[MA] 258. Identity & Axis (Patreon)

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Shen was in the perfect environment to break through right now, but more than anything, it was a matter of identity.

Cultivators meditated for more reasons than just accumulating energy. It was also an opportunity to reflect on their experiences, techniques, and failings. A chance to temper their expectations and consider their future.

Shen had strayed from cultivation sessions because there was always something urgent to be done, but it was past time he recalled he was a cultivator. Cultivation was supposed to be done in a specific way, and he'd better not roam too far from it. He had almost lost himself in thinking he should become a Spear once already.

There was too much external influence on his Path. Cultivators were supposed to find enlightenment in the world outside and within themselves, but the scales were heavier on one side. His Path was much more Concepts than Shen at times.

Shen wasn't a mindless weapon but often behaved as one.

His training under Liya had focused on his humanity and assisted him a lot with that, but he wasn't only human. He was soul and biological matter in human form, yes, which was in the Expression of Energy. But he was also Change and Sentience. He was changing at this exact moment, which left his sense of self for him to work on. It was as crucial as his biological and spiritual existence.

His previous disregard of that was the source of what was becoming a colossal ordeal: Shen's Path's width and axis weren't what he wanted them to be.

A Path was meant to take someone somewhere. It shouldn't be too wide or too narrow. It had to be just wide enough to hold the one treading it and very few things they valued.

Usually, it was depicted as a road or corridor.

Make it too wide, and it turned into a long room. Rooms accommodate many more items than a corridor. At the extreme, a wide Path might become a vast palace with all sorts of things that would distract the Path walker. Moreover, the more things one carries with them, the heavier the burden would become and the less likely to reach far.

Shen's issue was the opposite; his Path was too narrow.

If a Path was too thin, it became a blinker. It restricted one's vision of the surroundings, as blinkers did to a horse. It had value but made one incapable of focusing on anything else but the way forward.

At the extreme, a narrow Path became a tightrope to walk on. One had to give his all to remain on it, or they might lose balance and fall. There was no space for anything but staying on track and moving on. Standing on the Path became a goal in itself, which could lead nowhere.

Shen also wasn't quite there, but he felt incredibly limited.

That was most noticeable in his interpersonal relationships. War and Combat could only help him so much in such situations. The softness of Zephyr didn't hold much sway there.

The more Shen became his Path, the worse it would become—and he was physically becoming his Path. It wouldn't stop him from learning how to socialize, but it might make it much harder.

The next cultivation realm was called Ethereal Harmonization. Harmonizing with the ethereal sounded nice, but it didn't necessarily mean both parts would hold equal sway over the whole. A chef might throw a few drops of lemon on a big piece of steak and call it harmonized.

Shen feared he might cripple himself if he didn't change some things, and he was done with being a cripple.

After a cultivator cemented their Path, like Shen had already done, it couldn't be fundamentally changed. It only shifted directions, broadened, or narrowed as time passed. It reacted to his experiences, shifts of perspective, and even his understanding of his Concepts and Laws.

But that wouldn't be enough for Shen, whose Path was unbalanced. It was tilted.

The fundamental cause was his identity crisis in the previous breakthroughs.

While a cultivator was breaking through to the next realm, their Path became temporarily malleable. It was part of the process, or else the Path couldn't evolve. For instance, Shen could touch on Laws before a breakthrough, but it would immediately start the breakthrough itself. His Path wouldn't withstand Laws otherwise.

Becoming malleable didn't mean being easily changeable. Not in essence.  It was still impossible to add anything that the Path wasn't prepared for, like a new Concept or a Law unrelated to its Concepts. However, it could be more easily broadened or narrowed all at once, and the cultivator could steer it slightly better than at any other time. Or tilt it. It was like a human child growing up. They wouldn't become stone as they grew up, but teenage hormones would change their body, brain functions, and perspective.

It was more subtle than directly taking control, of course. His Path became easier to affect during a breakthrough, and Shen was his Path. Affecting either his Path or him at that point in time, even just slightly, caused the other to also change. It created an endless feedback loop that only ended when it reached the limits of how much the Path could change without breaking. Therefore, what was happening in the meanwhile was of crucial importance.

During his cultivation journey, Shen became an Initiate, Cleansed his Meridians, and Established his Foundation in joy at finally being able to cultivate. That had been back in the cave he woke up. He had been focused on overcoming his physical weaknesses and becoming a mighty warrior. Likewise, he had stepped into the Core Formation realm seeking power to kill a middle boss in the tutorial. And he had broke through to the Fate Origin realm while fighting werewolves.

That last one was one of the most significant issues. He had hastened his cultivation and touched his first Concept before finishing the Core Formation realm. He had progressed out of desperation, seeking power regardless of the cost.

Henceforth, every single Concept he pulled into his Path had been found in battle. There was too much combat in his Path. It was becoming strife and nothing else.

Shen wanted more. He needed more. He was more.

He wanted his Path to accommodate more than his Concepts, honor, and some core beliefs. He wanted to leave space for questioning himself, networking, friendship, and relationships. He wanted those things to be part of him, not convenient afterthoughts. Even the way he had approached his almost-relationship with Liya lacked drive, partly because he had never considered relationships while forming his Path.

That wasn't to say he would hang his spear and retire as a warrior. Not even close. He was a warrior at the core, and it wouldn't change. It was only that a warrior wasn't always killing enemies. Warriors had homes, families, and friends. They had fun sometimes. When had been the last time that Shen took a break?

The Alliance was in a constant existential war against the Void, but stress piled even on Ethereal Harmonization cultivators. Even they required rest. Even his father sought sleep now and then.

Speaking of rest, cultivator culture said nothing about not feeling any emotion, only about not revealing one's feelings in public. Shen wanted to leave space for his emotions, too. Enough for them to grow or shrink however they wanted. Keeping them at bay all the time couldn't be healthy; he was denying part of himself.

In fact, didn't domains use emotions? And wasn't the next cultivation realm called Ethereal Harmonization? Emotions certainly felt ethereal enough to Shen.

Liya had said he would only need to get in touch with his feelings at B-rank, but he was a cultivator, not a Guardian. He was drow but also human.

He was Shen.

All that together was why it was crucial to start his breakthrough right now. He was undergoing something uniquely special. He was literally being remade anew by a qi particle after meditating on his Image for a long time. It screamed "cultivator"—with everything it entailed.

Shen had also just made a new discovery about phase space. It spoke of discovering things in the future. Or a sense of adventure that he enjoyed.

He also enjoyed overcoming challenges. What could be more challenging than touching a Law in a way he had never touched a Concept? And then, should he succeed, testing his grit against a Heavenly Tribulation?

The emotional factor was also important. He felt at peace after the turmoil of his almost-relationship with Liya. His self-esteem would certainly improve by breaking through now, outside battle. It would help a lot with self-acceptance, too; not because of her but of his comfort with himself.

There was no immediate obstacle to overcome, enemy to kill, or crisis to distract him and contaminate his sense of self with unwanted thoughts. Shen was centered.

Then came his honor. He didn't want anyone to think ill of Liya for being in a closed room with him. That might be used as "evidence" of her wrongdoings in the future. Breaking through and the ensuing tribulation would be the ultimate proof that they had been focusing on practical matters.

Finally, he was thinking about all of this through the pain caused by his cultivation. That gave the moment an extra, heavier meaning.

Such considerations wouldn't cause his fighting power to decrease. He still sought greater power—and more. He was increasing his reach, biting on more than he had before. If anything, he was demanding his Path to give him power in other areas on top of what it already gave him. In a way, he was adding an edge to a spearhead that had previously been only a needle.

Everything came together in a perfect whole.

His whole self anticipated the expansion that was based on his inner self. The moment was perfect for everything he wanted to focus on. He was filled with the impetus to move on.

He was filled with momentum.

Shen was ready.

He had never stopped feeling the Law fragments. He was still watching them. Still trying to reach the Laws they represented.

And as soon as he put a definite period on the last chapter of his life until now, at the very moment he turned the page, he connected with the set of Laws of Lightning.

There was no secret to progressing at this moment. No talent. Only raw cultivation and momentum.

He was merely a cultivator who found enlightenment at the right place to break through.

And so, he became linked to something much grander than him.

It was no coincidence that Lightning was the first. His body was being unmade, and he felt his atoms like never before. They had electrical charges. He felt the pain that ran through his nervous system as electric impulses. He reached a balance within himself through self-reflection, and the biological brain also worked on electrical impulses.

Shen didn't touch on the entire set of Laws of Lightning, of course. He had only pulled the Concept of Arc Flash into his Path, and his connection with Lightning had to go through it. He could only touch the Laws which Arc Flash most strongly connected with, based on his understanding and use of Arc Flash.

He mostly used Arc Flash for speed bursts and increased destructive potential, so it was no surprise that he felt the pull of the Law of Conductivity.

Lightning was fast because of that Law. It was destructive because of that Law. Physically, electricity was the movement of electrical charges. Heat and light were produced when a material resisted it. The least resistance it encountered, the faster it became. The more resistance it found, the more damage it caused.

The Law of Conductivity made electricity travel the path of least resistance. That's how it could reach a place fast. That's how it could spread inside one's body and destroy everything as it turned into heat.

While the Laws of Lightning were more than the physical movement of electrons, Conductivity was the Law that spoke closer to Shen.

So he let himself connect with it—and was stopped.

A string into greatness remained, but it wasn't strong enough. Shen's mind was weighted down by the rest of his Path. It couldn't be elevated.

Good.

Shen had to complete his Qi Saturation and connect to other Laws before actually breaking through. He laughed as the rules of Reality limiting him worked in his favor. He had never felt more like a cultivator.

He turned his attention back to the Law fragments.

Hours later, he gained insight into Water.

[A/N: We'll go more in-depth on each Law as things progress.]

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