Tutorial Rewrite 57 (Patreon)

That’s a pretty nice sight. A sight for sore eyes, one might say. My only question is, does this mean that the shades will now also be level 19? Because, frankly, I would rather that not be the case, thankyouverymuch.

<Top—Status—Community>

<PrissyKittyPrincess

Human Level 19

Strength: 41

Agility: 65

Stamina: 61

Magic Power: 28>

Lookin’ good, all things considered. I still have no idea what to do with my magic power thing. There are magic books and things you can buy in the shop, but I’m not exactly in a place to buy them.

…Shoot, I should have asked Moleman about it! Man, with how stupidly kind he is, I’m sure he would’ve handed it all over for free. I’ll have to ask him about it next time we meet. Assuming there’s another conference, that is.

But, right now, I can’t really afford to consider those kinds of thoughts. I’m stuck in a completely black forest together with a supposedly unlimited amount of clones of myself who can appear at any time to try to rip out my throat. Yeah, that sounds reasonable. Was this difficulty even designed to be properly beatable? Who knows.

However, the fact remains that I fight better with food in my stomach. So, even though all I really want to do is lie down and take it easy, I squat down and start disassembling the shade.

But just as I start flaying the meat off the right femur, I feel something. Some little hint of what’s to come.

I pull the leg out of its socket and spin around just in time to thrust the entire bony thing into the jaws of another shade, but I’ve got more weapons than just my teeth, and within only fractions of a second it starts wheeling its claws to me. Grunting, I use my feet for once and kick it away from me, the femur flailing out of its gnashing grip. I hunch down, and the moment it leaps at me again, I’m ready. Grabbing it from below, I lift it high into the air, ripping and biting into its soft, exposed underside. Warm blood streams down onto my face and body as the creature on top of me howls in pain. It scratches feebly at my back, its final dying attempt being to bite into the back of my neck, but by that point it’s too weak to fulfil the attempt.

<Shade (Lv.19) Defeated.>

And like so began my hellish three weeks in the forest.

It would have taken a lot less time if it wasn’t for the shades, but even if they hadn’t been around, I’m sure it would still have taken at least two weeks just to trek the distance. Running in the darkness is just asking to face plant a tree, or trip on a rock and break your jaw, or fall down a small cliff to break even more than just your jaw. Climbing trees to get around doesn’t work either. Not to mention that the shades also like being up in the trees, so a nice nightly climb just turns into battle royale, tree version.

Regarding the shades, I have discovered three things. Firstly and most importantly, they do not have authority skills. I’m sure they don’t have fetal position blowover, though I can’t be certain of the great values sniffer one. They might have TRT, but since it wouldn’t have any effect on me, I can’t tell if they use it or not. But they have all of the other skills, including resistances. Secondly, their level and skill levels update alongside mine. The one and only trump card I have compared to them is FPB, which I have now become a frequent user of. But FPB is purely defensive and distractive. The third and final thing is that they really do look exactly like I do. If I’m covered in blood and guts from the last shade, then the next shade I meet will also be covered in blood. They even wear my beloved leopard pelt, which I of course steal every time. I now have five dozen leopard pelts. Is that enough or too little? How much does one pelt sell for? Will these even be sold? I have no idea.

As I’m musing all of this, a soft wheezing reaches my ears and I narrowly but accurately dodge a strike from a shade. The moment after his attack misses, I attack in the small gap, gouging my clawed hand into his lower back, jimmying it around until I can grab his spine properly, which I quickly pull out, the stringy nerves getting severed like bowstrings as I do. The shade mewls incomprehensibly and I finish him off by biting into his neck hard enough to break his upper spine and sever the lower brain stem. And with that, he drops. The wheezing dies with him.

<Shade (Lv.23) Defeated.>

To explain, these things really do spawn in with the exact same body as me. So, if I have, purely for the sake of example, a small calculated hole in my windpipe that causes me to wheeze with every breath I take, then the shades will also have that. I think this, alongside the FPB is the only reason I’ve survived. If a shade breaks my arm, then the next one I face has a broken arm.

It’s a simple concept that has led me to this point.

Sniff sniff sniff. I can smell the chalice. It’s close now.

It’s high up, though. But I can’t smell blood on anyone but myself, so I think that, just maybe, I won’t have to face any shades on this climb. I just need to go straight up. Yup. That’s it.

I walk forward and walk right into some sort of smooth, stony surface, possibly breaking my nose in the process. But it’s fine, because I can unbreak it enough to use it for sniffing just by wiggling it around and clearing out the blood. I run my hands over the surface in front of me. Yeah, it’s relatively smooth. Still rock though. Going by how close the chalice is, I assume the thing is on top of a small rocky cliffside or something. Well, nothing to do but climb.

I thrust my clawed fingers inside the gap between the rocks and heave myself up. Sometimes I jimmy my fingers too far in and they break and I have to tear the fingers off afterwards, but it’s fine. As long as I climb, it doesn’t really matter what happens in between.

<You have learned:

Salamander Healing Lv.2>

<You have learned:

Climb Lv.5>

<You have learned:

Falling Tolerance Lv.4>

<You have learned:

Organ Rupture Tolerance Lv.3>

And after only an hour or so and falling only two times, I reach the top. Heaving myself on top, I’m surprised to find myself falling down face-first onto the platform in front of me, breaking my nose yet another time. Damn it. But, I’m here.

I pull the bush from my inventory, briefly blinded by the light it exudes.

In front of me stands a large ornate chalice seemingly made of silver, kind of like the ones they have at the olympics. Well, not much else for me to do, I guess.

I toss the bush into the chalice.

The whole place erupts with such intense light I might as well be standing next to a small sun and the terrible WHITEness of it is enough to temporarily blind me and probably also cause permanent optical nerve damage and I’m so shocked by the whole thing I stumble down and fall onto my back, clutching at my face, trying to cover my burning eyes as best as I can. The light is so bright that even with my hands in front of my eyes and even with my eyelids squeezed shut, the light still comes through, making everything I see RED.

H—holy heck, what even—

And then the blinding light turns more mellow, and after a few moments or minutes of hyperventilating and grinding my molars in pain, I’m finally able to muster enough courage to open my eyes.

It’s… light.

The sky above is blue. I can see the sun.

I stand up. A nice fire is burning softly in the chalice. If I look out to where I came from, there’s a huge forest. Very green. But if I look at where I’m standing instead, I can notice something just slightly disheartening.

…This is a castle, isn’t it?

I’m standing up on an exposed tower, at the very top of a big castle. I say castle, but it’s half-eaten by the forest and mainly in ruins. If I look down at where I came from, there’s a trail of blood and abandoned fingers along the wall. If I look at where I started this whole climb, I can see a simple door leading into the castle. Behind where I’m standing, right beside the chalice, is a staircase.

…I didn’t need to do any of that climbing. I could’ve just gone up the stairs like a normal person. I hate my li—

<Tutorial stage,

Hell Difficulty Fourth Floor

Boss Stage>

<[Clear Condition]

Banish the unhappy king of poets.>

Uhuh. Alright. And where do you expect me to find this guy?

No answer? Yeah, that’s about what I expected.

Anyway, my left hand is only hanging on by a few stray nerves and a sliver of skin, so I think I’d better heal up. I couldn’t see any shades looking out across the forest, so I’ll assume they’ve all gone and croaked. This in turn means that, for the first time in around three weeks, I can actually sit down and meditate and heal up fully. Isn’t that just swell?

Almost excited, I sit down and cross my half-shredded legs.

I close my eyes.

<A Canto appears to you.>

Aaaaand there it is. Alright stage, show me what you’ve got.

<And to a place I come where nothing shines.>

Right, useless as usua-,

Hang on. I can read it?!