A Darker Path Pt 47 (Patreon)

And As An Encore …

[A/N: This chapter beta-read by Lady Columbine of Mystal.]

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♦ Topic: Duck Season is Over

In: Boards ► Brockton Bay ► New Capes ► Atropos

Atropos (Original Poster) (Banned) (You Wish) (UnVerified Cape) (Can Actually Kill Anything) (Yes, Really) (Watch Me) (Verified Dethpicable)

Posted On Feb 24th 2011:

Greetings to the citizens of the best gosh-darned city in these United States of America. I love you all.

I hope you've had a fruitful and fulfilling day over the last twenty-four hours, because I sure have.

Just a few hours ago, it was midday in Canberra, Australia (yeah, I know, time zones are weird). That wasn't exactly anything to be worried about; midday happens there every day, around the same time. (Though I'm going to have to think about getting a summer-weight costume if I ever go back there at this time of year, because let me tell you, wearing all black down there gets kind of warm, kind of fast).

The thing to be worried about was the Simurgh; or, as I call her, the subject of The Great Duck Hunt. Most people who attend a Simurgh attack want to help drive her off before they die (or end up with their brains dribbling out their ears). Me, I was gonna bag myself a big noisy duck.

I'd already mentioned to people that I was going to End the Simurgh with the Power of Friendship, and that's exactly what I did. She came down to where I was, making all kinds of noise and hassle, and she even brought big bro Levi along to lean on us.

So, I made use of the classic Duck Season/Wabbit Season skit with my friend Flechette (I brought her along because she attended the fund-raiser in Brockton Bay a little while ago, and because people look at you oddly if you just try to start that skit up out of the blue) and shot that bitch out of the sky. Then I 'persuaded' her to let go all the Simurgh bombs before I finished her skanky ass off with the other barrel. One Endbringer, along with her legacy, Ended.

If you're wondering what Leviathan was doing at this point, it's simple. Once I had Smurfette down and disabled, I told him to fuck off while he still could. So he did. Won't save his sorry ass now that I've been asked to deal with him and Behemoth too, but at least he gets to enjoy the ocean until I come for him.

Oh, and by the way, kudos to the Aussie hero Pocket Rocket (@PocketRocket) for the nickname 'Bin Chicken of Doom' for the Simurgh. I looked up 'bin chicken' after I got home, and I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. Check it out [here].

So yes, The Power of Friendship is a double-barrel sawn-off shotgun. It's a nasty, vicious weapon, perfect for fucking up the entire existence of a nasty, vicious Endbringer. I'm going to be putting it up for auction (including the expended shells, still in the breech, that Ended the Simurgh once and for all) to the highest bidder. It's been suggested to me that entire *countries* might want to lease it to show off to their populace the weapon that killed an Endbringer. I honestly don't care; whoever wants to throw money at me for it, I'll funnel it toward the Brockton Bay Betterment Committee.

In not entirely unrelated other news, the Committee will be getting a large chunk of change to help them continue their good works. The US government has pledged two billion, plus there's been a few extra donations from other places that she's pissed off. And, if you haven't gotten any tourist-style pics of the Boat Graveyard, you might want to get those now, because (spoilers) it's going away soon.

Also, expect another stimulus payment soon. Infrastructure will be going into high gear, and they're expecting a housing boom because people will be moving into Brockton Bay. I mean, can you blame them?

Just a word to the wise, though. All of you would-be entrepreneurs who've decided to make a quick buck by racing into Brockton Bay, buying up cheap properties and either selling or leasing them at vastly inflated prices ... don't.

First: I know who you are.

Second: Yes, I know it's legal. I don't care.

Third: I don't only fuck up supervillains. They're just usually the ones who piss me off.

Fourth: This *is* a warning.

I am perfectly okay with people moving into Brockton Bay, settling down, getting jobs, raising their kids and living a nice, safe, prosperous life. The thing is, I want *everyone* to prosper, not just a chosen few. A prosperous population is a healthy population. More money moving through the system means better infrastructure, better schools, better public services. Everyone wins. The city wins.

Bottom line: anyone indulging in predatory business practices involving Brockton Bay can expect a visit from me, because I don't tolerate bullshit like that.

Last, and definitely least: Christine, Elijah (you know who you are), you've already been warned. Don't make me come over there.

To everyone else, have a safe and happy day.

Toodles!

(Showing page 1 of 973)

►Bagrat (Veteran Member) (The Guy in the Know)

Replied On Feb 24th 2011:

Uh, haha, wow.

Holy shit. She did it.

She actually went ahead and did it. With the Power of Friendship, even.

Atropos 1, Simurgh 0.

I can't even, guys and girls. I've been following Atropos' career more or less from the beginning, and this one's too big for me.

*pauses to breathe into a paper bag*

I thought Lung was big.

I thought Jack Slash was big.

I thought Butcher was big.

Hell, I thought Bastard Son was big.

But those were just the warm-up acts. That was just her flexing and stretching before she got serious.

Well, thanks to Dragon's multiple camera drones, we've just seen how goddamn serious Atropos can get when she wants to be.

I don't know what's more legitimately terrifying: how she was so sure of herself that she negotiated the bounty *before* the Simurgh showed up, how she knew the Simurgh was due before anyone else and went there first, how she thought so little of the Simurgh that she used an old Warner Brothers cartoon as inspiration for the kill, or how she used a sawn-off shotgun to do it with.

(Though I think the GIF of Flechette shouting "Duck season! Fire!" then Atropos firing, then the Simurgh coming in for a crash landing will *never* get old. I mean, NEVER.)

Also, I've heard a rumor that March, over in New York, got absolutely *pummeled* just hours before Flechette was due to come to BB for that memorable hospital fundraiser, and that the rapier Atropos was using ... was March's. March's theme is 'March hare' so she wears a rabbit-head mask ... so did that tie into Atropos' use of the Duck Season Wabbit Season skit?

I suspect we'll never know. I also suspect I know the answer. Because Atropos is a smartass like that.

As for the rest of it ... well.

To all of you people from out of town who think they might have a chance of coming to Brockton Bay and playing fuck-fuck games (as a PRT trooper friend of mine so colorfully puts it) ... haha, no, don't even try it.

How do I put this?

Atropos is like a vastly more dangerous Santa Claus. If you piss her off, she can step out of the shadows right behind you, no matter where you are. And if you incur a third warning, you'll *be* the piece of coal in the stocking.

Just saying.

PS: I looked up Bin Chickens. Pocket Rocket, you're a braver man than I ever will be.

►Spirit_of_Alaya (Verified Member of Atropos Fan Club)

Replied On Feb 24th 2011:

That was appropriately hilarious and hilariously appropriate.

In other words, exactly what we've come to expect from Atropos.

►BlackQueen99

Replied On Feb 24th 2011:

"Bin chicken of doom" sounds exactly like what a couple of tradies would call the city destroying angel, after a night of drinks at the pub.

Source: am Australian.

PocketRocket - you're a legend, mate!

►Reave (Verified PRT Agent)

Replied On Feb 24th 2011:

I've got nothing to say, except ... well ...

I've been authorized to sit down anywhere at your convenience and discuss how we can work with you.

Damn fine work, there. I would've asked why you didn't pop Leviathan while you had him in your sights, but we both know that running won't save him.

On behalf of everyone you saved today, and everyone your actions have saved or helped in Brockton Bay ... thank you.

►Atropos (Original Poster) (Banned) (You Wish) (UnVerified Cape) (Can Actually Kill Anything) (Yes, Really) (Watch Me) (Verified Dethpicable)

Replied On Feb 24th 2011:

Thanks for the kind words.

Reave - I'll be in touch. You, me and the Director. We're pretty much on the same page now anyway.

►RedSkinnedGentleman

Replied On Feb 24th 2011:

Lots of people are going to be eating crow on PHO, and generally around the world too, who doubted that Atropos could do what she said she was going to do.

I mean, seriously. A shotgun and a Bugs Bunny reference. Talk about an anti-climax.

►Daley

Replied On Feb 24th 2011:

So, who's up for some memes?

Ziz forgot to Duck.

What's Atropos's favorite food? Freshly cooked Duck.

Why do you never play chess with Atropos? [pic of Simurgh's corpse in the chalk outline] This is why.

►PocketRocket (Verified Cape)

Replied On Feb 24th 2011:

Oh, hey. I wondered why my phone was blowing up.

Just gonna say, I did not mean to make that bin chicken comment. I get a bit mouthy when I'm scared shitless.

Atropos - sorry I gave you a hard time when you showed up. You were totally right, all the way down the line. Those bloody pollies should be chipping in for your Betterment Fund. Its a bloody crying shame that theyre not stepping up as well when theyre the ones whose arses were saved.

I need to put the phone away now because Im already full as a boot and the booze doesn't look like it's slowing down any time soon.

►Perpetrator

Replied On Feb 24th 2011:

I heard of this one time a Russian city had such a big party, they ran out of vodka. I suspect this is going to be even bigger, from what Pocket Rocket is saying. And worldwide.

End of Page. 1, 2, 3 ... 971, 972, 973

(Showing page 2 of 973)

►AntAuthor

Replied On Feb 24th 2011:

Oh yeah. This is a big fucking deal. From what I've seen and heard online, the celebrations world wide are gonna be legendary.

►ShyAnimeGirl

Replied On Feb 24th 2011:

*chortles* Simurgh got Looney Tuned. I love it!

►TabulaRasa

Replied On Feb 24th 2011:

Has anyone seen the bodycam footage put up by that Aussie cop? He actually calls her a smartass.

He's never going to pay for another drink in his life, is he?

►TwinSolstice

Replied On Feb 24th 2011:

I wonder how many countries she just earned a Presidential Medal of Freedom and/or Congressional Gold Medal equivalent from? I suspect every nation that has been hit by the Ziz and thus has a Quarantine Zone due to her at a minimum, which will probably expand to every nation to have ever suffered an Enbringer attack once she gets around to ganking the other two...

►MarineLupine

Replied On Feb 24th 2011:

Wait, Bin Chickens are real? What the hell?

►Veges

Replied On Feb 24th 2011:

But who will think of the poor groundskeeper?

I mean, look at the damage to the flagpoles, and the grass!

That's going to take forever to fix!

(/s, if anyone wasn't sure)

►JulietWhiskeyMoFo

Replied On Feb 24th 2011:

There are two constants in life, Death and Atropos. And I'm not sure they aren't the same thing.

►Sakin

Replied On Feb 24th 2011:

New meme:

"The World's Most Famous Lawn Darting"

Also, another Atropos Fact:

"Why did the Bin Chicken of Doom pick Canberra? Because she thought the other side of the bloody planet would be safe from Atropos. It wasn't."

►BlackQueen99

Replied On Feb 24th 2011:

Just gonna say, if they put up a monument where it happened, they're also gonna have to put a sign there saying, "THE SIMURGH IS NOT BURIED HERE. PLEASE DO NOT URINATE ON THE MONUMENT."

Source: am Australian. I know my people.

►687simianreader

Replied On Feb 24th 2011:

Just a few thoughts:

By taking out Ziz the way she did, she didn't just end the legacy; she inherited part of the world wide rep built up around the Endbringers.

A hard fought battle to drive off an Endbringer is something that people can understand. But just making a casual meme skit to kill one, that is a whole other level of flex. She is not just a "very effective killer." Any thought about "I can take her" has got to be gone for any of the non crazy capes. She singlehandedly elevated herself to Endbringer level of respect and fear. And it's an international level of reputation and respect.

She is a force of nature like the Endbringers but she has also proven to be scrupulously fair and honest in her dealing, and importantly, *predictable*. It's much preferable to have a known force that one can work around.

End of Page. 1, 2, 3, 4 ... 971, 972, 973

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PRIVATE MESSAGE

To: GreatAndTerribleAisha

From: Atropos

Subject: Bedtime already

Do I have to ping Brian's phone?

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PRIVATE MESSAGE

To: TheRealPanacea

From: Atropos

Subject: Interested in another side gig?

What it says in the title.

If I brought you some biological material, could you make something out of it for me?

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PRIVATE MESSAGE

To: Atropos

From: GreatAndTerribleAisha

Subject: Re: Bedtime already

But, but, Simurgh dead, everyone celebrating!

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PRIVATE MESSAGE

To: Atropos

From: TheRealPanacea

Subject: Re: Interested in another side gig?

*suspicious glare* what sort of bio-material?

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PRIVATE MESSAGE

To: GreatAndTerribleAisha

From: Atropos

Subject: Re: Re: Bedtime already

Still a school day tomorrow. And you're enough of a gremlin when you're well rested.

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PRIVATE MESSAGE

To: TheRealPanacea

From: Atropos

Subject: Re: Re: Interested in another side gig?

Not a person. A critter. A pest. If I brought you something that needs to be eliminated, could you tailor a virus to attack specific genetic markers?

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PRIVATE MESSAGE

To: Atropos

From: GreatAndTerribleAisha

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Bedtime already

Why can't we have a long weekend? I bet every other school in the state will be closed.

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PRIVATE MESSAGE

To: Atropos

From: TheRealPanacea

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Interested in another side gig?

What if I don't agree that it needs to be eliminated?

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PRIVATE MESSAGE

To: GreatAndTerribleAisha

From: Atropos

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Bedtime already

Just between you and me, they'll be letting everyone out after lunch. But you still have to show up in the morning and pay attention.

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PRIVATE MESSAGE

To: TheRealPanacea

From: Atropos

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Interested in another side gig?

Then you don't do it. I'm certainly not going to force you. That way lies disaster.

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PRIVATE MESSAGE

To: Atropos

From: GreatAndTerribleAisha

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Bedtime already

Ugh, fine. I'll learn stuff. Just for you.

Logging off now.

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PRIVATE MESSAGE

To: Atropos

From: TheRealPanacea

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Interested in another side gig?

*sigh* I'm gonna regret this, aren't I? Okay, fine, bring it around.

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<><>

Taylor

Winslow was buzzing the next morning as Cherie and I climbed the front steps. Even I could feel the emotional currents going through the place, and I didn't have any kind of emotion powers. Cherie stumbled as we came in through the front doors, and leaned against the wall.

"You okay?" I asked. "What happened?"

"Wow, damn," she mumbled. "I think I'm high. I've never had so many happy people this close to me at once. Even on the bus it wasn't this bad. And I think half of them stayed home from school."

I chuckled. "Well, that's a new one on me. Come on, let's go sit down in the library for a bit. Get you used to this much euphoria."

It didn't surprise me that people were still thrilled over the Simurgh's death. She'd been basically asking for it for far too long. From what I understood, the parties were still going on in some parts of Brockton Bay, and pharmacies would've been sold out of headache remedies in short order if they hadn't already ordered in fresh stocks.

Every country on Earth that had been hit by the Simurgh, especially those with large numbers of people affected by her scream, was celebrating. It was a worldwide block party, and it was still ongoing. Only essential workers were being required to come in, and (at least in Brockton Bay) they were being paid overtime wages, as specified by Accord's plan for the city (in the appendix covering 'in the case of Atropos killing an Endbringer'). He really did plan for everything.

Once we got to the library, Cherie started looking a little better, though her eyes were still slightly unfocused. "This is wild," she mumbled. "I mean, I'm not religious, but it's like my personal vision of a thousand angelic choirs all singing in my head at once."

"That might be a little distracting, yeah," I agreed. "Think you can stick it out until lunchtime?" I'd already told her, as I had Aisha, that school would be letting out around then.

"I can do that." She tilted her head and frowned slightly. "That's funny. I just got a distinct down-note from Principal Blackwell. Like she's thrilled and terrified at the same time, and isn't sure which way to jump."

"I'm not surprised." At her querying glance, I grinned. "She got notification this morning that Winslow is about to get a distinct boost in funding. The whole school is getting a top-to-toe renovation, better facilities and equipment, and more teachers. The downside is that her management of the school is going to be thoroughly audited first, going back the full seven years. We're talking fine-tooth comb."

Cherie began to giggle helplessly. "She's never gonna pass that audit, is she?"

I shook my head solemnly. "No. No, she is not." What had started out as a bad day for Blackwell was going to become even worse when she found out that the School Board had already authorised the audit. As a karma-guided cherry on top, she was going to subsequently discover that all the really incriminating electronic records were refusing to allow themselves to be deleted or overwritten.

It was all part of my master plan. If the city were to prosper, every part of it had to be competently managed. Blackwell's management of Winslow had been anything but competent, so she had to go. She could most likely find a job elsewhere; with the amount of money about to end up in the local economy, there would absolutely be jobs available for everyone. Just so long as she didn't end up with the welfare of children in her hands.

Of course, if she really screwed up the audit, there was the possibility of prison in her future, which didn't bother me in the slightest.

Whether it wanted to or not, Winslow was going to become a tolerable school.

<><>

House of Representatives

Capitol Building, Washington DC

Alexandria

Rebecca heard the raised voices from within even before she reached the doors leading into the House chamber. The two guards snapped to attention but did nothing to stop her, mainly because she'd called ahead. Holding the envelope in her left hand, she opened the doors and stepped through, then closed them behind her.

Nobody looked around as the arguing continued. It didn't seem to matter who had the floor; everyone else seemed intent on shouting them down. Rebecca's fingers itched with the urge to bang heads together, but she restrained herself. Instead, moving with all the imperious grace she could muster, she descended the long aisle toward where the Speaker was fruitlessly trying to maintain order in this most august of assemblies.

I should've expected this myself, she mused with an inward sigh. Apportioning two billion dollars out of the blue to one small city in the north-east of the US wouldn't have even made it through committee in less than two weeks, except that Atropos had requested it in return for Ending the Simurgh. Which she'd achieved, surprising the living fuck out of everyone there.

In her current persona of Chief Director Costa-Brown, she had passed on the bounty request and agreement, along with a discreet suggestion that the payment be fast-tracked for obvious reasons. With the actual, confirmed demise of the Simurgh (the remains were currently locked away in a location known to a very few people, of whom she was one) paying the bounty should've been a gimme. It wasn't as though there were any pros or cons to debate.

However, politicians were indeed politicians, and all too many of them—fully aware that this particular bill couldn't not pass—had taken the opportunity to attach as much pork as possible to the bill as they could hang off it. Neither side of the House was entirely blameless in this, and the impasse thus created as both sides railed at each other for what they themselves were trying to do, was threatening to hold the bill in stasis forever. Or at least, long enough for Atropos to get annoyed with them.

The Speaker of the House banged his gavel several times as Rebecca approached the Well of the House; gradually, as more and more members took notice of her, the voices died down. Every eye tracked her as she turned left at the bottom of the Aisle and walked—marched, rather—around to the desk of the Sergeant at Arms. Forewarned of her visit to the House, he rose from his seat and escorted her up the steps to the Speaker's podium.

The Speaker greeted her with a handshake, then spoke into the microphone. "Our very distinguished PRT Chief Director Rebecca Costa-Brown has requested a moment of your attention. She has the floor."

Ignoring the murmuring that emanated from those who had been heatedly arguing with one another just moments before, Rebecca faced front and discreetly cleared her throat. Getting this far had involved calling in a couple of markers, but if it worked, it would be worth it.

"Thank you, Mr Speaker," she began. "Honourable Members of the House." In many cases, the latter just wasn't accurate, but the old saw about honey and vinegar still held true. "I won't take up much of your time. I'm here to pass on a message regarding this deadlock on the wording of the bill before the House at the moment. The message is from Atropos."

As she spoke, more and more murmurs started up and continued until she dropped the name. That was when everyone shut the hell up. Taking the envelope, she lifted the flap and extracted the folded note, ensuring that the microphone picked up the sound of paper rustling on paper. Then she unfolded the note and held it up.

"The message is as follows," she said, and raised her eyes to look out over the House chamber. "Don't make me come over there."

Sliding the note back into the envelope, she nodded politely to the Speaker, then walked back down the steps to the floor. Not a word was spoken, not even a cough sounded through the suddenly silent atmosphere of the House. All she could hear, as she walked back up the Aisle and let herself out through the doors, was the sound of four hundred thirty-five people suddenly reconsidering their current priorities.

I have to hand it to Atropos, she mused as she walked out through the venerable corridors of the Capitol building. The girl does have a way with words.

<><>

Midday

Taylor

"Rest of the day free, woo!" Cherie exulted, holding her arms up in the air and executing a passable pirouette. "So, what are we gonna do now? Go online and see how many different 'the Simurgh, she ded' memes they've got up on PHO by now?"

"More than you would've considered possible," I said with a chuckle. Just like with Riley, I was pleased to see how she was coming out of her shell and expressing herself more and more since the crap had been excised from her life. "I was actually going to have a chat with a frenemy of mine. Did you bring your mask like I said?"

"I totally did." Cherie dived her hand into her pocket and showed me a corner of the pastel pink mask she'd fashioned for herself. "I didn't think you had frenemies. Just friends and dead people."

I rolled my eyes. "I don't murder everyone who disagrees with me. Sometimes I let them just … be themselves. She still thinks like a hero most of the time, which means she tells herself that she's got to oppose me occasionally on principle."

"Huh. Okay." Cherie glanced around. "Did you want to find someplace to suit up?"

I knew there was nobody watching right at the moment. "Go wait at the bus stop. I'll be about ten minutes." As I spoke, I pushed my sleeve up and flicked open the control panel on the teleporter.

"Ten minutes?" Cherie frowned. "Why ten min—"

I didn't have time for this discussion, so I jumped into the girls' bathrooms on the third floor, which I knew to be empty. Taking off my backpack, I stashed it in the ceiling and pulled down the one containing my costume. It took me all of one minute to get changed, and to line the pack with the heavy-duty plastic bag that I'd taken from home.

The pistol was loaded, but I checked chamber anyway before I set up the next teleport. It was somewhat farther than a hundred yards, so I programmed in a series of coordinates and readied myself. Taking a deep breath, I hit the 'go' button, and snapped the panel closed.

The shadowy portal unfolded in front of me, and I stepped through. I was in a narrow alleyway between two buildings, though the walls leaned drunkenly toward each other until they met some little way above my head. Beyond the entrance of the alley, the rustic cobblestoned street meandered artistically from side to side.

The small goblinoid creature that shambled past seemed to be all heavy jaw and snaggled teeth, but there was nothing wrong with his reactions. As I raised the pistol, he spun toward me, eyes widening and mouth opening to let out what I just knew was going to be a deafening screech of warning. I fired first, the bullet punching through the back of his throat and severing his spinal cord just where it met the base of his brain.

Hollywood seemed to think that suppressors entirely silenced pistols, or at least made it barely audible. They did nothing of the sort; however, they did mute the sharpest part of a gunshot, and make it much harder to triangulate. Anyone who was unfamiliar with firearms might be left wondering what the noise was.

I knew the alarm would be raised in short order, so I wasted no time in dragging the little critter into the alley and stuffing him into my pack. The plastic liner stopped his blood and brain matter from getting everywhere, though he was surprisingly heavy when I shrugged the pack onto my back. But I couldn't waste time congratulating myself; I still needed to evade the opposition (while not drawing the attention of the PRT) until the teleporter recharged enough to make a proper jump out of here.

'Here' being Ellisburg, of course. Where the horrific little critter I'd just killed was the least deadly thing I was likely to encounter.

This was gonna be fun. And interesting. But mainly fun.

Part 48