A Darker Path Sidestory: This Actually Happened (Patreon)

<Atropos has entered the chat>
<The_One_Who_Ravages has entered the chat>

The_One_Who_Ravages: This is Atropos, right?
Atropos: No, *this* is Atropos. *You* are Ravager.
The_One_Who_Ravages: That's what I meant! Ugh, forget I said anything.
Atropos: Sure. What's on your mind?
The_One_Who_Ravages: I want someone dead. I hear you're the best.
Atropos: If you want to undersell my capabilities, sure, you can say that.
The_One_Who_Ravages: But you can kill anyone and anything, right?
Atropos: That's what it says on my business cards.
The_One_Who_Ravages: I want Mouse Protector dead.
Atropos: And?
The_One_Who_Ravages: And what?
Atropos: We all want stuff to happen. I want to see Morgan Freeman narrate the Princess Bride. We don't always get what we want.
The_One_Who_Ravages: For fuck's sake, I want you to kill her!
Atropos: Oh. You should've made that clear from the beginning. I thought we were comparing wish lists.
The_One_Who_Ravages: So, will you kill her?
Atropos: Why?
The_One_Who_Ravages: Why what?
Atropos: Why should I kill her? She's not bothering me. Her actions are a net positive.
The_One_Who_Ravages: I will pay you one million dollars to kill Mouse Protector.
Atropos: Hmm. An interesting offer. One second.

<Mouse_Protector has joined the chat>

Atropos: Hey, MP. Ravager here's just offered me a million cool if I murder you. Thoughts?
Mouse_Protector: Well, that's a bit rude. I thought you liked me better than that, Rav.
The_One_Who_Ravages: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Atropos: Encouraging free market trade. MP, got a counter-offer?
The_One_Who_Ravages: This isn't an auction!
Atropos: Is if I say it is.
Mouse_Protector: Uh ... just going to say, I'm not overly comfortable with paying to have someone killed.
Atropos: Oh, I don't have to kill people. I can just as easily end things. Like reputations, someone's good name, their bank account ...
Mouse_Protector: How about her credibility?
Atropos: Oh, I can totally do that.
The_One_Who_Ravages: I'm the one who contacted you! Me! Not Mouse Protector!
Mouse_Protector: Oh, she pinged me three hours ago, hon.
The_One_Who_Ravages: WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?
Atropos: Honestly? You're a blight on society. You're irrational, you hurt people for no reason, and you're a net drain on civilization as a whole. If you came to Brockton Bay, I'd be obliged to shoot you in the face on general principles. While MP here's a net benefit. If she came to BB, I wouldn't care in the slightest, unless of course she tried to arrest me, in which case I'd stand back and watch as the PRT dogpiled her and explained why that's a bad idea. So I'm strongly inclined to give her a steep discount in dealing with you.
Mouse_Protector: So, uh, the other thing. I don't actually have a mil' on me, or anything like it. How much were you actually going to charge me to eradicate Rav's credibility as a villain?
Atropos: Well, the Brockton Bay Children's Hospital oncology unit's having an open day for fundraising next month, and I was wondering if you'd be willing to drop by and put on a show for the kiddies.
Mouse_Protector: A charity show for the little mouseys? That's it?
Atropos: Pretty much, yeah.
Mouse_Protector: Say no more. You had me at 'helping the kids'. And I promise to not try to arrest you.
The_One_Who_Ravages: What the fuck is all this? You're a VILLAIN! Why are you doing this?
Atropos: No. I just kill people. There's a difference. Mice chat, MP.
Mouse_Protector: Wait, did you just-- hahahahaha
The_One_Who_Ravages: I swear, I will get the both of you.
Atropos: You're welcome to try.

<The_One_Who_Ravages has left the chat>

Mouse_Protector: See you next month, Atropos.
Atropos: Toodles.

<Mouse_Protector has left the chat>
<Atropos has left the chat>

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