[MA] 401. Was It Worth It? (Patreon)

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[A/N: Four hundred chapters! \o/

How about a Q&A to celebrate? Ask anything you want to know in the comments section of this or the previous chapter. I'll pick some questions and answer them later this week.

I'll obviously avoid spoilers, but this is a great time to ask about that thing that has been bothering you for a while.

On another note, I have released all the late chapters! \o/

We're now back on schedule.

Chapters this week: 6/6 (3 of which are late chapters)

Late chapters: 0

Next chapter: Tuesday]

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Shen asked, "Why are you helping me?" She had dodged a similar question before, but he had to know before answering her.

The woman frowned, then smiled. "Ah, little rebel. Child of Chaos indeed, are you not? I shall entertain this one last inquiry.

"Common sense doesn't matter to the E'holin bloodline. We're self-sacrifice. When our bloodline awakens, we become bound to an object of self-sacrifice, much as the T'holin become bound to their object of selfless protection. Do not resent T'onir for his actions; he couldn't control himself any more than you could stop yourself from seeking retribution against E'livia when she attacked you.

"My son's expression of self-sacrifice is made manifest in my granddaughter. That has been so since my daughter-in-law, of the T'holin bloodline, sacrificed herself to protect him. His Path was twisted, his self-sacrifice infected by the need to protect his offspring, though it doesn't protect her from his overprotection... But that is more than you must know.

"Suffice to say that what many perceive as senseless pampering, I see for what it rightfully is: self-sacrificial love. And I shall provide him with the same in my way. Him, my granddaughter, the Myriad Worlds, and the Lord Gardener."

She stopped there, and Shen frowned. "That doesn't answer my question."

Her smile became longing. "Karma, child."

The world shook Shen's mind. The Heavenly Lightning was still surrounding his entire self and flared to prevent him from accessing his memories, but a clear path opened in his soul, and a memory came to him.

Karma. He carried good karma with two people he couldn't recall. They owed him. Greatly.

The skies turned black within seconds. Dark golden clouds filled the heavens. Black and white lightning flashed within.

Shen felt the taste of Annihilation just by glimpsing upwards.

The holin continued as if nothing was happening. "Do not blame yourself for your question; the Heavens were bound to learn the truth as soon as I finished. And fear not their punishment; they know to wait for our conversation to end. They owe me as much.

"The complete answer to your inquiry is that I shall help you for politics. You were —————, but you're being —————, which the scheming lady wasn't aware of being possible." She didn't help him hear the words that the tribulation blocked. "The debt you're owed will be collected with interest at the appropriate time, and part of it shall be tied to us. We shall be linked to the incoming events whether the Lord Gardener wants it or not.

"Thus, I forfeit my life for what I perceive as the good of the object of my self-sacrifice: the World Tree. The Lord Gardener is wise beyond my ability to conceive; alas, he cares too much for us to allow us to join the incoming Final Selection. And he cares too much for us to stop me from acting right now, as much as he is against my actions. He heavily punishes those who misuse the freedom he gives us, but only after the fact. Freedom without the possibility of betrayal is no real freedom, or so he believes. Such is his greatest weakness, which I shall exploit for his own good.

"The World Tree shall stand against those whom we, the sour losers, name the Usurpers—for after this connection is made, the Usurpers will erase us if they win.

"You'll come to understand the meaning of my words should you survive your present Selection."

From what Shen understood, that woman wanted the people who owed Shen through karma to owe the Myriad Worlds. That would force the Myriad Worlds to participate in the Final Selection. From her earlier words, that Selection would be a battle-slash-tribulation involving a lot of people who wanted to stop someone who was one step away from getting really close to controlling all of Reality. If that someone won, they would destroy the Myriad Worlds because of the karmic link to their enemies, which the holin was forging through Shen.

The Gardener was against it, but in some twisted way, that lady believed betraying the guy was an act of self-sacrifice for the entire Myriad Worlds. The only thing that made sense would be if she believed that the one about to control Reality would destroy the Myriad Worlds regardless of their link to their enemies. But if that was the case, would the Gardener really refuse to engage in the upcoming battle? Was he really that blinded by his Law of Caring Cultivation, by his care for the cultivators in the Myriad Worlds, by his Law's connection to the Axioms of Life, that he couldn't see the bigger picture? That he couldn't risk their lives in battle for the greater good?

Shen felt the lady was either delusional or lying through her teeth. He replied, "It's okay to want to die after however long you lived. It's okay to give up. But that's a lot of bullshit. I'd like to leave now."

He didn't know much about interpersonal relationships, but he knew not to try to make excuses for someone who was showing you an ugly side of theirs. At least not when he knew nothing of them. That woman was a treacherous, scheming A-rank, and he'd rather not wield a weapon crafted by her.

If he died for his offense, so be it. It was better than to wield a weapon forged by someone so twisted. The Spear was part of his Path, and her corruption might affect him somehow.

Shen was getting used to his words shocking everyone in the Myriad Worlds. She, too, widened her eyes in disbelief.

She asked, "After all I've done, you bite the hand that fed you?"

He snorted, "What have you done for me, Exalted Senior? Nothing. You've only progressed your own agenda. All you revealed was for yourself; all knowledge you have gifted me was to make me trust you. The first member of the Gardener Sect I saw tried to murder me. Now, an A-rank tries to use me for her schemes. I must say I'm not impressed with your sect. Only your son seems to have any sense of honor."

She stared expressionlessly at him for a while. The golden clouds rumbled above them. He thought he would actually die right there.

Then, she waved her hand, and Spacetime twisted. He found himself standing before the portal he had crossed.

Shen raised an eyebrow and looked around. No one seemed to have noticed anything. He shook his head, sighed, and stepped ahead.

Before crossing the doorframe, he whispered one sentence, "Not impressed at all."

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"Was it worth it?" a kind old male voice asked behind E'vania.

She didn't turn to look at the speaker. "It was not. You were correct, milord. I should've left scheming for those who know how to weave a believable lie."

The Gardener chuckled. "When did I tell you that?"

She smiled. "You told me to be forthcoming with the child. But I had to know. Her blood runs on him, and I shall not have another scheming drow lead a descendent of mine to ruin."

He countered, "Darla has not broken any treaty she ever signed. She can't."

"She has forgotten us as agreed upon, and enmities as ancient as ours should not matter," E'vania conceded. "But she killed my firstborn. After so many eras, I birthed a new son, and I haven't seen her for almost as long. Yet, now, her blood appears and sends my secondborn to the Abyssal Gates? That is no coincidence. It cannot be."

"It is, and it's not," he started. "A Child of Chaos will force..."

She interrupted, completing the sentence for him, "...a Child of Order to face its weak links and break or be strengthened. You said that before, milord. The fact remains that I cannot see the love you claim Order has for the holin. Is his presence here not proof? Order does not care for me or what a Child of Chaos brings to my heart. The Heavens mock my feelings, yet life goes on for everyone else as if nothing has changed. Even if the holin are Children of Order, Order is but an absent parent."

The Gardener didn't reply to that. They had had that discussion many times before, and he wasn't here for that.

"Will you kill me?" she asked.

His answer was worse than an affirmative. "Was the boy right? Do you seek death?"

"I am self-sacrifice," she replied.

"Then sacrifice yourself," he said with his unique blend of kindness, admonishing, and appeal. "Face your regrets and fears, and erase your past with a bright future. It's long past you allowed E'lomor a final rest in your heart. Take your living son's place in the Abyssal Gates and take the final step forward in your Path. I'll need stronger assistance if we're to fight the Usurpers."

E'vania widened her eyes and turned to him. Most of what she had told the boy was true, except for her plan. The Gardener had refused to participate in the Final Selection until now.

"You changed your mind?" she asked.

"There was nothing to change; I never made up my mind. It was never my care for the World Tree that stopped me but that I desired revenge too much, and I couldn't allow feelings to be the main motivator to throw my people at a war of extinction. I was merely pondering."

"And your conclusion is to march to war?"

He smiled sadly. "What else could it be? The Usurpers did kill our sweet friend just to progress their Purge. It shows how their rule will be if they succeed. I cannot bow to them."

E'vania smiled sadly. "I wish Discontinuity hadn't erased her name from Reality. It saddens me almost as losing her does."

"It was his right. As is mine to strike down the boy if you so desire. Just say the word."

"You made a deal."

"And it hurt you more than I imagined it would. You're one of the few friends of yore who remains alive. If you cannot overcome this hurdle by yourself, I'll help you. For old times' sake. You're much more important to me than the boy."

E'vania considered it for a moment. She was afraid for her granddaughter. The girl was smitten by the boy even if she didn't realize it yet. She was also at risk of helping him in a way that would see the Heavens punish her for it.

Killing him would solve many problems, real or perceived.

But she had not lied about the World Tree being the ultimate subject of her self-sacrifice. She had been ignoring that part of herself for a long while. Birthing E'lemer had been a step toward fixing that, but it wasn't enough. She needed to elevate her Path into a Law to be truly useful to the Tree.

She would take that last step now.

The Gardener had been right; contact with the Child of Chaos had strengthened her resolve. Indirectly, the boy had assisted her in accepting it. Asking for his head would be wrong.

She asked for something else instead, "Let me kill Darla after I ascend."

His smile died. "It'll be like murdering a defenseless child. She cannot touch you without breaking the treaty, and as I said, she cannot break it."

"I know."

He smiled again, but it was the saddest smile she had ever seen on his face. "Very well."

She pulled a splinter of Abyssal Twig and a shard of Anointed Avon Alloy from her spatial treasure. She exerted her Will and pulled the boy's essence from Spacetime, inserting Spear's Shaft, Lightning's Conductivity, and Wind's Gentle Breeze into the spear she forged with her Realization. She broke a few rules to give it three enchantments: Resistance, Sharpness, and Oneness.

The C+++ weapon was crafted within seconds.

She threw it at the Gardener. "If he shall protect my offspring, I refuse to allow him to do so with some garbage from the Armory. Please ensure he accepts this—after you remove my influence. May this be repayment for my earlier offense to him, and may my upcoming service to the Gardener Sect in the Abyss be punishment enough for bringing politics to the highest level of the sect."

The Gardener shook his head. "This is politics. The Oneness will ensure he picks the weapon despite his reservation toward you. What if he meets her one day and shows her this weapon? She'll recognize your work and remember. She'll take it as a warning and tremble in anticipation of the inevitable—or worse, attempt to Ascend herself while overwhelmed by fear. Kill her if you must, but such a twisted attack would be too vile."

E'vania had honestly not thought about that. Indeed, she had never withstood a chance of tricking the boy if even the often genuine Gardener could see this far into shrewdness territory.

She applied her Will, and the weapon snapped into thousands of pieces.

"Please, remake it with your style, milord. I never meant for such deep considerations. I was legitimately trying to repay the boy and protect my bloodline. The future is for the people in the future; I only worry for the present."

His smile softened a little. "Very well."

He waved his hand, and the broken weapon quickly reassembled. It was even stronger than before, though E'vania couldn't tell exactly how. It disappeared soon after.

"Thank you, milord."

"A minor matter. I'll see you after you return from the Abyss. There's no time limit; take your time to ascend. I'll postpone the news to your son until the Honor Duel is over, or he might cancel it, and your beautiful weapon won't have the chance to shine. It's been too long since the Gardener Sect witnessed the brilliance of your craft. I won't take it from them."

He left as soon as he said those words—without ever mentioning that he had improved her work into what she could've crafted if she had actually put her heart into it.

He would help everyone see and recall her for her former glory—and if she never returned, that's all everyone would remember.

E'vania kept staring at where he had been for a while. The Gardener was always so warm yet so distant. She often wondered if he even felt anything for anyone. At times like this, when he threw his precious World Tree at war against the Primordials for a fallen friend, she got her answer and recalled the many reasons she had pledged herself to him instead of the Alliance.

Then, she looked at Flower City. Her only son and two grandchildren were there. She might not see them again. Or she might return with glory and elevate their bloodline.

"Love you," she whispered, then stepped through Spacetime straight into the Abyss.

The skies cleared up. Her punishment would be even further delayed until she returned.

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