AuthorPalt

Tutorial Rewrite 70 (Patreon)

Published:

2023-01-17 11:14:43

Imported:

2023-03

Content

My head feels weird. I’m… what is happening…?

His gaze meets mine and mine meets his.

Master has three heads.

My hand is in his jaw. He’s chewing with a wolf’s jaw. But master isn’t a dog. If anything, I’m the—

Master’s left head whines. I’m not in a cave, I’m in a mansion. A wonderful, beautiful mansion where I live with his many other servants, and we are so happy, and he is so kind to us, and every day we eat delicious meals, and we are so happy, and every night we sleep on beds of softest cotton, and every day is sunny and bright and warm, and we are so happy, and sometimes we even get to eat yummy yummy yummy treats like candies and cookies and cakes because he is so kind to us and we love master and master loves us.

But master is a dog. No, he’s a wolf.

Master isn’t a wolf. I know he isn’t. Master is just like me… He’s…

What is master? Master isn’t a human. He isn’t a goblin. What is a human? I am a human. Master is… Master is like me. Whatever I am, master is like me, because he’s good.

But I can see master in front of my eyes and he has the heads of three wolves and he’s eating my hand. Master shouldn’t be doing that. Master is a fine gentleman, a noble of great status, who with his great compassion and his great love and his great intellect has ruled these lands with compassion and love and intellect.

But he’s a dog.

But he’s master.

But master is a dog.

<You have learned:

Delusion Tolerance Lv.4>

<You have learned:

Delusion Tolerance Lv.5>

<You have learned:

Delusion Tolerance Lv.6>

<...>

<You have learned:

Delusion Tolerance Lv.9>

<You have learned:

Delusion Tolerance Lv.10>

<You have learned:

Delusion Resistance Lv.1>

<You have learned:

Hallucination Protection Lv.3>

I look at the creature before me. It is a three-headed hound, and I have never seen it before in my life. I have not lived a happy, content life in the service of this being, and it is not a merciful master. My right hand is gone. That’s how it is, and that’s what happened. I let my guard down. I should have rolled inside in the fetal position. I should have—

<Paw.>

My body jerks.

That slimy thing is inside my skull again. I can see the world in front of me in double, one being this Hell that I now inhabit, the other being the Heaven this creature wants to lull me into. But there’s one sense it hasn’t fooled. No matter what I see, no matter what I hear, no matter what I feel, no matter what I think, I can still smell what this thing truly is. And it smells like a wet dog.

And still, and yet, my body moves. Robotically, on all fours, like a pathetic, drooling, slobbering dog, I crawl towards that massive being, the stump where my right hand used to be leaving a trail of blood in my wake. It isn’t master. I am not a servant. And still, I can’t help it.

I can’t help it.

I’m beneath it now. It’s massive. The sound of its heart is as loud as a bass drum. The two eyes of its lower heads pierce into me.

My hand trembles, and yet I raise my left hand.

<Good boy.>

Master’s upper head lowers towards my hand, his maw opening wide, his WHITE teeth glistening in the dark, and even though I see him for what he is, even if I see the massive beast he is, I still think to myself, as his jaws clasp around my hand, slicing it off as neatly as any knife would, that he truly is a gentle master.

Blood splurts.

Blood. RED.

RED blood. Blood RED RED RED RED RED RED RED RED RED RED.

<You have learned:

Delusion Resistance Lv.2>

I fly to my feet, one step back, but then my mind and instincts flip into gear, and instead of trying to escape the Cerberus, I instead leap towards him, the stumps where my hands used to be splurting blood left and right, and without so much as a hint of hesitation, I shove both stumps into his two eyes, deep in there, and his whine and his bark almost shifts the world back into that rosy lovely happy wonderful perfect excellent happy lovely wonderful yummy perfect place, but I won’t have it, and instead of falling, I shove my stumps in deeper and deeper into his sockets until I can feel his eyeballs pop.

With the Cerberus blinded and panicked, I leap back down, pausing only for a moment before I go at it again, throwing myself at the left head’s supple throat. I may not have any hands but my teeth will have to be enough.

<You have learned:

Chew Lv.4>

I chew my way through his simple living leather and into his throat, letting my weight tear it out by letting go with my feet.

The Cerberus' massive paws swat at me but I’m as nimble as a bobcat, leaping aside and quickly doing the same thing to the right hand as I did to the left. When I return to the ground, all that’s left is the final middle head.

I stare at it, my eyes narrow and focused. It stares back at me, eyeless.

And then, it howls.

A high, stable tone slips out of its rounded lips, filling the cave like a single hallelujah in a massive cathedral. It is ethereal. It is inhuman. It is a sound only master could make. The pitch is steady, beautiful, and so divine that I can feel warm, salty tears stream down my face. I’ve never heard anything prettier.

<Be me.>

I lift the stumps of my hands to my face, to my eyes, and then I press them into my sockets so hard that I can feel my eyeballs pop. I can’t see anything anymore.

<Be me.>

Using my clawed feet, I tear off my own ears.

<Be me.>

I bite off my own tongue.

<Be me.>

A sound emerges from my bleeding throat. “Oou… Oooouuuuhh…”

It is a foul sound. It’s wrong. It isn’t good. It’s horrid, and terrible, and the kind of throat that would produce such a sound must be purged. It is only right. It is justice.

But I have no hands with which to claw out my own throat, and my feet won’t reach, either. A hollow horrid haunting lump of lead settles inside the pits of my stomach. I can’t be him. I will never be him. I can’t even punish myself for my sin of not being him. I am worse than imperfect. I am an insult to him.

Staggering, I approach him, exposing my throat, begging him, pleading, urging him with all of my heart to undo what I am.

Gently, his massive wolf’s head falls towards me, his great maw opening.

<Be me.>

Something shifts. As his maw closes to take my throat, that great humming of the cave fades, the final verse of his hymn dying, leaving behind an empty numbness that reverberates within my chest like the final mumbles of a dying man and with a swiftness that surprises even myself, I pull my throat back just in time to avoid an unfortunate de-throating, but I don’t flee, I don’t escape, instead, I throw myself at his throat, my legs snaking around his furry throat, my teeth sticking deep into his throat, chewing through his soft hide, into his throat, where I crunch crunch crunch it, so that when he scrambles back, jaw opening to sing his song again, no sound will emerge.

He, much like myself, has become less than imperfect.

<You have learned:

Chew Lv.5>

<You have learned:

Chew Lv.6>

<You have learned:

Sharp Fang Lv.9>

<You have learned:

Sharp Fang Lv.10>

<You have learned:

Dagger Tooth Lv.1>

I bite and I bite and I bite and I bite and I bite and I bite and I bite and I bite and I bite and I bite and I bite and I bite and I bite and I bite and I bite and I bite and I bite and I bite and I bite and I bite and I bite and I bite and I bite and I bite and I bite and I bite and I bite and I bite and I bite and I bite and I bite and I bite and I bite and I bite and I bite and I bite and I bite and I bite and I bite and I bite and I bite and I bite and then I stop biting because he isn’t fighting back anymore and there’s nothing more to bite because his divine throat is gone and through the hole that’s left I hear his final divine breath leave his divine body and the breath smells like dog’s breath.

<[Level Up]>

<Agility has increased by 4.

Strength has increased by 6.

Stamina has increased by 6.

Magic Power has increased by 2.

Dagger Tooth has increased by 1.

Chew has increased by 1.

Hurry has increased by 1.

Ulcer Resistance has increased by 1.

Indigestion Resistance has increased by 1.

Delusion Resistance has increased by 2.

Parasite Resistance has increased by 1.>

<You have received 1 000

points for clearing the floor.

You have received an additional

1 000 points for being the first to clear

the floor.>

<For clearing the stage completely,

you will receive an additional reward.>

<To repay your debt,

the additional reward has been

traded for 5 000 points.>

<4 Gods have shown a positive response to you.

You have obtained 4 000 points.>

<26 Gods have shown a negative response to you.

26 000 points have been deducted.>

…Four gods? Who’s the extra one? The gods have been kind of radio silent this entire floor, and I have no idea why they would react negatively, but who’s this fourth one?

<To repay your debt,

the floor clear reward has been

traded for 1 000 points.>

…No answer? Alright, then.

I look down at the cerberus corpse beneath my feet.

Wait, hang on, I need to loot the boss before I—