Goodbye and Rest in Peace Admiral O. F. Doom (Patreon)

Late last night I found out that we have lost one of our own: Admiral Oliver Franklin Doom. He was a Legionnaire, and he was a friend, and I'm greatly saddened by his loss. He was felled by a heart attack far too young.  I miss him already.

Admiral Oliver Franklin Doom used to check in on Friday Night Frolics. He was a manager where he worked, and late at night when I was on he used to use his authority to put Friday Night Frolics on the loudspeaker, forcing all his minions working in the warehouse to listen.  I think about those days now, think about the friends I've lost, think about how fragile our lives and times are, and I am filled with sadness.  People come and go in our lives.  They have their own concerns, dramas, disappointments, trials...it's not unusual not to hear from people for a while, so when that happens you don't automatically think the worst.  You just think they got busy, not that they've passed.  Not that you'll never speak to them again.  But sometimes it turns out that an absence is permanent.  And it has left me reflective, somber.  I am sorry I never got the chance to say goodbye.

I will never forget his wry asides, his funny sayings, always concluding with "Just an observation."  One of the things he told me he appreciated about me is when he would leave a superchat, even if he didn't have the space available to type his catchphrase, I knew him, and I always knew to include that, even when it wasn't there.  I try to do that for all of you, remember the little things about you.  It's not an easy thing to do, because I have a lousy memory for things like that, and there are so many more of you than there are of me, but even so I think the effort is important, because we never know how much time we have together, and it's important that you all know that I treasure you, treasure our finite time together in this rare moment, and so while we're all here, I just want you to know that I love you guys.  And I'm trying my best to show you.  And I'm sorry for the times I fail.

So much sadness, in our days and ways.  So much loss, so much uncertainty.  So many things fading in twilight as the sunset draws near, though how near we can never say.  I regret being unable to live fully in the moment, distracted by petty thoughts, resentments, hurts...slights both real and imagined.  I regret my own imperfections, the things I've done, things I've failed to do.  But really, when you get down to it, the secret of enlightenment (or at least one of them) is the realization that everyone is doing the best they can.  Some days our best is better than on other days, when our best is so deficient as to be tragic.  But everyone does their best...after all, if they could do better then they would.  So many of us spend our lives judging people.  Moralizing, condemning.  Jesus said "Judge not lest ye be judged", and do you know why?  It's because when we judge others, we also cannot help but judge ourselves.  And since we know everything we do or have ever done, without forgiveness of others we cannot forgive ourselves.

Why am I going on about this?  What does this have to do with the passing of our brother, friend, and fellow Legionnaire?  Because when someone dies, you always ask yourself, could I have done more?  Did I do right by this friend, this brother, this parent, this lover?  When my mother died, I mostly looked at the ways I let her down.  It was very hard remembering the times I made the effort, even when she was so difficult, so negative, when talking to her would plunge me into the familiar mire of depression because of how dark she was.  But you know, I was doing my best with her, even though my best sucked a lot of times.  And she was doing her best for me, even though her best sucked a lot of times.  

I don't know why I'm going on like this, or what I'm trying to say.  I guess it's a time for soul-searching when you get news like this.  I am filled with sadness at the passing of this brother of ours.  I can't remember exactly the last time I spoke with him.  He just stopped coming around one day.  In a similar way, I haven't heard from Narutakikun in a long time either.  And I wonder if he's okay, and hope he is.  And I hope all of you are doing well.  I don't hear from a lot of you a lot of times, and I hope it's just because you're busy, and that you're doing fine.

I don't want anyone to feel in any way obliged to respond to this, because times are hard and everyone is struggling in one way or another, but here's a link to a fund to help out some with funeral expenses and whatnot.  Please donate only if you're so inclined and can afford to part with a little bit, and if you can't, in lieu of that, in his name please contact a friend you've lost track of, and check on them.  Make sure they're okay.  The Admiral would have liked that.  I'm also including a link to his YouTube channel.  He won't be making any more videos, but...I remember an episode of All In The Family.  Archie had made friends with an old jewish guy who was an inventor, and they had a new remote that would open a garage door and they thought it would make them rich.  Only problem was, when you pushed the button, all the doorbells in the neighborhood would ring.  It was a flaw in their otherwise brilliant project that the old man was working on to fix.  Well before he could, Archie got word that he had died.  And you know, Archie was no fan of Jews, being a man of limited experience and narrow views.  But Archie still had a good heart, and I'll never forget Archie's genuine sorrow at the passing of this man, who made him question his own preconceived notions.  And I'll never forget how sad Archie was as he went to the front door, stepped on the porch, and pushed the button, ringing all the doorbells in the neighborhood...for him.

So while it may be futile in a way, I'd like us to step out on the porch, and ring all the doorbells for Admiral Oliver Franklin Doom.  Throw him a sub please if you would.  I think wherever he is, it will make him smile.  As for me, I am in tears.

Rest in Peace Admiral.  You were one of a kind sir.  Just an observation.

https://www.youtube.com/c/AdmiralOliverFranklinDoom/featured?app=desktop

https://www.gofundme.com/f/richard-simpson-memorial-fund?utm_source=twitter&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=m_pd+share-sheet