26. Pill Bonanza (Patreon)

When Dorian arrived, he was greeted by an island of calm amid Hu’s usual dumpster of a shop. At the back left corner, past rows of shelves stocked full of potions, pills, and random trinkets, was a lab workstation: a polished cauldron, a table, ladles, prepped ingredients, and books, all arrayed in a neat little pile.

“‘Lo!” said Hu, beckoning him over with a wide smile. “I’ve been waiting for you. Impatiently, might I add,” he chortled. Then he gestured to the workspace. “Well? Have at it! Go wild!”

Dorian walked over, amused. “Is that all, sir?”

Hu nodded as he waddled over and picked a thin stick of chalk off the desk. “Record any of your funky little edits to my recipes, will you?” Hu gave him a wink and a pat. “I’d like to join in on the fun, too. But for now…”

He swept his arm out grandly. “You have free reign! Last time I gave you no guidance. It turned out grand, didn’t it? You got the Elixir first try, you clever bird! Perhaps a hands-off approach is in order, eh?”

Shuffling over, he tapped a scrap of paper nailed to the table. On it were a list of elixirs written out in careful script. Script Dorian very much doubted was Hu’s.

“This is a list of all the elixirs I need to deliver to the Chief by the end of the week,” intoned Hu. He winked. “At first I didn’t trust your grubby little hands on any of my harder brews. This stuff goes out to the higher-ups! But after last week…” He rubbed his chin, smiling. “I mighta underestimated your knack for this kinda thing. Why don’t you give ‘em a crack?”

Dorian paled. “Sir, I only managed the Elixir of Minor Healing ‘cause it was simple! I don’t think I can handle these…”

Don’t make me devote my precious time to handling your chores…

“You sell yourself too short!” crowed Hu. He licked his lips. “That’s it. On top of your brewing, I want you to wipe out a third of this list by week’s end.” He gave Dorian two more meaty slaps on the back. Just two days ago they would’ve sent him careening face-first into the sand.

“Well. Hop to it! Chop-chop!”

He gyrated around, stumbled to a fluffed-up seat, sank his coconut body into it, snatched up a bowl of green noodles, and took to it with a turtle’s pace. His eyes lingered on Dorian, though; Hu watched him like a poacher that’d stumbled upon a new, flamboyant species. Hu threw him a cheerful thumbs-up.

Hells. As Dorian turned to face his tools, he chewed on his lip, and glanced down the list. A headache was already threatening on the horizon. Leave it to Hu to offload his work to a second-day newbie! Brewing this would suck up a good chunk of his total brewing time.

On the one hand, he could blow up a few cauldrons, fake incompetence, and be let off the hook for everything except the already-lucrative Elixirs of Minor Healing.

On the other hand, the amount of money he’d gain with full freedom to brew was astronomical. And that was just the amount he planned to embezzle off Hu.

That, I can’t give up. He let out a small, exasperated huff. Fine. I’ll get to the grunt work later. For now…

Rolling his eyes, he flipped open a few recipe books and scanned through. He scoured for anything of note. Now that he had full access—at least, full access to the stuff he’d been given here; he was sure Hu kept the really valuable ingredients in some chest hidden out-of-sight—he had a much wider toolbox to work with. All he had to do was wield it right.

“Say, Master,” said Dorian, feigning absentmindedness. “Who in the Tribe is richest? It’s the hunters and the Elders, right?”

“Hmm?” Hu looked up from his soup. “Oh! Yes indeed.”

“Last time, three-quarters of my sales came from them,” said Dorian. “There’s more civilians to squeeze, yea, but maybe it’s better to focus on bait for the big fish...” He hummed, scratching his head.

“Delicious thinking!” Hu sat up. He opened his mouth, eyes vibrant, then closed it a half-second later and put a finger to his lips. “Hmm… bah!” He waved a careless hand. “I’m not supposed to tell you this, but soon it won’t be just our Elders you can pitch to…”

“Huh?”

Hu shifted guiltily, looking around to make sure they were alone. “Well, alright. Don’t blab of this to anyone! But our biannual migration starts soon…”

“Oh?”

“In two weeks, we’re off to a conference of the Western Tribes,” said Hu in a hushed tone. “If you—we—set up shop there with a host of newfangled brews….”

He shivered with eagerness. “If you set up shop there, well! We’ll be rolling in Lira, boy. Rolling!”

Dorian blinked. “Really.”

“Far more than this backwater tribe can muster…” Hu hesitated. Then he wagged a finger at Dorian. “Trust me, boy—I know these things. Don’t be fooled by my humble stature now! Years ago I was an esteemed alchemist of the Zolan Oasis, I’ll have you know!”

“Then… how’d you end up here?”

“Nevermind that,” said Hu, blushing. He shook a hand. “Back to work!” He suddenly found his bowl of soup very interesting.

Shrugging, Dorian went back to the tomes. He’d already picked out a few pills and elixirs from his cursory scan; none to do with healing, all to do with advancement. The Three Suns elixir purported to ease the bottleneck to the Vigor Realm; the Cleansing Spirit pill was an elixir which drew out and expelled the body’s impurities. A few more choice picks would complete this batch nicely. He picked out two qi-boosting pills—pills in the same vein as the Silver Heart pills, though made with more common ingredients and possessed of significantly less potency.

His gripes with Hu’s setup aside—he squinted at the man, who’d moved onto throwing his legs onto a nearby desk and reading a novel—at least his negligence and laziness meant Dorian now had an embarrassment of choices. As Dorian went through the recipes, he had two criteria. First, he selected for the lucrative ones. Second, he went for things that could help him; it ended up being a small slew of qi-boosting and talent-upgrading pills, with some body cleansing, Spirit-strengthening, and antidotes mixed in. Elixirs made up only two of the ten he’d picked out; after all—to chug an elixir discreetly was tough.

To sneak in a pill while Hu was buried deep in a book, with his own belly obstructing his line of sight? A lot easier.

As Dorian took stock of the chest of ingredients he’d been given, he smiled. Sure, there wasn’t any of the weapons-grade stuff here; there was a limit to his so-called free reign, it seemed, but this collection of herbs and Spirit Beast parts would more than suffice.

Rubbing his hands, he got to work.

***

He spent the first hour sorting out recipe inefficiencies and correcting for potency.   Thirty minutes later, he finished his first small batch of qi-boosting pills, swallowed two, started cycling, and kept brewing. Hu, meanwhile, was so engrossed in his novel he probably wouldn’t have noticed an earthquake.

Two hours later, with sweat beading his brow, Dorian finished up two Three Suns elixirs—at his stage, these were a bastard to brew—and was another notch up his way to Origin Level 4. He wiped away his sweat. A pity these would be a lot harder to embezzle right away; after all, loading it onto a flask and then drinking it was a lot less subtle…

The he turned around to find Hu sound asleep. For a second he was speechless.

A minute later, he’d chugged down a full flask of the elixir, his eyes on Hu the whole time. Hu, meanwhile, didn’t stirred a whit.

…This day was too easy, wasn’t it?

Grinning, he went after the next few brews.

He brewed, and brewed, and brewed; he was so deeply engrossed in it he lost track of time. Soon sweat beaded not only his brow, but the whole of him, drenching him through all his garments.

As he popped another pill absently, he was tingling all over. This was the motherlode. Alchemy was not only a transmutation of raw ingredients, it was also the transmutation of a shitty life to a bearable one—and soon, he planned, even better.

If cultivation was a journey on a long, unpaved, craggy, twisting road, he’d just swapped out his old mule ride for a purebred stallion.

Finally he finished another few hours later; likely it was night. He squinted out the door-flaps, where the purple haze of twilight drifted lazily through the opening. Likely it was quite late. Hu had woken up from his nap a half-hour ago and was now half-way through his novel. The scene seemed quite emotional; he was wiping away tears, sniffling.

“Master?” called Dorian as he walked over. He was full to the brim with qi—on the verge of a breakthrough, now, but he didn’t dare attempt it here. He’d stuffed his leggings with a selection of the day’s pills. He’d taken just enough to avoid suspicion.

“Gra-Whuh!” was the sound that Hu made as he sat up in an instant, a bit of drool still leaking from his lips. He blinked the redness and wetness from his eyes, then looked at Dorian and his nicely framed batches of pills, all prepped and at the ready on the table. For a second he seemed like he’d forgotten where he was.

Then—“Ah, right, right, brewing, apprentice, yes…” Still mumbling, he propped himself up and waddled over. His eyes widened as he took in the sight of Dorian’s work. “Huh?”

“I burned a few,” said Dorian sheepishly, pointing to a small hill of ashen pills. “But I did my best on the list!”

That is, I did about a twentieth of it. Can’t appear too useful, after all—just enough to keep your trust.

Maybe it was the novel getting him all emotional—that was probably it—but now Hu seemed near tears. As he flitted from the list, to the pills, to Dorian, he seemed almost like he was about to give Dorian a big ol’ hug. Dorian hastily edged a few feet away, just in case.

“Ah…” hiccuped Hu, sniffling. “Why haven’t I gotten an apprentice before? This…”

He wiped at his nose. “You really brewed them… Saints! Well done, well done!”

“Just the easiest ones,” mumbled Dorian. Crap. Did I overshoot again?

Hu was still inspecting the pills and him, disbelieving. “I’ve spent half the day drinking soup and reading,” he said, “and I still got new pills. And I didn’t need to pay a Lira. It’s… it’s remarkable!”

“Err, I’d take some Lira,” said Dorian weakly.

“Bah, don’t be silly!” said Hu with a knowing head-pat. “Dear boy, I’ve paid you in experience.”

…and dozens of Lira worth of embezzled ingredients. Dorian threw up an appreciative smile. But inside, his smile took on a more sinister tone. I suppose there is an upside. The more work he heaps on me, the more ingredients I’ll use, the more pills can go mysteriously missing.

“I’ll bring you up at tomorrow’s Elders meeting,” said Hu happily. “That’ll get us started on selling this new-and-improved batch, eh? Ah, I can hardly wait..."

He hopped in and Dorian realized, belatedly, that he’d misjudged the distance. He could do nothing but wince and wheeze as Hu wrapped him in a big one-armed-hug. “With you by my side, no purse-string will be safe!” He declared, salivating. “We’ll be rich, boy! Filthy, stinking rich!”

A/N: Time skip, coming soon…