worse things.”

I ignored his muffled shouts.

The God of Thunder walked up, taking his place at the witness’s seat just like Loki. Going through the same song and dance, if just a bit more polite.

“Mr. Odinson.” Walker addressed the God of Thunder. “Can you tell the court, in your own words, what it was like growing up with Loki?”

“Well…..” Thor scratched his cheek. “We are centuries old, it would take me many days to regale you all with tales of our youth.”

“Let me be more specific then.” The Prosecutor clarified. “Did your brother ever do anything…..mean?”

“Mean?” Thor looked surprised by the question. And I could tell he had no idea what was going on as this was probably his first look at our legal system. “Yes, I do remember one particular instance. When we were children, there was this time and Loki transformed himself into a snake. I, loving snakes as I do, when to inspect the creature in my arms. Holding it close to me, he transformed back and went ‘Nyahhhhh!’ before stabbing me with his knife.”

All eyes turned to Loki who looked rather proud of himself.

Walker looked happy as well at Thor’s words. “And were there similar incidents during your childhood?”

Thor looked thoughtful. “Ah I remember quite a few.” He smiled. “There was the time he tried to drown me. The time he pushed me infront of a galloping horse. The time he tripped me off a waterfall. Oh, and there was the time he shot me in the arse with an arrow.”

“Objection, your honor.” I called out.

“Under what grounds?” The Judge asked.

“Under the grounds that this is bad for my defense.”

The judge looked unamused. “Proceed.” He said dryly looking back towards the Prosecution.

“Sorry Loki, I tried.” I shrugged.

I’m sure his muffled screams were words of encouragement.

I just kind of ignored the next hour or so of testimony by Thor. Instead, I took out my phone again and began playing on it while Sir Wiggles handled this part. He would keep me abreast of any important turn of events.

“Hey Loki.” I nudged my client when a question popped into my head. “If you were able to magically conceal some knives on you, why did you just escape during the chaos with your magic since it wasn’t sealed away?”

He turned his head to look at me then slammed it on the table.

I pat his shoulder again. “It’s okay. We all made those kinds of mistakes when we were at that level. You have nothing to be ashamed of. When you become a master, you’ll be able to look back and laugh at this.”

“MMMMPPPPPFFFF” He cried out.

I was proud of him, he was already able to laugh so hard at the situation that he began to cry.

“Defense.” The Judge called out.

“Yes, your honor?” I perked up.

“It’s your turn to cross examine the witness.” He gestured to Thor.

“Of course.” I smiled, getting up from my seat again. I walked up, leaning against the witness chair. “Thor Odinson.” I greet politely. “Big fan.”

“Oh, it’s nice to meet fans.” Thor gave a smile reminiscent of Thorum.

“Indeed.” I nodded. “I’m a bit of a Sorcerer myself. I even have a lightning spell that I named after you.” I was only gushing a tiny bit.

“A spell named after me?” Thor looked surprised. “I am flattered.”

“Well, just needed to get that out of my system.” I ran a hand through my hair. “Well, how about a question, eh?” I gave a small chuckle, one shared by him. “Thor Odin, would you please tell us, in your own words, how you would describe your brother?”

“Describe Loki?” Thor questioned again. “Well, I suppose cunning would be the best description. Even when we went of foolish quests and might have otherwise met our ends, Loki often saved us by his cunning mind.”

“Cunning.” I Repeated, a bit louder, turning towards the Jury. “The man who had been stabbed by his brother as a child, called him cunny.” I gestured to the God of Thunder.

“And Thor.” I continued. “What part of his plan in taking over the world was ‘cunning’?”

“I….don’t quite understand?” Thor seemed lost.

“His plan, for conquering the Earth. Can you please point out the cunningness of it? To get an alien army to attack a single city, to target a single group of people and focus so intently on them that they were able to defeat said army? Which part of this plan was ‘cunning’? How about a more recent example, what cunning man would openly mock the very people where going to judge him?"

“Objection your honor!” The Prosecutor jumped up. “He’s leading the witness.”

The Judge turned to me. “Schweinorg.”

“I’ll be more direct with my questions.” I waived it off. “Thor, how would you go about conquering the planet?”

“Me?” He looked thoughtful. “As just a thought…..I would besiege your industries of produce. Your planet does not have access to resources outside your race. You have no alliances, no talks with other species. Your people have yet to truly leave your own atmosphere. We are a long lived race, we could simply wait you out while removing your sources of sustenance.”

There were murmers amongst the crowd.

“Schweinorg, you better be going somewhere with this.” The Judged grumbled.

“I am your honor, I would like to request a little leeway here.”

The Judge let out a sigh. “I’ll allow it.”

“Good.” I nodded. “As I was saying. Based on your words, we can accept that Loki’s plan was not the most brilliant one he’s ever come up with?”

“I would say – no.” Thor agreed.

“So a plan to conquer an entire planet, an entire species was – rushed? Hafl-hearted? Does this sound like the normal Loki to you?” I asked Thor again.

“When you say it like that, I agree that Loki’s actions are out of the norm.” He shot a look at his brother.

“It’s almost like –“ I turned to the Jury again. “He wasn’t in his right mind.” I declared. “As if he was being controlled!” I slammed my hand down on the bench.

“Object your honor, speculation!” The Prosecution rose up again.

“Sustained.” The Judge agreed. “Rephrase that, Schweinorg, or move on.”

“Very well.” I straightened my tie. “It’s public knowledge that Loki had a scepter that could control people’s minds. So, Thor Odinson, are you aware of where he procured such an item?”

“I…am not.” Thor admitted.

“So it’s unlikely he just picked it off the street.” He hummed. “If his own brother, whom had been stabbed by him in the past, admits that Loki was acting out of character, is it so hard to put two and two together here?”

“Objection!” The Prosecutor rose again. “It’s been noted that the Staff has to amplify certain emotions to successful control someone.”

“Yes yes, we all read the report for the trial.” I waived him off. “I will better explain.” I turned to Thor again. “Thunder God. You mentioned that Loki would often times…..bully you ad children, yes?”

“That is an adequate way of putting it.” He nodded.

“Pulling your hair, making fun of you, pulling pranks to get a laugh?”

“Aye, those were common occurrences.” He unconsciously reached for his hair.

“So, he had been seeking your attention has he not?” I turned towards the Jury once again. “Loki Odinson is someone who sought Thor’s attention ever since they were young.” I declared. “And has that ever changed since ‘growing up’?”

“Nay.” Thor confirmed. “These have become common occurrences throughout Asgard and no one questioned them anymore.”

“Very interesting.”

“Mr. Schweinorg, this is your last warning, you are getting off topic.” The Judge spoke up.

“Your honor, I am truly working towards something here.”

“Last warning.” He said again before ushering for me to continue.

I nodded at his meaning, my good will was running short. “Thor Odinson, has Loki ever showed an interest in a woman?”

“A woman?” Thor mumbled. “Aye, he once tried to court Lady Sif.” Thor seemed to reminisce at the memory. “It turned out with him dying her hair black with magic and unable to reverse the change. I believe she preferred it the darker color, but would never admit it.”

“Lady Sif, huh? And If I may ask, what is your relationship with this Lady Sif?”

“Well, we had a few flings over the years, but we had never remained together.”

“Mhmm.” I nodded along. “And his behavior towards her, did it start before or after you showed some attraction towards her?”

“Well it started…..” He looked blanked for a moment. “After I had expressed some interest in her. But I do not see how that is important.”

“Neither do I.” The Judge stated but didn’t stop me.

“Is it not obvious?” I once again addressed the entire room. “The Staff takes hold of strong emotions and twists them to turn the victim into a puppet. What more powerful emotion is there than love?” I turned towards Loki, giving him a wink.

His eyes widened in horror as he realized what I was getting at.

“Loki always wanted your attention.” I pointed towards Thor. “He got jealous when you sought out a companion.” I looked towards the Jury. “And what happened when you showed such good will towards this planet? He lashed out and tried to destroy it.” I decided to go for the killing blow. “It’s all because Loki Odinson is in love with you.”

“Loki…..” Thor looked utterly dumbfounded. “That impossible he…..” Thor paused. “But then we……” He looked lost. “And there was the time…..” He stopped again. “Dear Odin.” Thor whispered, turning towards his brother. “I’m so sorry Loki, I did not know.” Thor looked at his brother with sadness in his eyes.

“MMMMMMMMPPPPPPFFFFFF.” Loki visible wretched in his bindings. Even his Magical Energy began to try and tear apart the restraints he had on him.

“Brother, peace.” Thor stood up. “I promise we shall have a true talk about these feelings of yours. I am sorry I never noticed the signs before.”

Loki turned towards me with hatred in his eyes.

I smirked. “The Defense rests, your honor.” I walked back to my seat among the murmurs of the courtroom.

I even winked towards the cameras that were televising this across the entire world.

****

I leaned back in my chair, hands behind my head as the Jury began to read their verdict. “We, the People of New York, find the Defendant – Not Guilty of all charges levied against him.”

The court room erupted in shouts of indignation.

Even Loki, who was sporting many more restraints, looked at me with complete shock.

I let out a content sigh. “I’m good.”

“Brother!” Thor swooped over, quickly tearing off his bindings. “I knew there was reason for these despicable acts. We shall return to Asgard, and our Parents will help you work through all that ails you.”

“Release me you oaf!” Loki screamed. “I am not in love with you!” He snapped his head in my direction. “And you!!!” His hand lit up with a green fire. “I will turn your soul to –“

I snapped my fingers, dispelling his fire. “Go play somewhere else.” I opened a portal and deposited the two brothers outside the courtroom.

“Huh.” Someone walked up to me. “So, how’d you do it?”

“Tony Stark.” I pursed my lips. “What do I owe the pleasure?”

“Was it ‘magic’?” He wiggled his fingers.

“I am appalled you think I would stoop to such dishonorable means.” I huffed.

“Uh huh.” He didn’t believe me. “I don’t believe you. So, how’d you do it?”

“Eh, I Bribed the right people.” I shrugged.

“……” He looked speechless. “You know I’m going to have to tell someone, why the hell did you tell me that?”

“Pfft, go ahead. “ I snorted. “Tell the world that I bribed Nick Fury, Director of Shield.”

“For real? What could you possibly bribe him with? I have like – a bajillion dollars, and there’s no way in hell I could bribe him to not get justice for what Loki did.”

“Tesseract.” I stated.

“That’s where it ended up?” Tony looked annoyed. “I searched the entire planet for like a week, nonstop, and you had it the entire time!?”

“Yup.” I popped the last letter.

“God dammit.” He rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Still, didn’t think he’d let this happen. A lot of people are going to be upset he didn’t get in trouble.”

“Oh no.” I shook my head. “He still has to face Asgardian justice.

“Wait, so Loki still gets in trouble, we get the Tesseract……so this is a good thing?” Tony sounded conflicted. “I feel like this is a bad thing, but I can’t find any faults in it. So what was the point of this whole thing with Loki loving Thor, cause I met them both, and that’s complete crap.”

“Distraction.” I shrugged again. “People are stupid, they’ll latch onto this little tidbit more than the ‘innocent’ verdict.”

“I hate that I can’t argue with you.” Tony snorted. “But what’s the real reason?”

“Fuck Loki.” I crossed my arms. “Dudes an ass.”

“So you make the whole world think that Loki is in love with his brother?”

“Yup.”

Tony blinked, a smile forming on his face. “Hey, you got a card?”

I flicked my wrist, a card appearing between my fingers. “Wilhelm Henry Schweinorg – Attorney at Law.” I recited with a grin.

*** 

Feeling a bit better. Doctor confirmed that it was sprained with a nerve getting a bit aggravated or something. Been icing it all day so I felt comfortable enough to write this. I also wanted to finish up this third part of the Loki omake.