Laughter is the Best Medicine - The Apartment (Patreon)

A rich business man propositioned a beautiful girl to spend the night with him. She agreed to do so for $500...

When he was ready to leave in the morning, he told her that he didn't have any money with him but that he would have his secretary write a check for it and make it out as "rent
for an apartment." 

On the way to the office, he decided that the whole thing wasn't worth the price he had agreed to pay. So he advised his secretary to send the check for $250 and include the following note:

Dear madam:
Enclosed is my check in the amount of $250 for rent of your
apartment. I am not sending the amount I agreed upon, because when I rented the apartment, I was under the impression:
1. That it had never been occupied.
2. That there was plenty of heat.
3. That it was small.
Last night, I found that it had been occupied, there wasn't any heat and
it was entirely too large.

Upon the receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the check with
the following note:

Dear sir:

I am returning your check for $250. I can not understand how you could expect such a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied. As for the heat, there was plenty of it, if you knew how to turn it on. As for the size, it isn't my fault if you didn't have sufficient furniture
to fill it. 

~End