Journal of Doom: 4/5/20 - "You're Not Alone!" (Patreon)

Dear Xanadoom,

One of the original ideas for this Grand Experiment known as Xanadoom was to kind of do journal entries about my status and so on, and I think I'm going to bring that back now.  It seems a perfect time, doesn't it?

So...the isolation continues as the media tells us everything is going to hell.  No one really knows what to think anymore, but from my perspective, here's my practical price of peas in Peoria take on things: life is kind of ranging from hard right now to extremely hard.  I am carrying on, but everything is a great effort at the moment.  I still manage to get videos out, do  livestreams on schedule, but...under these kinds of circumstances, unprecedented really in our lifetimes, we are assailed on all sides by worry.  Worries about our health, worries about the health of our friends and loved ones (of which I count all of you), worries about the economy, governmental overreach, asteroids, the supervolcano, UFO abductions, and if Bigfoot is secretly taking poops in my yard.  I suspect he is, cause raccoons don't get that big, do they?  And if they do...God help us...

In short, the constant oppression on all sides coupled with isolation and stress is impacting everyone at some level.  How could it not?  I tell you that, as tough as I am, and as accustomed to solitude and separation as I am (for I am naturally solitary), in a sense knowing I CAN'T go out, not because of any BS law which I wouldn't really give a damn about, but because there's nowhere to GO and even if there was it would be truly ill-advised, it kind of makes even a solitary man feel a bit like a prisoner.  And I PREFER this!  So I can only imagine that, feeling impacted as I am, it feels ten times worse for those of you who actually enjoy being in crowds! 

And that's why I'm writing this to you, not to complain or whine, but to let you know again that if you're feeling any of these things, you're NOT ALONE.  That's the main thing...to know you're not alone.  That what you're feeling is normal.  It is not weak, it is normal...and if even the Future Ruler of Earth is feeling impacted by this, that should let you know that you're not alone.  Upset, stressed, perhaps blue...but you're not alone.

I apologize if over the next month or so the things I bring you are a little irregular.  I'm finding it hard to sleep and hard to focus.  My wits remain unimpaired, but my energy level has been impacted, and even fixing lunch feels like a slog through mud these days.  I'm scattered, behind as always regarding emails and messages.  More ideas than I have time or energy to implement, though thankfully my sense of humor remains vital and intact.  In fact, oddly enough, I'm starting another channel centered around my NPR Doomcock kind of character, because I think that doing that kind of humor, along with genuinely relaxing ASMR type stuff, literary readings, and philosophical discussions, may be very helpful for people.  It's going to be a rather eclectic and original channel, and I think in its way it may help people even more than what I typically do.  At any rate, I need an outlet at this moment to talk about philosophy and literature, and get some inspirational messages out into the world...along with some really wicked and sly humor mocking that entire genre at the same time I'm exploring it (and please don't be concerned...my channel and Patreon are my highest priority, and this channel is comparatively very simple to put together, and in doing this I'm hoping to kind of do self-therapy in a sense, I think in getting some of this more introspective stuff out into the world it'll free some blockages and help me be a better Doomcock...plus imagine how it will CONFOUND my enemies to see this other side of the man they call a "hater racist sexist"...ah, what fucking fools they will realize they've been!)  Not sure when this channel will get created, I've got some stuff ready to go, although again, implementing anything these days is a struggle as I fight through this constant sense of oppression...but that's the message I'm trying to convey to you all: keep fighting.

Keep fighting through these oppressive times.  Fight through the worry, the fear, the depression, the uncertainty.  One of your anchors is right here: Xanadoom.  Know you're not alone.  Know you matter to a lot of people.  Know that fear is the Mind Killer.  Know that when you're here, consolation is only a post away, a message, a DM...and know that all of this shall pass.  I'm here for you, and I'm making it my responsibility to post these messages every day or so.  It's a great place for you guys to post replies, and start conversations with each other.

And finally, please don't worry about me.  I'm fine.  I'd be lying if I said I wasn't impacted, but I am fine.  I don't like to complain, I naturally clam up and back away from people when I'm suffering, but I also wouldn't like to carry on like I"m not impacted, making those who are impacted feel worse and more alone.  Believe me, you're not.  Even the Future Ruler of Earth is struggling...but I am strong and I will be fine.   (Even HARVEY is impacted...he's depressed that the world will end and he won't get to stomp any buildings...poor kid...I've promised him in the event of apocalypse I WILL push the button...though if a little green bastard in a wife beater and a fez winds up on your couch demanding pizza and beer, check the weather...it may be partly cloudy with a chance of volcano in the evening!)  So yeah...part of me wants to just delete this whole post because I hate to complain...but dammit, I think this may help some of you, so I won't...but honestly, PLEASE don't worry about me okay?  I'm just trying to make the point by discussing a little of what I'm going through that it's normal to be impacted, and that we'll get through this together.  If anything, for the duration of this madness, all I ask for from you is forgiveness if some deliverables are late.  I'm scattered and so being disciplined and methodical has kind of gone out the proverbial window.  I'm also struggling with Legionnaire packages, since going to the post office is risky.  I think I'll just use stamps and overpay for shipping, so I don't have to stand in line and contract the zombie plague.  At any rate, because I'm very off-balance, in some ways I'll probably be more responsive, in other ways less...but I promise I'll keep trying.  

Hang in folks.  Here in Xanadoom, you're in the best company.  Love you guys.  Stay healthy...and stay angry!