Chapter: 455 - Not Ever Again (Patreon)

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Tala was a bit in awe of how much she was able to witness of Terry's re-experiencing of his own life.

She was seeing a bit more now that he was reliving the time with her, but that made sense to her, because she already had a basis of understanding into which she could slot the bits she was seeing.

There wasn’t much to see from when she’d first gone to the endingberry groves near Alefast, but once she left the city again, things started to get interesting.

Terry had been a bit irritated at first when another, much bigger human began spending more time near his little human, and that made things harder, but Terry was able to figure out how to stay close regardless.

Strangely, the big human seemed to exasperate the young female in ways that Terry found quite amusing. He also brought out different sides of the girl, so Terry did what he could to keep him around.

I don’t remember Terry doing anything to keep Rane around… did I just miss it?

Then, the girl had gotten herself snatched by the massive flying birds.

Terry had almost called the whole thing off then, but he had been coming to like the bits of jerky she gave him.

And he was already rather invested in her, so…

He’d gone after her, and it had turned out well that he had.

She’d killed most of that hostile flock on her own, showing him a whole other side to her. She had demonstrated the potential for quite a bit of lethality when pressed. She’d been hurt doing it, but that just stood to reason. She was basically a hatchling after all.

Well, I guess that was fair…

There, on the frozen mountain side, Terry and the young woman had encountered a Mage who could restrain him, actually restrain him.

Even in just the small flashes of the reliving, Tala was able to see just how much that had rattled Terry’s understanding of existence and his place in it.

He’d known that some humans were more powerful than him—and that he had needed to be careful to avoid their attention—but he had never encountered one who could directly beat him at his own game, let alone directly counter his dimensional magics so effectively.

His eyes had been opened to just how utterly futile his own crusade against humanity had been.

He’d known for a long time that not every human was the same—that they made choices and acted as they wished rather than strictly as a collective. At a basic level, he knew that he shouldn’t have blamed them all—that had been part of why he had not continued to attack humans as persistently, after his rage had begun to dull—but it wasn’t until this looking back that he finally saw just how true that was. 

The encounter with Mistress had solidified that there could actually be things to learn from humans as well.

He had needed to change his mindset, and the resilient human female seemed willing to bring him along, to feed him, and spend time near him. That was worth a lot.

The very next day, that new-found desire for human connection was tested when a flock of terror birds came to eat the human. That had put him into the position of choosing a human life over a flock of terror birds.

Sure, they hadn’t been his flock, but it put the humans’ actions against his own mate into an entirely different perspective, at least when looking back.

In the moment though, Terry had simply seen Tala as a burgeoning member of his flock, and that was all that had mattered.

His flock’s safety was paramount, and he would not let anything attack them with impunity ever again.

Terry’s choice had resulted in her survival and their return to a human city. This time, however, he was able to enter safely. That had only been possible because of the collar they’d gotten for him from the strangely obsessive human. Thankfully, he hadn’t been too much of an issue.

Once again, Terry found himself embarrassed, and Tala was truly startled.

In that first venture into Bandfast, Terry had stolen a lot of food, flickering out and back when she had been distracted, making sure to return in the exact orientation he’d been in previously.

Tala had had no idea at all.

In truth, Terry hadn’t taken much from any one place. Because of that, really no one had noticed, but some had briefly suspected that something had reduced the food on their plate, in their stand, or wherever Terry had taken his bits from.

Still, it had never caused trouble, despite Terry now realizing just how much of that was purely happenstance, likely influenced by his need. He did, after all, restrain himself when his need indicated that he should.

They had stayed in the city longer than he’d have preferred, but his human had grown much stronger while there.

She’d gone into a chamber without him, leaving him to wait outside, but shortly after, she’d called him with a true franticness to her voice.

Something within her tone had reminded him of the desperation he’d imagined in his mate’s cries oh so long before.

He had flickered in without hesitation, his power on full display.

When he’d arrived and seen their opponents—the sheer number and power of the Mages—he’d understood.

This was his chance at redemption.

He hadn’t been there for her. He hadn’t died by her side, and this was his chance to do as had been his duty.

He would finally die fighting beside his flock.

He would finally be able to lay this burden down.

He would finally know peace.

Oh, Terry… Tala squeezed him tightly once again within the Bonding Void.

In retrospect, Terry understood that other things had been going on, but in the moment, he’d been utterly baffled when no fight had occurred.

He’d remained with his new, fledgling flock-mate watching in fascinated confusion as she cut herself open and pulled a magical working into her own chest.

That was when her power had first magnified many-fold.

Terry was proud of her for seizing such power, both then and now.

He was also proud of himself for having now—finally—consumed a similar working.

Tala detected a deep interest within Terry to see just how much he would grow from the working.

She felt her manifestation’s eyes widen as she also contemplated that. She could finally fully understand the danger posed by bonding such an ancient arcanous creature. With this reframing of his experiences, it would be incredibly easy for one like Terry to wreak untold havoc with his newfound power.

Tala was very grateful for this look into Terry’s mentality, reassuring her that that wouldn’t happen.

Though… she was a bit concerned about one thing. After all, she had recognized the magical signature of the light magic that had killed Terry’s mate, even from the brief feel she’d gotten from it in the re-living.

Speaking of Master Xeel, Terry’s memory of the Light Mage’s arrival at their caravan came into stark contrast among the roiling sea of experiences, surfacing among the continued flow of time.

Terry had recognized the man’s magic immediately. He’d wanted nothing more than to throw himself against the human, to die taking his vengeance, but it would have been useless to the point of senselessness. Even the Terry of that time had understood that.

Standing with Tala, Terry had realized something else as well. If this Light Mage had been there in the beginning of the battle, there would have been no fight at all.

It would have been a simple execution.

He must have been called in to deal with Terry’s mate when she simply wouldn’t go down.

He felt a mix of pride and renewed rage at that. She had been so fierce that they required this human monster to bring her down, but this monster had put her down.

The man had seemed to recognize Terry’s magics as well, at least to some extent, but he hadn’t struck Terry down because of his relation to Tala.

In the reliving, Terry didn’t know how to reconcile his feelings about the Light Mage—Xeel.

Looking back, Terry still felt anger. He knew that Xeel had helped Tala—Terry’s potential new flock-mate—immensely at many points, but he didn’t think he could forgive the death of his own mate.

Only time would tell.

In that moment, however, Terry had simply been held back by the knowledge that he would accomplish nothing good by attacking and would likely lose much.

Tala felt like this conflict between Terry and Master Xeel would need to be addressed at some point, and soon.

As time moved on, Terry knew that he still had much to learn and so much to figure out. The only way to understand was to study her, and so he did.

But soon enough, he was simply continuing at her side because he had been there, and it felt right.

That is, it felt right until his need all but compelled him away once again.

They had been together for months, but that night, he had known one thing with utter clarity: he couldn’t be around her.

He had been confused, but he had listened. Only after he returned to find her missing did he remember that the last time that he’d had such a powerful need was the time when she had died.

Now, Tala was gone too…

He still didn’t understand her. She couldn’t be gone. This was her all over again. He had lost his flock, again.

That had almost broken him fully.

That had almost sent him into a new spiral of raging destruction.

But something had struck him about the situation.

Something was different.

He didn’t feel the same emptiness that he had when she had died. Because of that, he had dared to hope that Tala might still be alive.

More than that, his need was prompting him to leave the human lands, to head south.

The Wilds passed, as did the Leshkin forest, then more plains through which walked mobile human dwellings, and finally he’d come to an unmoving city filled with magic.

It was a place built upon the death and imprisonment of humanity, but instead of feeling glee at finding such, he found himself furious.

His time with Tala had fundamentally changed his viewpoint. He’d met many humans, and they were not all like those who had broken his flock.

After all, Tala was a human, and she was his.

They couldn’t do this to her.

Tala didn’t know how long Terry took to get to Platoiri, nor how long he had wandered the city before she came back to herself. He seemed to have even seen her once or twice—or at least a human who looked like her—but she hadn’t felt right, and his need had indicated that approaching her would be dangerous.

He now knew that it had been her, but when Tali had been in full command. His need had been right to keep her away.

When she had come back, when she had gone to the park to find him, he had come to her, his need drawing him to her side once more.

It was then that he had left behind his final doubts, it was then that he’d fully admitted to himself that he’d decided long before. In the moment, it had been clear, and looking back it was even more obvious.

Somewhere along the way, Tala had irrevocably become his flock. It was nowhere near the same way that she had been—nor as his hatchlings should have been—but it was undeniable.

Tala was his flock in every way that mattered, his adoptive hatchling.

Tala purposely didn’t look in on her own time with the arcanes. She had no desire to relive any part of that from Terry’s perspective.

Even so, she just couldn’t pass up seeing just what exactly had happened with the bull-man arcane, when she’d locked him in her sanctum with Terry.

…She really shouldn’t have looked.

So… he kept some of his savagery for all that time.

Terry’s amusement and regret at losing such an amazing play-thing caused Tala to swallow reflexively, even just as a manifestation in the Bonding Void.

Yeah, let’s not forget that Terry is a predator at his core.

That made seeing Terry interacting with her siblings… a bit terrifying, but his gentleness once again reminded her of the duality of Terry’s existence.

He was a consummate predator, and yet, he still maintained the capacity to be utterly gentle when he wished.

She also felt warmed by the avian’s feelings for her siblings, even if it was mainly an instinctive reaction to them being children.

Looking back, Tala realized that Terry had specifically avoided caravans where he saw any evidence of children, something deep within him rebelling against the idea of killing even human children—even when he’d hated humans so much.

Time flickered by as Terry stayed by Tala’s side, until the disjointment of his own actions began to catch up with him.

He was treating her as his flock, but she wasn’t actually.

He was reacting to her as if she were under his wing, without actually solidifying that connection.

He was holding her at a flicker’s distance.

And so, he gave himself an ultimatum. He would fight her and test her.

After that, they would either part ways or be a true flock. One way or another, he had felt ready for their last match as traveling companions.

In looking back, it was such a foolish thought to have passed through his avian head. He had long since stopped treating her in that way, and they both knew it.

Tala felt a smile pull at her lips at Terry’s realization.

The next fragment to come to her attention was the upland tiger.

It had been a feline of monstrous proportions, a Magical Beast that had utterly outclassed Tala—Terry even more so—but when she’d called for Terry’s aid, he’d come.

His need had immediately begun to scream at him to retreat, but he had ignored it, helping her as he could.

At the time, he’d been willing to die with her, even if he didn’t understand why they were fighting the big cat. It hadn’t made sense to him at all, but she’d asked for his help, so…

Still, he’d done his best to get her to leave, and to his utter shock, she had listened.

The memory of that seemed to warm Terry to his core.

Tala had listened to his promptings, and fled from the fight—the pointless fight… his hatchling really had a lot to learn about picking her opponents.

That was fine, he could help her.

After that, she had surrounded herself with other powerful humans, and Terry had felt a bit unneeded for a time, though he had still enjoyed being with her when he could. He still enjoyed watching her continue to grow in strength and wisdom.

Then, finally, a predator of equal ferocity and cunning to himself had challenged his hatchling.

They’d tried to keep him from the battle, but he’d put that to rest.

He and she had clashed against the canine, and Terry had once more found himself outclassed.

The sireling could have slain him in their first exchange, but Terry had felt respect from the young pup. They’d both known who was the better combatant, and the pup had held nothing but honor in his heart for Terry’s willingness to fight anyway.

Tala… had not known that. She’d thought that Terry and the sireling were roughly matched, and in comparison to many other creatures, they were, but the sireling had just been too advanced for Terry to overcome.

Terry had been more skilled, but skill only counted for so much when he couldn’t have landed a damaging blow even if the sireling had stood still and let him attack, uncontested.

When she’d tossed Flow to Terry, that had changed, but it had also meant the end of the fight for Terry.

Terry had felt deep self-recrimination when he’d had to retreat. He’d hated watching Tala fight alone, but he had been immensely proud when she’d pulled out a victory, quite literally from the jaws of defeat.

After the fight, Terry watched as Tala and Rane decided to begin courting, and Tala felt a bit embarrassed, seeing how it had looked from the outside.

Terry had been happy for them, even if he didn’t understand human mating rituals.

Seeing Terry classify their interactions in that way caused Tala’s embarrassment to magnify, but she couldn’t truthfully say he was wrong.

That made it worse.

They both witnessed Terry decide that he should accept Tala’s offer for a Bond… soon.

He told himself that she wasn’t ready, and looking back, he understood that even then, he hadn’t known which she he’d meant.

Tala had continued to grow, and together, Tala and Terry had moved ever closer to this moment.

Finally, they’d gone to his old nest, and the humans had acted with compassion and honor, helping him to lay his fallen flock to rest.

He hadn’t needed such—that was a human custom—but it still showed that these two saw him as one of them, and they saw those he cared for as worthy of their own caring.

It had been time. He had delayed long enough.

She was laid to rest, and she would have wanted him to move on.

As if Reality itself had known that he’d come to that decision, terror birds had come, responding to his farewell cry, his final send-off for his mate.

He’d initially prepared himself for a massive clash—fighting beside his human companions—but they hadn’t come for that.

Their alpha had come for him. She had recognized him as worthy of her, where none other ever had been.

The foolish bird.

He had proven to her that such wasn’t what mattered. It hadn’t been the right question to begin with.

She wasn’t worthy of him.

Still… he’d been tempted. She was by far the most capable terror bird he’d come across in his long life since her passing.

He’d been away from his own kind for so long…

But even so, in the end, his choice had been relatively easy.

He would not abandon his flock.

Not ever again.

He was here.

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