Non-Canon Omake: Through the Looking Class Part 8 (Patreon)

“You smell weird.” The small not-cat-girl looked at me with her nose scrunched.

I responded with the grace and sophistication of an elder. “No you.”

“Why do you smell like Issei?” The Little Nekoshou Youkai Devil asked.

“Well, he’s my best friend, for some reason. Why is it weird if I smell like him. On that note, isn’t it weird that you’re smelling me so intently?” I proposed in response.

“Like a Dragon.” She spoke again, ignoring my retort.

“What’s wrong with Dragons?” Kunou frowned.

“Yeah, what’s wrong with Dragons? You make it sound like a bad thing. Don’t be racist.” I followed up.

“I’m not being racist!” She nearly hissed. “You – “

The Teleportation circle in the club room lit up and a familiar face appeared. The young Phenex boy what I recalled from the Underworld get together appeared.

Though, he looked rather….different. And that wasn’t because my last memory of his face was him screaming as I threw him out a window.

I think.

But he looked haggard and lifeless.

Like some oppai screaming idiot had somehow beat him up infront of the whole world.

Is it weird that I sort of felt bad for him?

“Where…..who are you?” Riser Phenex looked at me, furrowing his brow. “Wait, are you the bast – Lucifer’s Son?”

He caught himself, well color me shocked. “I am indeed Takao Shimoda.” I said without a  hint of hesitation. “And this is Kunou.”

“Hello!” Kunou waved.

“…okay.” He didn’t seem to care overly much.

“And these are the peerage members of my Aunt Rias, Koneko and Kiba.” I made sure to introduce.

“I know.” He deadpanned.

“Oh right, they did beat you in a rating game.” I nodded.

“They didn’t beat me, I won!” Rias seethed.

“Then how did the marriage get called off?” I questioned.

“Because…..” Riser slumped his shoulders and seemed to lose all will to defend himself.

Right, I feel bad for him.

“Maybe we should deal with the main concerns of why Riser Phenex is here.” Kiba spoke.

“Right, why are you here? If I got beat up by a kid who peeps on underaged girls changing, and shout about boobs every other word infront of the whole world, the last thing I’d want to do is show my face around here.” I nodded along with Kiba.

“Eww, he lost to that person?” Kunou scrunched her nose. “That’s sad….”

[Huh.] Ddraig’s voice echoed in my mind.

What’s up, Ddraig?

[I think this is the first time a Phenex ever contemplated if they could kill themselves.]

Hmm.

Kiba cleared his throat. “One of the issues was settling the dowry.”

Dowry? They still do stuff like that? Well then again, it was an arranged marriage. It’s kind of weird how ass backwards Devils can be in some aspects, but super progressive in others.

“You know what, just keep the dowry, it’s fine.” I waived it off. Honestly, with the bullshit the Gremory family pulled, I think he deserves to keep that.

For some reason, Riser let out a sigh.

Kiba coughed into his fist. “The Phenex family were the ones who paid a rather large dowry to the Gremory family.” Kiba then slid a piece of paper infront of me that listed the dowry and approximate cost of everything.

“…..oof.”

That has to be rather emasculating.

Kunou looked up at me. “…..why did they have to pay so much for him to get married?”

“Because some people are undesirable.” I responded.

Funny enough, Koneko was nodding along.

Riser Phenex had immaculate control of his emotions it seems. Or he’s just so heavily depressed right now that he couldn’t be bothered.

It was certainly one of the two.

“Since your side were the ones to unilaterally break the marriage agreement, we are requesting the dowry back.” Riser grit out.

I looked at the piece of paper that showed a few hundred Phoenix Tears listed as part of it. Don’t those take a lot of time and effort to produce and are super expensive?

Yikes.

He suddenly blinked, looking around. “Wait, where is Rias? Why isn’t she here talking about this with me?” His eyes darted everywhere and he seemed to be experiencing an onset of fear. “….is the dragon around too?” He asked in a whisper.

….me thinks he might have some lasting trauma.

“…..oppai.” I whispered and he visibly shuddered, taking a step back.

[Jeez, even I’m starting to feel bad.]

Are you sympathizing with him, Ddraig?

[I think I’m allowed to sympathize, considering.]

“Hey look, it’s Issei.” I pointed at the Door, creating an illusion of the idiot for Riser to see.

Riser turned to look, his eyes widening, his mouth opened and he let out a very high pitched scream before his eyes rolled back and he flopped down the ground.

“Pathetic.” Koneko emotionlessly deadpanned as she nudged him with her foot.

Well, if he wasn’t down for the count already, I think that would have been a K.O.

“I feel bad for him.” Kunou voiced.

“He wanted to make all of us join his harem.” Koneko hissed.

“….I feel less bad for him.” Kunou responded.

“Even the guys? There’s Issei, Kiba and….isn’t there a dhampir?” I asked, trying to recall everyone who was in Rias’s Peerage.

“He said that he wanted a ‘femboy’.” Koneko said dryly.

“….oh.”

“What’s a femboy?” Kunou looked at me.

“…..ask your mother.” I awkwardly replied before clapping my hands. “Alright, I know how to handle this.”

“How?” Kiba asked.

I just smiled.

@***@

“What’s this, where am I?” Riser nearly shot to his feet.

“Calm down Mr. Phenex.” I tapped my pen against my notebook. “We’re just going to have a little talk.”

Riser shook his head like he was still muddled. “….where’s the Dragon? Where are the others?”

“No one else here but you me and Ddraig.” I assured.

“You me and Who?” He squeezed out.

I gestured to Ddraig, rather, the Gauntlet sitting on the chair next to me.

“[Hello!]” Ddraig greeted.

Riser’s eyes widened in a silent scream, and he fell over again.

I may have sent him a little jolt to wake him back up. His body twitched and his eyes snapped open again and he immediately flew to the corner in panic.

“Where is he, the dragon!?”

“It’s just us here, don’t’ worry. Ddraig here is my assistant. Let’s start at the beginning. Where do you think everything went wrong in your life, Mr. Phenex?” I tapped my pen.

He seemed to calm down once he realized the Gauntlet wasn’t moving.

“What do you mean when everything went wrong in my life? My life is great!” He defended.

“Is it? Is it really?” I think I’m supposed to ask questions.

“What even is this? What are you doing?”

“Therapy!”

“….Do you even have any idea what you’re doing?”

“Mr. Phenex, I’ve done this plenty of times before.” I reassured him. “Ddraig can back me up.”

“[Yup, the brat’s been doing this for a long time.]” Ddraig metaphorically nodded.

“This is stupid.” He stood up. “I’m leaving.”

“You’re welcome to leave. It’s just….instead of me you’re going to have to deal with Rias and Issei will inevitably be at her side.”

He stilled and trembled with his hand reaching out towards the door.

Wow, Issei really messed him up, didn’t he?

Rather reluctantly, he moved to sit back down. “What do you want.” He breathed out.

“It’s not about what I want. It’s about what you want.”

“I want to leave.” He deadpanned.

“Nonsense. Let’s start over. Where do you think your life took a nosedive and you became a laughingstock among all Devil kind, Mr. Phenex?” I questioned again.

“My life is fine! I’m Riser Phenex! I’m the third son of the Noble Phenex house, do you have any idea how many Devils envy me?” He huffed.

“And yet, you got beat up by a pathetic reincarnated Devil not even two months into his Devilhood without enough power to even Teleport on his own.” I pointed out.

“That’s – Wait, he can’t even Teleport?” Riser’s eye’s widened.

“Nope.”

“But everyone can teleport! Even the most pathetically weak Devil can Teleport!”

“That is correct.” I agreed.

Riser’s jaw just hung opened as he seemed to contemplate his life even more. “Jesus Christ, I lost to a Devil that couldn’t even Teleport.” There was a visible jolt as he invoked the taboo name from his own mouth.

“There there, it’s okay.” I made sure to get up and pat his shoulder. “If it makes you feel better, I kicked his ass not an hour ago.”

“….didn’t you say you were his best friend?”

“That’s right, I – Takao Shimoda am Issei’s best friend for some inexplicable reason.” I made sure to reiterate to keep my perfect fake identity concealed.

“And you kicked his ass?”

“Yup! He cried like a bitch.” I nodded.

“I do feel better. Is this how Therapy works?” He smiled for the first time since I’ve met him

I shrugged. “Anyways, let’s move on. You lost, you’re kind of a laughingstock now.”

His shoulders slumped and he let out a sigh. “I won the Rating game!”

“True. And everyone with sense knows that you were done dirty by the Satans. But that doesn’t take away from the fact that Oppai boy kicked your butt infront of everyone.”

“[It’s really pathetic too. Why did you even accept a ‘fight’ from him? You already won, there was nothing to gain by it.]” Ddraig chimed in.

Riser opened his mouth. “What are you!?” he pointed at Ddraig.

“Listen, don’t mind the small stuff.” I quickly waived off his question. “Actually, you’re looking at everything wrong. You should be thanking Issei.”

“….why would I do that?” He hesitantly asked. “You realize that I lost all the prestige I built up? My confidence is gone, my peerage is….they’re looking down on my now. My sister idolizes that idiot and now my family is mad at me!”

“It could be worse.”

“How could it possibly be worse?”

“You would have gone through with the marriage.” I replied.

“….that was the whole point.”

“Yes, but let me paint you a picture. You have a wife who despises you, that is higher socially ranked, and will utterly control you.”

“But I’m stronger!”

“How much older than Rias are you?’

“A few years.” He said.

“And you barely beat her in the rating game.”

“….I wouldn’t say barely.”

“Alright, true that you had a proper victory, but realistically, how much could things have turned around If given a different set of circumstance? Credit where it’s due, the Power of Destruction isn’t anything to scoff at and you handled her tidily. But let me widen your perspective. First off, let me ask you a question, if you could describe Rias in a few words, what would they be?”

“Spoiled Princess.” He answered without missing a beat.

“Right, that’s a fair assessment.” I acknowledged it fully. “Tell me, as a spoiled Princess, how much do you think she ‘trains’?”

“….minimally if that.”

“How much do you train?”

“Less than I should, but more than her.” He grunted.

“Yet, you almost lost. You’re older, you trained more, and she had never participated in a Rating game before when you had ample experience at that point.” I spelled it out for him.

“….oh.” He quickly realized.

“Socially, she’s above you. Strength wise, she would most likely have over taken you.” I held up two fingers. “Do you know what the third strike is?”

“What?”

“Her brother is the strongest Devil to ever exist and would have erased you from existence if he could do so without causing any issues down the line because he’s a major siscon.”

“….isn’t he your dad?”

“As my Father, don’t you think I would know best?” I returned.

Riser’s expression changed after several moments of silence. “Did…..did I dodge a bullet?”

“You didn’t dodge a bullet, Riser Phenex, you dodged a god damn Nuclear Missile.” I clapped my hands. “Look, now you can choose who you can marry, right? Rias was bitching and moaning about her arranged marriage, but you were the third son compared to her being the heir to the Gremory family. Who here was forced.”

“That’s right! I was the one forced into an arranged marriage!” Riser clenched his fist. “I’m the one that’s free, not her! I never wanted to marry her! Having to deal with a Satan siscon as a brother in law!? And having to deal with her as a spoiled princess for the rest of my life!?”

“There you go, see? Issei did you a favor.”

“You’re right!” He shot to his feet. “I need to do something…I need to thank him.”

“[That’s exactly what you should do. Go thank Issei for breaking the marriage arrangement, publicly.]” Ddraig egged him on.

“Well….maybe you shouldn’t quite do that.”

“That’s a good idea, Dragon!” Riser agreed.

“[I have those from time to time.]”

Welp, I can say this isn’t my fault then.

“Riser is going to go thank him personally!”

“Don’t talk in the third person, it makes you look like a douche.” I quickly chided.

“Too much?” He looked at me.

“Way too much.” I nodded.

“Hmm.” He stroked his chin. “I admit, I was skeptical, but you really are a good Therapist.”

“Oh, I’m not a Therapist.”

He paused. “what?”

“What?” I repeated, tilted my head.

“You said you had a lot of experience doing this...”

“Yup.”

“….but you’re not a Therapist.”

“Nope!” I just smiled. “I just have a lot of issues that I have to work through.”

He blinked a few times and put his hands on my shoulders. “Takao Shimoda, you will forever be a friend to Riser Phenex. I’m free because of you and I don’t need worry about some Dragon and his Spoiled Princess anymore.”

“What about the Dowry?”

Riser snorted. “It’s a small price to pay for not having to marry her. Let them keep it.” He said nonchalantly. “As for the other stuff, it’s not important. My parents gave me authority to deal with it myself and I don’t care anymore.”

“Well, all’s well that ends well.”

Damn I’m good.

“This human school….if I recall, it’s also a human college?” He asked.

“…yes?” I vaguely recalled.

“Wonderful. I will see about enrolling. I’m curious about human society and if my new friend goes to school here, I want to spend time as well!” He smiled. “It will also give me the opportunity to thank that Issei Hyoudou properly for his help!”

….well then.

I’m sure it’ll be fine.

“Where is he!?” I heard the distinct shrill of my alternate Aunt’s voice as the door was pushed open with almost all of her peerage in tow.

Specifically, Issei was there was well. And surprisingly, Riser didn’t faint in fear at his sight like he did with a mere illusion just before.

I quickly scooped up the Boosted Gear as Riser walked over with confidence towards them.

“Riser, I don’t know what you think you’re doing –“ Rias was cut off as He ignored her completely, putting his hands on Issei’s shoulders.

Issei seemed taken aback by this just like everyone else.

“Issei Hyoudou, Thank you. Truly, I Riser Phenex thank you from the bottom of my heart for preventing my marriage to the Gremory. Know that this Phenex owes you a great favor that I will make sure to pay in the future.”

I spied Kunou behind the group and realizes this was a very good time to leave.

“What did you just say!?” Rias’s high pitched tone was rather clear even with my back turned.

A really good time to leave.