Your Human and Sleep (Patreon)

Communication #19403526 ALPHA PRIORITY

To ALL sapients employing humans as crew: READ THIS IMMEDIATELY.

To ALL sapients transporting humans as passengers: POST THIS ON ALL PERTINENT INFORMATION BOARDS.

In all cases, ensure that your crew is familiar with the contents of this communication. THIS IS IMPERATIVE.

Part 1: Humans and 'sleep'

Members of the sapient species self-identified as 'human' have a requirement to spend a certain amount of time in an unconscious, semi-vegetative state. This is similar to the biannual hibernation of the H'Groth, except that it takes place on a daily basis, taking up a significant fraction of any single day/night cycle.

THIS IS NOT NEGOTIABLE.

Suggestions that humans 'just think' they need to sleep and if they 'really tried' they could get over it have been met (by humans) with every response from wordless incredulity through manic laughter (research 'laughter' if you are unfamiliar with the concept) all the way to actual physical violence. Note that the latter invariably took place as a result of their 'sleep' being deliberately disturbed.

DO NOT DISTURB A HUMAN WHO IS ASLEEP EXCEPT UNDER THE MOST DIRE OF CIRCUMSTANCES.

If it is not under the most dire of circumstances, then once the human becomes aware of the situation, it will become a dire circumstance.

Just don't do it.

Part 2. Duration of sleep period

Roughly one-third of any given day/night cycle will be taken up with 'sleep'. If the human is well-rested and has a comfortable place to lie down, they may be able to get by with less, but don't count on it. In addition, humans are able to go without 'sleep' if they choose to, in order to complete a required task, but the longer they maintain the sleepless state, their brains become more and more disarranged. Stimulants may maintain them for a brief amount of time, but do not be deceived. They will still need sleep. See below about 'coffee'.

A human who has overrun their normal sleep period will require more sleep before they are fit for duty (or even contact with other sapients). Just let them sleep. Your crew will be happier for it.

Part 3. The Importance of Coffee

Coffee is a uniquely human beverage. Humans consume it both to stay awake longer in order to complete important tasks, and to give themselves a 'wake-up' when they first arise from sleep. The active ingredient is caffeine, so DO NOT TRY DRINKING IT. Where members of the Zanda cult touch tiny amounts of the powder to their tongues to bring on their hallucinogenic trances, humans drink it BY THE LITRE.

If a human is working and claims to need more coffee, ensure that they have more coffee.

Do not get between a human and their coffee. Just ... don't.

Note that coffee is not a substitute for sleep. The effect runs out (eventually) and the human will require sleep.

Eventually.

Part Four: Effects of Lack of Sleep

If a human is prevented from sleeping, the first effects are 'drowsiness'. Their eyes will tend to close, they will sit or lie down wherever they can, and they will become unresponsive. If left unattended, they will slip into sleep mode.

If prevented from doing this, they will become either disoriented or aggressive, or both. It has been said that a human without proper sleep is akin to 'a bear with a sore head'. This is not inaccurate (look up 'bears'). Humans have been known to lock themselves into compartments and even swear at superior officers if they are denied their daily ration of sleep.

It's best to let them get to it.

Part Five: Conclusion

Look, not everyone knows much about humans. They are, frankly, a weird species. However, they're also a good species to have on your side when pirates come calling. I managed to frighten off one ship, simply by putting my chief engineer on screen. When they realised there was a human on board (I may have suggested he was my head of security), you have never seen a bunch of sapients crap themselves so fast.

So it's a really good idea to keep them happy. If they say they need to get some sleep, let them. A resting-bunk is ideal for the purpose. A lack of noise and light is also useful.

Also, get a 'coffee machine'. Trust me, your human will thank you.

COMMUNICATION ENDS