November Bonus Scene - In the Long Run (Patreon)

Summer 2001

Brooke was unhappy about Ben’s growing popularity.

Granted, it was his twenty-first birthday and it was the summer after their junior year of college. His build had filled out a good bit after high school and his acne at long last had cleared, which was great for him.

It wasn’t like she wanted to be unhappy for her best friend; he was clearly delighted with his newfound status. In a solid, serious relationship for the first time, with a pageant queen to boot – his ideal world, she thought, drily. With way more friends than only her, which was what they’d had during high school.

But Brooke – well, she’d never wanted all of that the way he did. Okay, she wouldn't turn down a girlfriend. Or even more friends, maybe, depending on who they were. But not really with the mass of people in the house at the party behind her; maybe with people that were more her speed. However, the process of opening herself up to get those things… she wrinkled her nose at the thought.

She was just fine, thanks.

Running her finger over the lip of the cup she was drinking out of, she sighed heavily. Her dad was gone for now – one of his away-for-several-months binges, she was sure – and her mom… well, she’d rather wait here until the party leveled out so she could spend the night in the guest room than go back to her childhood home and see her, given the amount of liquor bottles Brooke had noticed in the cabinets when she'd dropped by last night.

She froze when the door behind her opened and the music and voices from the party spilled onto the back porch.

“Well, well, well, Brooke Watson. I didn’t realize the real party was out back.”

Brooke relaxed in one measure at the realization that it wasn’t any of those strangers inside, but Taylor. And then her stomach clenched and she took in a deep breath through her nose and held in her sigh at the fact that – it was Taylor.

She shot her a glance from the side of her eye. Taylor was twenty-four now, and had come strolling in the day before for Ben’s birthday. She may be a nomadic hippie who had no direction in her life and her parents could rarely find her when they wanted to call, but hey, so far she rarely missed a birthday.

Twenty-four and only prettier than she’d been a few years ago. Brooke’s jaw clenched as she side-eyed Taylor. It really was totally unfair. Taylor didn’t care about having been born into the perfect family or to stick around for them, also unfair.

And still, Brooke was relieved that it was her who’d found her out here as she walked closer. For everything Taylor was, she was never judgmental and her company, when she wasn’t teasing, was usually… fine.

The thought made Brooke take a sip of her drink. Fine.

Better than a stranger who would make Brooke feel awkward, at the very least.

The fact that Taylor didn’t feel like a stranger at all, that her presence was comfortable, even though Brooke hadn’t actually spent more than five minutes alone in her presence in several years was kind of remarkable. At least, it was to Brooke. It was a quality Taylor had that Brooke somewhat envied.

Not that Brooke generally wanted to spend a lot of time with most people, but it would be nice to feel constantly at-ease with them during the times that she did. Taylor was blessed with that, a gift she didn’t think Taylor realized she had.

The thought made her scowl into her cup.

And the scowl only deepened when she caught Taylor’s eyes and noticed the bright grin on her face, as she sat down on the top step. Close enough to Brooke that she could smell her perfume, and some of the hair that was pulled over Taylor’s shoulder brushed against her own.

Brooke pulled her legs up to the step right below her, taking a deep breath and holding it for a few beats to make her body relax again into the muted heat that the night had chilled just enough to be comfortable.

“Whatcha drinking? It's not good to drink alone, you know? Sitting out in the dark… might give someone ideas about you,” Taylor teased, her voice playful.

Only all Brooke could picture was the fact that her mother was definitely sitting alone in the dark and was either drinking by herself or had been earlier, if she was passed out by now.

Her stomach twisted, anger burning through her at the unwitting comparison. She turned toward Taylor, actually looking at her fully now, a barely muted irritation heated her words, “It’s only a sprite!”

There was a softness in Taylor’s eyes, a smile in her voice that easily told Brooke she hadn’t thought twice about her comment. That it hadn’t been meant the way someone who would have teased her back in high school would have meant it. Of course, not thinking twice was a big part of Taylor’s problem, wasn’t it?

Brooke sighed and tipped her head back, turning away from Taylor again. Deep breath. And relax. She took another breath and held it, until she felt her shoulders untense the slightest bit.

It worked until Taylor leaned in against her side, their bare arms pressing against one another as Taylor gently ribbed her. “Come on, Brookie, tell me why you’re out here all alone. Drowning your woes in sprite.”

The irritation flashed back in an instant and Brooke cut her a sharp look at the nickname. “Don’t call me Brookie.”

It reminded her far too much of Brookie Cookie, the oh-so-clever moniker of the girls who had teased her in middle school when she’d been chubby. Before she and Ben had started karate and she’d continued it into boxing.

Taylor’s eyes were still warm, and went soft now. “All right. Tell me, Brooke.”

She thought back to the scene in the house, grimacing at seeing Ben in the midst of all of his new friends. Making out with Teresa, in the middle of the room.

“I don’t really want to watch your brother slobber all over his girlfriend while being surrounded by sweaty strangers. Why are you out here?”

Because by all accounts, Taylor loved a party.

Taylor chuckled, settling her hands behind her as she rested back on them, crossing her long legs as she stretched them down the stairs. So easy and relaxed, always. “I don’t really care to see my little brother slobber all over his girlfriend while being surrounded by sweaty college students, either.”

Brooke felt a little smile tug up her lips, even as she turned to look across the yard. For all of their differences, they had one thing in common, she thought in a dark amusement to herself.

She jumped, though, when she felt Taylor’s warm hand on the small of her back, and her voice was uncharacteristically quiet. “If you want to talk about that, though… you know, I always thought my brother, Mr. Manners, had enough of them that he wouldn’t be a total thoughtless ass, and do that in front of you.”

Brooke’s spine was rigid at the soft, coaxing touch. She was wearing a t-shirt, but it felt like nothing substantial enough to block the feeling of Taylor’s hand.

Brooke shot her a glance, clearing her throat against the stupid feeling in her stomach. “In front of me? What makes me so different than him acting like that in front of everyone else?”

The defensive edge in her voice was uncontrollable. She wasn’t really shocked that Taylor thought the same thing as everyone else. That she was too uptight, too rigid –

“Well, I mean, because you and Ben… we always thought you two would be together and now, there he is with Teresa McPageant Queen. That has to suck.” Taylor's voice was uncharacteristically soft and sympathetic.

Her and Ben?! The thought was so ludicrous, the scoff was on her lips even as she turned to give Taylor a look like she was absolutely insane. “Me and Ben? Together? I don’t – I don’t have a crush on Ben. I never have.”

The denial was firm and she shuddered at the thought.

Which seemed to amuse Taylor as she pushed herself to sit up straight again, laughing as she spoke, “Excuse me, sorry.” Brooke could see out of the corner of her eye the sidelong look Taylor gave her. “So, if not Ben, tell me about the other college guys.”

Brooke frowned at the thought before she could control it. “Uh, no. No… guys,” she admitted, her voice quiet. There was a nervous flutter there that she still had when voicing that truth about herself, even though she was no longer technically in the closet. Not to herself or Ben or the handful of somewhat-friends she had at college.

The soft swaying Taylor had been doing paused against her side and Taylor’s hand landed on her thigh, as the truth settled in. She lit up in an excited smile, a vibrant one, as she gave Brooke an encouraging look. “College girls! Oh, that’s much better.”

It was such an easy acceptance, it made things feel that much easier. She didn’t think she’d ever seen Taylor actually be judge-y, that was actually more Brooke’s own territory. And she’d known Taylor was a lesbian for almost a decade now, so it wasn’t as if Taylor would be anything but accepting.

Still, her stomach twisted in embarrassment and she stared across the yard as the question settled in. “I mean, yeah. But, no. There are none of them to talk about, either.” She waited for a moment, waiting for any sort of teasing Taylor response.

But the hand on her thigh that made her stomach twist just patted her in a move she supposed was meant to comfort. It just tied her up in even bigger knots.

“You’ve always been very into school and studying. If that’s what you’re wanting to focus on now, then, you know, women will always be –”

A harsh laugh broke from her lips and she was unable to stop it. “Yeah, um, it’s not for lack of my wanting it.”

It took everything inside of her not to groan in embarrassment. Really. Really. What was wrong with her? She eyed her sprite carefully; it didn’t taste spiked, but… you never know.

Taylor’s silence was at most twenty seconds but it felt like much longer, before she said, “Those women must be crazy, then. You’re a catch, Brooke Watson.”

Brooke set her jaw, leaning as much into the pillar on the porch to her right as she could, away from Taylor’s touch. There wasn’t much space, though, and she could still feel how close she was.

“I don’t need you to lie to make me feel better. It’s fine.” Her words were as stiff as her back.

“I’m not lying,” and to her credit, Taylor’s voice was quiet and somber. Not very Taylor-like at all.

Still, Brooke rolled her eyes before turning to face her. “If that were true, I wouldn’t be almost twenty-one and still never been kissed. But like I said. It’s fine.”

She regret her words as soon as they left her mouth. Mortified, she groaned and dropped her head against the pillar holding up her right side and squeezed her eyes tightly closed, so she wouldn’t have to look at Taylor’s wide, dark eyes.

A few seconds of silence beat by before Taylor’s hand stroked down to her knee and her voice was quiet but firm. “Well, I would kiss you. If I was one of those women at your college.”

A disbelieving snort escaped her and she didn’t bother to open her eyes. “Mhmm. Right. You, of all people, the gorgeous Taylor Vandenberg would notice me and think yeah, that's the girl.”

“I would!” Taylor insisted, her thumb stroking over Brooke’s knee. “I would right now, but I know some people really think a lot of their first kiss and I wouldn’t want to take that –”

Brooke opened her eyes just so she could roll them. “If by think a lot about it, you mean, I wish I could just get it over with, then. Yeah.”

God, did she wish she could just get it out of the way, so that –

In a move so smooth she could hardly comprehend it, Taylor slipped from where she’d sat on the porch and stood, taking Brooke’s hand as she did so. She didn’t even realize she’d been tugged to her feet until Taylor’s hands were on her waist to stabilize her and everything fell totally and completely still.

She’d never been this close to Taylor – to anyone – in her entire life. Close enough to see the very light sprinkling of freckles over her cheeks. The ring of light brown around the outer edge of her eye, visible in the moonlight. To feel warm breath wash over her lips as she tilted her head up instinctively to hold Taylor’s gaze that was staring down on her, seeming more riveting that it had ever been before.

Brooke’s breath caught in the back of her throat and everything inside of her balled up so tight, she had no idea what any of those jumble of feelings actually were, as her wide eyes caught Taylor’s.

Taylor arched an eyebrow at her, as if asking a question. But Brooke couldn’t even register what she was being asked, because things just felt slower.

Until Taylor murmured, “You okay?”

And without even realizing it, she nodded. She – well, her heart was racing and she didn’t know what to do, or what she was actually doing, but – yeah. Yeah, this was somehow… okay.

“All right then,” Taylor breathed, before she slid a gentle hand up to Brooke’s jaw and pulled her in.

Her eyes widened and then fell closed the moment Taylor’s mouth brushed against hers. Heart hammering in her chest, Brooke didn’t – she had no idea what she was doing. It was all that echoed in her head as Taylor stroked her thumbs along her cheeks and her lips – wow, Jesus, they were soft – slid against Brooke’s again.

“Put your hands on my hips,” Taylor whispered against her mouth, and the feeling of it struck through Brooke like lightning.

Everything felt clumsy and her hands shook but she did as she was told. She put her hands on Taylor’s – Taylor Vanderberg’s! – hips, as Taylor hummed against her, her lips hovering over Brooke’s still, only centimeters away.

“Good. Hips, waist, and back – generally safe when you first kiss someone, okay?” Taylor’s voice was so low and Brooke could only barely allow herself to nod, her back so rigid she was sure it might break.

Because what the hell was she doing? This was Taylor, and she didn’t even like Taylor, because Taylor was irritating, and –

And Taylor leaned in again, her lips sliding over Brooke’s once, twice, and then a third time, each one creating more of a flurry in Brooke’s stomach. She slid her hand from cupping Brooke’s jaw into her hair and she could feel Taylor sift her hair through her fingers, before taking a slight fistful. She slid her other hand down, so her thumb slid over Brooke’s chin.

She stroked there and everywhere she touched caused heat to spark. Like there were little fireworks, like… good ones, going off on a trail over her skin, and the feeling of it made her gasp.

“Relax,” Taylor whispered into her mouth, her fingers sliding down from Brooke’s chin to neck, thumb settling over Brooke’s racing pulse.

Relax! Taylor wanted her to relax when she was – her mouth was – and her hands were on Brooke and making her stomach feel –

Taylor sucked Brooke’s bottom lip between her own, her tongue sliding over it and then releasing, before she used the hand in Brooke’s hair to angle her head and she licked into Brooke’s mouth.

There was a strangled moan in her throat, her entire body feeling like it might actually melt at the sensation. Oh, relax. Yeah, she – she got it. Her fingers tightened on Taylor’s hips, before sliding up to her waist, marveling at just the feeling of her.

This was what it was like, she thought dizzily, this is what it was like to kiss someone. To kiss a woman. A really, really beautiful woman.

To be kissed by a beautiful woman.

She slid her tongue along Taylor’s, mirroring what she’d had done to her as she experimentally took Taylor’s lip between her own. Then slid her lips over Taylor’s and dove in again, causing Taylor to breathe out a happy little sound against her.

The sound slid through the air around them, right into Brooke’s core, and she nipped a little with her teeth to see –

Taylor’s thumb pressed a little harder against her pulse, in a way that made a shock race through Brooke, a strike of heat bolting straight through her. The hand in her hair tightened, tugging Brooke’s head back and making her groan deep in her throat.

And immediately, Taylor’s hand in her hair was gone and the touch on her neck had slid back up to her jaw. Gentle again, as she softly leaned back. Brooke felt her press a final kiss to her lips and there was something in it that felt distinctively final – she guessed this really was kind of instinctive – that told her they were done.

Brooke’s stomach was tied in knots, her knees feeling embarrassingly weak, as the lust raced through her, and she finally opened her eyes. She didn’t want to open them, she realized and felt incredibly dumb as soon as she did. She wanted them closed and to stay in that moment.

That was new. And discomfortingly weird.

And Taylor’s eyes were on hers, seemingly as dark as the night sky now, a gentle smile on her face. She waited until Brooke took a deep breath to slowly release her.

“See? The women at your college are idiots.” She stepped back and Brooke only realized in that moment that her hands were still on Taylor.

She moved them behind her own back, grasping each other tightly, and was unable to get any words out.

It didn’t matter though, because Taylor tilted her head at her and beat her to it. “I’ll see you later?”

Brooke managed a strange nod/shrug combination that she hated herself for the second after it was done. And then, in typical Taylor fashion, she was gone and Brooke was alone.

And in typical herself fashion, it was only when she was truly alone that she could let her shoulders slump and she was finally able to take a deep breath.

It took her another minute to gather herself enough to sit on the porch step again. And then another five minutes before she could sort through her feelings enough to know what they were. The arousal… she’d never felt that because of someone else before. Her body felt alive in ways she’d never known at the hands of someone else. It had always only been something she’d imagined.

And – ugh, she groaned. That someone else was her best friend’s older sister. It was Taylor, who had traveled all over and had been with tons of women. Who had given her a pity kiss because she was almost twenty-one and had never been kissed by anyone else.

Great. Really. Just wonderful.