Non-Canon Omake: Through the looking glass Part 5 (Patreon)

Honestly, after accidentally landing here and meeting my mom for the first time in years, this isn’t how I expected this to go.

Kind of escalated quickly there, but who am I to deny someone a very needed beating?

And well, he was ogling Scáthach and Venelana’s boobs very blatantly. I’m not going to get pissed off whenever someone stares at my girls, I get it, they’re some of the most beautiful women to ever exist and very physically attractive, but he makes it weird.

If you’re going to admire a woman, you can’t be a creep about it.

Then again, he literally watches underaged girls undress at school without them knowing, or with them knowing, he did get beat up a lot there.

And it’s also sorta personal for Ddraig.

[Kick his ass!]

Will do.

[Curse him, make it so every time he even thinks about boobs, he gets flacid!]

…that’s fucked up.

[Kick him in the balls!]

Very personal for Ddraig.

“You know, I’m curious about something.” I spoke up, taking a spot opposite of Issei in the back yard.

Now that I think about it, why were they letting this happen?

Did they really not think about how this was going to go? At the very least, I knew the Maid and my Biological Alternate Father weren’t….well, these two didn’t seem stupid.

[Isn’t it obvious?] Ddraig stated.

How so?

[They also want to see him get his ass kicked.]

.....oddly, I don’t think they share your same hatred.

“What, you damn handsome!?” Issei was…seething still.

“Well first, are you trying to insult me by calling me handsome?” I honestly questioned this kid’s mental facilities.

“It’s because you handsome bastards are stealing all the girls!” He threw his hand up in accusation.

“That’s a lie.” I countered.

“Bullshit, everyone at school are always talking about Kiba and you…him too!” He looked at my alternate self. “And all the handsome popular guys!”

“….do you think that maybe if you weren’t a sexual predator, girls might be interested?”

“Screw you!”

“So that’s a no.” I rolled my eyes. “But as I was saying, you’re wrong. The fact of the matter is, we don’t ‘steal’ girls or whatever it is you based your life around. To steal implies that something belonged to you or that it was yours. The fact of the matter is, if they never existed, do you really think you would have had a chance in the first place?”

[Nice, keep going.] Ddraig was goading me on.

“Of course, without you handsome bastards, normal guys like me would have a chance!” He didn’t waste any time puffing up proudly at his declaration.

Just…..zero introspection, huh?

I wish I had that kind of confidence. I’m always questioning if I’m doing the right thing, or if I fucked up somewhere.

[Kill him!]

Thank you, Ddraig.

“Alrighty, how do you want to do this? Any rules, maybe just some good ol’ fisticuffs?”

“I’m gonna punch you in the face!”

“Noted.” I guess no rules then. “Ddraig --- Other Ddraig, anything you want to add?”

“On a scale of one to ten….how much?” Other Ddraig asked.

I was going to question him on that, but Ddraig answered for me. “[Minimum an Eight, probably closer to 9.]”

“…..well shit.” The Other Ddraig seemed to deflate at that.

“We got this, Ddraig!” Issei yelled, hold his Gauntlet up. “Boost!”

“Why don’t you boost up a few more times? Here, we can play this game together. Boost.” I let mine Boost up too, just for fun.

“I don’t need your help!”

“Issei, Boost up a few more times.” His Ddraig was quick to correct him.

“Ddraig, I don’t need his help!” Issei paused. “….Boost.”

“So question, while we have time. Do you even know how to fight?” I asked.

“Of course!” He said proudly. “I was trained by Rias and everyone else. I even fought in the Rating Game.”

You know, I’m questioning if he even bothered to pay attention to anything up to this point. So many clues as to how this was going to go, and I blatantly pointed out that Scáthach – The God Slayer, was my teacher. That alone should have given him some pause for consideration.

But no, it’s just full steam ahead.

[He was probably distracted staring at her boobs.]

Shit, I can’t blame him for that in all honesty, that happens to me too.

[Yeah, but you’re not scream about it for everyone to hear.]

Fair.

“What martial arts are you learning? Any weapons? Magic? Touki?” I hummed. “Boost.” I added another just for the hell of it.

“Boost!” Issei genuinely shouted it at the top of his lungs, for some reason. “I only need Ddraig to beat you up, handsome bastard!”

I glanced towards his supposed ‘king’. “Really, nothing?”

“I was planning on stuff later!” The Alternate version of my aunt looked sheepish. “Besides, do you even know anything else? Our Takao just started learning Magic, how much could you possibly know at your point in time!?”

She tried to do her best to deflect.

I looked at Scáthach and she didn’t visibly react, but there was a certain look of hers that I knew all too well.

It was the promise of a thorough beating, particularly, I could tell that it was if I lost. Which ,obviously wouldn’t happen, but I could tell that she was sort of annoyed. Thankfully it wasn’t directed at me for the most part.

“Kick his ass, Issei!” My other self shouted for encouragement.

“Yeah Issei, beat up Takao!” I also encouraged him.

“Fuck you!”

“Language!” Mom smacked him.

Issei boosted a few more times while I was distracted, and I rounded it off with one more boost myself.

Why was I boosting? Well, I had some thoughts in mind.

“You can keep going or begin whenever you want.” I casually waved at him to proceed.

“Arrogant dick!” Issei let out a low growl. “Take this!” He ran up at me with his fist reeled back.

….right, a brawler with no battle sense developed.

I let out a sigh, watching his steps, as his right foot was about to hit the ground, I found my target. I looked at his shoe, and his shoelaces in particular. “Transfer.”

The tension within his shoe laces was amplified by magnitudes, and as his foot hit the ground, they snapped, and he fell forward by the suddenness of losing the support on his foot where he put most of his weight and he went face first into the ground.

Ddraig just cackled madly from within my soul.

“Need a hand?” I offered.

“Bastard!” Issei roared, pushing himself back up to his feet,  ignoring his lack of a shoe on his right foot and tired to charge at me again.

I lightly slid my foot out, shifting the earth beneath his feet so a small mount rose up as he tried to take a step and tripped again.

Once more, he went face first into the ground.

“It’s alright, take your time.”

“Raaah!” He shot back up and continued charging at me.

This time, I let him charge unabated. His Gauntlet covered hand went flying at my face, and I could see him put all of his strength and weight behind the blow.

I activated my semblance, and he went tumbling forward as his fist went right ‘through’ me and he lost balance.

For the third time, he hit the ground.

“So close that time!” I continued to offer my very genuine words of encouragement. “Want to try again?”

“Fight me for real, you bastard!” Issei was starting to get seriously pissed off at this point. “Boost!” He shot at me again.

Credit where it’s do, atleast he doesn’t give up when clearly outmatched I suppose.

“Scatter.” I said softly, a fairly basic Illusion Magic I learned a long time ago in Skyrim. It dropped off once my opponents could see through it at a glance, but this was a good situation to use it again.

A few dozen copies of myself surrounded him and he just shouted and charged at the closest one.

Well, have fun with that.

I walked over to the others and quickly wrapped my arms around Scáthach.

“Should you be ignoring a fight, Student?” She seemed to want to chide me, but there was a noticeable lack of weight behind her words compared to normal.

“When a fight happens, I will be sure to focus on it.”

“Wait, this is the real you?” My other self pointed at me.

“Yup.” I rested my chin on Scáthach’s shoulder.

“…..how does he not notice this?” Tako gestured to Issei ‘fighting’ my illusions and to me.

“Secondary illusion, he doesn’t see me over here and to him, you’re all standing around same as you were before.”

“Don’t bully people.” Mom poked my cheek. “If he doesn’t figure it out, end it……after awhile.”

“Issei just isn’t good at magic yet!” Rias quickly defended her pawn. “He’s barely been introduced to everything as is! But he’s always pulled through.”

“He pulled through one time out of one?” I  blinked. “I guess yes, but that logic, he does always pull through?” I mean, he only had one instance of a fight…? “Wait, didn’t he lose the first time around in the Ratin Game? Technically, he would only pull through half the time by your logic.”

“Shut up!” Rias huffed. “He’ll win.”

I glanced at the two Venelanas who shared a look then at Mom and her….lover? and the Maid. Still wrapping my head around the last bit there.

They all seemed to see the writing on the wall even if Rias was in denial.

“Why are there so many of you!?” Issei yelled amidst his imaginary fight.

“….right.” I shook my head. “How about we have our Genius Magician give their commentary.” I gestured to the plain girl at my other self’s side.

Sona scowled, pushing up her glasses. “It’s a basic spell that Issei would be able to break with any amount of Magical Training.” She harumphed.

“Well, you’re the expert in undoing illusions as seen earlier.”

She started fuming and refused to respond to my barb.

Someone’s in denial, actually several of them were.

I walked up between the Two Venelanas, smiling happily at both of them. And if it weren’t for the bracelet mine was wearing, I would honestly not be able to tell them apart, they were wearing the same dress and everything.

Issei at that moment screamed much louder and actually shot at one of my clones and punched it into nonexistence fairly decisevly.

“What happened to him?” Akeno asked, blinking in surprise at his sudden increase in power.

“I made one of my illusions tease him.”

“….what did you say?”

“I made a comment about a Venelana sandwich….”

Both Venelanas looked at me.

“Well, I wouldn’t be against it.” My Venelana was unphased.

The other Venelana chimed in with a little smile herself. “Well, now I’m curious as well.

“Mom!” Rias looked like she was going to let steam out with how red her face became.

“Stop flirting with my Grandma!” Takao demanded.

“That’s enough out of you, mister.” Mom grabbed me by the ear and pulled me away from the two Venelanas.

“It was a joke!”

“It was not.” Scáthach revealed. “Pull harder.”

It wasn’t, that’s true.

“Mother, please don’t joke about sexual relations with my son.” My alternate Father sighed, shaking his head.

“I wasn’t joking.” She said with a completely serious face.

There were a combination of groans among them.

“It must be hard handling him, I apologize for my son.” Mom spoke to scathach.

“It can be trying at times, but I love him nonetheless.” Scáthach smiled. “He just requires a beating every so often as a reminder.”

“Aww~” Mom cooed. “You have my blessing to beat him up as many times as needed.”

“Thank you, mother.” Scáthach and her apparently were getting along.

“You can thank me by giving me grandbabies! My own Takao is too slow!”

“Mom, why are you so focused on that!? I’m not even an adult yet! Do you really want me to be a dad in highschool like some deliquent!?” Takao whined.

“Takao, you’re a Devil, it’s hardly an equitable experience.” Mom said with a very straight face.

“Miss Takao, I must agree with Takao. I am not ready to have a child and our relationship is very much not at that point.”

“Yeah mom, we aren’t even sleeping together yet.” Takao defended, realizing what he said and Sona gave him a red-tinged glare.

“Huh, a Miracle. Is God not dead in this world?” I mused allowed.

“Wilhelm, don’t – “ Mom stopped in her tracks. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“That….was supposed to be a secret.” The Maid’s lips thinned.

“Oops.”

My Alternate Father sighed again. “Don’t spread it around, that’s a fairly well kept secret. If it gets out, it would cause a bit of chaos even among our faction. There are plenty of Devils who would want to restart the war in full if they knew that the Biblical God was gone.”

“…..how is he dead?”

“People die when they’re killed.” I answered.

“That’s not what I mean!” He scowled.

“I’ll process the Implications of that later….” Rias looked lost.

“Wait, if he’s Dead, then….why is the Heaven Faction still so powerful? Why is the Religion still predominant? Wouldn’t the other Factions start eating away at their influence?” Sona asked.

“It’s….difficult to explain.” My Alternate father said.

“They have the metaphysical equivalent of a Nuke pointed at everyone else due to the combination of worship and faith they have stored in their system. Theoretically, it’s enough to utterly remove another Faction. And no one wants to be the one’s to test it.” I briefly explained.

“….or I guess it isn’t.” He smiled awkwardly.

“How do you know that?” My other self asked skeptically.

“You figure out a lot of things when you move up in the world.”

“Bullshit.”

“Aaah!” Issei roared, destroying another of my ‘illusions’.

We all sorta…ignored it going on now, which was kind of amusing.

“Let me ask you a question in return.” I held up my finger. “I’ve invoked God and you’ve even pointed out that I’ve done so, and it’s explained that if you’re strong enough it’s a nonissue. Do you think I’m weak?”

“That….” My other self went silent. “But you’re only a few years older than me.”

“We’ve lived completely different lives.” I crossed my arms feeling…annoyed for some reason. “Which makes me question, why this ‘fight’ was even ‘allowed’.” I looked at my Alternate Father and the Maid because they obviously realized the chasm between us.

“Wait, are you seriously saying you’re stronger than Issei? But….he beat Riser, that’s huge!” Rias spoke up.

“Is it? Is it really?”

“Yeah, he’s one of the strongest of this generation’s Pillar families!”

Aren’t there only like a handul of kids her age from the pillar families as well?

“Riser admittedly is quite strong for our age group, even if I dislike him quite a bit.” Sona added.

….he got beaten by Issei, the kid I was literally playing with right now as we spoke. The kid who was having trouble fighting illusions that had no combat power!

“You realize Sairaorg would wear him like a glove, right?” I asked with a deadpan.

Mom lightly smacked my shoulder.

“What’s Cousin Sai got to do with it?” Rias asked.

“Wow you really….just don’t have a clue do you?” I was in disbelief at this point. “Seriously what was the point is letting me ‘fight’ Issei?” I gestured to the kid who still hadn’t beaten my Illusions, things that literally can’t fight back as they’re not real.

“That’s not –”

“I thought it would be a good lesson for him.” My Alternate Father spoke up. “Not being able to measure your opponent is fatal in most circumstances. He was blinded rather easily, and if he wants to be my Sister’s Pawn and live up to his potential, he really needs to be better.”

“…oh.” Well that was actually a fairly decent reason. Personally, I didn’t like being used as a teaching tool….actually that’s a lie, I did enjoy doing this!

I twitched my foot and a pillar of dirt condensed and shot out of the group, hitting Issei right between the legs. “I’m helping.”

[Good good, continue to ‘help’ him.] Ddraig sounded rather…sinister.

“I think my other self should join in.” I looked at Takao.

“Pass!” He quickly hid behind Sona.

My Alternate Father cleared his throat. “I also wanted to see what my other son was capable off.” He offered a genuinely warm smile and I found myself clenching my fists unconsciously. “And a bonus, it would help Takao here see where he stands and how to improve.”

“And a fight is a good way to get a measure of someone.” Scáthach added.

My Alternate father nodded. “That as well.”

“Well, should I end things?” I said half-heartedly. “I’ll let him see my ultimate technique!”

“You have an ultimate Technique!?” Takao’s eyes widened.

“My God killing Meteor impact gun!”

I threw a brick at him.

It sailed through the air, smacking him in the face and he fell over.

“….what was that?” Sona asked in disbelief.

“My ultimate tech – “

“That is not what that is!” She hissed. “That was a brick!”

“….and?”

She threw her hands up in clear defeat as she acknowledged my ultimate weapon.

“Wilhelm, why did you throw a brick at him?” My mom asked rather calmly.

“Well, I used it to beat up a clown once before, I figured it would give me the conceptual advantage against another clown.”

“No!” Rias raised her voice. “Issei won’t lose! Issei, if you win, I’ll let you touch my boobs!”

It’s funny, despite everything, he shouldn’t have been able to hear her. My illusion was covering our voices as well as the physical appearance of the surroundings.

Literally, he shouldn’t have been capable of it.

Yet, his twitching body stilled.

As if a dam breaking, his Draconic Aura exploded outwards, and a familiar Scale Mail enveloped his body as he rose to his feet.

“Did….he just use Balance Breaker….?” I was unsure if I was seeing things correctly at the absurdity of this situation.

What kind of bullshit was that!?

“Yeah, Issei, show him!” Rias cheered happily.

“That’s how Issei beat Riser.” Takao sounded in awe.

“The famous Red Dragon Emperor’s Scale Mail. Seeing it a second time doesn’t take away from how suffocating it feels.” Sona spoke as well.

I looked at them, and perhaps they misunderstood it as they seemed rather smug all together now.

My illusions all broke at the influx of power that exploded off him initially, so he turned and saw me properly.

“I’ll win for the sake of Rias’s Oppai!” He declared loudly, as if it were some life defining moment for him.

[Kill him. Then kill me. Then kill him a second time.] Ddraig sounded almost like he was in tears.

I took a few steps forward to avoid everyone else caught up around me as he seemed particularly focused on me right now.

“Boost, Boost, Boost, Boost, Boost, Boost, Boost, Boost, Boost, Boost, Boost, Boost, Boost, Boost, Boost, Boost, Boost, Boost, Boost, Boost, Boost, Boost, Boost, Boost, Boost, Boost, Boost, Boost, Boost, Boost, Boost, Boost, Boost, Boost, Boost, Boost, Boost.” He boosted enough times that I lost count as he charged headfirst at me.

His arm glowed brightly and rather than throw a punch, it gathered a different kind of power around it. “Take this!” He roared as his hand appeared right infront of my face and the energy reached its precipice. “Dragon Shot!”

He fired a Dragon Shot at me point blank, right into my face.

Well, he had balls atleast.

I held my hand up, and blocked it.

Not even my Gauntleted hand, but my normal one.

The energy from his Dragon Shot Cascaded outwards all around us as my hand didn’t budge an inch.

The Dragon Shot dissipated after a moment, and a Balance Breaker Issei stood there in stunned silence.

“Hey Issei, do you know what the Scale Mail means?” I asked, not expecting him to answer as my Elbow connected with his stomach, sending him hurling back across the yard. “It means you can take a beating.”

“Wha –“

He was quick to stand up, but with a burst of Shunpo, I was behind him, kicking him forward, forcing him to bounce on the ground across the ground a couple times before he came to a stop.

Before he could get up, I grabbed his leg and threw him up in the air, and shot upwards, catching him before he began to fall and slammed down on him from above, accelerating his descent exponentially, and making him hit the ground with a massive thump.

I stood up, looking over his prone body and clapped my hands, wiping them of dust and grime that I accumulated over that quick round.

“Well, that was fun.” I hummed, rejoining the others.

“Oppai….!” Issei groaned from the small crater he was in, slowly trying to crawl towards me.

[Put him out of his misery.] Ddraig told me.

And I complied.

A second brick went flying through the air and smacked him in the face again.

His body went limp with no movement.

“How…..how are you so strong?” Rias whispered.

I looked at her without the mocking tone I had before. “The difference between me and him is that when my Boosted Gear is called a Longinus, it’s not hyperbole. I’ve actually fought and killed Gods.”