Non-Canon Omake: The Foolish Genius (Honkai: Star Rail) Part 1 (Patreon)

I looked out the window as the stars passed by.

I was riding a train through space, I don’t think I would ever forget this memory despite the fantastical sights I’ve witnessed in my long life.

“Thank you again. Honestly, when I asked, I really wasn’t expecting much.” I looked at the other ‘riders’ of the train.

“Did you think we don’t backtrack?” The Red-head, Himeko, the Astral Express’s navigator looked at me and chuckled.

“Well, I always hear how the Astral Express never stops going forward in the tales. Always pushing forward, trailblazing the paths that no one else will.”

That merely got a chuckle from them. “It’s hard to keep Trailblazing without supplies. We were getting ready to move on to our next Trailblaze as it were with a stop to Penacony. But we wanted to stock up before making a proper jump forward. Herta’s Space Station just so happened to be our destination for that, so it was no trouble taking a passenger along.”

“The money helps too.” The one named March nodded sagely.

“March!” Himeko covered her face.

“Well, one is expected to pay a fare when chartering a ride on a train.” I didn’t take offense. “Honestly, I’m grateful. This is a wonderful experience, and I’ve heard much about the Nameless and their recent journey through the stars.”

“Really, you’ve heard of me too?” The Silver haired girl looked intrigued.

“Of course. The tales of bludgeoned individuals and scoured trash cans are well know.” I nodded.

“Sweet!” She held up a peace sign while the others groaned and sighed. “Then you can call me by my official title, the Galactic Baseballer.”

“That’s not her title, ignore her.” Himeko sighed, running her hand down her face. “However, I suppose we should properly introduce ourselves. “I’m Himeko, here we have Stella, March, Dan Heng and Welt. And of course Pom-Pom is the conductor, but they’re busy at the moment.”

They all gave a polite nod my way.

“Charmed.” I politely bowed my head. “I am Wilhelm Henry Schweinorg, though you probably already knew that after doing a background check.”

“Actually, there was very little information I could find even with the services of Luofu. I only was able to retrieve some passing mentions of you working with the Genius Society.” Welt stated. “If you don’t mind me asking, where are you from, Mr. Schweinorg?”

“Oh, I’m from a small planet you probably never heard of. Funny enough people look at me and are like ‘you named your planet dirt’, but it was named Earth and –“

Welt’s cane scraped across the floor. “Come again?”

“Did I say something wrong?” Everyone was looking at me strangely.

“Your home planet….Earth?” Himeko repeated. “That is surprising to hear.”

“Why – “

“I am from Earth.” Welt stated bluntly.

“Oh?” I was genuinely surprised because…well, I didn’t really take the simple way to this universe. “Color me surprised, a fellow countryman. Though, I was born in Japan, where were you from?”

Welt clamped up clearing my throat. “Excuse me, I apologize. I was skeptical for a moment, but unless you have knowledge of Earth, you wouldn’t know the term ‘Japanese’ without prompt. This is….odd for me, I never thought I would mean someone from my home. Do….do you have the coordinates?”

“I apologize, I didn’t leave through….traditional methods. I have no idea how to reach there through the paths.” I said helplessly.

I wasn’t even sure there was an Earth in this universe until now.

Apparently, Welt here didn’t leave through traditional methods either.

“I see…..I thank you regardless. Knowing that there is someone else from my home here among us….it fills me with a sense of happiness.” He smiled rather grandfatherly. “If you don’t mind, I would like to speak later about home, it has been a long time since I have had someone to share those memories with.”

“I would be delighted.” Well, as a fellow Earther, I felt sympathy, so It wasn’t difficult for me to accept his request. “I’m curious about that Black Hole You’re carrying around in the form of a Cane just as well.” I chuckled.

He raised an eyebrow. “…not many people are able to see through it. Curious.”

Well, the atmosphere got a little awkward.

“So you’re with the Genius Society?” Himeko seemingly changed the subject. “I wasn’t aware you were a member.”

“Well, it’s a little nuanced. The Genius Society is technically only the main members that are rather well known….but they have quite a few people working directly under them that while aren’t ‘members’ are….co-workers?”

“That’s impressive. We’ve met Madam Herta, Screwllum, Ruan Mei!” Stella excitedly relayed. “They’re all….”

“Anti-social, lacking common sense, a bit crazy?” I offered.

“….unique.” She snorted.

“What was your job then?” March asked. “Madam Herta has a lot of people under her in the space station, but they’re always doing a  bunch of other stuff.”

“Oh, I was a retrieval specialist. Basically, I went out and obtained precious or difficult to acquire resources that they requested.” I summarized.

It was fun, if a lot less glamourous than they probably thought.

“That sounds interesting! I bet you’ve gone to and seen a lot of places! Is that why you’re going to Herta’s Space Station, to drop something off for her?” March asked.

“….something like that.”

“Should we give them a heads up about your arrival then?” Welt asked.

“Uh, there’s not need.” I quickly waived it off. “I’ll just….surprise them with my visit.” I forced a smile.

“oh…..was I not supposed to say anything?” Stella went blank and I noticed she was holding up her phone…and it started vibrating like crazy. “….why is Herta getting mad at me? And….why is she saying you’re not allowed within 100 quadrants of her space station?”

They all stared at me and I awkwardly cleared my throat. “Well….it’s complicated.”

Himeko let out a sigh, rubbing the bridge of her nose. “Please don’t tell me we let a wanted criminal onto the Astral Express, or that you intended to use us to smuggle you aboard her space station.”

They all looked like they were about to restrain me.

“It’s complicated!”

“Un-complicate it.”

“Technically, I’m not banned from her space station.”

Stella held up her phone with quite a few…..interesting choice of words directed her way by Herta for which she described me. None of which were pleasant.

“I was never officially banned. While Herta founded it, named it, and well…everyone acknowledges it as hers, it’s actually Astra’s since she paid for it and continues to pay for everything.” I quickly stated.

“Sophistry won’t help you, Mr.Schweinorg.” Welt replied. “We are more than willing to listen to your explanation, but we are friends with Madam Herta and the Space Station as a whole. Not only that, but they provide us with significant donations and resources to continue our Trailblazing mission. We can’t turn a blind eye to something like this. So please give us a reason to not lock you up for the continuation of our journey and alert the security at the Space Station upon our arrival.”

I let out a sigh knowing I was backed into a corner here. I really didn’t want to become hostile with either the Astral Express crew or the Space Station considering the reason I’m going there.

“Herta and I……are married.”

That was apparently enough because the overt tension dissipated immediately as they merely looked at me with bewilderment and confusion.

….this was going to be a long train ride.

@***@

Somewhat similar to the ending of the last omake with Saber Alter, but it’s going in a completely different direction. This is mostly just a test to get the idea that was stuck in my head out on paper, so to speak.