My Transformation (Patreon)

By Max Harper

Preface

I want to start this by admitting to you, the reader, and myself that what you are about to read is not your typical tale. This book, tentatively known as My Transformation is my recount of how I came to accept myself. It’s filled with a lot of what you could call “downs”. I hit some dark places on my journey and did things that I’m not really proud of, but I did them and because of my experiences, I am a different, happier person.

I am, and forever will remain, a sissy baby.

I do feel, however, that the term sissy baby needs a little bit of clarification. To some, a sissy baby is when a boy is regressed back to babyhood as a girl, whether by choice or by design. The baby girl is just that, a baby that is a girl, as literal as an interpretation can get. Because the person in mind is biologically a boy, the moniker of sissy is applied so that others in the know can distinguish between a girl baby, and a boy made into a girl baby. A long winded explanation but bear with me.

I, on the other hand, am not that. I’m a sissy baby. A man who understands that he is a man but does not deserve the title. Remember the phrase taking a man card away? That’s me. I’m the guy who doesn’t deserve to be called or treated as a man. I’m a sissy. I was made into such by my own perversions and by Patty, my Mommy. I let her lock up my boy parts and take the key back home with her to England. I let her plug my bottom. I let her put her dildo in me. I let her change my name to Chrissy. I think, beyond anything else, its the sexual distinction that sperarates the two main sissy babies. The first is innocent and pure, sort of a reimagining of the self from boy to girl, lacking any sexual component. The second is purely sexual. Making a man into a girl by capitalizing on his submissive nature and throwing off the gender stereotypes. As Mommy put it, it’s about trust. Well, that and power. Specifically, giving that power, that control, to someone else. Control for freedom. Sounds fucked up right? That’s because it is. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

So, why then do I need diapers? Again, it’s power and control. It’s about taking everything away from a man so that he has a constant reminder that he’s no longer a man. Men don’t wear diapers. Men definitely don’t use them. And men don’t get hard thinking about them. I believe I’ve gone over the various reasons that I like them. While it sounds fantastic in your head, trust me when I say that wearing them all the time isn’t a picnic, but more on that later.

Diatribe aside, I hope you find something you can relate to in this next installment of My Adoption.

Sincerely,

Chrissy

Chapter 1

I took the wet diaper off the moment I got home. I took the plug out, washed it, and stuck it in my nightstand. I took a long, steaming hot shower in an attempt to clear my head. I didn’t make any progress on that front as each time I looked down at my caged manhood and shaven body. My legs needed a touch up and the thought of spending an hour in the tub running a razor across them didn’t appeal to me. It was hard to find the motivation to keep up on my new life without her. Patty drove me to start these changes and her absence made everything difficult. I dried off and walked around my apartment naked, feeling my cage flop against my body. I couldn’t stand looking at it so I went to my room to find some pants to wear.

My room reminded me of the week I just had. The empty box that the diapers came in sat near the dresser. I knew that there were several bedroom toys hidden somewhere around my room. I could practically feel her presence as I looked at the bed. The bed hadn’t been made and my memory was ripe with our exploits. I thought of the fun we had and the pleasure she gave me. I remembered our various conversations and the advice she gave me, which reminded me of the messages she sent that I hadn’t read yet.

It took a few minutes of frantic searching before I found my phone. The plug had lost its connection for her ability to control and there were a few notifications from my social media and from her.

Mommy loves you! I can’t wait to talk to you when I land to see how your day went.

I know that this first day will be one of the hardest so just remember to take it slow. Put the diaper back on and keep it on. The other things will come, I promise.

How did she know that I took it off?

Don’t worry about the toys. Just enjoy being a baby. Play your games, go to the cinema, take bubble baths, anything that will make you feel like a kid again. You have a lot of great ideas in your stories and the memes you shared.

Use those for inspiration.

And most of all, remember that I love you!

I sat on my bed and scrolled my social media. There were plenty of the usual posts. People sharing pictures of themselves or what they did that day. A few questions for the community, but none of that interested me. What did interest me was one of the groups I followed that posted ABDL Hentai cartoons. It was where I got the inspiration for a lot of my fantasies. Today wasn’t a particularly interesting day, a lot of diaper furry toons. I’d never found interest in that group so I scrolled on by until something caught my eye.

It was a picture of two people in diapers, both with them pulled down so that their butts were showing. One looked clearly feminine, with long pigtails and they had a furry tail coming out of their rear. It was held in place by a plug in her rear, I assumed, as it was something I saw often posted. The other person looked male, at least, they had a boyish haircut and what looked like a cage around his boy parts. From the angle it was drawn, it was hard to clarify. Behind them was a woman with a wooden paddle in her hand and they each had red bottoms from being spanked. In front of them, as they were on all fours, was a man with his pants down and his manhood erect. The connotation was that the two in diapers were servicing the man. I lingered on the toon longer than I normally would before I took a screenshot of it and saved it to my phone.

I felt my boy parts strain against the cage I wore and my mind danced with the what if scenarios. While the thought of performing on a man was repulsive, the setting wasn’t. Being positioned in a way that could make that image a reality, spanked into submission, that was exciting.

I scrolled some more but didn’t find anything as attention grabbing as that one image. There were a few admission posts about people’s first attempts at wearing or using diapers that were interesting and for a moment, I thought about writing one of my own.

“What would I say? That I let a strange couple into my home who babied me and turned me into a sissy?” I said to myself. Even out loud, the words sounded stupid. I glanced over my shoulder to the middle of the bed. It didn’t take much for me to recall the last time Patty had her way with me. I had buried my face in my pillow, biting it as she held my hips firm and pounded the life out of me. I felt myself strain even harder against my cage.

Without anything else to look at, I returned to my current situation of needing pants. I stood up and took one last glance at the bed. There was a part of me that yearned to go back to last night. A craving of sorts. It was as unexpected as was the damp spot where I had been sitting. It wasn’t large, and upon closer inspection, I realized what it was.

“Boy goo.” I muttered, shaking my head. “There is only one solution for naughty boys who can’t stop making messes.”

I went into my dresser and pulled out a diaper. I felt a lump in my throat like I was about to do something wrong. My mind played out a fantasy of what Patty would say in a situation like this.

“Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.” I said, trying to imitate her voice. “I dare say that it’s readily apparent that you need these, don’t you?”

I felt kind of stupid having a conversation with myself but it helped ease my mind.

“I’d really ought to blister your bottom for leaving a mess on my bed, but as you are just a baby, you can’t really control yourself, can you? Lay down on the bed and let’s get you diapered.”

I unfolded the diaper, fluffed it, and spread it out on the bed. I positioned myself over, taking one last look at my manhood, before sitting down on it and securing it into place. As I stood up from the bed, I felt a wave of relief wash over me. The bulky padding between my legs was comforting and it put my mind at ease.

“And I’m to enjoy each and every one of these?” I asked to my bedroom. The silence I received wasn’t convincing, but it wasn’t condemning.

“Fuck it. Let’s play some video games.” I tossed on some sweatpants to cover my diaper and went out to the living room. I had the majority of my weekend left and as long as I kept my mind busy, I wouldn’t even notice that I was wearing them.

I made it to Wednesday before anything went wrong. I played games and enjoyed myself all weekend, texting Mommy back and forth. At her request, I sent her pictures of before and after each change, receiving praise for each and every one.

Work was going well. I wore my diapers like I was told to but wasn’t really feeling the same way that I had been the week before. There was a missing element that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. It ate away at the corner of my mind but I ignored it like I did with all of my other problems. I was just trying to get by, but by day five without Patty, I was losing interest in the whole baby idea.

“Chris to the office, Chris to the office, please!”

Denise’s voice sounded over the PA system. From the warehouse, it would only take me a minute or two to get there.

“Probably wants something pulled off the top shelf again. Told her that the lift truck needs to be replaced before we put anything that high.” I said under my breath as I reached for her door.

“Ahh, Chris. Come in. And close the door behind you.” She had the tv for the security camera turned on and was watching the dock workers unload the day’s delivery.

“Is everything okay?”

“Why wouldn’t everything be okay?” She said. She wore a cardigan over her blouse and it looked like she was trying to hide something. “Have a seat.”

I sat, being mindful of the soft squish and shift of material from my diaper. Three big wets was as much as it could safely hold without changing my gait and I was working on number four.

She stood and walked around the room. “Are you happy working here, Chris?”

“Yeah. I mean, the new job it a lot different from working on the floor. But I like it.”

“Good. I only bring it up because of something that has come to my attention.” She said, making her way from behind me to her desk. She turned the security screen so that we could both see it clearly and brought up some footage from last week. It was an angle of the warehouse that I didn’t know about and the footage was of me. It caught me pausing my work to check my phone, look around to see if anyone was nearby, before I pulled my pants down and took a picture of my diaper. She paused it at the picture taking part and zoomed in. The image was startlingly clear and the pink Bunny Hops that I had been wearing were clear as day. I gulped and flushed red, embarrassed at the exposure and ashamed by my actions.

“I, uh, I can explain.” I stammered.

“Oh really? Well, I’d love to hear your reasoning for exposing yourself in such a graphic manner.”

“Y-you see, I, uh, have this condition.”

“A condition? What condition makes you behave like that?”

“It’s, umm, pretty rare…”

“Is it call bullshit? Because that’s what it sounds like.” Denise said, cutting me off. “Look, I don’t care what you wear under your clothes. What I care about is you taking your clothes off in a place that’s not the bathroom. Had a female employee seen this sort of behavior, it wouldn’t hard to terminate your employment because of sexual harrassment.”

“But, they wouldn’t see anything.”

“Irrelevant.” Denise said. She closed the recording and looked at me, winced for a moment, before continuing. “By all rights, I should fire you right now. In this state, I can without needing a reason. But you’ve been doing good work and good workers are hard to find.

“However…I think I have a better idea. An agreement of sorts. You help me with a little issue I have, and I delete all traces of this behavior from the films before I send them to corporate.”

“F-films?”

“This wasn’t the first time you exhibited this type of behavior. Several times across several days last week. But I can make all of this go away…”

“H-how?”

“Can I ask you a personal question? Completely off the record, and you don’t have to answer it.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Why are you wearing diapers to work? Are you afraid of the bathroom or something?”

“No. I, uh, I have to. For…reasons…that are personal.”

“Fair enough. Is it like a medical reason or a kink kind of reason?”

“It’s not medical.” I said, doing my best to not confirm that I was wearing it for pleasure.

“I see. Are you…you know…a lover of that kind of thing? Or like an adult…” She trailed off.

“I…a little of both, I guess.” I was getting increasingly nervous and squeamish having to explain my actions to my boss. “W-why?”

“Have you heard of a condition called galactorrhea?”

“No.”

“It’s a condition where…and I can’t believe I’m saying this to you…” She paused, looking around the room as if someone was eavesdropping. She composed herself and reverted back to the boss bitch she acted like normally.

“Here’s the deal. You are going to do what I say and help me with this issue I have and in return, you can keep your job. Breathe a word of what’s going on and I will post pictures of your diaper wearing ass all over the building. Do I make myself clear?!”

There was a tone in her voice that I couldn’t argue with. She got up from her desk and went over to the couch that sat along the wall. She took off her cardigan and started undoing her blouse.

“Come here.” She commanded.

My legs felt like jelly as I shakily stood up. Pee number four was near primed and ready. I felt my legs wanting to spread slightly due to the sagging bulk between my legs. She peeled her shirt back and unsnapped the front of her bra.

“Lay your head in my lap and let’s get this over with.”

“W-what?”

“I’m sure you understand what’s going to happen. You’re wearing a diaper like a baby, so I’m going to feed you like a baby.” She reached up and grabbed my arm, pulling me down into her lap. I didn’t really have time to react before she used the crook of her arm and her other hand to hold my head still and push her nipple into my mouth. There was a weird taste to her skin and as she squeezed her breast, something warm squirted into my mouth and the shocking realization hit me.

I gagged and tried to pull my head away but she was strong and fast. She tightened her arm and held it still with her other hand.

“Just let it happen. For the love of God, just let it happen.” She growled. I struggled against her grasp and after a struggle, she reached down and grabbed my balls with a cask iron grip through my pants and my diaper. She squeezed enough to send shockwaves of pain coursing through my brain. I stopped squirming immediately.

“Now that we have an understanding, let me make this perfectly clear. You will be my thirsty baby whenever I need you and I’ll not rip this off. Capiche?” I nodded.

“Now drink, and don’t forget who’s in charge!”

I resumed sucking as she squeezed a little harder. She kept a firm grip on me until I had drained her breast. When she finally let me sit up, I gagged and burped but had little time to react to anything before she pulled me back down into her lap to latch onto the other one.

“Good boy. Thirsty boy.” She cooed at me as the pain faded from her chest. “I think this will work out rather well. Hell, I think I might have to make this a regular thing.

Would you like that, baby? Hmm? Do you want to be my thirsty little diaper boy?”

I couldn’t respond with my mouth full but I doubt I had any options. It felt like I didn’t have any options as of late and that reality stroked that submissive sissy side. I twitched in my cage. Little did I know what Pandora’s box I had just opened.

I went back to work with a full diaper and a belly full of breast milk. My mind was blank, my body was numb but for the first time since Patty left, I finally felt like a baby.

Chapter 02

I got home to several DMs from Patty, a strange feeling of guilt, and the need to change. I took care of the latter first, stripping down naked, wiping myself clean and throwing on a pair of shorts to let myself air out. The more I thought about what happened to me, the more nauseous I became. I could still taste her. It was kind of an almond taste, no too unlike that milk I’d see advertised on tv. It wasn’t the same but it was the closest comparison I could make. I brushed my teeth and gargled mouthwash to resist the urge to throw up. I didn’t know if I could handle doing that again but I wasn’t sure I was going to have a way out. She was desperate for relief and had me dead to rights with the indecent exposure at the workplace. I knew I was being blackmailed but didn’t know what to do about it.

I sat at my computer and opened my social media while I scrolled my messages.

I struggled to relate to the posts on my feed. One, because I wasn’t in the right mindset. Two, because of the guilt of having done what I did with Denise, which felt like a betrayal to Patty. And three, because I wasn’t in a diaper. Not that being in one kept me in the mindset, but the crinkle helped.

“Might as well bite the bullet.” I said, tapping on Patty’s number. She had renamed herself Mommy on my phone and I felt my stomach turn from guilt.

Good morning my sweet baby! I want you to know that I miss you already!

I hope you are staying the course. With each one you wear and use, the easier it’ll become to stay with it.

I really miss you. I hope that you miss me too.

Her words were kind but did little to comfort me. I felt like I had to confess to her what I had done. Or at least, confess something.

I miss you too.

She responded immediately.

Baby boy!! I am so happy to hear from you! How are you?

I’m doing okay.

Just okay?

Yeah. I had a long day at work.

Aww, I’m sorry to hear that. Did you have a good weekend at least?

Yeah. I played some games and relaxed.

That’s good. Are you still my baby?

Yeah…

Are you sure?

I…I took it off for a while.

How long?

Enough to shower.

Okay. Are you wearing one now?

No.

Why?

I just got home from work and I needed to air out.

You wore it to work?

Yes.

Good boy. I’m okay with you taking it off to shower and to air out, but I do want you to be in them more than out of them. From now on, I want you to ask me to take them off. A change is fine, you can do that yourself, but to be out of one for longer than a few minutes isn’t acceptable. Am I understood?

I didn’t know what to say. She was half a world away but it felt like she was standing in front of me, her breasts barely held in place by her blouse, looking disapprovingly.

Yes.

Yes?

Yes, Mommy.

Good boy. Now, turn on your video chat. I want to see your face.

Ok.

I turned on the video call and her face popped into view.

“That’s better. Now I can see my baby.” She said, brushing her hair out of her face. “Have you eaten yet today?”

I felt ashamed to nod my head but I did.

“Good. Now, March your little butt to the bed and let’s get you diapered.”

I got up and went to my room. Out of my peripheral vision, I could see her watching my every move.

“Set the phone down so I can see you.”

“Yes, Mommy.”

“Drop your shorts so I can see you.”

I slid my shorts off my hips and blushed as my caged manhood flopped into view.

“You need to shave those legs.” She said, “Tonight if you want but for sure tomorrow.”

“Ok.”

“Get your supplies ready.” She ordered. “And don’t forget the baby oil. You need to protect your skin if you are going so long between changes.”

I went to my dresser and pulled out a diaper and the oil. I could feel her eyes watching my every movement. I dropped the oil on the bed and opened the diaper, fluffing it. I laid it down and turned around to position myself on it.

“Not yet.” She said.

“Why?”

“Because bad boys get punished when they disobey Mommy’s orders.” She said without hesitation. “Get your plug.”

“But-“ I whined.

“That’s where it’s going, and don’t make me tell you again.” I whined again but begrudgingly pulled it out from the nightstand.

“Drizzle some oil on it. And turn around so I can see.”

To say I was twitching in my cage was an understatement. I was aching, my useless boy parts straining against the hard plastic. I held the plug for her to see as I drizzled baby oil on it.

“That’s enough. Turn around and bend over.”

“Mommy, please…”

“Begging me only works when I’m there. Keep it up and I’ll increase the size.”

I whined again and slowly turned around. I bent over slightly, feeling so embarrassed, ashamed, and perverse to it all.

“Start slow so you don’t hurt yourself.”

I pressed the tip to my body and tried my best to relax. I was excited at the sheer humiliating degradation that I was going through and although I wanted to stop before it went any farther, I knew I needed to see it through. It went in slowly and she coaxed me along every inch of the way. I no more got it all the way in, which elicited a groan/moan from me, when I felt the motor spring to life inside, causing vibrations to radiate through me. I moaned again as the vibrations varied, sending waves of pleasure erratically coursing through me. I leaked and dribbled from my cage as I stood up.

“Turn around.” She said.

I did so and I could see her grin stretching wide across her face. I didn’t know if she was happy at the torment now buzzing in my bottom, or the look on my face. “It seems that my little sissy is making messes. Onto the diaper, baby.” My legs were shaking as I positioned myself onto the diaper.

“Lather your diaper area with oil and tape yourself up. Use liberal amounts.”

I complied, gingerly applying the oil to my swollen parts. I wanted to orgasm so bad but had no access to them. I taped the diaper closed and twitched as she increased the intensity.

“Mhhh.” I moaned, moving my hips in an attempt to get the plug to hit a spot it couldn’t reach.

“That’s better.” Patty said. “Now roll over and put a pillow under you.”

“W-why?”

“You will see.”

I did as she commanded, feeling incredibly awkward having my butt in the air. “I want you to hump your pillow.” I turned and looked at her.

“You heard me. Hump your pillow. But don’t you dare cum without asking me first.”

The look on her face and the tone in her voice told me she wasn’t joking. I started moving my hips, grinding my caged and padded boy parts into the pillow. I wasn’t expecting to feel anything but a combination of the plug buzzing away inside me, my arousal at my humiliation, and the oil covering my parts made for a powerful sensation. I had masturbated before, like every guy on the planet, but never like this.

“Does that feel good, baby?” She teased. I moaned in response, trying to thrust/grind faster.

“Mmm, slow down. Don’t rush it. Work up to it like I did with you. Enjoy it. That’s it. Slow but steady. God, I could watch you do this for hours. Just seeing that bum of yours moving like that. Makes me wish I was there so you could ride me. Would you like that?”

I nodded, slowing my pace. I could feel the anticipation begin to build inside me.

“Of course you would. You’re such a little slut, aren’t you?”

“Uh huh.”

“Dirty slut boy.”

“Uhhh.”

“I love listening to your little sissy moans. I can’t wait to see what depraved things you will do for me. But for now, just watching that diapered but rise and fall is enough.

Well, that, and this.”

The plug went full bore and my eyes rolled into the back of my head. My mind melted as my body acted on its own. I could feel the pressure building within. My hips gyrated at a near feverish pace and the climatic moment was upon me.

“M-mommy? M-m-may I c-cum? P-pwease?” I panted.

“No.” She said and everything stopped. The plug shut off and my thrusting wasn’t sufficient to keep it going. Unable to orgasm, my body ached with denied release and my moans turned into pathetic, whimpering cries.

She let me pitifully twitch and whine for a few moments to let me calm down. When I had stopped trying to make something happen, and was looking at her with desperation, did she finally speak?

“When you agreed to be mine, you agreed to do as I say. If I tell you to wear diapers around the clock, you will wear your diapers around the clock.” I felt the plug come alive again and my hypersensitive body convulsed.

“I could lecture you more but I’m sure I’ve made my point. The diapers stay on or the cage does and all the pleasures you could derive from having your little thing free will be denied. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes. Mommy.”

“Normally, I’d just redden your arse and we’d be done with all of this, but sometimes drastic measures are needed. None of this means that you should be lying to me and taking them off behind my back. Trust me when I say that I don’t want to punish you. I want you to be happy as my baby. There will be rewards for good behavior, I promise.”

The pain emanating from my nether region was a constant reminder that she had full control over me.

“It hurts…” I felt like I had been kicked in the balls.

“I know. And it will for a while. But push past the pain, baby. Give in the life you want and you won’t ever feel that way again.”

“How? How do I feel like a baby all the time? It’s so hard when you aren’t here.”

“Buy some baby things. Bottles, pacifiers, toys, or anything like that. Wear just your diaper around the house. Touch it but don’t take it off. Think of what it’ll be like to have me change you again. Or to be on my breast. Think of how it feels to have your Mommy love you. I told you this part would be hard, but there are ways you can make the transition smoother, you just need to be willing to step outside of the societal normalities.” There was a lot of good advice there and I couldn’t help but fixate on one thing she said. Was it because of my fixation on breasts? Or because I’d just been blackmailed into being breastfed by my boss?

“Either way, I want you to understand one thing.” She jangled the key to my cage in front of the screen. “This key is unique, and it would take at least a month to ship it back to you.”

I gulped audibly.

“There is no threat here, or implication of one. I’m merely stating the fact that you gave me this. You gave me control. You still want this, don’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Then enjoy the ride. And I will do what I can to keep you in the mindset. For now,” she adjusted the plug’s intensity, “let this be a reminder that I own your cute little bottom. Now, go be a good boy and enjoy the rest of your night. The plug can come out in the morning, if you’re good.”

“Y-yes, Mommy.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Let me tell you that spending a night alone with a butt plug randomly stirring within you is a maddening affair. I couldn’t get off, but thankfully the pain subsided not long after she hung up with me. It led to me having little focus on anything but my pent up desire and time seemed to drag by. I was allowed one change before bed and she cruelly cranked up the power on the plug while I was trying to change. By the time I went to bed, I was beyond exhausted, my body unable to take anymore denied arousal.

I had learned my lesson. She allowed the plug to come out first thing in the morning and I was tender from its prolonged presence. I showered and immediately put on another diaper. I sent her pics in hope that it would make her less inclined to punish me and headed off to work. I hadn’t been able to think about anything but the intruder and was blindsided by Denise, who was standing by the time clock waiting for me.

“My office. Now.”

She shut and locked the door behind us. “How’s the baby today?”

“Denise, about that…”

“Oh, don’t worry, your secret is safe with me. You keep mine and I’ll keep yours. But we don’t have to worry about that, do we?”

“I…uh…”

“Didn’t think so.” She moved to the couch, taking her shirt off as she did. “You’d better be hungry. They are so full that they hurt.”

She motioned for me to lay next to her as she fiddled with her bra.

“Do you have any idea what it was like shopping for maternity bras in my size? It’s like the only place you can find them is online.”

“I-“

She pulled me back into her lap and held her swollen breast to my lips.

“We aren’t going to have the same problem as we did yesterday, are we?” She said, glaring down at me.

Be on my breast. Patty’s words in my head.

I let my lips slip open and I latched onto Denise’s breast.

Give in to the life you want.

The milk flowed and I tried to think about anything other than what was in my mouth. I wanted to be a baby. More than anything else, I wanted to be anything but an adult. I hated the pointless life that I had. Purposeless. Wasted time. Doing nothing and going nowhere. Aimless. Without agency.

“God that feels so good.” Denise said with a sigh. “You have no idea how hard it is to be a rational person when your boobs hurt all day long. I’ve been trying to get a breast pump but can’t afford one right now. Guess it’s a good thing that you are a diaper wearing man baby.”

She reached down to my belt. “Speaking of which, I just have to see this.”

She undid my pants. Any rational person would have covered himself with his hands. But I wasn’t rational. I was an adult in an adult diaper, being breastfed.

Rationality wasn’t even close to reality.

She peeled them open far enough to get a peak and slide her hand down the front of my diaper.

“Crinklz huh? We don’t carry those anymore. I’ll have to find something similar.

We have some MegaMax styles in your size.”

I choked and pulled off her nipple. She looked down at me for a moment before bringing her breast back to my mouth.

“Can’t have you leaking in front of everyone from all the extra liquids, can we? I think a change after lunch will keep any accidents from happening. Babies need to be changed and fed often otherwise they get cranky.” She rubbed her nipple across my lips and I latched back on. She murmured in approval.

We soon changed positions and I latched onto her other breast. She went on and on about how good it felt while I tried to find the best way not to taste it. If I held her nipple around the middle to back of my tongue, I could direct the flow enough for it to pass by most of my taste buds. Since she wasn’t going to give me a chance to say no, I had to find a way to make it more tolerable.

Sufficiently drained, she sent me off to work. I had to remember to do my pants back up before walking out onto the main floor.

“See you for lunch, baby.” She said as I walked out of her office door. No one was around to hear it, and to that I was thankful. I was certain that the rumor mill would start up at any time when people found out that we were spending so much time together.

I was in the warehouse away from everyone when she sent me a text.

Thank you.

I didn’t really know what to say to that so I ignored it. I could almost feel her eyes on me as I set about my work. Especially when I stopped for a moment to pee. I tried to rationalize how I would explain to Patty that I was wearing a different diaper from the one I went to work in. Realizing that it wouldn’t work, I had to find a way to convince Denise to not try to change me.

I have to stay in this one. I can’t change at work.

You won’t be changing. I will be. Changing you that is.

I’m being serious.

So tell me why.

It’s complicated.

Everything is complicated. Don’t be a brat about it and tell me.

I felt like I was in a confessional. At some point, the truth had to come out.

I’m not allowed to change without permission.

She didn’t respond immediately because I could hear her yelling at the sorters. When she was free from her responsibilities, my phone went off.

Says who?

It was a while before I responded. I didn’t really know what to say. My hope was that by admitting Patty’s existence, Denise would give up this need to blackmail me into whatever you would call this.

My Mommy.

Like, your mother? Or someone you call Mommy?

The second one.

Did she put you back in diapers?

Yes.

To be a baby?

Yes.

Are you supposed to wear them all the time?

Yes.

Those ones specifically?

No. But I sent her a picture of them this morning and she will expect to see the same one this afternoon.

I see. Get back to work.

We didn’t talk for the rest of the morning. I worked through my break to make up for lost time and tried to put it out of my mind. When lunch rolled around, I followed the crowd and went into the break room. I no more than sat down when my phone vibrated in my pocket.

Forgetting something?

I groaned.

Come to me, baby.

I furiously typed a response.

I’m not a baby!

Isn’t your diaper wet? Didn’t you suckle from my breasts this morning?

That’s not the point.

I think it is. I think the only thing preventing you from being a baby is your inability to accept it. I’ll put it this way. Come here, crawl into my lap, and be a baby, or I’ll release the videos of you showing off your diaper and you can explain to everyone how you are not a baby. Tick tock. Better act fast. Lunch is half over.

Do you ever feel helpless? Like no matter what path you take, you will lose? Do you ever feel like the choices in front of you are predetermined? Rendering said choices moot?

That was me. There was no way I could explain to the forty some people that worked there why I was wearing diapers. I wasn’t smart enough or clever enough to come up with a believable medical condition to satiate their curiosity. Even then, I would be subject to great amounts of scorn and ridicule. Every post I had ever read on “coming out” ended with the same sentiment. It was no one’s business what you wear. If it’s not hurting anyone then there is no problem. However, I shouldn’t unwillingly subject my coworkers to my kinks or perversions. It was a double edged sword and I was going to be cut regardless.

I can’t recall at what point my body moved of its own accord. Probably when my mind was melting from yet another existential crisis. When my brain finally realized what my eyes were looking at, it was too late to stop my hand from knocking on her office door.

“Come in.” She said from behind the door.

I walked in to her setting her phone down in her lap. She was sitting in her usual spot on the couch, as if she’d been expecting me. She raised an eyebrow at me in mock surprise and her eyes darted to the door. I turned around to lock it and when I turned back, she had already taken her shirt off.

“Come here, baby. Come drink from your new Mommy.”

I complied, though this time she had me lay on my side so that she could pat my butt.

“That’s a good boy. Mommy will take good care of you. I will feed you and change you and help you transition from this crappy adult life into your new, happy baby life.

“And before you try to say that it won’t work. It will. You need to bring five diapers to work each week and I will change you after you’ve had your lunch. How does that sound?”

The rhythmic pat on my padded butt was soothing and the warm milk was calming. It sounded good. Real good. I had no idea how I was going to tell Patty that she’d been replaced, but at that moment, it didn’t matter. I was happily accepting my babyhood. I felt my eyes roll back in my head and I let the world fade away. My new Mommy hummed to me, alternating between patting my butt and running her fingers through my hair. There was much I would have to explain to her. Like the shaved legs and the cage, but those were worries for another time.

My mind finally shut off when I moved over to her other breast. Blissfully unaware, I felt my most detached from everything. My worries. My fears. My walls. She barreled through them, removing any opportunity for overthinking. She forced me to just go with it and I was far more accepting. Ahh, the joys of being your own worst enemy…

Chapter 03

The days that followed were strange. I didn’t say anything to Patty about Denise being my second Mommy. She asked how my work day was, and I just said that it was fine. She asked about my diaper and how full it was, and I went through the motions of sending her pictures of it before she allowed me to change. It was at that moment, on the video call so she could watch my progress, that I got bold.

“Mommy?”

“Yes baby?”

“Would it be okay if I changed at work?”

“Why would you need to do that?”

“Well, it’s been hot in the warehouse and I’m drinking extra fluids, so I’m going more often and I don’t want to leak.”

“I’m sure that your diapers can handle it. More changes are nice, but they risk exposure and cheating.”

“I won’t cheat. I want to wear them, I just don’t want to have any problems.”

“Like what?”

I had to think fast because I hadn’t anticipated her telling me no. I had figured that wanting to change more frequently would translate to wanting more diapers, which would in turn make her happy that I was wearing them all the time.

“Well, I’ve been holding in…” I trailed off. I put on my most desperate face as a way to explain what I couldn’t say.

“I told you that you are to use your diapers fully. Not letting you change is how I ensure that you do.”

“I know. But if I have to go in the morning while at work. I have to be in it all day and people will notice.”

She was quiet for a while as she watched me wipe myself and sprinkle some powder.

“You do have a point. And I do want you to be able to change more. Consistency is how you will develop your need for them. We will try a trial basis. One extra change per day, but I want to see you fully using your diapers. And you need to show me each time you need to change. I will decide if you need one.”

“You don’t trust me?”

“I want to, but this is one of those times when too much distance and too much freedom can lead you astray. It would be a different story if I was there to change you. I want you to be successful and enjoy being my baby. Speaking of, have you gotten any toys or bottles? I see you haven’t shaved yet. I want that done tonight.”

“No, I haven’t. I’ve been busy with work.”

“Busy with work or busy making excuses?”

I looked over at my phone and she was glaring at me.

“I’m sorry, Mommy. I just don't want to be seen buying something like that.”

“Why? Are you embarrassed to be my baby? Is it shameful?”

“No. I’m just not super comfortable yet.”

“Do you have a Bluetooth headset?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Get dressed. We are going to the store.”

“For what?”

“It’s not your place to question me. And I’d suggest you get a move on before I lose my patience.” She used that familiar tone, the one that made my blood run cold.

“Yes, Mommy.”

I put my pants on and grabbed my things. We switched from video calling to normal so that I could drive safely. She directed me to the nearest big box store and straight to the toy section.

“Your problem is that you think too literally. When I say buy some toys, I don’t mean from the infant’s section. I understand that you are an adult with a developed mind. A baby’s toy wouldn’t do you any good. It would be more an insult to your intellect than an aid to your regression. There are more grown up toys that you can buy. Call me back on video and let’s start with the dolls.”

Holding the phone in one hand, I slowly walked through the toy section. There were a few customers, mostly moms with little kids and they paid me no mind.

“Let me see those.” Patty said, and I showed her the ever popular Barbie display. I felt uneasy from the onset as we weren’t alone in the aisle. There was a lady with her young daughter also looking at the selection. The woman had a look on her face, a kind of curious disgust. Patty must have seen the woman as I turned the phone because she spoke deliberately.

“We need to find something that Chrissy would like.” I slowly moved the phone around so that she could see. “No, not that. Not that either. This would be so much easier if I were there. What do you think she would like?”

“I…uh…I don’t know. I’m not sure Chris-sy would like these.”

The little girl with the woman stepped in front of me to grab the anniversary Barbie.

“Blake! It’s rude to step in front of someone like that!”

“Sowwy.”

“Speak properly, you are not a baby anymore.” “I’m sorry.” Blake said to me.

“Buying for a niece?” The woman asked me.

“Wha? No. I’m just shopping.” I stammered.

“He’s buying for a very special little girl that doesn’t have any dolls of her own yet.” Patty said for me.

“How old is she?” The woman asked. I was nervous and close to blushing. She was close enough now, having taken a few steps towards me with her cart, that if she had looked close enough, she could make out the shape of my diaper under my pants.

“Two or three, I would say. We are friends of the family and just wanted to help her out.” Patty said.

“I’m not sure this is what s-she would like.” I chimed in.

“We weren’t asking for your opinion.” Patty snapped. I felt like the odd man out. Like the parents were talking and the kids had to be seen and not heard. I squirmed a little in my shoes, both excited and embarrassed to have been reprimanded like a child.

Blake looked up at me as if she understood what it felt like.

Little does she know… I thought. That we are far more alike than you will ever know. And maybe that’s the point. I feel like a total pervert dressed like this, but she has no idea. No one here does. I’m all worried about what everyone might think or say.

How’d they react? How’d I react? But why? Why would anyone care?

Patty was talking back and forth with Blake’s mother and I had lost track of the conversation. When their words finally made it through my thoughts, it registered that they were talking about raising little girls.

“My little one was easy to potty train, took to it with little fuss.” Blake’s mother said. “Which is a godsend. Diapers are not my forte.”

“Oh, I don’t mind changing diapers. I don’t want my babies growing up too fast, then they start getting mouthy.”

“All children need a firm hand to keep them toeing the line. Isn’t that right,

Blake?”

The little girl looked sheepish and turned away from her mother.

“Oh, there are many ways to keep children in line.” Patty said. “Each child takes a unique approach. That said, we aren’t going to find anything for Chrissy by jabbing our jaws. Let’s keep looking.”

I turned and walked away from Blake and her mother, self consciously aware that I had peed in front of them. I walked aimlessly away from the toy section, phone in hand.

“That was rather unproductive, wouldn’t you say?” Patty asked as I made my way past the pet section.

“Yeah.”

“Care to explain why?”

“Why what?”

“Why was that so painful to be a part of?” She asked.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. It was awkward for sure.”

“I guess you wouldn’t understand.” Patty sighed. “Some things are either there or they aren’t. Look kiddo, I have to go, I’ll talk to you later.”

“Bu-“

My screen went dark and I felt despair welling in my chest. My headphones were still on and I stuck my phone in my pocket. I wasn’t sure what happened but I felt like I had done something very wrong. I walked around the store in a daze, barely aware of anything. I wandered into every department and managed to find a few things that I needed.

I thought about what had happened and tried to figure out where I went wrong.

I did everything she wanted. She hadn’t made a decision on what dolls she was going to force me to buy, so what did I do wrong? I don’t even want any of those stupid dolls. I’m not a girl! ….fuck my life…

That’s it, isn’t it? It’s because I’m not becoming the girl she wants me to be. Or is it? I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore. I just want someone to hold me and tell me that this is going to be alright. I can’t lose Patty. She still has the key and I don’t want to have to explain to anyone why I’m wearing this ridiculous thing.

I twitched in my diaper.

Denise is going to find out about it soon. What am I even going to say? What if she wants me to take it off? And how am I going to explain how clean shaven I am down there?

I really should get some more razors.

Am I even ready for this? She wants to change me every day. What if Patty is done with me? Denise expects me to be her baby and to be in diapers. How long is that going to last if I have to buy them? How long is she going to want to breastfeed me?

God her touches feel nice. Who would have thought that I’d be a tit man?

But I’m not a tit man. This isn’t sexual for me. This is me being breastfed actual breast milk like a baby. Twice a day. I bet she’d want it around the clock if she could.

I twitched some more in my diaper.

Round the clock tit in my mouth. Getting my diaper changed. Being called a baby and treated like one.  How pathetic does that sound??

I strained in my cage.

It doesn’t.

I blinked and looked around. I was in the health and beauty section, standing in front of the women’s razors. I gulped. There were a few customers down the aisle ways, looking at hair dye. They were teenage girls and they were giggling about something. Me, most likely. To my right was an older man who was stocking the shelves and paying me no mind. I looked at the display and felt completely lost. I recalled the commercials for most of the razors I saw and the only thing they shared in common was that they made you feel your sexiest. It didn’t matter. I didn’t feel sexy. I felt alone and abandoned. I didn’t know if I should go through with it anymore. It would be the first time I had shaved and I wasn’t looking forward to it. I still had bladder control so I could quit the diapers at any time and just pretend that this whole ordeal was some elaborate fantasy in my head.

“Sweetie? Did you need some help?”

I jumped a little and turned to see the two girls had made their way down the aisle and were standing next to me. One of them, the larger girl, was picking out a set of razors while the smaller, prettier girl was looking at me earnestly.

“I…uh…I…”

She looked over the items in my cart, a few groceries, a t-shirt, and a stick of deodorant, and sized me up. I felt her eyes linger on my small frame and poor muscle definition. I imagined her quickly seeing the bulge of my diaper through my pants and I blushed.

“Looking at your skin type, I would recommend this brand followed up by this moisturizer. This is super important, though, if you don't moisturize, you will get razor burn. Especially down…there.” Her eyes darted to my groin and I wanted to die. I heard a soft snicker in my ears.

The other girl scoffed and dropped a large bottle of skin moisturizer in my cart, along with a bottle of hair remover.

“If you are trying to do this yourself, you may want to go this route. Especially for those hard to see areas.”

“OMG, yes!” The first girl said. “You have no idea how hard it is to maneuver a razor with a mirror in one hand. The number of times I thought I was going to cut my….” She trailed off. Her face turned red and she brushed her hair out of her eyes as she turned away.

“Just because we all can’t rock a bikini like you doesn’t mean that we don't have our own struggles. Thick thighs save lives!” She said, slapping her thigh. “But they don't tell you about the friction and the heat.”

The two girls giggled raucously and when they settled down, the second girl moved farther down the aisle while the first one put a slender hand on my shoulder.

“Think it’s very brave what you are doing and I support you. My boyfriend always goes nuts when I shave. He can’t keep his hands off me.”

“I’m-“ I couldn’t finish my protest. There was a truth there that I wasn’t ready to admit out loud.

She stepped towards me and I could feel her warm breath on my cheek. “We all need a change from time to time, don’t you think?”

I nodded as I flooded the front of my diaper. The thought of someone as pretty as her changing me was delectable. She moved on with her friend and I couldn’t help but take a look at her butt as it swished away. Part of me wanted to grab her firm posterior, the other wanted to know if her shorts would fit over my diaper.

As I walked towards the checkout, having to step a little bow legged thanks to the swollen padding between my legs, I couldn’t help but fixate on how she made me pee with just a touch and a whisper.

“That can’t be normal.” I said out loud.

“As normal as three girls shopping can be.” Patty’s words went straight into my skull thanks to the headphones I had left on.

“There were only two of them…oh, I get it.”

“A sissy in her natural element forgets what she is biologically.”

“I thought you had hung up on me.” I said with a soft whine in my voice. I hadn’t intended on sounding that way, it just sort of happened.

“Baby girl, I would never just let you go like that. I wanted to see how you would handle being left to your own devices, supervised of course.” She said soothingly as I stood in line for the self checkout. “I have to have a little fun.”

“I’m not having fun.”

“That’s because you're fussy. I’m betting you need a diaper change and a bottle of warm milk.” My mind flashed to Denise’s ample chest. She always had plenty of warm milk.

“I’m not fussy.” I whined under my breath.

“It certainly sounds like you are. Or is it something else you’re craving? Is the thought of being all silky smooth for me getting you excited?” She changed her voice and spoke in a low, sultry tone. “Are you imagining my hands on your body? Can you picture the harness on my hips? The tip bouncing slightly in front of your face? You don’t want to crave it, but you need it, don’t you? Can you feel your little clit aching for release? Can you feel my hands on your hips as I grasp them? You don’t want to, but you can’t help but lean forward, sticking your little butt out for me.”

I could practically feel her behind me, ready to take me as only she could. My breath was ragged and I wanted nothing more than her words to be real things happening in front of my eyes. I squirmed a little and felt the ooze from my cage run down between my legs. I had to stay focused as I moved up to purchase my items.

“Yes.” I whispered and I heard her murmur in response.

“All in good time, baby. All in good time.” She said, “Baby steps first.”

Once home, she sent me straight to the tub to shave. She watched on the video call as I filled the tub and went to work, offering tips and tricks to make it easier. She let me use the hair removal cream on my more sensitive parts. I had to move the camera all over my lower half so that she could inspect the job I did. She had me head straight to the bedroom to moisturize and to put on a dry diaper. She wouldn’t let me wear anything else for the night, though she did walk me through packing a diaper bag for work. I could only put one change in it, but she wanted wipes, rash ointment, and baby oil in the bag as well.

“I expect your diaper to be fully used.” She told me, or I won’t let you change. And I will require proof.” She told me. “If I suspect that you are cheating, you will be locked in plastic pants for a week. And, to make sure you understand how serious I am, you will get something in the mail tomorrow. A little warning for you to think about.

“But you’ll be a good boy for Mommy, won’t you?”

I nodded and gulped. My mind was jelly at the thought of her punishing me. I didn’t really want to mess myself, much less at work, but like with Denise, I wasn’t going to be given a choice. Patty left me to my own devices for the rest of the night. I played games and just milled around, the events of the day playing back in my head. My legs felt smooth but not glossy like women's legs, partially because it was only my second time with smooth legs and the moisturizer hadn’t had time to work. The way Patty had spoken to me when I was in the store had me rattled and excited, for what good the latter was. Not to mention the young girl that had helped me out with the razors.

What is it about girls being able to tell me what to do? And why do I get so excited when it happens?

Went to bed early. I wanted to get up and to work sooner than I normally would so that I could talk myself into giving Denise the diaper bag. It felt like a huge step forward. I would not only be actively participating in my regression, but I would also be admitting to being a baby to my Boss Mommy. I was anxious at the thought of her changing me and seeing my cage, as well as having said diaper be fully used before she could. It was all too much for me to wrap my head around and when I finally fell asleep, it was restless.

“Good morning, baby!” Denise said. I had pulled into the vacant parking lot right behind her. The improvised diaper bag was slung over my shoulder, and I carried my lunch in a bowl in my hand.

“Morning.” I mumbled. I was tired. I hadn’t slept well with everything that was on my mind.

“Is that what I think it is?” She asked, waiting by the door for me to catch up to her.

I hesitated for a moment before I nodded. Her face lit up and she unlocked the door. She was clearly a morning person. I wasn’t. She practically dragged me to her office. There was still well over half an hour before anyone else was expected to show up and as she hurriedly peeled off her shirt, it was obvious that she was going to take advantage of the situation.

“First things first,” she said, plopping down on the couch, her bra popping open,

“let’s get you fed before we see what kind of goodies you brought me.”

“A-about that…” I said, setting my stuff down. “There are a f-few things y-you need to know.”

“Honey, we don’t really have time for idle chit chat. My boobs feel like they are going to burst, so whatever it is you want to talk about, it can wait.” She wasn’t lying. I could already see the milk start to run from her nipples. “Now, come over here and get latched on.” Her tone said that she wasn’t kidding around anymore so I laid in her lap and let her put her breast in my mouth. Her supply flowed almost immediately and I had to gulp a little to catch up.

“I think there is something going on with my breast pump. Hopefully it figures itself out. I think I’m making more than I was before. But that's good, right? Got a hungry baby boy here.” She patted my butt a little harder than normal to hear the crinkle of my diaper. “I think you should come in earlier more often. It gives us a chance to bond, don’t you think?”

As if we haven’t done enough bonding. I thought.

She undid my pants and slid them down to my ankles. She started going on and on about work while she rubbed my diapered bottom, pausing every so often to give me pats. It was soothing and made my task more tolerable. I say tolerable only because I was still hesitant about her knowing about this part of me. I hadn’t thought that I would not only grow accustomed to but actually like being legitimately breastfed. It really helped to hammer home the baby aspect of my life.

Her one breast drained, I sat up and burped. I stumbled on my pants when I stood to move to her other side. She laughed softly at me and held out her arms to help me get situated as I lay on my other side. She stroked my hair and cooed at me as I latched on. I could see the relief flood across her face as the discomfort waned. She continued rubbing and patting my butt as she talked to me.

“I always wanted to be a mother.” She said, “Just wasn’t in the cards for me, I guess. But when I look at you and this wonderful thing we have, I think that I really got the best of both worlds. I get to hold a baby in my arms and nourish them, without having to find someone who I’d be willing to have a child with. It sounds shallow, I know, but I’ve tried the dating scene, and no one really measured up, if you know what I mean. Who needs all of that stress when I have you? You are just perfect. I could hold you all day and look into your eyes as you feed from me. I don’t know how I got so lucky, but

I’m glad to have found you.”

We spent a few moments looking into each other’s eyes while I finished up. I had drunk too much and when I sat up, I felt like I was going to spit it all back up when I burped again, longer and louder this time.

“Goodness, me. Was it that good?” She joked.

I didn’t say anything. I just kind of leaned against the couch to let my stomach settle. Thankfully, I had brought some snack crackers with me to help absorb all the liquid, although the thought of eating anything made me nauseated.

Denise put her breasts away after checking to see how empty they were. She pulled her shirt over her head and composed herself. “Now, let’s see what we’ve got here.” She opened the diaper bag and pulled out its contents. I couldn’t help but blush and feel ashamed.

“One diaper. Wipes. Rash ointment? And baby oil. Well, not as stocked as I would have assumed, but we can work with this. Do you need to be changed now?” She asked me.

I shook my head. “That’s what I was trying to say. I…uh…I have to…use them…” “Well, yeah. Otherwise, what’s the point of wearing them?” “C-completely.” I finished.

She paused for a moment as my vague point clicked. “At least you are not being wasteful. They are a pretty expensive brand.”

“Y-yeah.”

There was a moment of silence between us as she looked at my supplies and at the diaper I was wearing. I could tell just from her face that she was looking forward to changing me but understood why she had to wait.

“You will have to let me know when you…finish…and I will change you.”

“I usually go in the morning before I come to work but…” I couldn’t really tell her that my other Mommy wouldn’t let me get away with that anymore.

“Did you this morning?”

“No.”

“Okay. So would you want to do that here or go somewhere or what?”

“I don’t know.”

She was compassionate for a moment it seemed, and then the boss part of her namesake reared its ugly head.

“I’ll check you at lunch and change you then. It’ll be just in time for your next feeding. I think I’m going to move your lunch break to coincide with mine. Pull your pants back up and go punch in.”

“O-okay.”

“And the correct way to respond to me is Yes, Mommy.”

“Yes, Mommy.”

“Good boy. Oh, and when you are in the warehouse, I expect to see this.” She held up something for me to see. My heart sank into my stomach. She was holding a pacifier.

“I d-don’t t-think that’s mphhh.” She crossed the room and shoved it into my stammering mouth.

“Babies don’t get to think. They just obey.” She said with absolute certainty.

I twitched in my diaper and began to pee.

“I’ll see your little baby butt back here at twelve for a change and some more boob time. And I will be checking the cameras.” She said, holding the pacifier to my lips.

“So be a good boy for Mommy, would you?”

I twitched some more and nodded. The thought of her watching me all day from the monitors on her desk, knowing my secret and showing her little addition had me aching for release. A release that could only be granted by my other Mommy…

Chapter 04

So, do you remember when I said that things went dark? Up until the first Friday after Patty left, things were…how should I put this…relatively normal? Well, at least in comparison to what was to come. Sure, being put back in diapers sounds abnormal to most people, but we aren’t exactly most people, now are we? It should be stated that the pegging was going above and beyond the norm, but that's surprisingly more accepted by the masses than wearing a diaper. Regardless, and entirely unbeknownst to me, I had set in motion a series of events that would forever solidify my place as the sissy baby I was always meant to be.

Why isn’t your mouth full?

I groaned audibly as I read the text and looked up at the camera. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the pacifier Boss Mommy had given me and slipped it into my mouth. I had hid it from my coworkers when I went to punch in and now that I was alone in the warehouse, I was expected to be using it.

Much better. How’s your diaper? Full yet?

It had only been an hour since my shift started and while it was wet, it was nowhere near full.

Not yet. I responded and went back to work.

What’s taking you so long?

What is it about these people and changing diapers? I wondered.

I don’t have to yet.

Well, I’m watching you on the camera and you are the cutest thing ever! I can’t wait to change you!

I can.

She sent me a crying emoji followed by why?

Because that means that I

I intentionally left the sentence unfinished and sent it anyway.

I won’t mind. It’s not the first one I’ve changed. Used to take care of my grandpa before he passed. Your diapers are way cuter than his were though.

This isn’t letting me get my work done.

You don’t really have anything to do so you can talk to me.

I rolled my eyes at the camera.

Plus, you’re ten times more adorable with something in your mouth. It’s not my boob but it works.

Her mention of her breast got me thinking about something concerning.

Don’t you think people will notice our arrangement?

They will, but they won’t say anything because I’m more cordial with everyone now.

What if they say something?

Unless they see something worth saying then it’s all rumor and conjecture that I won’t tolerate. I already have a reputation for being a bitch and firing people. It wouldn’t serve them to complain.

Is that why you’ve been so mean?

Is what why?

I didn’t know how to tastefully say it but if the deal was to be upheld, I felt I had a little leeway to be frank.

Your condition.

Partially, sure. Being in pain and discomfort all day can make anyone mean.

Like I’m sure you get when you have to go but don’t want to.

She wouldn’t let off the diaper change idea.

It’s not something I’m comfortable with.

Yet.

Yet?

I’m assuming that your other Mommy wants to keep you this way. Can’t avoid it forever.

She was right, of course. I wasn’t naive enough to believe that Patty didn’t want me fully incontinent. At some point, it was going to happen. If it did, I knew from my reading and research that it was nigh impossible to go back. I doubted that Patty would let me. She seemed adamant that I was the one she had been looking for. It made me wonder if I was making the best decision for my life.

Would you?

Denise had been tough but good to me over the past few days. She claimed herself as my Mommy and I wondered how much my life would be different if I was with her instead of Patty.

That would depend on a few things.

Like?

Like our agreement. Is it still an agreement? Do you feel like I forced you into this and are only doing it because you fear exposure? If there wasn’t an agreement and just mutual trust would you still go through with it?

I didn’t answer for a while. I counted the items on a few shelves and made some adjustments to the inventory. In the beginning, it was force and blackmail that was the foundation for our agreement. I was still afraid of being exposed to everyone but found that my fear appeared more formidable than her threats. I didn’t have to bring in a diaper bag for her to change me. I had to admit to myself that I liked it. Feeding off her breast was both humiliating and exhilarating. Nothing else made me feel like more of a baby.

Yes. I finally said. But… But what?

I felt like I needed to admit something. Something I’m sure you already know. At some point I had to go for broke.

I like it when you force me. Even if it’s not real.

I thought as much. You don't like having to make choices. You would rather someone tell you what to do.

Yes.

Then yes. I would keep you as my diapered man baby.

I twitched in my cage.

God, is it lunchtime yet? I can’t wait to pop a tit in your mouth and tell you how much of a baby you are.

The clock on my phone showed that only an hour had gone by. I sighed. It was going to be a long day.

As lunch approached, I felt a twisting in my stomach. A normal person would have thought that I just needed to breathe. My anxiety was spiking and I was finding it hard to focus. The expectations on my shoulders were too much for me to handle.

On one side, I had Denise. She wanted to play more of a Mommy part in my life. Which was code for she wanted to treat me more like a baby. As if the breast feeding every four hours wasn’t enough, or the pacifier; she also wanted to change my diapers.

To do that, I had to contend with the other side. Patty. She wanted me to fully use my diapers before letting me change. Therein lay the kicker. I had to seek her permission to change and she wanted proof.

The hangup? The requirement of proof. As much as I tried, and I had been trying all morning, I just couldn’t do it. When I had been forced to, it was a different story. My body just did what needed to be done. But there was a mental block that was preventing me from going on purpose. So the twisting in my stomach was not only nerves, but strain.

I’m guessing from your lack of communication that you won’t be needing a change just yet.

Patty’s message came through a few moments before lunch. The knot that was in my stomach turned to a bottomless pit of worry and stress.

I’m trying. I’ve been trying.

To say that I am disappointed in you doesn’t even begin to describe how I feel. Just know that I will deal with your insubordination in due time.

It’s not as easy as it sounds. I can’t just go whenever.

That’s exactly the point. A baby goes whenever, wherever, however. You fail to understand that simple fact. We will discuss this later. Enjoy the rest of your day.

And like that, she ghosted me. I tried to apologize and send messages but she didn’t reply to any of them, effectively leaving me unread. The lunch bell rang and there was an unread message on my phone from Denise.

Mommy is waiting for her baby! Pop that binky out of your mouth and come get some of Mommy’s milk.

I sighed and put my phone away. I pulled the pacifier out of my mouth and put it in my pocket.

I really should get a case for this. Just to keep the lint off of it. I thought. What the hell is wrong with me? I’m about to spend the next half an hour sucking the milk out of a woman’s tits. None of this is normal.

I waddled down the aisle towards the offices. I really wanted that change that I was now being denied. I had to explain to Denise why she couldn’t change me and I didn’t know how.

“From the look on your face, I can tell that I won’t be needing this.” Denise said as I shut the door behind me. She had the bag in her lap and was pulling out the changing supplies.

“I…”

“It’s okay. I’m not worried about it.” She said, “Come here and let me hold you.”

I made my way over to her as she was taking off her shirt. I laid in her lap and let her slip her swollen nipple into my mouth. I was sad and feeling rejected. I felt like an object, just being passed around and used for the pleasure or amusement of two women who didn’t seem to care about me. It was heartbreaking. I didn’t just want to be a baby for someone. While I liked the humiliation, there wasn’t anything else. My head was so confused that I couldn’t really focus on anything. All I knew is there had to be something more to all of this. I was losing hope and losing my drive to continue.

I was sweating. Work wasn’t that long ago but it felt like hours. I had finished my day in a daze, my diaper soaked to near leaking, and my mouth was tired from sucking on the pacifier for hours. I now looked back on that time with envy.

I was in a twisted agony. I was still caged, still diapered, and still at the whims of a woman who’s inventiveness was astounding. She had just hung up with me, leaving me a whiny, blithering, tortured mess. Beyond my normal attire, I was in locked plastic pants, unable to change myself or even reach my area. But that wasn’t the torturous part. That honor belonged to the invader. I squirmed and whined. I felt split open and violated.

Mommy had made me put in a new plug, longer than anything she had put in me before, and wider. It stretched me out and the more I tried to clench around it, the more tired and feeble my muscles became, which in turn, stretched me out more. It wasn’t just a plug, but a hollow sleeve, meant to keep an orifice open. I was quickly losing the fight to maintain control and as I writhed on my bed, panting, I had never felt more used or helpless. Pried open, my bowel control ripped from me, I would have no choice but to use my diaper like she wanted. Her added cruelty to that idea was the locking pants. Not only would I be unable to stop myself from going, I would have to sit in it until she let me change.

“You may ask for a change tomorrow. Sleep tight.” Those were her last words to me that night and the more they echoed in my mind, the more taunting they became.

Have you ever tried to do anything when pushed beyond your known limits? I tried, but no matter what I tried to pay attention to, all I could fixate on was what my body was going through. Dripping through my cage, my submissive sissy mind was in a state of euphoria. My baby mind was split, partly in shock of how helpless I’d become, the other reveling in said helplessness. Unable to settle my mind or my body, I was also unable to sleep. Sometime during the afternoon or night, the hollow sleeve had served its purpose. I don’t remember exactly when I noticed but I had soiled myself and hadn’t realized that it was happening. My baby mind went nuts over this. I had long held a fantasy where I had to be in diapers due to loss of control. This was exactly like my fantasy but it was close enough.

Morning came with agonizing slowness. Hyper sensitive from prolonged arousal, forced open beyond the normal amount of time, and developing a rash from being in my own mess overnight, I was exhausted as I waited for her to text me.

Morning baby. Call me?

I hurriedly video called her, desperate for permission to change.

“Good morning, princess.” It was a subtle jab but I caught it. As did my sissy mind which made me twitch in my cage for the upteenth time that night.

“Morning Mommy. I did what you wanted, can I change?”

“Why the rush? Let’s talk about it first. How do you feel?”

“Cause it hurts. And I have to get ready for work.”

“That doesn’t answer my question. How do you feel?”

“Mommy, pwease, pwease, can I change?”

“Not until we talk about this. You are awfully whiny. I supposed that’s to be expected. It’s early, you haven’t eaten yet. But let’s stay focused. Answer the question.” I whimpered and pouted, my frustrations getting the better of me.

“I don’t know what you want from me!” I said, exasperated. I wanted to cry.

“The truth. How do you feel?”

“Like I have no control, okay?!”

“Calm your temper. You don’t speak to your Mommy that way.”

“Sorry. I haven’t slept much and I need to get cleaned up for work.”

“What you need to do is live in the moment. This is a big step for you, and I want you to enjoy it.”

“Enjoy it? Isn’t this supposed to be a punishment?”

“Think of it more as a funishment. Yes, there is a lesson to be learned here, but also enjoyment to be had. So you think about that and I’ll talk to you after work.”

“But what about-“

“What about what? Remember the rules. You don’t get to ask me for a diaper change. You are the baby, and you will stay in that dirty diaper until I say otherwise.”

Something broke inside me and I started crying. I wanted sympathy or empathy and all I got was half a smile before she ended the call. I dropped the phone from my hands and sobbed as a baby would.

My tears had dried up by the time I got to work. I was so wrapped up in what I was feeling that I didn’t think about calling off. I only remembered the option as I pulled into the parking lot and saw Denise getting out of her car.

She wouldn’t let me anyway. She needs me.

I slowly drug myself out of my car and followed behind her into the building. My attempts to beg Patty with texts and calls had gone unanswered and I had no other option but to turn to Denise.

She was in her office and was already unbuttoning her shirt when I approached. I was running on autopilot as I dropped my pants to the floor, stepped out of them, tossing them on the couch, and laid my head in her lap. I rolled my body towards her and latched on to her breast. As her milk flowed, so did my tears. All of my existence was babyhood, from breast to diaper, I had fully become a baby. Unable to control my bodily functions, unable to make any decisions for myself, and unable to speak up for myself.

“My dear baby boy. What is the matter? Besides…phew… that you need a change.” She patted my butt which only made me suck harder on her breast and cry more. Her maternal intimacy made me even more emotional. I had been deprived of it for my entire life that in that moment, with everything going on, it all overwhelmed me at once. I snuggled closer to her chest, cupping her breast with my hands and settled in, the tears still flowing down my cheek.

“Shhh. It’s okay baby. Mommy is here. Mommy will take care of you because

Mommy loves you.”

Emotional and physical exhaustion washed over me. The lack of sleep, warm diaper, and warmer milk in my belly lulled me into a submissive state. When I moved to her other breast, I felt this huge wave of tension release from my soul. I got comfortable, suckled from my Mommy, and let my worries go for the moment. My eyes rolled back into my head and I drifted off to sleep to Mommy humming to me and an all too familiar but unplaced repeating tone.

Mommy Talk - Interlude

Denise Beckham, formerly Denise Richardson, divorcée of one rat bastard, Eric Richardson, sighed blissfully, leaning her head back and closing her eyes. After months of inner turmoil and heartbreak having to deal with her ex-husband leaving her, Denise was finally starting to feel normal. Life had resumed per the usual for the most part, though, she had a week or so to renew the lease on her apartment or find a new place to live. She didn’t want to stay. It was their marital home, and every aspect of it reminded her of him.

She had a deep loathing for him. They had promised to spend their lives together but he let one little thing get in the way and decided that it was too much for him to handle. She hadn’t asked to get sick. In fact, it was his fault for why she was in the state she was in. He wasn’t ready for children and they had agreed that she would take birth control pills, as other means weren’t feasible. The birth control reacted with herbal supplements she used to take, which caused her pituitary gland to go into overdrive, producing ludicrous amounts of prolactin. Once her doctors had found the cause, the treatment was simple. However, her condition became idiopathic, and strangely, seemed to increase in severity. Unable to handle what she had to now do, Eric filed for divorce. It had devastated her and during the process, she had felt as if her life was over. While not too terribly inconvenient, it did put a damper on any sexual activity as any man she had tried to connect with had been repulsed by her condition. That was until she met him.

A phone, not hers, rang from the couch next to her. She looked down at her lap before reaching over to grab it. Her intent was to silence it before it caused a disruption when she looked at the caller ID. It was one word and not a name.

Mommy

Perhaps she was just too curious, but she answered the video call, keeping the camera pointed away from her.

“Hello?” A woman’s voice asked. “Baby? Are you there?” There was a pause and then the woman called out a little louder. “Hello? Chris?!”

Using her best customer service voice, perfected over years of retail work, Denise finally responded. “Chris is unavailable at this time. If you would like me to take down a message, I will see that he gets it.”

The woman’s voice on the other line soured quickly. “Who is this? Where is Chris? Why do you have his phone?”

“I’m sorry, Ma’am, but whom may I ask is calling?”

“I’m a close, personal friend. Who are you?”

“Who I am is not in question. I am assuming by your caller ID that you are responsible for his current state.”

“What I am is annoyed. By what right do you have to hold his possessions?”

“I could ask you the same thing.” Denise responded, “Although his phone is a far cry from his bathroom privileges.”

“I’m afraid you have me at a disadvantage.”

“Furthermore, such exhibitionism, like the kind I can reasonably associate with you, could put much in jeopardy for him.”

“You speak like someone who pretends to be in a position of real authority.” The woman said, “In fact, you sound distinctly like middle management, to which I can deduce that you are his boss.”

Clever girl. Denise thought. She angled the phone and turned it around, facing her maternal rival.

“My name is Denise.”

“Patricia Wilcox,” Patty said. “I guess that means that Chris hasn’t been too careful if you found out.”

“Pulling your pants down in front of the cameras to take pictures at your behest didn’t help.”

“You assume he took those for me. Assumptions can be dangerous.”

“For him or for you? If I were to fire him for exposing himself, who pays the penalty? It doesn’t matter to you if he can’t make ends meet.”

“Oh, but it does. It gives him plenty of time to complete his transformation.”

“Can I believe that he has a choice in this matter?”

“He does, but only in spirit. He is so much happier when he isn’t given choices, merely the illusion of choice.”

“And his ensemble is part of that.” Denise mused with a questioning inflection in her voice.

“Are you asking or telling me?”

“I was being rhetorical. It’s rather evident that his choices are limited.” Denise said, “I can’t imagine anyone volunteering for something like this.”

“Oh, you would be surprised, but that’s really besides the point or the issue at hand. What you think you know or claim to know is irrelevant. I recommend that you forget what you’ve seen and go about your life. This doesn’t really concern you.”

Denise was used to people making demands. She found it funny that a face on a screen could command her.

“I’m afraid it is you that’s mistaken.” Denise said, “Specifically about the extent of your reach and influence. I didn’t get to where I am today by being pushed around and told no. I do the pushing. I tell people no.”

“And yet you answer to someone. In all matters that concern Chris, that someone is me.”

“Oh, really?” Denise asked, slowly tilting the phone down so Patricia could see Chris. He was still latched on and suckling from Denise’s breast in between bouts of snoring. He rolled his head to the side and her nipple slipped from his mouth. A small stream of milk rolled down his cheek.

Patty was taken aback. “I’ll admit that I didn’t see that one coming.” She looked at Denise with newfound respect. “It appears that I have misjudged you.”

“I’ll take that as an apology.” Denise said, tilting the camera back up.

“Is everything else in order?”

“I would imagine so.” She showed Patty Chris’ lower half. “I was going to change him but he fell asleep on me.”

“The plastic pants are locked on, to prevent him from changing, or being changed. Had he been honest with me, it wouldn’t have come to this.”

“Would you have believed him? Or my intentions?”

“I suppose not. Which leaves me in quite a conundrum.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Do I believe you now?”

“Does it matter? To be frank, you can say anything you’d like, doesn’t mean it’s going to happen.”

“To you, sure. But I hold much sway with him.”

“Through a screen, which can easily be turned off.” Denise said, “Look, we can sit here and measure dicks for hours, but it won’t get us anywhere. We both care about Chris, so let’s meet in the middle somehow.”

“Why should I?”

“Because without me, you don’t have him. In fact, now that he has me, I’m not sure why he needs you.”

“Because only I can make his dream come true. Only I can afford to keep him as he is and only I will push him to become the best she can be.”

Denise caught the changing pronoun. “She?”

“She.” Patty confirmed. “Chris is on his way to becoming my sissy baby girl, and in time, will be adopted as my child. I’m offering him a life and a home that he never had, with the love and affection that only a mother can give. I’m offering him something more than just companionship or dominance.”

Denise felt like she had wronged Chris in some way.

“However, this does present an interesting possibility.” Patty said, “I am not without reason, nor empathy. You are able to do a few things that I am not presently able to do. I can’t be there with him to help him through this initial stage. Nor can I lactate for him, despite my best efforts, and he seems to be enjoying it.”

“He does. Quite a lot in fact.”

“So, Denise, I have a proposal for you. Continue doing what you are doing, with my oversight, of course, and in return, I will finance your endeavors.”

“Are you trying to buy my services as a wet nurse?”

“Is that a problem? I’m offering to pay you to be a caregiver to my baby, fulfilling a need we both have. I can’t imagine that it’s comfortable when he’s not readily available.”

“It isn’t, but money can’t buy everything.”

“No, but everyone has a price. Name yours.”

“Is that all this is? A way for you to get what you want by throwing money at it? Is that what you’re doing for him? Can’t have a kid of your own so you’re buying a baby of your own?”

“You make it sound like I’m some sort of villain. Yes, money is making my endeavors substantially easier, but it’s not my true motivation. This whole thing doesn’t work if he doesn’t want it. I can’t force it to happen. I can guide and steer and provide, but at the end of the day, he has to make the choice to put that diaper on and wear it.”

“Unless you take those choices away from him. How long has he been in this dirty diaper?”

“Overnight. But a lesson needed to be taught. And I’m sure when the rash kicks in, the lesson will be learned.”

“And that’s what you would want me to do? Give him my chest and do these things to him? What part of that is nurturing or loving?”

“The part where you get to hold him at night while he’s nursing or when you rock him to sleep. Every time he needs to be changed will be you. You will get to see him grow into the baby he wants to be. It’s my offer, take it or leave it.”

“I want to believe that it will be like you say, but just from what I’ve seen so far, I have my doubts.”

“Will it be an easy road? Probably not. He will resist and you will have to enforce the rules. As with any child, he will test the boundaries. My methods won’t be necessary if you are there to guide him in the right direction.” Patty said, “At this point, we are discussing minutia. You’ve made up your mind, am I right?”

Denise looked down at Chris. His bottom lip moved slightly, so she pulled his head closer to her breast. He latched on the moment he felt her soft skin. She couldn’t bear the thought of letting him go.

“Okay. I’ll do it.”

“There will be rules.”

“Like?”

“He’s to always wear and use his diapers. No exceptions.”

“Okay.”

“If he’s not being breastfed, he needs to be bottle fed at least twice a day.”

“Okay.”

“Those are the main two, and the first will likely be the hardest. Once he fully accepts his diapers, we will move on.”

“To make him into a girl?”

“A sissy, but yes.”

“And how would you like me to accomplish that?”

“With rewards. In his dresser drawer, taped to the underside, is the key to his little boy parts. The code to his plastic pants is 117, after a video game character he likes. And there are a few things in there to get you started. Any and all rewards, however, must happen while he is in his diapers so that he associates them with being rewarded.” Patty said, “At your discretion, only. The same goes with punishments, though, should he be successful with rule one, his punishments will be less punishing and more enjoyable. For her.”

“I’m still trying to get over him being a her.”

“It’ll take some time, but you will. And you will slowly see what I saw when I was with him.”

“You were here?”

“For a week, yes, hence the displays you saw on the cameras. It was his first week in diapers.” She paused, reminiscing, “His first week for a lot of things.”

Denise thought for a moment, looking around her office and checking the clock. She would have to do something about Chris soon, as other employees would be coming into the building. He looked so peaceful sleeping on her breast that she didn’t want to disturb him.

“Do we have an agreement?” Patty asked.

“As long as it is in Chris’ best interests.”

“Of course! Take down my number and we will work out the details.”

“I will. I first have to deal with him.”

“Send him home to sleep. Check on him later.”

“I can’t leave him as he is, that’s cruel.”

“He’ll be fine.”

“He at least needs to be cleaned up. I’ll say it’s a medical emergency or something. If I can get his pants back on.”

“Skirts are easier, just saying.”

Denise forced a laugh. She had much to get used to and a lot to mull over.

“One thing at a time. I’m going to let you go and I’ll message you from my phone

later.”

“Sounds good. Take care of my baby.”

Those words stung a little but Denise ignored them. She didn’t like the idea of being pushed around or relegated to just being a caregiver. It was also too early to admit her feelings, as one sided as they were, for Chris. He still remained a means to an end, however cute and cuddly he was.

“It’s okay, baby. Mommy is here, and no one can tear apart what we have. Let’s get you up and dressed. Mommy will take you home, change your diaper, and tuck you into bed.” She said, stroking his face and easing him awake. “Mommy loves you.”

Chapter 05

The sound of hard plastic clattering to the floor jolted me awake. I sat up with a start, barely aware of where I was or what was going on. My eyes took a few moments to focus and when they did, I saw a very familiar sight. I was in my bed at home.

“How the hell did I get here?” I asked the wall. “Last thing I remember was laying in Denise’s lap.”

I was still tired and I closed my eyes as I stretched. It felt like my whole body was stiff and run down. I pulled the blankets off my legs and looked down. The plastic pants were gone and in their stead was one of the pink Rebels diapers from my drawer. Seeing myself in that state made me take inventory of myself. I tapped the area above my boy parts and found that the cage was still there. A clench informed me that the hollow plug was missing. There was a low key burning sensation coming from my cheeks.

“Diaper rash.” I muttered. “I better add some cream when I change.”

I swung my legs over the side of the bed and stood. I was naked save for my diaper and while that wasn’t a huge issue, the fact that it was still daylight made me pull a shirt over my head. It was one of my larger ones that came down just enough to cover my private region unless I reached up. I didn’t have any clean pants free that would cover the added bulk of the Rebels. I had been wearing a medical diaper as much as I could to keep excess attention off me. They allowed me to dress normally while affording me enough protection to make it through the day. The ones actually made for adult babies were much thicker. The plastic shell they used felt nice as it rubbed between my legs as I walked. I made my way out to the kitchen only to have my heart jump into my chest. The noise that had woken me came from a woman who was in the middle of washing my dishes. I didn’t know if she had heard me get up, but for the moment, she was ignoring my presence.

“Uhhh, what are you doing?”

Without skipping a beat, Denise replied. “Washing your dishes. Your place really needs a woman’s touch.”

“I mean, what are you doing in my apartment?”

“I think that’s more than obvious, Chris. I’m cleaning. You really are a dirty boy, aren’t you? From your diapers to your kitchen. Just filthy.” “You changed me.” I said, matter of factly.

“I did. You needed me to. Desperately.”

“S-so y-you s-saw…”

“I saw everything. That’s what happens when someone changes your diaper.” She said, turning in my direction. Without pause or restraint, she walked up to me and cupped the crotch of my diaper. “You’re wet but not enough to change. Are you hungry?”

She was insanely cavalier about the whole idea while I was shaking from excitement and humiliation. I was also starving.

“I…uh…I could eat.” I assumed that she wanted me in her lap again.

“Good. Spaghetti O’s and a grilled cheese coming right up. I’d offer you more, but your cupboards are pretty bare.” She returned to the kitchen and pulled the can off the shelf. She opened it and poured the contents into a small pot.

“Y-you’re not going to…”

“Nurse you? No. Not this time.Though I love the idea of you wanting my breast as soon as you wake up. I didn’t know when you were going to wake so I went ahead and pumped. It’s in a bottle in the fridge. I didn’t realize how far into this you had gotten. I found bibs, binkies, and large nippled bottles. So I helped myself. And you can have it later.”

I didn’t remember buying any of that sort of stuff but then I remembered that Patty had sent me a few care packages to get me started, under the guise of keeping me in the mindset. I had put them out of sight the day she left. I felt like I was on the defensive and was embarrassed by everything she had found.

“S-sorry.”

“What is there to be sorry for? I’ll admit that I was surprised by what I had found, but after a little bit of research, I have a better understanding. I want you to know that you don’t have to be embarrassed about any of this. I said that I wanted to be your

Mommy and what better way than to understand you as a baby?”

I sat down at the kitchen table, wincing from the burning of the rash and at the crinkle from my diaper. I looked at the clock. It was four in the afternoon.

“I can’t believe I slept for so long. I completely missed work. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I logged it as a personal day and brought you home. I had some things to figure out anyway and needed the day off anyway, so, no harm, no foul.”

“I-I didn’t get a lot of sleep over the past few days.”

“I’m sure. You’ve been through an ordeal, but it’s over now.” She set a bowl of red sauce and circular noodles in front of me. She slid the sandwich onto the table and cut it along the diagonal, before handing it to me.

“I wish it was…” I said, thinking about what new torment Patty could inflict on me.

“Why wouldn’t it be? I’m only guessing, but you had that…thing…inside you to help you go number two, right?”

I nodded, taking a big bite of the grilled cheese.

“Then it only stands to reason that you wouldn’t need that kind of help anymore. You know what it’s like to have a truly full diaper and I will change you whenever you need.”

I swallowed, both from chewing and from the thought of her changing me again. Part of me was grateful that I didn’t remember what she had done.

“I g-guess so.”

“Well, I would think that you wouldn’t want to go through that again, right? And the best way to avoid something like that again is to just use your diapers properly, correct?”

“Y-yeah.” I couldn’t stop stuttering. I felt like I was shrinking in my chair as she verbally manipulated me into pooping my pants.

“Then it’s settled. You will use your diapers all the way like a good baby, and I will change them for you.” She said, sitting down. Her large breasts swayed slightly as she adjusted her weight.

“D-don’t you have to g-go h-home?”

“About that.” She said, handing me a spoon. “As it turns out, I’m in the middle of renewing my lease. And I live on the other side of town. If I’m going to nurse you on a regular occasion, I need to be closer to you. What better way than to move in?”

“Wait, what?”

“I’m moving in. As your Mommy and caregiver, it only makes sense that I stay with you. This way, you can have my breasts whenever your little heart desires, and I can have my baby to hold and care for. I’d like to say that this was up for discussion, but I’ve already started moving some of my things over. It’s really for the best. This place needs some TLC.” She said, “There will be some fine details to work out but that’s neither here nor there.”

My mind was blank and the food was good. I didn’t really know what to say, if I

could have said anything. I looked and sure enough, there was a suitcase and a few bags sitting by my front door. The matter was already settled it seemed.

“Finish your lunch and I’ll help you get dressed before we go grocery shopping.

We need to stock these shelves if I’m going to be cooking for you.”

I emptied the bowl and sat back. I was feigning letting my stomach settle, but in reality, I was wetting my diaper.

“I…I don’t really know what to say.”

“A thank you would go a long way.” She said with a slightly sterner voice.

“Thanks…Mommy.”

“You’re welcome!” She said, perking up. “Let’s get you dressed and we will go buh bye!” She got to her feet and took me by the hand, pulling me towards the bedroom. She backed me up to the bed and with a gentle push, had me on my back. She lifted my shirt up so that she could see my diaper. She went to the dresser, got another pink Rebel and dropped it with the wipes and the ointment on the bed next to me. I blushed and covered my face with my hands as she pulled open the tapes.

“I’m not sure what you are hiding from. I’ve seen all of this already.” She pulled the diaper away from my skin and I turned beat red, which didn’t go unnoticed. “Tsk.

Such a shy baby!”

She proceeded to wipe me clean while I squirmed from her touches, especially anything that was close to my cage. She was gentle to my backside, patting me clean with several wipes before adding more rash cream to the afflicted area. She pulled the used diaper out from under me, almost as if my weight was inconsequential, before unfolding the fresh one and fluffing it.

“Diaper changes are very personal events. The exposure and humiliation to being changed generally makes babies like yourself very squirmy and blushy. This is normal,” she said, “and it’s super adorable!”

She tapped my cheeks and I lifted my hips in the air so that she could slide the clean diaper under me. I settled down onto it as she pulled it up between my legs. She held it down with one hand as she pulled the tapes into position.

“There! All dry. Let’s get some pants on you so that we can go to the store.” She went to the dryer just outside my bedroom door and came back with a loose fitting pair of activewear pants. I stood up, admiring how well her tape job was before stepping into the pants.

“Go put on your shoes and we will get going.”

Yet again, I was riding in the passenger seat of a car. It was becoming a regular occurrence. While she drove and prattled on about work and the stuff she needed to move, I was in thought.

Moments. That’s all I seem to have is moments. How am I supposed to feel like a true baby if all I have are moments? How do other people do it? They seem to slip into this whole little space thing like flipping on a switch. Why can’t I? I don’t know. Maybe Patty is right. Maybe the reason I can’t be like them is that I don’t know how to let go of it all.

God, what is Patty going to say or do when she figures out that Denise is living with me? How’s it even going to work? It’s not like I’m going to be able to just run off to my room to do whatever task Patty sets for me. I’m sore from that plug. It was bigger than I am used to and I had to wear it for far longer. It definitely made me feel like a

baby though. Messing without any form of control. It’s kinda terrifying. I don’t want to go through that again.

And I probably won’t have to. For crying out loud, she just moved in! And she’s changed me. And saw my cage. God I want to get off. There will be no hiding anything from her now. I bet that she’s going to buy a diaper bag or something to take to work. I won’t be able to get away from her. It’ll just be tit after tit after tit. Change after change.

And for what? What’s the point if I can’t really feel like a baby? Sure, being breastfed while in diapers is as close as I can get, physically, but where is the mental? Where is the emotion? I look like a baby, but I don’t feel it. I don’t feel little. I don’t feel vulnerable. I just don’t feel…

I was wet before we even went into the store. That was the downside of wearing 24/7. My body just kinda got used to the protection a diaper afforded me, so I was going more frequently, but in lesser amounts. We got out of the car and headed inside and for the most part, I felt like I was doing any other shopping.

“Hold Mommy’s hand, baby.” Denise said, “I don’t want you running off.” “I won’t.” I said.

“I’m sure, but still, take my hand.”

“Is that really necessary?” I asked, looking around. No one was really taking any interest in us.

“It is, and I won’t ask you again. Unless you want a spanking, right here and right now, then take my hand!” She said, raising her voice.

A few heads turned to look at us and I started to feel uneasy. I took her hand and she pulled me towards the empty carts.

“Hand on the cart at all times.” She ordered. “And one last thing.” She reached in her purse and my blood ran cold. “I don’t want to hear any complaints from you.” She pushed the pacifier into my mouth as I whined in protest. I held on to the cart for dear life as she spun it around and headed deeper into the store. Everyone that saw me gave me strange looks or snickered. Denise headed for the clothing section and I paled as she wheeled the cart into the girl’s department. I tried to hide my face as she flipped through the rack of leggings. A few girls my age were shopping nearby and they kept looking at me. I pulled the pacifier from my lips to plead with Denise.

“Do I hafta have this now? Everyone can see!”

Denise said nothing but grasped my hand that held the binky and moved it back up to my mouth. I could see the girls behind her watching with great interest. Denise’s eyes were full of fiery purpose as she pushed the nipple back into my mouth. The girl’s giggled and pointed at me, joking to themselves.

“Behave yourself, baby. Mommy needs to find you some new clothes.”

I gasped from behind the pacifier and the girl’s laughed out loud. Embarrassed and humiliated, I hung my head and twitched in my cage.

“Turn around.” She ordered, pulling a black legging off the rack. She took it off its hanger and held it up to my butt. “I’m not sure these will fit. Let’s find a dressing room.” She pulled the cart and by extension me towards a clerk. “Excuse me? Yes, I need to use a dressing room.”

For reference, Denise was not a skinny woman. Full figured, but not obese, she had wide hips and thick thighs. She wasn’t going to fit in the size 10 leggings that she was holding. My small frame, however, would. The clerk didn’t even bat an eyelash as she led us to an open dressing room. A glance over my shoulder confirmed that the small group of girls were following us.

Close to the door, she handed me the leggings while I tried in vain to talk her out of this. “Pwease don’t make me do this!”

“It’s not up for discussion. Go in there and change or we can do it right here for all to see.” She grabbed the hem of my shirt. I could see the girls creeping closer, practically falling over themselves to see what was going on. I knew that my diaper waistband stuck up above my pants and it would be obvious to anyone who saw what I was wearing. As if the pacifier wasn’t enough of a giveaway. I whimpered, took the pants from her hand and went into the changing room. I felt trapped. I was going to be exposed no matter what I did and those girls were going to get plenty of enjoyment out of making fun of me. But it was either changed in private, or changed in front of a crowd so I kicked off my shoes and dropped my pants. The leggings were tight and I could barely get them up my legs. They were surprisingly stretchy and with some effort, I got them over my diaper. That’s when the magic happened. Look, I don’t know who designed leggings, or what hyper advanced alien race gave them to us, but my fucking god are they awesome. After pulling them all the way up and thinking that they were too restricting, they did this weird voodoo where they hugged in the right places and held in all the others. I felt them constrict around my diaper but not so far as to be uncomfortable. In fact, they were beyond comfortable. I looked over my shoulder into the mirror to see how my butt looked, expecting to see a huge bulge from the diaper. I was surprised to see an outline, but not one so grotesquely obvious as to cause alarm. There was a little bit of bulge in the front, thanks in no small part to my cage and the bulk of the diaper, but it didn’t look all that bad.

“How’s it going in there, baby?”

Her voice shook me from my obsession with staring at myself. I looked up at the rest of me and suddenly felt weird. I was holding my shirt up to where my knuckles were just above my abs. What was left of my tummy was showing and in that pose, it almost looked like I had definable breasts. The mind fuck was the pacifier still in my mouth. There was a disconnect between the way I felt and the way I looked, leading to a dysphoria in my appearance.

“Chris?”

I grimaced, and dropped my shirt. Whether I wanted to or not, I had to face the music.

I opened the door and stepped out into the store. Denise was right there waiting for me and behind her, trying hard not to look directly at me, were the girls. I blushed and hung my head, slouching my shoulders in shame and embarrassment.

“Stand up straight and let me get a look at you.” Denise said. I stiffened and tried to look anywhere but at the girls. I didn’t want to make eye contact with them, further exacerbating my humiliation.

“Hmm. Not bad. They seem to hug your natural curves.” She said, walking around me. I felt her lift up my shirt so that she could look at my butt. I felt like I was on display. An item to be perused. She moved around to the front and lifted my shirt again.

Her body was blocking most of the view as she felt between my legs.

“Well, girls, what do you think? Can you tell?” She asked, dropping my shirt. I paled and froze as the girls came up to me, looking me over. As if they were psychic, they were all looking at my lower half.

“There’s something there, but you can’t really tell. I don’t really believe he is,” one of them said.

Another one of them grabbed my butt, like, straight up grabbed my ass like she owned it. “There is definitely something there. I think I can hear it.”

“Well, screw guessing, let’s find out,” the third one said, putting her hands on my chest and pushing me back into the dressing room. The girls filed in after her and one of them shut the door behind us. “I want to see it for myself.”

“Yeah. Show us.”

“Don’t be shy!”

One of them pulled the binky out of my mouth as they surrounded me. Most of them had their cell phones out, just waiting to take pictures. Surrounded, exposed, and mortified, I felt panic well up in my chest as blood rushed to my face and tears formed at the corners of my eyes.

“Now, now, ladies. Let’s not be cruel.” The leader of them said, “Your Mommy told us about your little secret and we just couldn’t believe it. And we all promise, right girls? God’s honest promise, that if you show us your secret, we won’t make fun of you. What do you say, sweetie?”

I couldn’t see a way out that did have me being the butt of their jokes for a long time. Emasculated beyond what I had already endured, tears rolled down my cheeks as I pulled down the leggings, exposing the wet white and pink diaper I wore. There were several gasps and giggles, but no one took any pictures that I could tell. I shakily pulled the garment back up as the tears openly flowed.

“I can’t believe that it’s true!” One said.

“And you couldn’t even tell just by looking.” Another girl replied.

“Is it wet? It looks wet.”

“Okay girls, that’s enough gawking. Let’s let him be.” The leader said. No one said anything as they filed out and I found the pacifier shoved into my hand. The leader lingered for a moment before turning away from the door. She looked at me emphatically and leaned in to kiss me on the cheek. “For what it’s worth, I think you look pretty cute.” She took the binky from my trembling hand and held it to my lips. She took the sleeve of her shirt and wiped the tears off my face. “I’d babysit you. You know. If you need it.” She turned to leave and noticed my cell phone sticking out of my shoe. She picked it up and, because I’m a careless idiot that doesn’t password block their phone, got into my contacts. Her fingers danced across the screen before she handed it back to me with a smile.

“My name is Monica. I put my number in your phone.” She said, sounding like she regretted the decision. “I… Just text me or something, okay? I…we…weren't trying to be mean or anything.” She stormed out of the changing room leaving me sucking on my pacifier and wetting my diaper yet again.

I couldn’t look Denise in the eye the rest of the time we were shopping. I kept my hand on the cart and fiddled with my phone in my pocket while staring at the floor. At the bottom of the cart were a few pairs of those leggings and a couple of shirts. Denise went up and down the grocery aisles, putting various food items in the cart. We didn’t talk and I was too ashamed from being publicly ousted to a group of girls. Every young woman that passed us made me feel like I was back in that dressing room. I felt like they could all tell that I was in a wet diaper. It was as if I wasn’t wearing any clothes, just my diaper and my binky. I felt little and insecure, which made me hide behind her whenever someone my age came too close, and I could tell that she was loving every minute of it.

We roamed the store for a bit and ended up in the baby section. There were a few other people around with actual babies but they paid me no mind. Denise picked up a nursing blanket, some more wipes, bubble bath, and some bath toys. She was dropping the last few things on the pile in the cart when she paused and sniffed the air. She wasn’t alone in her suspicions as the other mothers stopped what they were doing to find the source of the smell. I knew it wasn’t me and when she looked at me, I shook my head.

She wrinkled her nose anyway and moved around the cart to my side. There were a handful of women all trying to locate the poopitrator and after checking their children, they were all looking in my direction. I was caught completely off guard when Denise turned me towards the cart, lifted up the back of my shirt, and pulled open the back of my diaper, peering inside. At least four women could see what I was wearing and I blushed red almost instantly.

“Nothing in here. You’re definitely wet but I didn’t bring a diaper bag with us. I should grab one while we are here.”

I couldn’t think past the humiliation and exposure. She let go of me and my mind went blank. I had been exposed and been diaper checked in front of complete strangers. I couldn’t take any more embarrassment. I wanted to run. I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry.

She found a unisex diaper bag, thank God, and we headed towards checkout. As she unloaded the cart onto the belt, I tried to look at anything but the clerk. It was as if she was doing it on purpose, as the clerk was the only female running a register.

Is there some magical connection between women? I wondered. It’s like they all immediately understand the situation or something. What more torment could she have for me?

It’s like my mind jinxed me for no sooner did my thoughts shift that way that Denise turned to me.

“I hope you’re hungry, baby. My breasts are starting to hurt.” She said it loud enough that everyone around us paused for a moment as if to do a double take. I nearly died from embarrassment on the spot. I hated this flaunting of my situation but even more I hated that I twitched only my cage and my stomach growled. My body liked the thrills, my mind couldn’t keep up with the reality.

The reality, however, was that no one cared. People looked at me funny when they heard her say such outrageous things but not a peep was uttered in response. They all just went about their lives as if I only existed in that singular moment and was forgotten just as fast.

I helped Denise load the groceries into the car and when I got into the passenger seat, I pulled the pacifier from my lips. My jaw was kind of sore from sucking on it.

Overwhelmed and emotional, I pouted as she drove us home.

My sour mood lasted the entire car ride and after when I helped bring the purchases into my apartment. We put the cold food away but she waved me over to the couch. She had moved my computer and my game stuff to make it more comfortable for her to sit on. She stripped her shirt and bra off and patted her lap.

“Come here sour puss, it’s time.” She said, “You don’t need your pants anymore. In fact, when we are home, it’s just a tee shirt and a diaper. That way I can look at that cute butt of yours.”

I took my shoes and pants off, kicking them aside. As I walked to her, I peeled my socks off before settling in on her lap. She was quick to slip a nipple into my mouth and it wasn’t long before the milk flowed.

“Since you are busy, I guess it’s time  I tell you why our trip happened like it did.

First, I wanted to prove a point. You worry too much about what other people think. Second, you are a baby. My baby, and I am going to treat you as such. I will dress you, check you, and change you however I see fit. If that means that I have to throw a blanket over you at the mall to feed you, I will absolutely do that. If that means that I

have to change your dirty diaper in a family bathroom, then I will.

“I can’t stress enough that you are a baby. I make those choices for you. All you need to do is be adorable and use your diapers. I’ll love you all the same no matter how messy you are. But don’t think this is all fun and games. I won’t hesitate to spank that little bottom of yours or pop a binky in your mouth when we are in public.

“Everything changes from here on out. The only thing I want you to worry about is enjoying your new life. You do that and Mommy will take care of everything else.

Okay?”

I nodded, skating her boob with my head. All I’d ever wanted was to just give up and let someone else be the adult in my life. She made it sound so enticing that I could almost rationalize her actions. Part of it was that she needed to prove that no one cared; the other part was…I didn’t really know, but I knew that something had changed between this morning and now. And it couldn’t have just been me falling asleep at work.

Grown up thoughts for grown up minds. I guess I don’t get to be grown up anymore. She’s patting my butt again. God I love it when she does that…

Chapter 06

The beast was monstrous. It stood easily twelve feet tall, towering over me like some goliath with a taste for my blood. It hadn’t seen me yet and I readied my weapon. One way or another, one of us was going to die. I took a mental inventory of my supplies. I had my bow and a few dozen arrows, though my skill wasn’t as good as it could be. I had my shield and my sword, both worn from seemingly endless battles. There wasn’t much nearby in the way of shelter and once the battle started, I wouldn’t have time to rest. Behind the lumbering beast stood my objective. A chalice. Legends have spoken of it and its vast regenerative powers, said to be able to cure any wound or prevent death. But all gifts from the gods come with a price. What you ask may not be what you receive, or others may pay the penalty for your greed. I, however, didn’t want the cup for myself. I was given this mission by one Lord of the Cloth. A holy man, he wanted to preserve such a gift so that it wouldn’t fall into the hands of evil, where the price for immortality would be easily paid.

The thundering footsteps of the beast grew closer and I could swear that it could smell my fear. Its movements changed as if it had been alerted to my presence. With no time like the present, I steeled myself, readied my blade, and moved in. I crept up behind it, hoping to land a critical strike. I raised my sword, prepping for the strongest swing I could muster and as I held my breath, my body coiled, tense, and ready, I-

“Bath time, baby!”

I pressed the button too late, missing my opportunity. My attack hit, but the timing was off and the beast was aware of my presence. It spun around and backhanded me, taking a decent chunk of my health and knocking my character across the room.

“In a minute!” I called out. “I’m in the middle of something.”

“Your game can wait, get your cute butt in here. I won’t tell you again.”

I sighed and paused the game. I had saved right before the fight so I had a chance to do it over again. I got off the couch and stretched before slowly making my way to the bathroom. I could smell the bubbles from the hallway.

“There you are. I was afraid that I was going to have to come get you.” Denise said.

“No. I heard you. I was just trying to beat that boss.” I said. She helped me out of my shirt before reaching down to undo my diaper. The rules stood. I wasn’t allowed to take it off without her express permission, and now that she was living with me, I didn’t get that very often. It dropped to the floor with a damp plop and I reveled in the cool air hitting my diaper region. Plastic backed diapers were so warm that prolonged wearing became really uncomfortable so she had me in a cloth backed one. They were slightly more breathable, but not by much.

“Whew! Someone smells like pee. Let’s get you into the tub and washed up.

Can’t have you going to bed smelling like that.”

“It’s not my fault. You won’t let me use the toilet.”

“First, it’s not a problem that needs solving beyond cleaning you up. Second, it’s a potty and you are in no way ready for something like that. And third, if you are wearing diapers, you are using diapers. Now, into the tub.”

I stepped into the warm water and let its therapeutic powers ease my muscles. I had had a long day of conquering beasts of legend and the water was relaxing. It was late Sunday afternoon and we were just milling around my apartment in preparation for the work week. We had spent Saturday getting the rest of her important stuff from her old place and moving it into mine. The rest, we put in storage. With the money she would be saving in rent alone, she could afford to store some of it. She had said that she was going to go through it one of these days and decide how much of it she really wanted to keep, but she wanted to get settled in at our place first. The bedroom now had two dressers, one for her clothes, and the other for my new wardrobe. By wardrobe, I meant the ever growing supply of diapers that were getting dropped off on a weekly basis. One drawer had some of my clothes in it, another, the new additions of women’s leggings and a few baby tee style shirts. When we were home, I wasn’t allowed pants of any sort, and most of my old clothes got bagged up for donation. They were far too tight to be able to go over my diapered butt, and since I wasn’t coming out of diapers any time soon, they weren’t needed.

“Busy day tomorrow.” She said, putting my shirt in the laundry basket and rolling up the diaper before dropping it in the trash. “We should get a diaper pail or something.

Maybe two. I’m going to need something at work.”

“About that. How is this going to work? Should we really be seen together?”

“Are we not consenting adults? Or are you ashamed of me?”

“I’m not ashamed of you…it’s just that…”

“You don’t want anyone to know what’s really going on?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, to that I say, who cares? More importantly, as we need each other and I’ve taken a more interactive place in your life, I would say that it’s inevitable.”

“That doesn’t-”

“And that it’s not a matter you should be concerning yourself with. Remember the changing room?” I nodded. “It doesn’t matter what other people see. At the end of the day, you are my baby and I need to take care of you. Which reminds me, I need to pack the diaper bag.”

“B-but I don’t w-want-”

“Baby, it doesn’t matter what you want. I’m the adult, you are the baby. I’m going to pack the diaper bag and I’m going to change you while we are at work. You can get as fussy as you want, but nothing is going to change those facts.” She said, “Speaking of fussy, how come I have gotten a dirty diaper this weekend?”

I blushed and looked down at the bubbles. “I don’t hafta go.”

“With all I’ve seen you eat, that’s a surprise.” She said, “It seems to me like you are holding it in, which is very unhealthy for you. Now, I don’t want to have to resort to drastic measures so I’m going to give you one chance to prove to me that you have learned this lesson.”

She dug into her pocket and pulled out a small key hanging from a small chain. The chain was new, but the key I recognised immediately. It was the key to my chastity cage.

“I want to make you a deal, baby. You be a good boy and fully use your diaper by the end of the day tomorrow, and I will take it off. If you don’t, or can’t, then I will be forced to use the hollow plug.”

“T-take it off? F-for h-how long?” I stammered. The thought hadn’t occurred to me that I could be free of my plastic prison.

“As long as you are a good boy, the entire time. But the second you get too big for your britches, I’ll lock it back up.” She said, “And I’ll even sweeten the deal. Regular dirty diapers and I’ll let you make big boy messes. In your diaper, of course.”

Is there any other motivator more powerful than getting off? I’m sure continuing to live is probably pretty high on that list, but go a while without having that release and then come talk to me.

I audibly gulped, twitching in my cage. I was mildly surprised that she was giving me a real choice and not forcing the matter. To be honest, the hollow plug was more cruel than it was fun. Being forced open for that prolonged amount of time was painful and I was still dealing with a rash. As much as I didn’t like the idea of messing myself on a regular basis, pain and discomfort is a huge motivator to reconsider.

“I…I’ll try.”

“There is no try. Either you will or you won’t, but just know that there is the potential for rewards if you do.” She said, “But enough about that, let’s get you washed up and ready for bed.”

Ready for bed was a nondescript phrase for being nursed. After my bath, she would put me in a fresh diaper, cuddle with me on the bed, and have me nurse from her. Then it was bedtime. My ability to play games after bathtime was reduced to zero, and I mentally kicked myself for not just shutting off my console.

Clean, diapered, and latched on, I thought about her deal while I nursed. To be fair, I was tired of the near constant stomach aches of having to hold it in. I was an every other day kind of guy, regular, but not too regular, though when Patty was there, I felt it was more like an everyday affair. I had been cheating my way through last week and had been caught and punished by her. I couldn’t wrap my head around the expectation of having to deliver a dirty diaper, much less their incessant need to have me do so. I mean, who wants to wipe some else’s ass? Not to mention that it’s far messier in a diaper than if I was allowed to use the toi…potty. However, I was feeling far more like a baby post plug than I was expecting. Being forced to mess myself and stay in it was a mind fuck to be sure, but would I have the same reaction to being bribed and coerced….?

Monday came faster than I thought it would. After waking up to Deni…sorry, Mommy, pulling me onto her breast before my eyes were even open and, when I was done, pulling my diaper open and wiping me with ice cold wipes, I finally managed to get dressed. Denise had been busy getting ready while I stumbled around the house, barely aware of what was going on. I tried whining that I wanted to go back to bed only to have a binky shoved in my mouth. I sucked on it with a dour expression while I waited for her to finish getting ready. With her purse in one hand and the diaper bag slung over her shoulder, she led me to the car and we headed off to work. The upside of being changed and fed at home was that I didn’t have to worry about being exposed first thing in the morning. I went and got caught up on the work that I had missed on Friday while Mommy worked in her office. By the time everyone got in, I was already wet. It seemed to happen at greater and greater frequencies. Like my body didn’t need to hold it anymore so it wasn’t going to. It was both scary, and kind of a relief.

Left alone, I worked and tried not to overthink things. I wanted to be able to fully relax and just let go, like Patty had been telling me. I thought about how Friday went. How I had been publicly exposed and humiliated, yet nothing came of it. I thought about what I wanted my life to be and if I was going to forsake that dream over a simple hiccup. See how trying not to overthink instead makes you overthink?

Hey cutie!

The tone that corresponded with the message was one that I hadn’t heard in a long time. It was the default tone to new contact messages, a fact I found peculiar since I rarely got any new contacts.

I waited a few minutes before I responded.

Hello. ???.

I don’t know why, but I wanted to talk to you. It’s Monica, the girl from the store the other night. Do you remember me?

As if I could forget. I thought. You and your friends trapped me in a changing room and made me show you my wet diaper.

Not really. I typed. I didn’t send it. Thought it through, and erased most of it. No.

Well, me and my friends kinda made you take your pants down for us. We…saw some things. I don’t want to come off as cruel. We were being nosey bitches and I wanted to apologize again.

It’s okay.

See? That’s what all of my friends are saying. But I don’t think so. I don’t think it’s okay that we made you do that and then laughed about it later. It’s fine, really.

Is it? I’m not asking for your forgiveness. You don’t know me and I don’t know you so I don’t deserve it. I just want you to know that I regret the part I played.

Okay.

I put my phone back in my pocket and went back to work. I didn’t know what to say to her. I didn’t know how to absolve her of her guilt.

Some time passed before my phone dinged again.

Can I ask you a question? It’s totally fine if you say no.

I couldn’t tell if my sigh was of annoyance or frustration.

Sure, I guess.

Do you normally wear those? Like all day?

At first, I didn’t know how to respond. If I admitted to a complete stranger that I wore diapers all the time, I was admitting to being a full baby. She seemed empathetic enough not to make fun of me.

Yeah.

Why?

That’s difficult to explain.

Try me.

Why do you want to know?

So I can understand better and be more sensitive to other people’s lifestyles. I was pretty ignorant the other day.

It’s just something that I’ve always liked. It’s hard to really pinpoint a reason.

Are you trans?

Trans?

Transexual. Guy trying to become a girl.

Why would you ask that?

You were trying on girl’s leggings. Crossdressing is usually the first step.

I’m not judging. Like at all. I’m just curious.

Her telling me that I was crossdressing was a mind fuck. I hadn’t thought about it from that perspective. I assumed that my wearing of girl’s clothes would be construed as a sissy act.

I’m not a trans.

Okay. There is nothing wrong with that. Thanks for talking to me, btw. I didn’t think you would. Not about what happened.

I don’t have many people to talk to.

You can talk to me. I mean, if you want. I won’t say anything to anyone. My friends can be rather intolerant sometimes.

Why are they your friends then?

Because they accept me and I accept them. I can’t change their minds by ignoring them. So what are you doing?

I’m at work.

What do you do for work?

I’m a warehouse guy. I get stuff for orders.

That’s cool. I work for a beauty salon. It’s my day off. What’s your name?

It hadn’t occurred to me that she didn’t know my name. I was kind of shocked at the question.

Chris.

It’s nice to informally meet you, Chris.

It’s nice to have someone to talk to.

I want you to know that you can talk to me about anything.

Okay.

So what’s it like wearing one of those?

What do you mean?

Is it hard? I mean, sometimes I have to wear thick pads during my time of the month and it kinda feels like one of those.

These are much thicker. Like, everywhere. And they swell.

Can’t be that thick. I couldn’t tell you were wearing one and those leggings were tight.

It felt pretty obvious to me.

That you had something on, sure, but not that. You hide it well.

Thanks.

I couldn’t even tell that it had been used. I’m used to my cousins where it’s obvious.

I didn’t know how to feel about this strange girl my age talking about the used state of my diaper.

It can get pretty obvious sometimes.

Like this one time, Terry’s was so full that he was waddling. He’s my cousin.

I couldn’t tell if she was ignoring me or trying too hard to dance around the subject. It was clear to me that she was interested in the how and why of my diaper wearing.

I try no to let it get that bad.

Is it a medical thing for why you wear them?

No. It’s a personal thing.

Sorry. I know I come off as nosey.

It’s fine. It’s a comfort thing.

They are comfortable?

They are comforting.

Oh. Like a security blanket or something.

Or something. I’m about to go to lunch.

Okay. Can I text you later?

Sure.

Bye Chris! It was nice talking to you.

I couldn’t help but wonder what her fascination was with me as I was flat on my back on Mommy’s couch while she changed me. She had music playing loud enough to drown out the sound of the tapes and the clean diaper being fluffed.

“You think about our deal?”

I nodded. “I haven’t forgotten.”

“Okay. You ready for lunch?”

I nodded again, sitting up. She sat behind me and I lay down in her lap. She intentionally left my pants down so that she could pat my butt. I latched on and she began talking about her day. I let her ramble as if I had a choice in the matter and wondered if Monica was for real. It seemed awfully coincidental that in the span of a few weeks that I would have three women interested in me when none had been before. I severely doubted that wearing diapers was the sole catalyst, though my perverse mind wanted to think so. It also couldn’t be my award winning personality. I was so bad at talking to people that I didn’t even have friends in the games I played online. My only interactions were when people sought me out. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was just a loser with a unique fetish.

Would they be as interested in me if I didn’t wear diapers??

Chapter 07

Back at work, with my stomach full and hurting, I tried to make the day go by. Mommy had been good to me and I was liking the comfort of a clean diaper in the middle of my day. I have to say, and maybe others out there agree, there is a ranking for diaper states. A clean one is high on the list, but for me, it’s like number two. The pinnacle of diaper states is after the first or second wetting, when the swelling starts and you really get that baby feeling. That, I’ma just pee my pants and no one can say anything about it kind of feeling. That warm and cozy feeling. Maybe it’s just me.

I was working away when the strange but familiar tone of Monica’s text caused me to stop working yet again. To be honest, my work was done and I was just going up and down the aisles to verify that no one had moved anything around on me.

Hey cutie! You busy?

No.

Wanna pick up where we left off?

You mean you trying to talk about my diapers?

Does that bother you?

Not really. But there is more to me than just that.

I know. But I have found that people are their most honest when they are talking about secretive topics. You can get a sense of how they really feel.

And how do I feel?

Relieved.

Relieved?

Yeah. I get the sense that you really wanted someone to talk to that wasn’t fixated on just one aspect of your life.

But you are fixated on one aspect of my life.

I want to understand this aspect so that I can understand the real you.

I am just me.

And that’s interesting to me.

Why?

I’m not really sure. It just is. But anyway, I wanted to ask you something.

About my diapers?

Kinda. Who was that woman that you were with? Is she like your girlfriend or something?

No. She’s just someone who takes care of me.

Like a nurse?

No. Just a friend.

I see. She seemed to really take charge with those pants.

She can be kind of bossy at times.

Is that something that you like? Bossy girls?

It’s something I don’t mind occasionally.

I see. Well, I guess I just have one last question before we move.

Go for it.

Does she change your diapers?

That question was easy to answer but hard to type. Whatever cute or sex appeal I might have in Monica’s eyes could be ruined with such an admission. However, the cramp in my gut was reminding me that the nature of the truth was bound to come out eventually.

Yes.

Like a baby?

The cramp worsened and I almost doubled over. I needed to go but my adult brain was fighting the reality.

Yes.

For both?

I’m not sure if it was the call of nature hitting at the right time or the thought of her steel blue eyes locking with mine as I had wet myself when we had met, but her face flashed before my eyes. She had a quizzical look as if she were waiting for me to answer the questions with actions. Like a baby? For both? My body gave out a resounding yes as I grunted and pushed, filling the back of my diaper with a weekend’s worth of mess. I groaned in relief as the cramp in my stomach eased while the contents of my bowel pushed into the seat of my diaper. My body kept going until I was empty and I could feel the hot substance reach from the top of my cheeks all the way down to between my legs.

The act itself was a pleasant relief, one that any human enjoys. The aftermath, not so much. I could feel it cling to my skin and stick in my creases. Almost immediately, I wanted to be changed. I didn’t like what I was feeling and I knew that the bacteria in it would not go well with my rash.

I refocused on my phone and her lingering question.

Yes.

I finally responded before switching over contacts to reach Mommy.

I did it. Was all I said.

Did what?

You know.

I’m not there to check you, so no I don’t.

I need to be changed.

I just changed you.

Mommy, please, I need to be changed.

Then tell me why.

Cause I’m dirty.

Is that how a baby speaks?

She was working me over. My submissive mind was loving it. She wanted me to give in to babyhood. With my belly full of her milk and my diaper full of my own waste, I felt very much like a baby.

I make poopies, Mommy. Childish wording. Infantile thought processes. But

fitting.

Good boy. Come to Mommy and I will change you.

I had gotten a few more messages from Monica and I read them as I waddled out of the warehouse towards Denise’s office.

I couldn’t even imagine doing that! That’s gotta take guts!

Major guts. I thought. Now they are filling up my diaper.

I guess that explains the pacifier. Nothing says baby more than a wet diaper and a binky.

If only you knew how I get most of my fluids.

I’m guessing that makes her more than just a friend that takes care of you.

Not a friend. My mommy.

I think that it’s pretty awesome for you to have someone who cares that much. I’m lowkey jealous.

I shook my head. I’m about to get my feces wiped off my body by an authoritative Mommy figure and you are jealous? Women are screwy.

Speaking of screwy, Mommy was insanely happy when I got to her office. She had already pulled out the wipes and powder. She hurriedly locked the door behind me before lifting my shirt and pulling the back of my pants open. The smell hit us both simultaneously.

“Well! I guess I get what I ask for! Let’s get you cleaned up.” She said, taking me by the hand. “Was it terrible?”

“Not too bad. I guess I just had to let my body do what it needed to do.”

I laid down on the couch and let her undo my pants. I looked up at the ceiling while she pulled the tapes open.

“Woof! That’s a smell right there!’ She said, “You were a little backed up.” She used the front of the diaper to wipe most of the mess off my bottom before she went to the wipes. “You’ve been a very good baby today. Mommy is so proud of you! I can’t wait to get you home and show you how much Mommy loves you!”

“Y-you mean…?”

“I do. This mean thing is coming off and we get to see how long you can be a good boy.”

It took a few wipes but she finally got me clean. She pulled a diaper from the bag and fluffed it. “This is the last one I have, so if you make any more big messes, it’ll have to wait until we get home.”

I felt completely babish at that last remark. My boy parts bobbed uselessly in their plastic cage as I lifted my hips up for her to slide the pink and white diaper under me. I settled onto it and she brought it up between my thighs. I was in a completely submissive mindset as she taped it on. I stood and pulled my pants back on, feeling the soft fabric of the diaper rub against my parts. I couldn’t explain why I was suddenly aroused. Perhaps it was the thought of finally getting the cage off or the praise that Mommy had given me. Or maybe it was the thought of being exposed for what I really am that had me all worked up. Whatever was doing it helped keep my mind away from work. Let’s be honest, work sucks. We do it because we have to. In my case, I’m forced to because Mommy drove me here. No one wants to hear about my job and I don’t want to talk about it. We all want the good stuff. The stuff that makes it hard to focus on the real world. Right?

Well, back at home, I was laying on my bed getting my big boy clothes pulled off me so that I could be changed. I was trembling in anticipation as she pulled open the tapes.

“Now, before we go any further, I want to remind you of the rules. Hands off of your diaper. No touching anything inside or out, or this goes back on after you go over my knee, understood?”

“Yes, Mommy.”

Pulling the key from her pocket, she unlocked me. She pulled the piece off that kept me from growing and gently worked the ring off my balls. I was already starting to grow at her touches.

“Easily excited, aren’t we? You’ll have to wait until bedtime before anything like that happens.” She wiped me clean and pointed me down as she covered my sex with a fresh diaper. I got a fat more intense sensation as I could actually move myself around in it. “You may go play your games while I make dinner.”

“Thanks, Mommy!” I said, hopping off the bed. I pulled off my work shirt and tossed it on my discarded pants. Mommy handed me a baby tee that came down to just above my belly button, leaving the entirety of my diaper exposed. She added a pacifier clip to my ensemble, gave me a firm pat on the butt, and sent me on my way. I flopped on the couch, turning on my console and TV before grabbing my phone while I waited for my game to load. I saw that I had a new message and when I opened it, my eyes went wide.

#selfiechallenge! Send a selfie back in 5 minutes or else!

The picture she had sent looked like she had just gotten out of the shower. Her hair was wet and she had a strange look on her face. Her eyes seemed to be burning with desire. She was naked and the frame cut off just above where her nipples would be. She was kind of biting the bottom of her lip with her finger placed like she wanted to taste something. I had seen the look before in captions and if I interpreted the impression right she wanted to-

Send me a selfie! I’ll be your best friend forever if you play along!

Her message caused the image to jump up and broke my stare. I spat the binky out and switched over to my camera. I hastily shot a picture of myself and sent it to her.

You’re such a good boy! But it looks like your mouth is empty. Slip that binky in and try again.

I paused for a moment as the menu music to my game started playing. It didn’t occur to me in the slightest how she knew about the pacifier. Mommy was off in the bedroom doing something so no one was immediately around. I popped the pacifier in my mouth and took another picture. I felt weird as I loaded it into the message and I hovered over the send button for a moment before I let my finger fall on it. That’s what I wanted to see! 🤗😍 Why did you want to see that?

Because it shows me that you are honestly expressing yourself. You’re not hiding it or being ashamed of it. It’s inspiring.

It’s just a pacifier.

I know. And I’m willing to bet that you would send me a pic of the rest of you if I asked.

I don't know about that.

Not yet, but it could happen. Whatcha up to?

Gonna play some games.

Boo! How about you talk to me instead?

About what?

Anything. I’ve asked you like a million questions, so now it’s your turn. Ask me anything about anything.

Like what?

I don’t know. Anything. Like what’s my favorite color?

I’d guess green.

Why green?

I didn’t know how to tell her the truth. When we were in the changing room, she bent over and I saw her panties. It was a total perv thing to look at, but hey, I’m a guy, and I can’t help what I see.

Just a hunch.

A hunch? Really? That’s what you are going to go with?

Sure.

I can see why you wear diapers.

What does that mean?

How hard is it to say that you caught a glimpse of my panties? You think I don’t know when guys are checking me out? More to the point, you don’t think that I do things like that on purpose?

Wait, you wanted me to see your underwear?

As if she planned it, a picture came through of her lower half, bare and smooth save for the same green panties she had worn the other day.

Of course! My friends and I pantsed you! Seemed only right that you got to see something in return. Besides they are just clothes.

I’m so confused.

Of course you are. You don’t know what it’s like to be a girl. That’s okay. I’ll teach you.

You’ll what?!

I’ll teach you how to be a girl.

Caught completely off guard, I stammered out loud. I looked over my shoulder to see Mommy staring at me. I dropped my phone in my lap and picked up my controller to start my game.

“Too much internet can be bad for you.” I said out loud. I played around with some menu settings in my game while I listened for Mommy to return to making dinner. She muttered something in agreement and left me be. I set my game to load my last save and paused it as soon as the beast appeared on screen.

What makes you think I want to know what it’s like to be a girl?

I don’t know. Let’s see. Pink, girly diapers? Check. Baby tees that show off the waist and belly? Check. Form fitting women’s leggings to accent the curves and butt? Double check. The fact that you can’t even admit to looking at my ass or giving me a compliment on it? Triple check. Face it, sweety, you are a girl in a boy’s body.

One, I was forced to wear that color, two, I was forced to put on those pants, and three, I was being respectful to your body.

Okay. One, that’s bullshit. Two, probably but still bullshit. And three, calling mega bullshit. Guys your age don’t give a shit about being respectful, they just want to get laid.

I’m not like every other guy.

Exactly. You are a femboi. Boy in the pants but gurl in the mind.

I dropped my phone again and tried not to let her words get to me. I turned my focus to my game. I didn’t know what to say to those allegations. My phone pinged and I looked down briefly at the message.

Am I wrong?

I resumed getting ready, making sure my setup was right before I crept up on the beast and attacked. It didn’t detect me this time and I did large amounts of bonus damage. It stumbled and lurched forward. The opportunity was mine to launch another undefendable attack when my phone pinged. I glanced down at the three words she had written and felt my mind knee jerk into submission.

Answer me sissy.

I tried to think of a way to explain myself out of the situation I was in. I had paused the game again and was mindlessly staring at my phone screen. For the life of me, I couldn’t think of a way to explain why I had been wearing a pink diaper and trying on women’s clothes.

I’m going to assume from your lack of a response that your answer is no.

Fuck. I thought. Why am I so unable to speak up for myself?

And that’s why we are going to be great friends!

Whaaaaaaaat?!

You and I have a lot in common. Except I don’t wear diapers.

Is she a boy too?

Just because you have a binky in your mouth, doesn’t mean that you can’t talk.

Sorry.

Am I coming on too strong? That happens a lot.

I don’t know what to say.

That you want to be friends with me.

What the hell is happening?! Someone who is my age actually wants to be friends with me! Hell yeah!

I do.

Then don’t worry your pretty little head about it. Go play your games. I gotta go get ready for work.

Okay. Have a good day. I didn’t know if I should add her name at the end of the message.

You too cutie. TTY.

I finally set my phone down and could focus on my game. As I was about to press start, I heard Mommy clearing her throat from behind me.

“Who was that, Mr. Chatty Cathy?”

“J-just a friend.”

“A friend? Someone I should know about?”

“We, uh, just started talking.”

“I see. Anything else you would like to volunteer to tell me?”

“Volunteer?”

“Yes. I’m giving you the chance to tell me openly what’s going on before I have to find out my way.”

My blood ran cold. I wasn’t sure what she was referring to and to be honest, I didn’t want to find out. I also didn’t want to end up back in the cage so soon.

“She’s…uh… You know those girls from the store that were kind of following us?”

“Yes. They were interested in why you had a binky in your mouth.”

“Well, after they…saw… cough…my diaper, one of them put her number in my phone. Her name is Monica and we’ve been talking.”

“About?”

“Me, mostly. She wanted to know about the diapers and why we were shopping

in the girl’s section.”

“And what did you tell her?”

“I told her the truth.”

“What truth?”

“That I…wear these…for comfort.”

“A skewed truth, then.”

“But still the truth. She asked me if I used them and if you changed them. I said yes.”

“That’s good. And the clothes.”

“She kinda worked it out on her own.”

“Worked what out?”

I sighed. “That maybe I’m not so manly some times.”

“So manly? Kind of a convoluted way to say that, don’t you think?”

“I…what do you mean?”

“I couldn’t help but notice how clean shaven you are, and, to be honest, how naturally submissive you are. Couple those two things with an effeminate physique, and you could be mistaken for a girl.”

I felt like I had been punched in the gut. I had hoped that Denise would still see me as a man, or at minimum a boy but it was clear that wasn’t the case.

“You look like I just kicked your dog. Don’t be offended, it’s not an insult. Femininity is beautiful. More so, honesty is beautiful. Don’t ever think that because something isn’t normal, that it’s wrong. Normal could be what’s wrong.” She leaned forward and pushed my legs apart to check my diaper. As much as I was trying to ignore it, I was rock hard and she clearly noticed.

“Is that for me or for her?” She asked, looking me in the eye.

I blushed and diverted my eyes. She continued to fondle the front of my diaper and a soft moan slipped from my lips.

“Someone likes Mommy’s touches, doesn’t he?” I could see her hand rubbing me up and down. Sensations hit me and I moaned again. I looked up from my lap and her ample chest was practically in my face.

“Mmmm. Good boy. Are you Mommy’s good boy?”

“Mmhmm.”

“Then follow me.” She said; she led me to the bedroom where there was some strange, cylindrical object sitting on the nightstand. She stripped down to her underwear and got on the bed.

“I want you to come lay on me.” She instructed. I did as she wanted, feeling slightly better as she pressed my head into her chest. She worked whatever the object was in between us. “Lick my nipple.” She said; I complied, thinking that she wanted me to nurse but, instead, a deep vibration emanated from the object between us. The power waves went right through the diaper and caused a chain reaction. We both moaned. I squirmed slightly and the object moved lower. She gasped as my brain melted. The business end of the object sat below my balls and the strong vibrations penetrated my core, stimulating my front and back. My subby mind jumped to the vibrating plug and how excited it made me. I pressed my body down on it and in turn, pressed it into Denise. Her moans got louder and her breathing accelerated. Mine shallowed to a rapid pant as I ground myself into the toy. I felt my body clench and release in succession as a craving grew in my mind. I pushed the thought away and focused on the moment, panting as gasping. Denise managed to grab my hips in an attempt to hold me as still as possible. Her grip in iron until her hands moved around, grabbing fistfuls of my ass and pulling my body into hers. I felt completely used and I didn’t care.

With a yell, Denise orgasmed, releasing her grip on me. She thrust her hips up, driving the ball of the object between my legs and sliding it up my backside. Its girth broke my brain and I came, pumping all I had into my diaper. I twitched and spasmed, rolling off her and onto my back. I felt the fruits of our labor running down between my legs, settling in the seat of my diaper.

I felt used, abused, and effeminate. With my eyes closed, I pictured Patty, her strap on bobbing after she’d had her way with me, ready to tape me into my diaper like the sissy I was…and I loved it.

“Someone is awfully smiley.”

I nodded, not willing to lose the image in my head.

“I’m starving. Come, baby, let’s go eat.” Mommy said, getting up. Her breasts swayed as she walked and my diaper crinkled as I followed her, happy and content.

Chapter 08

To say that I slept like a baby was both a pun and an understatement. Exhausted from getting off, I was drowsy and ready to sleep by the time we laid down for my last feeding. She had washed me, taking extra time to make sure my boy parts were super clean after being in the cage for so long. She made sure I was super dry before I was put in my nighttime diaper. I played on my phone for a little bit while she was in the shower. I expected to get a text from Monica but nothing. After our day of talking, I felt a kinship with her. She seemed to understand and accept me. It was a feeling that I didn’t understand but it was one that I liked.

Growing up in foster care, and in turn being an outcast because I was parentless, I never really had friends. No one of my age ever seemed to care about me. A loser even among losers, I kept to myself, which didn’t do much for my personality and never felt like I belonged. When I discovered video games and the internet, I finally found a place where I was always accepted. That’s the thing about trauma and the human psyche, you find a way to adapt.

It seemed to me that the past two weeks were nothing but me adapting, first to Patty and then to Denise. I slept that first cageless night feeling like I couldn’t really take any more adapting. My life was already chaotic enough and if pushed any farther, I’d snap.

Thankfully, life evolved into a new normal. Monica and I would talk about a variety of things. She would ask me occasionally how my diaper was and leave it at that. We were slowly developing a real relationship not built on just her interests in my perversions. I don’t mean perversions in a negative way. Abnormal behaviors sounded even worse so perversions it was.

Weeks passed and the changes in my life became a habit. I was diapered 24/7, changed regularly, and just allowed to be. I had gotten into a rhythm wherein I would mess either in the late afternoon after work or first thing in the morning. As a reward, and a reinforcement of my new lifestyle, I would get to lay in Mommy’s arms, on her tit obviously, while she would stroke me to completion, either letting it land on me, or absorbing it with my diaper. It got to the point that I was actively looking forward to messing myself simply for what would come (heh) afterwards.

I was still breastfed three to four times a day, depending on if it was a work day or not. Mommy Denise treated me like a baby, for the most part. She changed me, fed me, and allowed me little to no responsibilities. She even took over shaving me. I was already on the softer side of being a man, relatively unable to grow facial hair and what little hair that did grow on my body was easily maintained.

Mentally, I was relaxed. I barely noticed being in diapers. I would wear the thinner, medical ones to work, which allowed me to wear tighter and tighter clothes, usually jeans or the occasional legging, and thicker, more absorbent ones at home and to bed. On weekends, it was all thick ones, usually with designs on them, and still on full display. I didn’t mind being changed anymore, and I wasn’t shy when I was. Denise had even pushed me into some public changes in family restrooms. We would go into a stall of course, but every time we did, I could see her looking at the changing tables as if to convince herself that next time would be different. A lot of things were different. I wasn’t really aware of what was happening because I was too focused on just being me, but I found myself in those women’s leggings more and more often. My nails were growing out and Denise was less inclined to trim them. I was letting my hair grow and just trying to keep it soft and clean. I felt I was, for simplicity's sake, in a transition.

Hey ho!

Monica’s message came through as I was starting to play my new game. Mommy had just finished my after work change and the thicker Bunny Hop diaper had my legs kind of spread open as I plopped onto the couch.

Sup slut?

In our near daily talks, Monica and I had gotten well acquainted with each other. We moved beyond her saying things like cutie to more ingratiating terms, obviously with a sexual/ demeaning flavor.

Not much. Bored. Horny.

This was also typical. Denise explained it to me one night that because Monica feels safe and views me as non threatening, she’s able to speak honestly. As I can talk about being in diapers, she can talk about being promiscuous.

In other news: water is wet.

Pretty much. Are you still a good baby?

Of course.

Better be, or I’ll have to spank you.

If I had to explain my life to anyone, my answer would be weird. She had put herself in a strange, sisterly role. Even going as far as to refer to Denise as Mom, despite having only met her once.

In your dreams!

Fantasy more like, but anyway, what are doing this weekend?

Same old stuff.

Wanna hang out?

We hadn’t seen each other since we’d first met. And with my limitations, I wasn’t sure it was such a good idea.

I don’t know about that.

Why not? Can’t spare a few hours from your busy life?

It’s not that. I don't think I’d be allowed to.

You want me to ask for you?

It’s more than just permission.

Answer your door.

My brain barely recognized her message when a sharp rap was heard from the other side of my door. I didn’t have anything nearby to cover my diaper and had a mini panic attack.

“Can you get that, baby? Mommy is busy in the bathroom!”

I groaned and got up. I peered through the peephole before I opened the door.

“Not even hiding it, are ya?” Monica asked, brushing past me so that I could close the door.

“Come in, I guess.” I said, returning to the couch. I could feel her eyes checking me out as I walked.

“You been working on that swish?”

“Swish?”

“Yeah. Your girly walk. Every girl has one. It’s an added sway of their hips to draw attention to their butts.”

“I don’t swish.” I said adamantly.

“If you say so, but your hips don’t lie. That little boy bubble you have doesn’t either.”

“I don’t know what you are talking about.”

“Uh huh. So whatcha been up to?”

“You’re seeing it.” I said, sitting down and grabbing my controller.

“Lame! We go out and have some fun!”

“Out? Out where?”

“Anywhere. Anywhere but here.”

“I told you that I may not be able to.”

The toilet flushed and Mommy came out of the bathroom. She eyed up Monica before looking to see if I had covered myself.

“Able to do what?” She asked me. “And who’s this?”

“This is Monica. Remember me telling you about her?”

“Is that how you’re supposed to address me?”

“Sorry, Mommy.” I said, blushing. I could see Monica’s smirk at my humiliation.

Mommy turned around to size up Monica again. “Now that I think about it, I do remember you. You were one of the girls mocking my baby in the dressing room, weren’t you?”

The smirk faded from Monica’s face as she addressed my Mommy. “An unfortunate display of immaturity on my behalf. I have since apologized profusely for my behavior.”

“Ahh, yes, the customer service voice. Good for buttering up clients and management alike. Useless, however, on me.” Denise said, “So cut the bullshit, Miss

Priss, and tell me why you’re here.”

“Oh, you know, I’m here to further the embarrassment and humiliation of little pee pants over there.”

I looked down at the fading wetness indicator.

“Haven’t you ridiculed him enough?”

“Well, I was just saying that he has a pronounced girly swish.”

“I do not!”

“Hush, baby. Go lay on the bed and I will come change you.” “But I’m not even that wet!” I whined.

“Do you want me to add a spanking?” Denise asked, turning to face me. “No? Then march it!” She snapped her fingers and pointed towards the bedroom. I whined but got up and walked to the bedroom, my arms folded across my chest.

“I see what you mean. There is definitely a swish there.” I heard Mommy say. “I didn’t think it was that obvious until I looked. I’m glad to see…” I couldn’t make out the rest because of my crinkle walk and when I stopped to listen, I caught, “…is working.” She must have still been watching me because she chastised me for taking too long.

I flopped on the bed and felt very much like a little kid that had been shooed away from the grown up talk. I don’t know how long I laid there before Mommy came into the room. I sat up long enough to see that Monica was hot on her heels.

“If I’m going to allow any of this, I need to make sure that you can handle things.” Mommy said.

“I’m sure I can manage.” Monica said, standing at the foot of the bed.

“That wasn’t just for you.” Denise said, “Someone also needs to realize that I may not be the only one who changes diapers.”

I could feel my face pale. Never in a million years would I have imagined myself in this position. I stammered unintelligible words and Mommy set the wipes and a fresh medical diaper next to me.

“Pitter patter, have at her.” She said, stepping to the side. My eyes locked with Monica’s and as I felt her hands tug on the tapes of my diaper, my submissive mind took over.

My submissive mind, or subby state as I liked to think of it, was a psychological and physical reaction to being exposed, humiliated, or dominated. My mind went blank and my body just let things happen. It was freeing, on more levels than I could explain. I didn’t blush or shy away from her touches, even as she pulled the diaper open, and saw the complete me. I actually think she was more hesitant and shy about the matter that I

was, especially when Mommy handed her my chastity cage.

“This is just a reminder of where your place is.” Mommy said to me, “be a good boy today and it’ll come off later.” “Yes, Mommy.” I said.

“To be honest, I have no idea how this thing works.” Monica said.

“Oh, it’s pretty simple.” Mommy said. She took the thing from Monica’s hand. She separated it and in a moment, had it locked onto me. “I’ll keep the key so there isn’t any funny business.”

“That was really simple! And just like that, you’re not a boy anymore!” Monica said, patting my cage. She pulled the fresh diaper over my cage and taped it in place. “I actually think you are cuter this way. Like you have a little sissy secret.”

“There are plenty of secrets here.” Mommy said, rolling up the used diaper and dropping it into the pail. “Most are best left in the closet with the rest of the skeletons.

Now then, what should you wear?”

She rifled through my drawers and I felt my already tiny ego being crushed. With all the verbal humiliation I had already been subjected to, I figured it was only a matter of time before it went beyond. Little did I know that this moment would be the catalyst for everything to come.

I rode in Monica’s car, in the passenger’s seat as normal. I was fortunate enough to have gotten out of the house with only minor reminders of my place. Caged, diapered, and now in tight leggings, I did have one of my normal shirts. It was enough to cover my butt and the thinner diaper didn’t draw too much attention. My diaper bag sat in the backseat, another reminder that I was at the mercy of Monica’s whims.

“This is fun. Isn’t this fun?” She asked me.

“Where are we going?” I asked, “I’m not used to being out like this.”

“Diapered? Aren’t you in them all the time?”

“Well, yeah. But that’s not what I meant.”

“You talking about the pants? They are pants. They cover your legs. It’s not a big deal.”

She didn’t understand. She couldn’t.

“Maybe not to you.”

“Then explain it to me.”

“I don’t know if I can.”

“Try.”

“I…I don’t know. It’s one thing to go out when my secret is hidden. No one knows.”

“I know.”

“That’s different.”

“How? It doesn’t seem different.”

“You’re not like other people.”

“You mean because I don’t judge you? Or because I don’t use what I know against you? Do some of the things I said bother you?”

“No…yeah, kinda, but that’s not the same.”

“So it bothers you… I’m not trying to be that person you met. I’m not mean or cruel.”

“Monica, it’s not like that…”

She pulled the car into a driveway and shut it off. “It feels that way. I wonder why we are even friends.”

“Please don’t feel that way. We are friends. It’s…something happens when I let people…talk to me like that. I get…I feel…I….I like it.”

She was looking at me and I could feel my face get red. “You like it? Like it when I talk down to you? Why?”

“I wish I had an answer for you. A clear one.”

“But you have an idea. Let’s go inside to talk.”

I followed her into the house, my bag slung over my arm. Her room was upstairs and to the left. I felt apprehensive as we neared the door. There was a plaque hanging from it with her name on it. My entire life had been spent in isolation, rejected physically and romantically, and for the first time, I was going to cross the threshold into a girl’s room. Yet I was completely incapable of capitalizing on the notion.

Her room had white walls decorated with movie star posters and k-pop boy bands. She had a normal looking bed and a normal looking dresser. Her vanity, where I guessed she spent a lot of time, was in disarray, as was her closet. Various clothes were strewn about as if she couldn’t decide what to wear. She had inevitably settled on the tight fitting jeans and shirt, but it looked like she had run the gamut of options from dresses to skirts.

“Don’t look at the mess. I didn’t really have a plan today. You can sit on the bed. I’ll clean this up.” She sounded embarrassed at the state of things, similar to how I felt. I

set my bag on the floor and carefully lowered myself onto her bed. She rushed around the room, trying to make the mess disappear as fast as possible. She stumbled on a hanger and crashed into her dresser, causing a precariously placed wicker basket to fall to the floor. Numerous bottles of nail polish scattered across the carpet.

“Dammit! Sorry, I’m kind of nervous right now.”

“You’re nervous? I’ve never been in a girl’s room before.” I said. I helped collect the bottles and put them back in the basket.

“It’s just a room.”

“It’s more than that. It’s more than a lot of things.” I said, “all my life I’ve been a loser. Go nowhere, do nothing, be no one to anyone. And because I never had real parents, I’ve never really had any connection to someone. Always been passed around or passed over. And then I answered one question on a website and suddenly my whole life changed. I went from only imagining what life could be to having my sickest fantasies play out in real time.

“I’ve lived my life through screens, putting up walls, pretending that I had something more to offer than what you see. I mean, look at me. I’m nothing. And when people treat me that way, it makes me feel like I mean something to them.

“So if you want to know why I let people, that’s why. I’m everything they say and probably more. And I let it happen because I know that you and Denise aren’t being mean or cruel. You say those things for my reaction, because you feed off my humiliation, just as I do. And the more you do it, the more I know you care.”

Monica stopped picking up jars of nail polish and grabbed my hand. “I…I didn’t know. That stuff. Your past. Any of it. I’m sorry…”

I looked into her eyes and for a moment I felt some level of catharsis.

She continued, “..that you are such a little bitch! Sitting there about to cry over not being loved enough. What a pussy! It’s no wonder she put you back in diapers!

You’re the biggest baby I’ve ever seen!!”

She looked at me with a glint in her eye. A small smile crossed her lips and she leaned forward and kissed me on the cheek. “And we won’t even talk about that pathetic excuse for a penis!”

My bottom lip trembled and I felt a great swelling of affection for her.

“Thanks for understanding.” I said, handing her the last of the nail polish. It was a subtle green.

“You know, you have such long nails. Would you let me paint them?”

“Have I not been emasculated enough?”

She looked at me and cocked an eyebrow. “Like you don’t love the attention. And honestly, a little polish is the least I could do to you.”

“Let’s not go there.”

“Aww but why not? It’s all in good fun. A little foundation, some blush, and red lipstick would do wonders!”

“I’m not a girl!” I said, pulling away from her.

“So she says with her little clutter locked up, her pink girly diaper and leggings covering her spankable bubble butt. The boys would be too busy drooling to notice!” She exclaimed, putting the basket back on her dresser. She set the green one on the vanity and went to her closet. “We are about the same size, so most of this should fit you. What do you think? Schoolgirl skirt, thigh high tights, and a low cut shirt covering a lacy red bra? No? Too cliché? You’re right. The lace only works if you have the panties to match. You need lift. Support in the right places. Sports bra. Keeps the ladies in check.” She turned around to smile at my mortified expression. “Relax! I’m joking. A sports bra wouldn’t do you any good.”

“I can’t tell if you are serious or not.”

“A little. As much as you seem to object, you don’t really mind wearing girls' clothes.”

“You know I don’t get much of a choice in the matter.”

“Which makes this all the more fun! I could put you in anything I want! And you’ll let me do it!”

“I-“

“You’re blushing! I’m just messing with you! I won’t make you do anything that you aren’t interested in.”

“Says the girl that changed my diaper.”

“But you love wearing those, so that doesn’t count.” “Whatever.” I said, moving back to the bed.

“Testy much?

“It’s whatever. Downside of being me. Everyone thinks they know what’s best for me.”

“I don't think I know what’s best. I think you are confused and overwhelmed. You’ve been so engulfed in this new life of yours that you don’t know how to reconnect with you.” She said, “So how about this?” She brought the basket of nail polish over to the bed and set it next to me.

“We are going to get your mind off of everything.”

“By painting my nails? I don't think that’ll help.”

“Not your nails. Mine.”

“As you wish.”

“No. I don’t wish it. That’s not an order. We are just going to hang out and paint my nails. No talking about any of this other stuff. Just two friends hanging out.”

She sat, plopping down on the bed near me. She rifled through the polish to find the remover and some mothballs. She set about cleaning off her toes while I sat there. I looked around the room and tried not to feel like a failure. I saw that she had a full length mirror on the wall. Monica was focused on her toes so I went over to it. I didn’t have one at my house so I didn’t really know how I looked. I imagined the hentai drawings where the diaper was so exaggerated that it was impossible to hide. I stood in front of the mirror and lifted up my shirt. I was amazed at how the leggings held to my body. I turned around and looked over my shoulder. I expected to see a noticeable bulge but only found my butt to be more shapely.

Are my hips getting wider?

The only thing that made my pants obviously feminine was how high they came up my stomach. The cut was enough to accentuate my natural curves but with a long enough shirt, they just looked light really tight pants. I sighed audibly.

“Wondering why you don’t look how you thought you’d look?” Monica asked me.

“Imagination vs reality.” I replied.

“What are you imagining?”

I paused for a moment. “It doesn’t matter.”

“It does if it’s that important to you.” She got off the bed and stood next to me. She was gorgeous, at least to me. She was right that we were about the same size, minus her A cup chest and my short hair.

“What you see isn’t what has to be. Happiness isn't something you can fit in a box. It has to be worked on. Molded. And nurtured. You weren’t happy before and you look less happy now. If all you need is to see what could be, then let’s make that happen. And I promise that it will be our little secret.”

I was terrified of uttering the words but I had to. I had to do something. I had to choose.

“Make me into a girl…”