[MA] 409. When She Deems it Fit (Patreon)

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After the pleasure came the weirdness.

Half a glass of Eternal Molten Bluefrost didn't make Shen drunk like a mortal might become, but it was close enough. His deepest desires didn't become less beholden to his Honor; in fact, his Will and Honor somehow worked better together. They found a balance that made both his Will and Honor satisfied and dissatisfied at the same time.

That strange balance was found in unpretentious honesty.

The world had become a blur despite Shen feeling more in focus than ever.

He looked at E'livia's eyes, and she looked at his.

They recognized the fleshly appreciation in each other's eyes came at once.

They simultaneously reached for each other's hands.

As soon as their hands touched, so did their souls, and Shen found an instant of second nirvana.

He wasn't even sure if that counted as sex. He only knew souls met when a cultivator had sex, and their souls had just caressed each other for a moment. It was marvelous. It was also entirely too short. A taste of what they couldn't have. They pulled back almost as soon as they touched in mutual agreement.

Words were exchanged. Shen didn't really know what he was saying or hearing. The actual words didn't matter. What mattered was the meaning, and their sentences were full of it.

A promise was made. Two years to get to know each other. To ponder and make decisions. They would be friends and nothing else until then. No teasing, no poking, no pushing boundaries. Just getting to know one another with the promise of a conversation in the future, when they would decide the destination of their relationship.

They didn't speak a single word after that.

They left the restaurant and flew to the skies.

They lay on the clouds while embracing each other, not letting their souls touch again.

There was no need to speak to decide on doing those things; they had found a level of camaraderie Shen hadn't known possible. He was sure the Eternal Molten Bluefrost had also molten their individuality somehow. It scared him. He was glad he and E'livia had come to the arrangement they did, or they would've done something that shouldn't be done for the first time under such circumstances.

Considering how their souls had touched for the briefest of moments, maybe they had done it.

Shen's body reacted as they hugged. So did E'livia's. They acknowledged each other's physical admiration—and didn't act on it.

Sleep came quickly under that strange state of mind.

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Shen woke up to find E'livia already awake in his arms. She lay still, hugging herself, her body tense, not moving, like a deer caught by strong light.

He felt sorry for her to be feeling somewhat scared, somewhat confused. He also felt glad she had chosen not to leave. They had come to an understanding, and some level of trust had been established. The simple act of staying also showed she abided by her earlier wordless decision to share a "bed" together precisely once until they talked about their relationship again in the future. It made him trust her a little more.

Shen smiled bittersweetly, controlled his desire to softly kiss her forehead—it would go against the terms of their silent agreement—and released her.

"Thank you for this," he said.

That was the most gratitude he had felt to date, even more than he had felt about Un'Re. Their time together had been magical. Finding some measure of friendship in E'livia was priceless to the current Shen.

His gratefulness and release made her relax. Her soul calmed. Her tension almost completely disappeared as she allowed herself a tranquil smile.

"I was afraid the Shen I met was an illusion," she admitted with a low voice as she knelt up on the clouds.

"The drink removed some of our individuality, didn't it?" Shen asked.

He wasn't upset about it. He could tell without a shadow of a doubt that E'livia hadn't known about it. That knowledge came from the strange bond they had formed the day before. The bond itself was gone, and some parts were blurs, but every emotion he had experienced was fresh and firm in his memory.

E'livia sighed. "G'ana said she only trusts people with whom she drinks Eternal Molten Bluefrost. It shows their true character, she says. Nowadays, she uses it to select partners and friends. She wanted to bring me before, but Dad wouldn't give me the money."

Shen recalled E'livia talking about her childhood friend. Politely put, G'ana would jump on any male she fancied at first sight. She was also supposedly as hot as E'livia herself.

E'livia had offered to introduce her to Shen, but Shen refused out of simple fear that E'livia would talk about tribulation-related matters with G'ana before anything happened. The rejection improved E'livia's evaluation of Shen and was undoubtedly partly responsible for the following chain of events, Bluefrost or not.

In hindsight, Shen was surprised by how his fear of consequences had helped him. Sure, it was a base biological response. Yet, it had made him find something more important than a moment of pleasure. He valued his companionship with E'livia and their experience—that included pleasure but wasn't only it—more than sex with someone as hot as her.

To feel fear went against his Will of Power. Enough Power meant not fearing anything. Yet, to deny its usefulness was stupid.

Something to consider moving forward.

Sadly, despite Shen's "machinations" to keep E'livia away from G'ana, she widened her eyes as she stood up and said, "G'ana! I'm late for a meeting with her! Talk to you in an hour or so!" Then, she flew away.

The tribulation prevented Shen from asking E'livia not to go. It crossed some boundaries, likely because he intended to save himself. He could only watch her reach the portals below and step through one of them.

"Don't you ever disregard what she did for you, boy," a male voice said beside Shen.

He didn't need to turn to see E'lemer, but he stood up respectfully and turned all the same. "What do you mean, Esteemed Senior?"

E'lemer was wearing juxtaposed red and white clothes. His enamel pin was pure golden. Shen guessed the gold color meant the holin was higher in the sect's hierarchy than Shen had anticipated.

"You'll get to know when she deems it fit to tell you," E'lemer replied.

The B-rank was somber. Sad. He didn't like Shen as a companion for E'livia and didn't try to hide it, but he looked like a beaten man, not a furious, jealous father. It confused Shen. He disliked it more than if E'lemer had attacked him straight.

E'lemer continued after a brief pause, "I only came to tell you not to leave her during these two years. Not for any reason. It'll harm her, and I will kill you if you do."

Shen connected the dots. "Self-sacrifice," he said. E'lemer didn't hide his surprise at Shen knowing about it but didn't react more than that. Shen continued, "Am I the object of her self-sacrifice? Is this some bloodline business?" He hoped not because it felt like the kind of bullshit that attracted needless complications.

E'lemer shook his head. "It's connected to it but different. I can see you'd not like her to be ruled by her bloodline instincts, and I can assure you she is herself. Maybe more than ever. It's a delicate time for her all the same. I have said what I came to say. Push her away at your own peril."

He disappeared at those words. Unsurprisingly, E'livia reappeared from the portal right after. He had timed his appearance.

In principle, Shen hated that E'lemer had approached him like that. Shen's friendship with E'livia was his business, not E'lemer's. He didn't plan to push her away but would if matters developed that way. The B-rank had no right to threaten Shen's life for that.

But he was surprised to find he understood a father's worry despite having no parents in his memories. E'lemer's attitude was both despicable and somewhat honorable. He was caring for a daughter who had been embracing him hours ago like any loving daughter might.

They doted on each other, and in that specific instance, it felt beautiful rather than childish or overly protective.

Shen wished he could develop something like that with his own family one day—and considered how that trace of E'livia's personality now felt desirable rather than like a flaw.

"I can't believe it!" E'livia complained as she flew to Shen. "They sent G'ana on an urgent mission!"

Shen wondered if it had anything to do with the Grand Elder. It was highly likely. He thanked the man in his heart.

"Did you get a mission, though?" he asked. "I'm ready to leave when you are."

E'livia smiled. "I did! I'm all yours for two years!" She realized her words, blushed, and quickly corrected. "No undertone intended! I swear!"

Shen chuckled. "Don't worry. I trust we'll both honor our agreement. Let's just speak normally. If our words happen to have double meaning, so be it. Personally, I'll take it as an internal joke. And maybe a thermometer of how things are between us."

The holin frowned. "A thermometer? But that means doing it on purpose."

"Not necessarily. It was no coincidence you 'misspoke' after we slept together." There was no double meaning there because holin "flew together" rather than slept together. At least, that's how they meant business. "I propose we don't say anything on purpose but also don't filter our speech too much. It'll help us get to terms with whatever is coming as we notice the signs of how the other party feels despite the lack of conversations about it. That will help. So will the inevitable non-verbal signs." He looked pointedly at her body, which was visibly aroused. "Some of them might be better off hidden for the next two years, though. So others don't notice. And I don't feel tempted." 

Only now did Shen realize he had been talking to E'livia's father with physical evidence of his desire for his daughter. E'livia also discovered that she had left to seek G'ana and returned without calming down. People had to have noticed. The smell of her pheromones was especially noticeable.

"Awkward" didn't start to define how they felt as they controlled their bodies.

"Well, I have places to be," Shen said. "I'm supposed to fight a City Lord in about a day. How long did we sleep, anyway?" He was surprised to find he didn't know. The drink had shredded his perception of time.

"A few hours," E'livia replied, her voice still shaky and her face red. She was much more embarrassed than him for being seen aroused. "It was nice," she added with a low voice. "Your arms, I mean."

Shen wasn't sure if that counted as more intimate than what was expected of friends. He guessed it was right at the edge of the boundaries. He didn't mind. He liked hearing it once before being unable to for a couple of years.

"Everything about your body was nice, too," he replied with a smile. Instead of blushing, E'livia perked up. She loved being desired by him, and it only made him want her more.

Heavens, he was so lost in her!

He was glad his Will and Honor had come together to reach that agreement and that both weren't fighting now that the Bluefrost's effects wore off.

"Anyway," he said, "we can start our travels in Alaans. Can you lead us there?"

"Sure. Come." She led the way. "What are we doing?"

Shen looked pointedly at their surroundings. There were still sect members around, most of whom were looking at the two. Un'Re was stored inside Shen's soul, so he guessed E'lemer hadn't been the only one to notice they were sleeping together on the clouds and that it was more scandalous than E'livia had ever mentioned.

"Too many prying ears," he replied. "We can discuss my plans on the way. So, is it a big deal for two friends to sleep on the clouds?"

E'livia choked on her own saliva, then smiled nervously. "I guess? Sorry about that. I wasn't thinking straight, you know?"

"No problem, I just want to understand it. Are there any expectations on us? Does everyone consider us a couple?"

"What? No! I mean, no... It's... It's kinda worse. I'm really sorry." Her voice became a whisper. "Everyone can see I'm still a virgin. Physically, that is. Our souls..." She trailed off. "Not that it was actually that! Everyone knows it doesn't count unless..." She swallowed and moved back to the matter at hand. "Anyway, I'm a virgin, so everyone who saw us at the clouds together believes you didn't... That you couldn't... Well, that you weren't... vigorous enough, I guess?" She lowered her head, and her next whisper was so low that even his C-rank ears almost didn't pick up the "Sorry."

Law Vision and metaphysical senses allowed Shen to know many things about living beings that he usually ignored. One of them was seeing inside them. Both male and female holins had organic tissue in multiple places to attest to their virginity, like many other races. Indeed, E'livia was still very much a virgin; she had precisely seven biological seals in different parts of her body to attest to that.

As far as Shen's memories could tell, that was the very first instance where people socially used what they perceived of others' intimacy through such senses. Every other race in his memories ignored it, either out of politeness or because they really didn't care about who mated with whom.

Knowing everyone was looking at him as if he wasn't "vigorous" wasn't flattering, but Shen didn't much care about their opinion. This, by the way, confirmed his earlier thoughts about buying an expensive drink for E'livia: public opinion didn't matter to him; female opinion mattered when he was interested in them.

"I wish you had told me beforehand," Shen replied. "But it's alright. It was worth it. As I implied earlier, it was the best hug of my life. Is Alaans far from here?"

She relaxed a bit at his words and shook her head. "A dozen minutes at this speed."

"Slow down, then. And stop somewhere nice midway. I want to share my plans with you."

They talked about nothing important until they landed on the peak of a damn tall snow-covered mountain peak. The view was amazing. They shared a moment of wonder at the natural beauty before Shen broke the silence.

"I want to learn alchemy," he informed. "And the local language. Also, how well can you disguise yourself? And where can I find a cheap C-tier spear?"

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[A/N: It's been a while since I developed a secondary character like this. I greatly enjoyed writing these scenes. (Btw, I miss writing Lost in the Future.)

That said, the following chapters will focus more on plot progression, with the eventual friendship moments here and there.]

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