Chapter 109 (Patreon)

I was walking through the market, a small smile on my face as I just eyed everything around me. There were many stalls, some people hawking their wares, and some legitimates store fronts with opens doors, beckoning people to come and take a look.

It really was a big difference from the more residential and indstruial aspects, which would be expected, except there were plenty of smaller version of this happening here or there. If there was a demand, then there would be a need.

I doubt everyone living on the fringes of Vale would want to walk all the way here then back home for some light grocery shopping.

But I digress.

I was drawing attention, but I didn’t care so much right now.

“Isn’t that…”

“Wasn’t he a criminal, should we call the police?”

“I heard he killed a titan.”

“…is he single?”

I almost tripped hearing that that last whisper, it was an older woman…..a much older woman.

Nope.

I wanted to evacuate immediately after that, but something caught me attention out of the corner of my eye. I turned to look at a man siting at a stall, shirts hung everywhere, taking a few steps over, he seemed to notice me. “see anything you like, we have the latest—” He stopped, staring at me, then looking at one of his shirts hanging up. “Uh…..I didn’t mean anything by it?”

I walked up, staring him in the eyes, placing a hand on his shoulder. “You’re doing good work. I’ll take five.”

He turned around and quickly pocketed the money after I picked out a few sizes after eyeballing them. With my new prize, I made my way through the market for a little while longer, grabbing something here or there.

Saw a couple things I would be grabbing as gifts. Didn’t want to see Kunou again without getting her a little something.

My cute little daughter.

Honestly, I kind of want to see Yasaka again as well. Izzy, I wanted to hang out with her some more.

I couldn’t help but sigh as I thought about everyone I had been away from so far. I really want to complete my project and get my house connected everywhere. To have everyone know each other so I don’t have to keep jumping around when I want to visit the people I care about.

As I finished up and approached Junior’s club for the final time in the next few months, I stopped my moping, putting on a small smile.

“I’m back.” I pushed open the doors, announcing my presence. The familiar faces of the gang met mine, some half hearted acknowledgements.

It was sort of a ‘going away’ party, if it could be called that.

More like, sitting around and drinking until we had to skedaddle.

“Kid, we got an update.” Roman flilcked his hand in the air to grab my attention before pointing to Junior.

“Got a tip that Vale’s going to make an announcement in solidarity with Mistral later tonight.” Junior sighed, rubbing his eyes. “Didn’t think they’d do it this quickly.”

“Well, we prepared for the worst.” I shrugged.

“You have somewhere to go?” Miltia casually asked, though she didn’t do a good job of hiding that worry in her tone.

“I’ll go stay with my daughter and her mother for a little bit.” I waived her off. I would stop by before heading to Skyrim with Rin and Artoria.

“You have a daughter!?” Miltia’s shocked expression mirrored everyone else.

“Is that weird?” I asked.

“Damn, I have a granddaughter.” Roman lit his Cigar.

“You’re not my dad.” I deadpanned.

“Actually, I put the adoption papers through.” Roman retorted. “Wilhelm Torchwhick, it has a nice ring to it.”

“I’m 20 years old.”

“Hi ‘20 years old’, I’m dad.” Roman looked very impressed with himself.

“I hate you.”

“I know.” He smirked.

“Can we go back to him having a daughter?” Miltia interrupted, even Neo looking interested, poking Roman to stop his shenanigans.

“What?” I looked around. “Is that so weird?”

“Yes.”

“Yup.”

“Definitely.”

Neo gave a thumbs up.

“I don’t care.”

I rolled my eyes, taking out my scroll and revealing a picture of Kunou. It didn’t show her tails thankfully, just her floofy ears. I actually took a picture of my phone’s screen so I would have it on my scroll as well. Didn’t turn out bad at all.

“A faunus?”

“She’s too cute to be your daughter.”

“You actually convinced a woman to sleep with you?”

I looked around the room. “I’m feeling very attacked right now. And she’s not my daughter by blood, kind of got adopted by her awhile ago and this is how it turned out.”

“Yeah, figured since she looks atleast 10. Would be weird if you were the father.” Miltia admitted.

The other nodded in agreement as I gave a flat look. “Okay so you all just wanted to take shots at me. Why did I expect any different?” I put it away.

“Stop being a baby.” Miltia huffed, tapping her finger on the counter. “I wouldn’t be annoyed if you brought her around some time.”

“My club isn’t a daycare.” Junior grunted, but shrinked down when Miltia gave him a death glare. “Whatever.” He dropped it pretty easily. “Just don’t bring her around Roman, he’s a bad influence.”

“Pretty sure he’s racist.” Melanie added.

“I’m not Racist.” Roman defended himself. “I’m offended that you would think so low of me.”

“Aren’t you constantly saying racist shit towards Faunus?” Melanie asked.

“First off.” I set his cigar on an ashtray. “I do that on purpose because the majority of the Faunus we work with are involved with that white fang terrorist crap.”

“So you just do it to piss them off?” I looked at me.

The corners of his lips curled up. “Why else? Do you really think I would single out a race to target over one another?”

“That’s….a really fair point. You would definitely spout racist shit against humans if it had the same effect.”

“Glad you understand me, kid.” Roman nodded in delight.

“That being said, if I hear any of your crap around my daughter – if I ever bring her near you, which is very unlikely -- I will break your legs.”

“Oh wow, you really are a dad. You got that whole – “ He waived his hands. “Dad aura going on.” He stated, letting out a chuckle. “Don’t worry yourself, brat, I don’t go picking on kids for shits n giggles.”

Junior was liberal with the drinks, not that I would ever be paying here again anyways. I make sure to remind Roman of his little deal whenever possible. “By the way, I got going away presents for everyone.”

“Oh, kid, you shouldn’t have.” Roman spoke first. “I take cash or check.”

I took one of the shirts out of my ring and tossed it at his face. “So all can remember me fondly in these coming months.” I passed the remainder around.

“Really?” Junior held the shirt up to himself.

“I know, I didn’t think it was possible to make a T-shirt so sexy.” I shook my head, forcing myself to look away. “Junior, I hope you’ll use this newfound power of yours for good. To wear something that spectacular, panties will drop from just glimpsing it.”

“You’re the worst.” Miltia looked at her shirt.

“Going right in the Trash.” Melanie added.

“Well, I needed a rag for when I changed my car’s oil.” Roman nodded.

I looked at Neo, who was now wearing the shirt. “I knew it, you’re the best.” I gave her a thumbs up, she happily reciprocated.

They were shirts with my face plastered all over.

“You know, I suddenly feel like the club just got significantly more class…..weird.”

“Fuck off.” Junior snorted.

“Hehe.” I lightly laughed as he threw the shirt back in my face.

“As fun as this is.” Roman pushed his Cigar against the ash tray, putting it out. “I really want to skip town before they get smart enough to lock the city down.”

“That’s, probably for the best.” Junior nodded, with perhaps a tiny bit of sadness. I don’t think he would admit it, but he likes having people around like this.

“I guess I’ll head out too.” May as well. I had a few more things I wanted to check out here before departing the world for awhile, otherwise I was in the wind.

“Stop fucking pussyfooting around and go.” Miltia huffed, but at this point I could kind of read between the lines. She wanted me to get going before I ran into any trouble.

“Hug?” I offered, arms open.

She rolled her eyes. “If it would get you have of my hair faster.” She held her arms open as I swooped her up. She made a little noise in embarrassment before I let her go.

“I’ll see you in a few months.”

“Fine, Whatever.” She crossed her arms and turned away.

I felt a little tug on my sleeve, Neo was looking at me bashfull, holding her arms open. “Really?” I looked at her.

She tried her best to put on an innocent face.

“No stabbing.” I stated, holding my arms out, she pouted but gave a silent giggled and a quick hug. “We’ll stab people together later.” Felt like I didn’t get to know her much these past days, though we got along well all things considered.

That got a genuine smile from her.

“Sheesh, this mushy crap is going to make me sick.” Roman gagged audibly. “And whats up with you Neo, you don’t usually get attached that easily.”

Neo shrugged her shoulder before flicking her wrist. A wallet appeared in her hand as we all stared at her.

“You know what? Well done.” I admit my defeat there. It was a fake wallet, well, not really ‘fake’ but just something I picked up here randomly to store my Lien in so I wouldn’t have everything stored in my ring to retrieve.

Surprisingly though, she took it completely without my noticing

“Melanie.” I turned to the other twin.

“Fuck you.” She gave me the bird.

I nodded. “Fuck you too.” I replied, earning a small smile from her. Lastly. “Junior.”

“You were surprisingly….not the most annoying person I’ve ever had to work with.” Junior said with a certain amount of honesty in his voice. “That will always be Roman, though you are a in the top 10.”

“Top 10?” I asked. “Roman, I need tips on how to score higher.”

“Get the fuck out of my Club.” He snorted, though it lacked any kind of venom.

“What about me?” Roman feigned indignance.

“Roman.” I paused, trying to think of the correct words to say. “Your hat is stupid.”

“That’s it, you’re disowned.” He exclaimed.

We both sat there for a moment before chuckling.

“Kid, I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but – You are someone I have come to tolerate.” He practically choked up.

“Thanks dad.” I deadpanned.

“Any time, kiddo.” He shot me with a finger gun.

“Well, time to leave on that utterly low note.” Tossed the shirt back at Junior. “See you all, hopefully, in a few months.” I opened up a portal and left.

****

I stepped into the Forever Fall Forest one more time.

Definitely my favorite place on Remnant so far, I could easily see myself building a home out here.

Flipping my hand over, I took out the lamp, summoing my genie.

“Hello again.” Jinn greeted, stretching like she had been sleeping. “How may I service you, my master?” She smiled.

“You mean, be of service?”

“No.”

“Of course.” I didn’t even question it at this point. “Hey, is it uncomfortable being in my storage space while you’re in your lamp?”

She tilt her head at the question. “Hmm, I suppose that falls under my ‘uses’ technically.” She mused. “It is a strange feeling, like…..finding my house suddenly adrift in the sea without anything on the horizon.”

“I can keep Lamp out for now on if you want?”

“If that would not be too much trouble.” She seemed pleased.

“You know, you’re allowed to ask things of me. The worst that I can do is say no.” I didn’t want her to be afraid of me, it left a strange feeling in my stomach.

She smiled bright at that. “If that is what my master desires.” She walked up, touching the lamp. “The Relic has certain features to it.” She stated, as it began to shrink down to a size which I could fit in my palm.

“Well, that’s convenient.” I blinked at the small object now. “Makes me wonder if I can mess with it some more.” I rubbed my chin in thought. “The outer shell seems entirely malleable even with the concepts woven into its creation. Did your brother gods not think anyone would mess with it after it was created?”

“Is that a question?” The dry look she gave me basically confirmed my guess.

“They weren’t the most intelligent sort….were they?”

She let out an uncharacteristic grunt. “Is that a question?”

“I sense some hostility there.” I laughed. “But I do have a question to ask.

She perked up immediately, the area around us freezing in time. She played it up, magics floating around us, building up the atmophsere. “Ask your final question for this century.”

I thought of something. “Actually, I changed my mind.”

She just blinked, nodding as the effects around us dissipated.

“You know what? I actually will have that question now.”

Once again, time paused. “What is your –“

“Changed my mind.”

Time resumed.

“On second thought….”

Time paused.

“Nah, better not.”

Time resumed.

“Oh, I suddenly thought of –”

“NO!” She huffed, crossing her arms.

“Fine, I’m sorry.” I tried to appease her, perhaps I was bullying her too much just now. But she didn’t shake her annoyed expression. I walked up as she turned away, arms wrapping around her. “Jinn.” I lightly caressed her cheek. “Is there something I can do apologize?”

She huffed again, not answering.

“Jinn~” I whispered, next to her ear before they truly caught my attention. They were very cute, very pointy, I couldn’t help myself.

Nom.

“Hnn” She made a little sound, a squeak in surprise escaped her lips.

I paused, releasing her ear, looking down at her face which was turning a bright shade of red. “Oh my, are your ears sensitive?”

“I-is that a question?” She turned even redder. “I want to speak with Ddraig.” She changed the subject.

I raised an eyebrow, summoning the boosted Gear.

“[Hello, Jinn.]” Ddraig greeted happily.

“Hello, Ddriag.” Jinn was happy to return the greeting. It was probably something she wasn’t used to , an experience that was still novel. “ I have a question.

“[Oh, ask away.]”

“Is it possible to take things into that gauntlet?” She pointed at the boosted gear.

“[It is, do you wish to come and stay in here with me?]”

“Can I truly?” Her eyes lit up.

Huh, I didn’t think about that. “IF he agrees and that’s what you want.” I added. It would be a good way for her to have company instead of me keeping her in her Lamp all the time.

“[I have never had a roommate before.]” Ddraig seemed amused. “[Though, this is more of a prison for me, you would be sequestered to the side, unfortunately. But we will be able to speak when ever you wish.]”

Jinn looked excite at the prospect, and I’m glad it made her happy. “Does that mean I’m out of the dog house?”

She turned back at me, a small twitchon her lisp. “Ask your question.” She still turned slightly red.

“Alright, I won’t tease you anymore.” I put my hands up in surrender.

“Hmph” She raised her hands and time stopped again.

“[This is really a nice application of magic.]” Ddraig commented.

“Thank you.” She beamed again. “Atleast someone appreciates my effort.”

“Okay, I deserved that.” I admitted before getting serious. “Since we’re leaving soon, I figured I would see the origin of the Grimm.” It was on the old man’s list. He was curious how they came about, but at this point it was probably an easy to guess at who created them.

The familiar scene occurred, knowledge flooding the surroundings, conveying their contents in more than just words.

The brother gods.

It was the god of darkness who created them grimm. His motivations were hard to discern, I suppose I didn’t word my question as broadly to allow that.

It shifted as many types of grimm were created, some by hand, some mutations, and others surprisingly evolved over time or with a purpose. The older they became, the more intelligent until they cast off their ‘construct’ origins and became something akin to phantasmal species.

“Fascinating.” I made many mental notes until the visions shifted again.

A woman appeared on the screen, becoming the predominant focus. Red eyes, pale skins,cursed marks on her body. She stood above these huge pools of inky darkness as more grimm emerged in new shapes and forms.

Though only one thought crossed my mind.

“Step on me mommy.”

“What?” The scenes collapsed abruptly.

“[What?]”

“….What?”

****

Non-canon Omake The Time Variance Authority and why they don't bother Wilhelm anymore.

I paced around the room, tie straightened, clothes immaculate. “This is it, Sir Wiggles.” I glanced at my companion, sitting on the desk, his clothes also looking sharp. “This is the case that will make or break our careers.”

He twitched his nose.

“I know, but we have to do this.” I nodded. “I didn’t spend two weeks taking those online courses, getting a degree, just so I could hang it on my wall as a decoration!” I slammed my fist on the desk.

He twitched his nose again.

“Wise word, wise words” Truly my familiar was wise. “Put on your game face, Sir wiggles, we’re heading to the front lines.” I opened a portal, grabbing my rabbit.

We were going to the think of it.

The view changed abrupt, a courtroom filling our new surroundings.

“OBJECTION” I shouted, walking in abruptly, grabbing the attention of everyone in the room.

“What in the hels?” I looked at my new client who reacted shocked at my presence.

“Loki Odinson, I am your attorney for this kangaroo court!” I Declared at the utter dumbfounded looks of the judge and apparent bailloffs.

“What!? Who are you!?” The judge shouted as several people came running at me.

“Wilhelm Henry Schweinorg, Attorney at Law!” I snapped my fingers, portals opening up at the charging men, strange ‘weapons’ in their hands, as they fell into other dimensions.

“What!?” The judge shouted again.

“The TVA, Time Variance Authority, I have heard of your miscarriages of justice.”

“Who are you?” She asked again.

“I am Wilhelm Henry Schweinorg.” I reiterated. “Master of the Second True Magic, operation and manipulation of parallel worlds.”

Her eyes widened, perhaps coming to some conclusions.

“What do you want?” She shifted slightly, I assume she was hitting a panic button, buying some time. No matter.

“I am here to preside over my client’s trial.” I gestured to Loki.

“I have no idea who you are either.” Loki pointed out.

“Quiet, Criminal.” I shushed him. “I’m bullshitting on your behalf.”

“That’s helpful.” Loki snarked.

“Now, we’re all on the same page.” I threw Talisman at the door, sealing it shut as people began to bang on it, much to everyone’s shock.

“How? My magic isn’t working here!” Loki looked aghast.

“Your honor, I would like to put it on the record that Loki is an amateur and has no idea how to use magic.”

“What!? I am a god of magic you mortal; I know more about magic than you can even conceive!”

“Your honor, my client wishes to push an insanity plea.”

“Insanity!?”

“For my first witness, I call Loki Odinson to the stand.” I snapped my finger, bringing out a witness booth next to the judge’s stand.

Suddenly, Loki fell through the floor, a portal opening above the new seat and he fell through.

The judge almost reeled back by the sudden intrusions.

“I can walk you buffoon!” He readjusted himself.

“Your honor, permission to treat the witness as hostile.”

“Hostile, I’ll show you hostile –”

“Granted.” She surprisingly said.

“Loki Odinson, is it true you once turned into a horse to entice another horse to mount you?”

“THOSE ARE FILTHY LIES MY OAF OF A BROTHER’S FRIENDS MADE UP.” He vehemently denied.

“Your honor, let the record state that my client had intercourse with a horse.”

“WHAT, NO!”

“Loki is a known Liar, presume everything he says is a lie.”

“That’s bullshit!”

“See, he just admitted it.”

“I’m going to stab you.”

Just then, the talisman on the door finally ripped, and another slew of guards ran inside. Their strange staffs glowed as one tried up and tried to stab me with it. Expectance on their faces turned into confusion as nothing happened, a small iridescent ripple covered me.

“Are you trying to purge me from the time line? What part of Magic that manipulates parallel worlds did you not understand?” I looked at the judge again.

I snapped my fingers, the newcomers falling into a new batch of seats, a jury bench off to the side, quickly sealed up to not allow movement.

“Finally, our jury is here.” I walked up to the people that would decide my client’s fate. “Now, I know what you’re all thinking, why is Loki Odinson innocent?” I gave them all a look. “Well, he’s not, and we all know that.”

“You are the worst attorney I’ve ever seen.”

“Some of us take the oath to speak the truth seriously!” I chided him.

“THAT’S ONLY FOR WITNESSESS.” Loki practically lost his composure.

“Oh…..I knew that.”

“Are you even an attorney?”

“Got my online degree yesterday.” I puffed up my chest.

“Sweet Odin, send me to Niflheim now.”

“As I was saying, Loki is innocent of all charges levied against him.” I slammed my fist on the bench. “There’s no way he molested that horse, it was concensual!”

“I never thought I could hate someone so much that I’ve only know for a few minutes.” Loki whispered.

“If the horse dick doesn’t fit, you must acquit!”

“Seriously, hand me a knife, I’ll kill myself right now, save everyone the trouble.”

“Do you even know what charges Loki Odinson is facing?” The Judge spoke up again, clearly regaining her composure.

“Okay, honestly, I’m kind of winging it here.”

“Loki is charged with creating a branching timeline, potentially destroying the sacred timeline and starting a multiverse war.”

“Wow.” I looked at Loki. “Yeah, fuck this guy.”

“Really, after all that?” Loki looked at me dryly.

“You’re right, even if you are a piece of shit, I took an oath to defend you.” I straightened my tie again. “Your honor, I request we strike the previous conversation from the record.”

“No.”

“Welp, I tried.” I shrugged. “I guess you’re going to jail, Loki.”

“We don’t have jail. Punishment is immediate purging.”

“That seemes a bit excessive, he only fucked one horse.” I pointed out.

“I DID NOT HAVE SEX WITH A HORSE!”

“Loki.” I looked at him. “You can admit it, I’m going to judge you for it either way.”

“I’m going to dance on your corpse.”

“Oho, get in line.” I chuckled. “Don’t worry, I have one finally card to play.”

“I doubt it.” Loki rebuttaled.

“No, my partner is an expert, he actually went to law school and didn’t pay someone in lewd feet pics for a fake degree.”

“That seems like an oddly specific thing to say.” Loki reeled back. “Where is this vaunted partner of yours then?”

“Sir Wiggles, the floor is yours!” I gestured towards the magnificent rabbit on the table.

He bounced back and forth, wiggled his butt and twitched his nose.

“Well said.” I wiped a tear from my eye. “you always know how to make a moving speech. I didn’t think I would ever feel sympathy for Loki, horse fucker.”

“Word cannot describe the degree of which my anger burns for you right now.”

“This is getting rediculuos.” The judge stood up. “Who do you think you are, we –”

My scroll beeped. “Oh, looks like it’s time.”

“Pardon?” She looked at me strangely.

I didn’t answer, the building shook as explosions erupted outside.

“Time to go.” I walked over, yanking Loki out of his seat and throwing him through a portal. I turned back to the scrambling TVA members. “You’re all stupid, your jobs are stupid, I find your existence an afront to everything I stand for. Good day.” I followed behind, portal closing right as I walked through.

Loki pushed himself up, sand falling down his face as the heat of the desert hit us.

“Well, that was a good distraction, nicely done.” I praised.

“Wait, you did all of that…..as a distraction?” He stood up. “So you could, blow them up?”

“Yup.”

“…..You, I like you.” He smiled mirthfully. “So, where do we go from here?”