"Dragon Catches a Thief" Script Preview (Patreon)

“Twenty eight levels down…how deep does this ruin go I wonder…?”

“You better not get us lost. I miss the sunshine and I don’t want to have to stay in this dingy dungeon for longer than I need to.”

“Oh no, don’t get it twisted. We ain’t leaving until we get us some treasure. And I mean real treasure, not some crusty old holy artifacts like we got on our last expedition.”

“At least the only monsters down here are puny little slimes, heh.”

“That one from before actually tasted pretty nice~”

*BURP*

“Heh, excuse me.”

“Hey, hold on.”

“Rgh!”

“I need you to lockpick this door.”

“There we go, now let’s see what’s inside…”

“No way…no…way!”

“Ho….my gods!”

“Look at all that!”

“Have you ever seen so much gold in one place!?”

“Bloody hell!”

“Right, listen, we need to keep this between the two of us.”

“No one else knows about this place! We’ll be rich!”

“We need to gather up as much as we can for now. Come on, what are you waiting for?”

*Gleeful and excited laughter*

“You’re a sight for sore eyes~”

“Wait…did you hear that?”

‘Shit! Get down!” (Ducking behind cover)

*Deep Inhale* (Waking up)

*Deep Exhale*

“No one ever said anything about a dragon!”

“I know you’re there…” (Sensing that there’s an intruder)

“Come on out…I won’t bite~”

(Short pause)

“....fine then…I’ll just have to hunt you down…”

*Sniffs the air*

“Yes…two of you…”

“You don’t smell like spellcasters…nor do you reek of metal armor…”

“You are…ill prepared for a fight…yes...”

“You smell more like…thieves…lowly beggars trying to steal my treasure…”

“It matters not…you are all meat to me~”

“Shit…we need to split up, you go that way, I’ll go this way!”

“Just do as I say!”

“Ah…I can hear you…the adorable pitter patter of frantic footsteps rushing through the gargantuan halls of my lair~”

“Music to my ears~”

*Sadistic chuckle*

“Shit!”

“Yes, run, little morsel~!”

“Fuck! Stay back, monster! No!”

*CHOMP*

*Swallow*

“Ahh~”

“Not bad~”

*Licks lips*

“I haven’t tasted orc in a long time.”

*BURPS*

“Oh, she’s quite the fighter in there~”

“Feisty meals are always so entertaining.”

“Now then…”

“There’s just one more I need to find.”

“Oh adventurer~!” (Taunting, teasing)

“Come out, dear~”

“Hiding is pointless~”

“I will find you.”

“And when I do~”

“You’ll be joining your companion~”

*Sadistic cackle*

“Are you having fun out there?”

“Getting lost in the vast underground labyrinth of riches?”

“Not many mortals get the privilege of laying their eyes on my horde.”

“It is all that remains of a dead empire…”

“Hehe…yes, keep on running, fool~”

“It makes it easy for me to follow your footsteps.”

“Your timing was impeccable. I had just awoken from a long hibernation…extra hungry.”

“You will make for a lovely breakfast~”

“I’m getting closer~”

“I should warn you, while I do prefer swallowing my prey whole, I will use my teeth and fire if it’s necessary to catch you~”

“I promise that melting in the warm embrace of my stomach will be far less painful~”

*Sniffs the air*

“That scent…oh, you’re making me drool…”

“I’m going to catch you… little prey-thing.”

“I’ll make you mine~”

“There you are!” (Spots her prey)

“Ha!” (Makes a grab)

“Caught you!”

“Yeeesssss~”

*Licks lips*

*Deep breath in*

*Deep breath out*

*Sadistic laughter*

“Thank you for the thrilling hunt~”

“Oh! You’re an elf!” (Noticing the pointed ears)

“I suppose that explains the alluring scent~”

“Elves taste divine! You’re a delicacy among my kind.”

“You’ll be much more appetizing than your orc friend.”

“Oh~ Wee lamb…you tremble you adorably in my claws.”

“Make sure to squirm on the way down~”

*Licks lips*

“Aaaaahhhhh~” (Opens maw, slowly lowering her meal inside.)

“Hmm?” (Stops)

“What did you say?”

“Hehe, well this should be amusing. Very well, snack, give me one good reason why I shouldn’t eat you.”

“Ohh~ You think I’m beautiful? Ah yes, I see! Yes, praise me more~!” (Prideful)

“Oh yes yes yes, I am very powerful and wise too.”

“I am indeed stronger than the gods themselves, thank you for noticing.”

“What did you just call me?”

“Fat but in a good way?”

“Hmm…interesting choice of words. I’m not quite sure if I like that compliment though. Where exactly are you going with this?”

“Ah, I see now.”

“You want me to let you go and in exchange you will sing my praises throughout the many kingdoms, spreading my legend across the land.”

“Sorry dear, but that’s not going to work on me.”

“I’m already a legend.”

“I am Ssajsarak, master of the old flame, eternal queen of the land and sky!”

“The fact that you haven’t heard of me is your own folly.”

“If I want to make myself known then I will make myself known.”

“But you…you know the location of my precious treasure horde, so I can’t let you leave here alive~”

“Understand?”

Now now, no more fussing. You had your shot and now it’s meal time~”

“Hehe~ Tell me, elf…how does it feel knowing that your lifespan is about to be cut short?

“If you claim to think I am beautiful, then you should feel thankful knowing that you will soon become a part of my gorgeous and powerful body~”

“Don’t forget, you tried to steal from me. You’re getting exactly what you deserve~”

*BURP*

“MMmmmph~”

“I think that was your friend saying she wants company~”

“She must be getting lonely inside me.”

“Still trying to squirm away?”

“Hehehe…so adorable~”

*Licks her prey*

“Mmmm~ So scrumptious~”

“Ahhh~” (Opening jaws)

*OMPH*

“Mmmm~ Mmmm~ mmm-mmm…” (savoring the flavor, long moment of rolling her prey around in her mouth)

“Hmmmm~” (Content and satisfied)

*GULP* (Swallows down prey)

“Hahhhh~” (Contented sigh)

“Down you go~”

“Oooh~ I feel invigorated!”

“Nothing like a good hunt to awaken the primal instincts.”

“How is it in there?”

“Hehe, you’ll have to speak up, darling. I can barely hear you!”

“Hmm~”

*cough, cough* (Weak, wounded)

“Guh…shit…she ate you too?”

“Yeah…she…*hisses in pain*...she got me pretty good.”

“Nah…I don’t have any fight left in me. I really did give it my best. Sorry…”

“I’m going to meet my maker. It’s not exactly the most glamorous death but I guess it’ll do.”

“Ah quit your complaining…”

“Some of us are trying to die in peace over here.”

“Tch…elves…seriously…”

*BURP*

“Heh~ Pardon me~”