Pokemon Chapter 1 (Patreon)

I died in one of the most pathetic manners of them all. I made a mockery of myself and just generally made a scene. Before I died, I was invited by a family friend to introduce me to a lovely young woman a couple years younger than me, and everything was going well during our date at a certain Italian restaurant...But then it happened, while we were discussing our careers, I had told her I was in the IT industry, and she proceeded to tell me what she did for a living.

Her very words haunted me, even as I laid upon a strangely soft and shifting surface with my eyes closed, as I tried to return to the calm non-embarrassing land of death. "Oh, I work as an adult entertainer doing video streams."

And thus, I died. Choked to death on my spaghetti noodles, knowing that my uncle had set me up with a cam girl that he was subbed to.

"Can you stop moving or something." I said tiredly as I rolled around on the oddly angled soft surface I was on and as I opened my eyes, I realized I was laid on some kind of large hill of sloped fur or something that was lying on its back.

Realizing I was 'transmigrated' after my pathetic death as I still had my same body with the same scar, I had across my hand from cutting my hand in wood working class, I stilled as even in my still panicking state I realized that for whatever the fuck reasons, which ever dumbass god sent me here decided to drop me on the stomach of a monster bigger than a fucking elephant.

But before I could freak out as I took in where I was, a thick paper airplane of all things flew through the air. Parting the air with the sounds of wind passing by its wings that pierced through the sounds of the hefting breaths of whatever I was upon. And of course, my own subtle movements as I sought the best way to get of the creature without awakening it.

Seeing the airplane that was making more noise than was possible I gapped as it cleanly flew through the air and with an anticlimactic end landed right on my chest with the front edge of the airplane actually stinging my chest as its front collided with my t-shirt covered chest.

Rubbing my stinging chest, I opened up the letter and fucking deadpanned as I read the letter and relaxed against what I now knew to be Snorlax.

"Dear Jake Barriss, Unique ID AE198423, I am Jake Barriss Prime of Heuco Mundo and seeing as it was my turn to yeet a fellow Jake into the multiverse with a little cheat. I decided with my soul domain to check the latest Jake Barriss's deaths. And really... You choked to death on noodles when you found out that your uncle set you up with the girl, he nutted to on her live streams?" I had to look up into the cloudy sky that reflected my dour feelings... 'It wasn't my fault the surprise killed me! Plenty of people die chewing on a steak or something in restaurants due to surprise, I am not that weird!' I mentally howled.

But the letter continued, and I obviously kept reading it. "So, either way with how you stuck out to me I decided to send you to a world to get some R, and R so you could fix your mental state first... But then my wives called you a bitch and told me to take you to a more realistic, fatalistic, and just generally dangerous Pokémon world so you could get your ass in gear." But the next letter made me relax a good bit as laying on a dangerous Snorlax was a terrible idea.

"The Snorlax you were dropped on is a 'very' high level one, so its aura is keeping the weak mons away from you. Now as for what your cheat is... I would say to figure it out for yourself, but after several Jake's died due their powers requiring certain catalysts to even activate them. Its been mandated that we got to tell you the basics, which I think is bullshit as I got thrown into the deep end and had to fight my way out of Hell like I was playing Doom on the hardest difficulty." The letter continued to rant about how the new generation of Jake's were cowards that needed to be hand lead through their trails at first and thus was a liability at the highest levels as the Jake Conglomerate had to keep bastards like, The Company, and The Guild from invading the universes they created.

"Jeeze, just tell me what the hell my cheat is... I don't want to get eaten by a fucking Scyther!" I hissed as I kept reading the damned letter that went on some spiel about how The Company and The Guild would attempt to steal their universes for no reason other than being dicks or just being too lazy to just make their own.

Finally, though at the damned end of the letter I got to the paragraph that would explain my supposed cheat. "Alright any who, your cheat is rather simple at its core. You can bond with a Pokémon that bears a typing or more like you can attune yourself to match one of the typing they carry even if they have two typing's you can only attune yourself into one of them. Once attuned into the energy you will be resistant to said typing as well as gain the ability to use said typing energy and in time after training you will be able to use the human ability of aura or whatever to recreate Pokémon moves or even just make new ones."

"No, you cannot attune yourself to the Snorlax beneath your scrawny ass... It would literally collapse your very soul and thus for at least the next six Pokémon that you attune yourself to and gain their typing's, they will need to be at the baby evolution so they don't damage your soul. Now most importantly remember. This is a more realistic world, Pokémon eat one another, and humans also eat and are eaten by Pokémon that have a meat-based diet. And most relevantly criminals wont calmly do a Pokémon battle, they will literally just shoot you in the face with a gun so don't get cocky until you attune yourself to a Steel or Rock type or something to become more durable."

"PS- Should you survive getting to civilization, just say you are a refuge from the Orre region that got teleported here by a powerful psychic. It's your best excuse and you will have some mental protections against psychic Pokémon scanning your mind for stuff like your past life and stuff."

"Well, that's just lovely." I cursed as in nowhere within the letter did it tell me how to actually attune myself to the Pokémon in question and although I was definitely de-aged a bit, I was by far older than some ten-year-old going on their journey so it's not like I could get some kind of starter Pokémon.

Standing atop the Snorlax I tried to look over the thin forest surrounding where I was to get an idea of where I was and thankfully the Snorlax was seemingly atop a hill so I could see far ahead and from my vantage point I saw what looked to be a decent sized river or something in the South maybe a couple miles or more away at most.

"Let's get going to water... Where there is water there is life, and thus hopefully life that won't want to eat me." I said grimacing at the thought of traversing the forest ahead of me.

As bugs of all things were the most likely to be omnivorous or even predatory hunters so they wouldn't tear their nose up at eating me.

-

I made my way quietly through the forest trying to project a confident demeanor as I saw a fair number of Pokémon while I headed south, mostly being Taillow and their many other Pidgy variants, but I noticed a concentrated amount of Taillow's flying together through the sky's with the odd Winggull hovering the sky as they looked down at the ground.

When I heard some bushes shifting loudly, I froze as from out a thick hedge like brush stomped out a tired Tropuis of all things that locked eyes with me as I was frozen under its tired eyes.

Wordlessly and silently I just met the Tropius's eyes before I gently began to backtrack away from the monster that was even taller than I was. Thankfully the Tropuis just snorted seeing me respectfully leaving its territory while it just remerged with its hedge that was wrapped around a large banana tree, so that its long neck could strained to reach up into its branch's to continue eating.

"Fuck... This place." I cursed shaking as I saw the large dinosaur shaped monster take its measure of me and deem me no threat to it and let me go on my way. "Oh my god is that a road!" I hissed after another almost five-minute walk through the forest and thankfully only seeing Wurmple, Caterpie and other super common bug types.

And finally seeing the large rock paved road I almost bent over to kiss it before I hesitated as I wondered why the road was legitimately made out of rock and not something like asphalt before it hit me that roads were likely built with the help of rock or even steel types to begin with.

So, seeing the road I obviously began walking along it as it would be by far the fastest way for me to find civilization and hopefully make some kind of life here.