Becoming an Egirl - Part I 📝 (Patreon)

For those of you who may have found me through my Fiction writing, I have Part 1 of a new story completed! It goes up on Fictionmania.tv tonight after 10pm, but I figured I would share here for your enjoyment if you are interested at all! And if not, also no biggie: New sexy pics and fun coming in soon too! Story begins below!

❤️Ashley ❤️

========================================

I only did it because I truly felt I had no other options. I had always considered myself fully straight - there was no stigma against someone who was LGBTQ, it just wasn’t me. I was open minded, had plenty of gay friends, but never once in my life had I ever seen a dress and wondered if I would look good in it, or saw a hunky guy on the street and... well, ever used the adjective “hunky” to describe him.

In all honesty, I actually was a bit of a player with women, I rarely kept a relationship longer than a month and at only 25, I definitely used my youth to it’s full hook up potential. I was slight, wiry, and had sharp features - and with jet black hair and striking blue eyes, trying to hook up with women was never really that difficult.

What made all that even easier was that I had a decent job as an up and coming paralegal for “Ludlow & Ludlow” - a father and son team in my city. Being young and foolish, I spent most of my comfortable influx of cash from this cushy position at local bars, restaurants, and clubs. It was the easiest way to kill free time as I lived an utterly single life of dancing, sex, concerts, and the occasional hangover.

Unfortunately, my inability to be financially smart likely came from my childhood. I grew up wealthy, but had always been estranged from my family - I was one son among four, and was pretty much excommunicated when I told them I would rather go into law than continue in the family car dealership business that now stretched across the entire city… When I was accepted by “Ludlow and Ludlow”, I definitely didn’t hold back in telling my whole family to bite me. And with a long term position pretty much guaranteed to me from my firm - I never thought twice about preparing for the worst…

But then COVID hit - and it changed everything.

I had grown up with fairly severe asthma as a kid - something my brothers and even my father saw as an utter weakness. Despite my desire for it to be otherwise, I was still fairly susceptible to attacks and the occasional need for full use of my inhaler. Which meant, amongst all of this virus shit, I was truly one of the most vulnerable. Risking my life to keep up my old lifestyle never even crossed my mind - I knew going out in public was putting a huge risk on my own survival, and that fear of returning to a world of being unable to breathe on my own only further helped slide my eventual career path…

After a month in, work began to slow, and going out in public had been limited to only going out to the local grocery store on my street for essentials while masked up. My days fell into a pattern: wake, log on to a zoom call for an hour, and then kill time either working that day, or staring out at the view from my apartment and reading whatever books I had lying around. The view, and my apartment, were really the only benefit I had compared to most people during this - my mini condo was up on the third floor, far from the public below me, home to a rather nice little patio overlooking the city, and it was a rather spacious two bedroom hovel. It had always been amazing for hooking up with women in. Whatever cash influx wasn’t going to the single lifestyle, had all been funneling into my amazing little apartment that most people my age couldn’t afford… had I grown up in a less wealthy household, maybe I would have learned the value of saving, and spending wisely…

So on a terrible morning a month and a half into COVID, hearing the words “We have to - hopefully only temporarily - let you go” brought ice to my heart. Rick Ludlow, son to Darren Ludlow, stared at me from my laptop screen, honest sadness in his eyes - at least from what I could see in digital pixelation. I should have known something was up when Darren hadn’t joined in on the call. The older Ludlow was terse, short, and determined - so dealing with the inevitable emotions of laying someone off was not in his ballpark or comfort zone. And Rick and I had garnered a pretty decent friendship over the past year working alongside each other… so of course he would have to be the one to wreck my world.

Rick proceeded to tell me how tough a decision it was, and that he hoped more than anything that when things began to return to normal and their case load increased, I could be brought back on. He sounded genuine and concerned, but all I heard was ringing in my ears. I had been promised a full-time long-term job with these guys… something I could happily exist in for 10-15 years… and instead, I was now unemployed, and already financially at a major disadvantage. All I could think about as Rick droned on with his earnest apology were the many, many drinks, dinners, and concerts I had tossed money at that would have easily paid for another few months of rent.

“I promise Jordan,” Rick finally concluded to me, “When this is all over, we will bring you back on. I am so sorry.”

“I… okay… I…. Thank you Rick.” Was all I could get out of my mouth. I felt so pathetic and lost. Rick nodded earnestly, and then awkwardly cut off the call… I sat in silence… the apartment around me suddenly turning from the feeling of a cool, stylish home, into feeling like a prison designed to kill me. I fell asleep on the couch - head spinning.

========================================

I wasted no time the next morning, I immediately jumped onto every single site, social media app, or phone call that could possibly give me a new job… but much to my dismay - “hip young paralegal” was not something that was needed on the dying and slow economic market.

For 7 days I holed up in my apartment, doing nothing but calling, emailing, and applying - and at the end of that week - I had gotten no further than when I had hung up with Rick… I was at an utter loss, and the fear, anxiety, and dread caught up to me so badly that I had an asthma attack the likes of which I hadn’t experience in years. I was desperate.

So, in yet another effort to find a potential position, I reached out to some old single buddies of mine; people I used to bar hop with, and invited them to a “Zoom Catch Up” with the actual intention of dropping the news on them all and hoping for any pity that might lead me to a job.

I let Dan, John, and Rylin all in turn spill their guts to the group as we all sipped on our respective alcohol. My “vodka” was actually a much cheaper thing called: water… They all seemed to be doing decently, but sad and depressed about a lack of a social life due to COVID, and all were surviving on the scraps of the employers who were keeping them busy.

When the conversation turned to me I wasted no time in dropping the bomb: I had been let go, and I was desperate. The lack of empathy was visible, even in non-HD resolution. A general consensus of “That sucks man” was the verdict… At least until Rylin chimed in with a direct and concerned look to me “Have you looked for anything outside of your field?”

“Honestly man,” I responded “I have… I even looked up some fry cook positions, but I’m already immune compromised so that limits me, and add in that I live downtown with no car and… I just… fuck… I just feel so much at a loss.”

The silence was only broken by Dan muttering “Bummer…”

“Yeah, more than a bummer man.” I chuckled, finally accepting my utterly fucked fate in an almost peaceful manner.

With the tension broken a little John chirped in with a knowing laugh “Just do what Sam is doing to make ends meet dude, start an OnlyFans”

All three dudes started laughing hysterically, but I must have missed something, all I knew was that Sam was Rylin’s girlfriend. I had no idea she was on that site.

“Sam has an OnlyFans?” I asked quizzically - she always seemed so reserved and quiet and shy.

“Yeah man,” Rylin responded with a sly smile “I’m not a controlling dick, she can do whatever… plus like… shit man, she makes more than me at this point. And gets paid weekly. Chicks make fucking bank on that site.”

“Dudes don’t though” John laughed “Especially dudes like you Jordan. Unless you have a home gym hiding in that dope apartment somewhere, you’d be better off showing off your tits and hoping you’re mistaken for a chick.”

The group laughed again, and without a second thought, we all moved on to discussing the inevitable fall of movie theaters for the next half hour…

But for the rest of that conversation, something was tickling at the back of my brain… I just had no idea what it was yet.

========================================

With only 14 days until rent was next due, I truly felt the pressure, I had just enough money in my checking to cover rent for the next month, but once that was gone - I didn’t think 300 dollars would leave me much for food, and it certainly wouldn’t leave me any better off for next month’s rent…

I got absolutely no call backs, not even as a janitor at the local library - who probably thought I was just fucking with them considering my resume. I finally got so desperate I even texted my brothers and my mother, who all simply sent back some emoji’s and wished me well - obviously hoping it would be enough to get me to stop texting them.

What I saw as my final act of sacrifice before the end was texting my father - who responded to my simple text of “Hey Dad, how is COVID treating your biz?” with ferocity:

“Probably doing better than you Jordyn” the text read back.

My stressed, fearful heart went from cold to hot at those words… Spelling my name like that had always been an emasculating thing my father and brothers had found funny to do to me growing up - they always blamed it on auto correct but that was just something they said to make me even more pissed off.

I angrily tossed my phone onto my kitchen counter and let out a long sigh… I sat and watched the sun slowly set… taking notice that the city seemed so much quieter than it used to before all of this…

And as I sat there, my brain finally connected the dots with my mind fuming at the name “Jordyn” and finally spoke up to what it had been thinking on since Rylin mentioned it: OnlyFans…. How women made bank on OnlyFans…

The gears in my mind slowly clicked… Maybe I could steal some pics from some hot chick and try to open an account? Was that fraud? I would know… I was a paralegal… And I mean, I was a decent guy, or at least I would have liked to think that. I may have been a player but was I willing to do that to someone else? I decided no. Not only because of the fear of being caught, but really because of the the utter idea of abusing someone’s privacy like that… it all sent a chill through me. At least I still had enough of a conscience.

But then another thought crossed my mind and made me shake even more… What was to stop me from pretending I was a chick like John had jokingly mentioned… I bet even some homely chicks sill made bank on that site…

As my mind pondered on it, the pieces all seemed to line up… I had a bomb apartment, and even a fairly empty inconspicuous bedroom almost no one who knew me had seen… I had enough relationships over the years that buried deep down in my dresser somewhere were a couple female outfits and underwear… I didn’t keep it to be a creep, I was more worried about trying to get rid of it discreetly without being caught and had just gotten lazy and left it all there.

Without even realizing it I had already started looking over the extra bedroom, and then started walking towards my dresser.

I had MASSIVE doubts… But massive doubts could be overwritten fairly easily with desperation I soon learned.

I yanked open my bottom dresser and dug, pulling out a handful of female clothing I hadn’t seen in months. I lay them all out of my spare bed and examined. My mind felt like it was in a haze… as if even it thought I wouldn’t go through with this so it would be best to just do what steps were asked of it until I chickened out…

I had a few mini skirts, some yoga pants and a few sleep shirts, but also several pairs of underwear and a few bras… the collection wasn’t impressive… but I did find a matching black bra, panty and garter belt and stocking set that had belonged to Rita… I smiled thinking about how fun it had been taking this outfit off of her after out fancy date… Rita had stayed over often over the month or so we dated, and had a bad habit of leaving her stuff behind — something I always figured was intentional… But then I also sadly realized that Rita had always been my height and as slight as me. It was probably in my size. I pulled out her clothing from the mix and tossed the rest back into the wardrobe knowing it would never fit me. I had a sports bra and yoga pants, the black lingeries set, a simple pull over sweater dress, a tight black mini skirt, and a few scrappy tank tops in varying colors…

I froze and stared… I wasn’t actually going to pretend to be a woman online was I? Embarrass the hell out of myself with something that wouldn’t likely work, just in a desperate attempt to get a few bucks?

But as I said… desperation can be a powerful motivator.

========================================

I sat in my bathtub and played some classic rock to try and feel at least a touch more manly while I did the most effeminate thing I could think of: I shaved all of my body hair off. I sat there wishing I had some alcohol in me to calm my nerves, but ya know - I couldn’t afford it. Hence why I was now shaving in the first place.

I kept trying to ignore the black lingerie set, mini skirt, and white tank top I had draped on my bathroom sink… but I couldn’t help looking over and wincing on occasion…

I got out of the bath and toweled myself off. Noting how differently that felt with no hair on my body now. I mean hell, I barely had any to begin with, so to be honest, I didn’t really miss it. I shaved my face, despite knowing I would never ever show it. But for some reason it felt like it would be weird to have a stubbled face while doing what I was doing and I couldn’t risk showing anything in the pictures I was about to take that might hint I was anything outside of a woman.

I brought the clothing, my laptop, and my camera phone out to my spare bedroom and turned on a few lights. I felt myself sighing as I did it… as if my body was dragging the rest of my exhausted self through the motions. I set the laptop up on my desk and placed the clothing out on the bed and then caught my reflection in the nearby floor length mirror. I had definitely had massive doubts… up until now… My reflection actually kinda helped make me think this might work. I had wasted away fairly ferociously due to stress and a reduced diet and with a shaved body, I actually did have a pretty damn decent feminine frame. The image kinda shook me. Even my hair which had grown past my ears helped with the illusion. The way my lack of hair cut during cover now framed my face actually did a good job of highlighting my features. For the first time in a long time, I actually felt a bit confident in something I was doing… which… admittedly - was a strange thing to feel considering what I was doing.

I took a deep, finally confident breath and went over to the bed. If I was going to do this, I was going to do it and get it done.

I slipped into the the panties and wasn’t shocked to learn my guess had been right, they fit. They were tight, but they fit. And to be honest, them being a bit tight was good, it made reaching in and tucking my package down way easier. In fact, as I struggled and mashed and forced my dick to comply, I was actually pretty shocked to see just how smooth the front of these now looked. In most cases, touching or poking my dick would have aroused me but maybe because of nerves, or the odd sensations I was now feeling, I actually felt like it did the opposite… Almost pulling in like the air was cold. The thought actually made me laugh for the first time in a while - even my dick was in on the con.

I put the bra on as well, once again not shocked to see it fit, and with not too much of a struggle, I clasped it and adjusted it for my body type. I looked down… I actually showed a little cleavage… it was shocking. I poked them in curiosity and wondered how that was possible. But really, it made sense. Rita had always been un-endowed up top, so of course her bras were designed to push up anything and everything.

I looked in the mirror again… I was convincing… more than convincing… it was… a weird feeling. I just stood. Staring at my body in this bra and panty set… What the hell was I getting myself into?

I sat on the bed and rolled the stockings up my legs as I had seen the many women who used to frequent this apartment do. The sensation was odd… it was like magic as I watched my hairless male legs transform into sexy long female ones as I pulled them up and secured them in place with the garter belt. This time when I looked in the mirror it was actually kind of difficult to comprehend that what I was seeing in the mirror was actually me. It felt like watching a video… I turned around and almost gasped… Jesus… was it just the panties and garter belt or did I always have a feminine ass? I tried to convince myself anyone’s ass in lingerie would look like a woman… but I wasn’t sure if that was true.

I abandoned the skirt and top, if I was going to do this, I was going to dive in and make money. Sex sells. And I had to weirdly admit to myself that this lingerie set looked sexy on me…

I took one gigantic breathe and then spent the next half hour taking pictures of myself. Posing wasn’t hard, I had watched enough porn over the years to know what position women put their bodies into to look good and get attention. Taking the pictures wasn’t even the strange part of this whole adventure, the strange part was looking back at some of them after I took them and actually realizing that… well… I looked good. More than good maybe. I kept thinking about Rita as I posed and displayed my hips and “tits” to the camera… but deep down… knowing that what I was seeing, was actually me… was also oddly hot.

I stopped immediately. I could feel myself starting to get a little hard at the thought — I needed to stop those thoughts immediately. I quickly stripped and put on my boring sweats and t shirt. But, they also felt weird and out of place on my body now that I was hairless. I did my best to ignore this and and then sat down at my computer.

About an hour later I had narrowed down all of my pictures to about six good ones where I felt the lighting, posing, and “tits” and ass looked good enough for someone to enjoy… the process was actually easier than I thought. With my face gone from every picture, it was actually rather easy to imagine the pictures I was viewing as a chick and just picked what my horny male mind found attractive. Hell, there were even a couple with my face I had accidentally caught where my hair landed perfectly in the picture and I still looked like a girl… I hadn’t prepared them as finals for posting - that would never happen, but I had set them aside in a folder - almost out of… pride? Maybe? I wasn’t really sure. Everything about today seemed off and foreign and was a bit scary.

I ended the night by creating my OnlyFans page and setting up all my account info, I put my account name with the female spelling of my name, almost as a FUCK YOU to my father. I listed myself as a cis girl “Just Getting By During COVID to Your Benefit” and set my subscription price at 10 dollars… I had no idea what was really a good range… but with everything about set up I felt like Jordyn was ready to be born…

With the last bit of energy I had left in me, I uploaded my favorite “tits” in a bra picture as my profile picture, and then made my first post as “Jordyn” - uploading all of my selects to the page. It was a bit thrilling, but the thrill really derived from the utter taboo and the fear. And I mean, hell, I looked good. I could probably trick a couple idiots into donating to the “girl” they saw in these pictures.

I sighed heavily and looked at the time. 11pm. So… what now? I had no idea… All I knew was that I was fucking exhausted and stressed out and hungry and ashamed… I drug myself the couple feet to my spare bed and slumped into it… passing out before I even had time to think.

========================================

I spent the entire morning in a cold sweat… I woke up the next day to no traction on my page at all. No follows, no nothing. As the morning wore on I just got more and more worried. First it started as me reprimanding myself for ever thinking something so stupid would EVER work. Then I started feeling foolish and stupid for even attempting it. At one point I even started second guessing myself “Did I not look like an attractive woman?” And that was even more confusing to deal with, because of course I shouldn’t have cared, but also it somehow was effecting my own self esteem? All this COVID isolation was certainly starting to drive me insane right?

Around 2 in the afternoon, I started to consider pulling the page down, mostly out of pure shame and the confusing thoughts the page kept giving me - and I almost did. Until I convinced myself that I’m sure Rome wasn’t built in a day, and reminded myself that I was still desperate. I distracted myself for a couple more hours, trying my damn best to call more potential job opportunities, but to no avail. Around 6, I jumped into my email before dinner to see if any of my resume submissions had been accepted, when I saw something… an email from OnlyFans.

I had gained a follower about 20 minutes ago. I nearly broke my finger jumping over to my page to see if it was true.

And it was. Someone had spent 10 bucks to see pictures of me practically naked. The sense of pride I got from this was… odd to say the least. And there was an odd sense of calm that washed over me… at least… this hadn’t been a complete failure? At least I had made enough for a burger when I became inevitably homeless.

There username was “LGT333” and as far as I could tell… they had subscribed, but done nothing else… How did this work exactly? Was I supposed to say anything to them? Should I? I stared at my page for about 10 minutes wondering what to do, when I was answered. A message icon popped up on the top of the page. LGT333 was messaging me. I considered ignoring it.. but I knew that wasn’t going to happen.

I jumped to messages and jumped in, and my heart dropped…

LGT333: I can see what you’re doing.

I locked up… a million thoughts flashed through my mind but the big one was that he knew. Somehow he knew and I was already caught - I hadn’t even kept up this charade for a day. My fingers hovered over the keyboard… I didn’t know what to say. Should I even say anything at all? They responded before I could

LGT333: Admittedly you pulled it off really well. The look is great.

I finally found my fingers moving, he seemed… Okay with knowing? What was this?

Jordyn: What do you mean?

I nearly slapped myself… what a cliche way to respond. But it was already too late, I had sent it. Maybe denying or playing dumb was the way to go and he’d get off my back. I dove in.

LGT333: I mean the fact that you’re a guy.

Jordyn: That’s insulting.

LGT333: No it’s not, it’s true. And I mean, I get it. So is that really you or are these pics taken from someone else?

Jordyn: It’s me.

LGT333: Prove it. Take a picture of the same room without anyone in it.

I paused… I had nothing to prove to this guy… but also… Maybe this was just part of the game. Maybe any new girl on OnlyFans got accosted to prove they were who they said they were. I took a snapshot of the room behind me and sent it.

LGT333: Oh wow, okay, so that really is you. Genuinely shocked.

Jordyn: Yeah it’s me, and I’m not a guy.

LGT333: I mean, yes you are sweetie.

I paused… I had never been called sweetie in my life… And why would he call me that if he thought I was a guy in the first place? What was this? He continued:

LGT333: Look I get it, I know why you’re on here, everyone is on here. To be honest (something you are not doing) - I didn’t even mean to sign up for your profile, I meant to sign up for a girl named JordynSpinner. Your profile picture was ambiguous so I didn’t even think twice. That’s my bad. But you being an obvious guy, that’s your bad.

Jordyn: What makes you think I’m a guy?

LGT333: Well first off dude, the picture you took in the mirror, look closer between your crotch and the carpet - there is just the slightest bulge that anyone who is looking like, knows.

I jumped to the picture he was talking about. I stared. I could barely even see anything. I mean, maybe, if you looked really really intently and imagined that was what it was… but nobody in their right mind would see the pic of my body in that picture and assume that was a guy’s bulge. I jumped back in to tell him he was wrong when I saw the next message he sent.

LGT333: Also dude, in the mirror you can see the reflection out in your hallway. I can see you name on that box by the garbage. It’s Jordan, not Jordyn. You are also super lucky I’m not some creep otherwise they would have your address. May wanna work on your cropping skills.

I broke into a sweat and jumped back to the picture, he was right. It was a clearly labeled box. I deleted it immediately and jumped back in to explain myself and backtrack, but again, I was too late.

LGT333: Okay yeah the pic gone now lol So, I assume I am right? So are you trans or what?

Jordyn: What do you mean?

LGT333: Like are you in transition or going to be? Or are you gender fluid? You obviously aren’t a cis girl like your profile says, which is stupid. You would make way more money just being Trans anyway and embracing it.

Jordyn: Okay look man, I can refund you the money, and we can just pretend this never happened.

LGT333: I don’t care about 10 bucks. Either way I’ll jerk off to the pics, so whatever.

I locked up again. I mean, yeah, I was posting pictures of myself all girly… Did I not think guys wouldn’t be jacking off to that? What the hell did I think OnlyFans was for? I guess I just, hadn’t really accepted yet that that was what men would be doing to my pics… How had that never really crossed my mind while putting this stupid plan into action and why the hell would he jack off to my pictures if he actually believed I was a guy? But out of all of this, all I really honed in on was “make more money”

Jordyn: Why would being trans make me more money?

LGT333: Damn you really are new to this. Because you’re a specific kink sweetie, like, you have a girly body for sure, but if you really want to gain a following get into some of that like feminization shit. Like, get people on board knowing you’re a guy or a trap, but you want to get girlier for them. Like seriously I follow so many different artists here but trans girls with a fem kink have fans fucking tossing drool at them. Did you do like no research on this shit at all lol

I should have felt ashamed by his demeaning comments, but instead I couldn’t help taking in what he was saying.

LGT333: I mean, what was your plan here exactly? How long before people asked to see more? Or one slip up made any straight guy want to kill you for lying to them? Christ, you already failed in your first post lol Do you even have social media to give people this link? At least post on a few reddit forums as a fem kink or you won’t see jack shit as far as traffic goes. This is like basic level shit sweetie.

That nickname again… I wanted to tell this guy to fuck off and shove the word “sweetie” up his ass… but… really he was actually making some good points… I had expected this to be easy. I felt like a dick… Why did I think a woman could just jump on and immediately make hundreds of dollars without putting any effort in?

Jordyn: Okay… yeah, I’m not trans, I’m just figuring things out

LGT333: You aren’t trans? Could have fooled me with that body. Seriously guys would be drooling over you, especially if you told them you want them to push you further. What does your face look like?

I don’t know why I did it, maybe all the advice he was giving me freely broke some kind of barrier, or maybe hearing his odd demeaning comments struck a nerve for someone who had spent the last few months socially isolated and alone… but I grabbed my favorite face pic from that folder and sent it to him. After a beat, he responded:

LGT333: Okay yeah, you’re gonna be just fine sweetie. You’re cute, and can easily become hot AF with a little work.

Jordyn: thanks!

Thanks? Why was I thanking him? He was doing the negging guy thing I used to do to women... what was wrong with me? I knew how this worked - I was a guy.

LGT333: Any chance I can see your clit in those panties? I’ll tip you.

My clit? What the fuck. This was getting weird. Posing as a woman for money was one thing, but getting into fetish kink trap/trans stuff was never part of the plan.

Jordyn: I appreciate the advice and will consider it, but I don’t think so.

LGT333: Aw come on sweetie, put some panties on and snap a pic. I’ll toss you 20 bucks.

20 bucks? For one picture? I mean fuck... the guy had already seen a lot of my body... Why should I care? Right? I still hesitated. He seemed to pick up on that.

LGT333: okay fine, I’ll prove how much you can make on my suggestions. Put on that bra, panty and garter belt set and send me a little video agreeing that you are going to be a good trap girl for me and make some money.

Okay fuck this. I’m a straight man, not some dude’s plaything.

LGT333: Do that and I’ll tip you 150 dollars. Slip into that sexy lingerie, look me right in the eye, and say “I commit to being a good trap girl and making my page and my body better.”

My hand wasn’t moving. My body wasn’t moving. 150 bucks... that was a huge deal. It would almost double what I would have left at the end of this month... Could I... just do this thing? Who cares right? I was trying to make money, the opportunity was right there.

LGT333: Do it sweetie. Go get dolled up for me. You have 10 minutes or I walk.

I got up and ran to the bed where the lingerie still was. Hurriedly typing “okay!” into the chat as I did. I quickly tossed the laptop on the bed and starting getting dressed as quickly and safely as I could “Fuck it fuck it fuck it!” I said audibly to my empty room “It’s money Jordan, you need this, and then you can figure shit out. You fucking idiot, this was so stupid to fucking do. Fucking idiot.”

I quickly slid into the sexy panties and slung my arms through the bra straps. Ever so quickly but carefully I slid the stockings and garter belt on, doing my best not to tear a hole through them as I moved. With a few final little adjustments to some straps and the “tits” in my bra, I hurried to the computer and turned on my webcam for recording. I pulled up his message for what to say and saw a new one:

LGT333: good girl. Make sure to say it in your best girly voice and cup your bra while you say it.

I was committed, I didn’t care at this point. I fluffed my hair a bit to try and make it look more fem, and I hit record. Then in what I tried to make sound like my best girl voice, I said it: “I commit to being a good trap girl and making my page and my body better.” All the while I held my bra cups and jiggled my tits a little... Which weirded me out. Not really because I was doing it, but more because with this bra on... doing the action actually kinda felt great.

I hit stop and heard my self audibly groan in shame for what I had just done and said to the camera. I sent it to him before I could change my mind.

I waited... waited... stared... As the seconds went by I started to get more and more anxious, and the lingerie on my body started to feel more and more uncomfortable and biting... Had this guy lied? Was he trying to just humiliate me because I had tricked him? Fuck! That had to be it! I bet he just wanted revenge so he could use this to-

The message hit: LGT333 sent you a 150 dollar tip.

I couldn’t fucking believe it. He actually sent it. What the hell was I getting into. Another message came in right after.

LGT333: Yeah sweetie, you’re going to drive the boys wild. That was so fucking hot.

Again, a weird sense of pride swelled within me. Pride that he though I was hot... pride at the prospect that dudes would desire me... it was a super foreign feeling and I wasn’t sure my COVID rattled lonely brain was ready to process it.

LGT333: you definitely need more sexy lingerie don’t you?

Was this his offer for more money?

Jordyn: yeah, probably.

LGT333: not probably. Say yes.

Okay. I got it now, this guy was into like domination shit. I get it. I was always a dom when I went after my women. I knew what he wanted me to say because I knew what I wanted my women to say... But was I really going to play into this? I wasn’t a sub. Far from it. I didn’t owe this guy anything... I could just walk-

Jordyn: yes I do.

Fine, if it meant potentially more money, I would type yes. Who gave a shit. This didn’t mean anything. Nobody would know.

LGT333: I mean you really need a closet full of bras and panties to pull this kinda thing off. I bet you wish you had a lot more bras to show off on that cute little smooth chest of yours.

Jordyn: yeah that would definitely make this easier

LGT333: let me post that face pic of you on Reddit. Let me tell them you want to turn from a fem looking boy to a sexy woman and that you want them to donate to make that happen. If you let me do that, I will give you another 150.

I didn’t know what to say... I mean. I was pretty unrecognizable in the lingerie, another 150 was another big step towards surviving this whole thing... and even if someone recognized him... So what? I could just stop this whole game. Even just a week of this would be enough to let me get by long enough for another job.

Jordyn: Okay. I agree.

LGT333: good girl. You’re going to make such a beautiful woman.

I want to bed with an icy feeling that night... I had made money sure... but at what cost? I had no idea...

========================================

LGT333 had been right, the idea of turning a cis man into a woman was a popular fetish. I woke up the next morning to 40 new subscribers, and I couldn’t even believe it. Somewhere the post had exploded... my inbox had a handful of messages, most of them echoing what LGT had talked about last night: all of them telling me how hot I looked and how excited they were to see more of me, and watch my “evolution.” What the fuck did evolution even mean? Surely I could get by just posting some more pics in a pair of bra and panties for a while and make some bank right?

I took a few more pics in the white tank top and skirt this time and uploaded them, and within minutes the compliments came in. But this time with more demands “you should show us those breasts babe!” And “we need more pics of your clit!” were all rampant.

My mind was a buzz. I had always thought of myself as a player with game, and good at dirty talk, but these guys didn’t hold back.

At one point a new follower offered me 50 bucks just to see me put on a bra... so I complied, but felt so nervous l the whole time I did it... Knowing what the guy on the other end was probably going to be doing while watching this footage...

Around 3pm I heard a knock at my door and I quickly threw on a robe and a mask to answer it. A delivery driver stood there with a package in hand, and handed it over after I signed.

It was unaddressed for return. And for a brief second, I had hope that maybe my brothers or mother had sent me a discreet care package. But as I moved to the kitchen to open it, all I heard was rattling inside.

Instead of cash or food, I found two white blank pill bottles. One with a red lid, and one with blue. Inside was a handful of purple and pink pills. Had I accidentally intersected a drug drop? What the hell was this?

At the bottom of the box was a simple letter: Check you OF messages. My heart sunk. How the fuck did a follower already have my address? What the fuck was going on?

========================================

I jumped on to my messages but saw nothing to indicate what I had gotten in the package, until a few minutes of waiting.

A new message from LGT333 popped up… I connected the dots. Turns out he was the exact creep who would use my address. The pit in my stomach was worse than anything I had ever experienced - even more than my financial. I didn’t want strangers having my address. I reluctantly opened the message.

LGT333: It says it was delivered. Did you get it?

Jordyn: Why did you send me something? What are these? This is weird.

LGT333: LOL, this is weird? Not everything you’ve done up to now?

Jordyn: You shouldn’t be sending me things

LGT333: You better start getting used to that, your fans are going to want to send you all sorts of sexy stuff soon. I see your profile is much more active today.

I felt compelled to say it… I didn’t want to, but he had helped me do it. At this rate on my page it may actually work in pulling me out of debt and returning me to financial security. I cringed a little as I typed it:

Jordyn: Yeah, thank you for what you did. It honestly helped.

LGT333: Of course sweetie. And you can help yourself and me even further by taking one of each of what is in those bottles.

Jordyn: What are they? They almost look like some kind of ecstasy pills. This better not be illegal.

LGT333: Oh it’s not illegal sweetie. It’s just not how someone normally goes about this. Most girls like you would be grateful for what I just handed you though. I work in the medical field, know a few people willing to help me out. Really easy to do with everyone distracted by COVID these days. Nobody really paying attention to things unrelated.

Jordyn: So what are they though? Painkillers?

LGT333: Nothing nefarious like that sweetie. Those are hormones. Anti-Androgen’s to slow down your icky testosterone, and Estrogen to help fill you out and get you curvy.

I audibly said “What the fuck?” To my room. I pulled up a new tab and did a quick google search of the color and symbols I saw on the pills… He was right from what I read… Why the fuck would he send me these? I jumped back over to ask and saw a new message:

LGT333: I just want to help you on your journey like everyone else. 50 dollars for every pill I see you take. And you need to take at least 1 of each a day for me.

My hands froze on the keyboard… I quickly calculated... 50 times about 30 days a month would equal... 1,500 dollars... that was almost enough to make rent in this fucking expensive apartment this month… Holy fuck... that would solve my issues almost immediately this week.

Jordyn: Are you serious?

LGT333: 100 percent serious babygirl. I want to see those bras fill out. You deserve it. Besides. You want to make this easier right? Make the big bucks and survive this whole thing?

The offer was tempting, but there was no way I could start something so dangerous. These pills were designed for trans women who actually wanted to transition, not my stupid game I was playing. The repercussions could be serious... But then again... What harm would taking them even for a couple days do? Even 10 days wouldn’t do anything to me... right? That would be 500 dollars without even trying or working for anything…

LGT333: You there babygirl?

The message binged into my inbox and startled me from my thoughts. I tried to ignore the new nickname he was giving me.

Jordyn: Sorry yeah, I’m just thinking.

I paused. What the fuck was I doing? No way. No FUCKING way in fact was going to be my answer. Some guy wasn’t going to convince me to take pills designed to give me girly curves and fuck with my body. What the hell was I even considering? I moved the pill bottle towards the end of my table, for the trash... but then another bing.

LGT333: Well let me help you make the decision for you then. Take 1 of each right now, and I’ll give you a bonus: 1,000 dollars right now to make sure you get started on your journey.

I froze... 1,000 dollars??? What the fuck? Where did this guy have this kind of money? There was no way he actually did right? This was all some stupid online role play thing. My mind was reeling.

LGT333: You there babygirl? Is that a yes?

I heard the bing but just continued to stare, mouth open… I hesitantly typed:

Jordyn: I don’t know, how do I know you are for real?”

A couple seconds and the bing was almost deafening to my ears…

“LGT333 just sent you a 1,000 dollar tip”

I audibly fucking gasped. This was for real... What the fuck was I getting myself into? This was way way out of hand.

LGT333: Hopefully that shows I am for real babygirl... Now send me a little video of you taking each pill, and I’ll tip an extra 200 if you slip into that cute little black satin bra from the other day. I can’t wait to see it fill out. This time I want you to tell me what size your bra is as after you swallow.

I hesitated... what was stopping me from getting the money and just... not doing it? What if I grabbed a different pill instead? Did I have similar looking pills? Ibuprofen? No, looked nothing like it…

LGT333: Tik tik tik babygirl, I hope I don’t have to ask for a refund.

That got me moving, without thinking I raced over to my dresser and yanked open a drawer, I quickly pulled out that “cute little” black bra and slipped it on after quickly checking the label for size, and trying my damn best not to think about the fact that I was about to swallow a pill designed to make it fit better.

I rushed to the webcam and quickly fluffed my hair and adjusted the light all while audibly yelling “FUCK, fuck fuck fuck what am I doing??” I cracked open each bottle and took a single pill out.

At this point I was just in a stressed out haze. And while trying my damn best not to think about what I was doing I hit record on the webcam. In my most fluid and feminine attempt at gestures, I showed the webcam the two pills, and then tossed them into my mouth... and swallowed... I then showed my empty tongue and mouth to the camera and for good measure grasped the cups of my bra and lifted them like I expected something to happen and stated “36A”… then I hit the stop bottom.

I tried to avoid thinking about what I had just done as I hit upload and then send to my insane follower LGT333… but as the video finished sending and told me “Delivered” I suddenly freaked. Looking down at my soft hairless body and the damn bra I shouldn’t have had on... fuck... I needed to vomit those up NOW!

Another bing made me close my eyes... I breathed slowly, and considered not reading it... but of course, I had too. This guy had paid me 1,000 dollars. I owed him something... right?

He had sent the extra 200 dollar tip, and a message that read:

LGT333: Fuck, I’m so proud of you babe. You are going to look amazing soon. Though to be honest, your body even just as it is now is just so feminine and girly and sexy. You are seriously the hottest tgirl on the Internet in such an early stage in her career. You are going to make so much money here.

A weird weird part of me felt pride at that comment... hottest tgirl on the Internet? I wasn’t even trying and he thought I was that hot? Fuck, how hot could I get if I actually tried?

LGT333: Anyway, gotta go babygirl. You should wear that bra set to bed though, just to get used to having to wear one all the time soon. In fact. I demand that you keep it on. And before bed you will put on a that sexy garter belt and stockings. I want a picture in the morning showing you wore it all for me. Night.

And with that he logged off... leaving my head spinning... what the fuck had I done? And why wasn’t I immediately heading to the toilet to puke these back up?

I just sat there, in an utter haze, unmoving, for about 30 minutes straight. Staring at the screen. More messages came in from other followers and new subscribers but I just ignored them...

Finally, around 1am, I got up and slowly walked over to bed... and without even really thinking, made sure to keep my bra on as I curled up under the covers... I lay there for about 10 minutes... And then some sort of unknown power almost seemed to pull me up and out of bed. I walked over to my dresser and put on my garter belt and stockings. I knew I wasn’t beholden to it... but he had just given me so much money it felt weird lying and not actually doing it.

I crawled under the covers and felt... sexy in all of this somehow... despite knowing I shouldn’t. Almost like I finally had a woman in bed with me again. Isolation was really starting to fuck with me.

========================================

I woke up the next morning and reluctantly took the picture of what I was wearing. I’m not even sure why, I think a part of me felt massive guilt for the amount of money this guy was spending on something I was going to stop doing soon.

I sent the pic to him but got no response. I actually felt a massive sense of relief. Maybe he was disappointed. Maybe this was over for him now.

My follower count had doubled in 24 hours, and more pics were being demanded. The problem was I didn’t have much more to wear that would be considered sexy. So I tossed on the sports bra and yoga pants and simply stated I would be working out today on my page with a simple picture.

I got so many responses of “Fuck yeah, work on that sexy trap body for us.” And “That booty is already killer.”

I looked at myself in the mirror... I did look pretty cute. I always did like tight yoga clothing on a girl. And I could use a little exercise. It would probably put me in a better mood and be a nice distraction from the odd internet persona I was creating.

I actually ran on my little treadmill for about an hour, before a knock at the door dislodged me from the sprint. I put on my mask and headed over again and opened it. It wasn’t until I felt the cool breeze of the hallway air hit my stomach that I realized the horror of my situation. I was still in the cute sports bra and yoga pants.

The delivery guy didn’t even flinch, “Hey miss, another package for you.”

This time it was a big cardboard box that he gladly handed over. As I retreated back into my apartment and turned to close my door with my foot, I one hundred percent caught the guy staring right at my ass... the door clicked closed... and I actually laughed out loud. What the fuck was I doing? Isolation was truly getting to me wasn’t it…

The unmarked address clued me in on who this was from - but yesterday had been too stressful for me, and my body just kind of accepted I had gotten this now without much hesitation. It kind of just felt like “Oh well… here we go again” And Inside it this time was about every bra and panty set that probably lined the walls of Victoria’s Secret...

“Oh god…” I said defeatedly. There had to be like 30 bras in here, all push ups, but most of them were 36C... why C? Actually, only a couple seemed to be 36A, And there were panties in several sizes and colors… This was not cheap. Not cheap at all.

I quickly jumped on my messages on OF. This was getting out of hand. It needed to stop. I was not a woman. I did not want to become one. This was not worth it. I saw he was online and messaged him:

Jordyn: What the hell are you doing?

LGT333: just figured I would help jump start you, your fans aren’t going to be satisfied with just the black bra set sweetie. So I got you some varieties to show off. You wanna do some kinky chat for a bit? Would be fun. I Dom you Sub?

Jordyn: I know what you did, but why? This is crazy expensive

LGT333: this’ll be fun. And not to me sweetie, for me it’s worth it to see you reach your full potential

Jordyn: I can’t keep doing this, it has to stop

LGT333: no it doesn’t sweetie, that’s just your boring boy side talking.

Jordyn: no, we are done here

LGT333: no we aren’t sweetie, inside that box is a cute little dark blue bra, panty, and garter set that I know would look amazing with your hair and eyes. You are going to go put it on. And then you are going to jump on this message thread, and you are going to take another two pills for me. And you are going to thank me for all the cute sexy lingerie I just bought you.

Jordyn: I am not. I can just stop talking to you. Or block you.

LGT333: no you aren’t going to do any of that. You are going to go march to the box right now missy. Or I am going to send this little video of you telling me you want to be a sexy little trap to your entire family.

My heart fucking stopped.

I should have fucking known. I had dug my fucking grave. What the FUCK was I thinking. I felt my body break out in a sweat that already added to the sweat from my workout. I had no words to type. Did he track me down via my name? Did he know who I really was? Who my family was?

LGT333: that’s what I thought. Tik tik tik girly. Get that sexy little set on NOW

Jordyn: I just got done with my workout, I need a little time

LGT333: 30 minutes

I bolted, stripped out of my workout gear and leapt into the shower. Meanwhile, the whole time, I had my phone outside of the curtain as water rushed over me, as I looked up old contacts and searched Google for what to do with blackmail. My head was spinning, this could not be legal, should I call the cops? Fuck... I would have to explain all of this... including how I lied about who I was in the first place for money... that wasn’t an option... fuck fuck fuck... I had to play for now, and weigh my options later.

I quickly blew try my hair and then hurried to the box and pulled the set out… He wasn’t wrong… It was fucking hot. Dark blue and black lace and satin... I would kill to peel this lingerie off of a woman... and now I felt like I would be socially killed by everyone I knew if I didn’t put it on.

The matching panties were a thong... and they honestly looked amazing on my ass... the garter belt hugged my awkwardly wide hips perfectly... and the bra definitely pushed up my tits to full display, it was one of the few bras that were a 36A... fuck... this was what he wanted... He wanted to make body to change and shape and fit these clothes better... the fuck was wrong with this guy… I finished with the stockings and ran to the computer — messaging him at about 28 minutes after his last message

Jordyn: Ready

LGT333: Good girl. Livestream for me.

I shuddered, then put on my best fake smile and turned it on for him. He remained messaging as he watched me and I audibly responded to him:

LGT333: fuck baby. You look fucking amazing in that,

“Thank you” I whispered

LGT333: fuck... even your girly voice is just so hot. Aren’t you glad you’re going through with all of this?

“I am, yeah,”

LGT333: do you have your pills sweetie?

“Right here!” I held them up... they felt like fucking fire in my hand. I did not want to swallow any more of these

LGT333: look me right in the eye and tell me you want to take them

“I want to take them.”

LGT333: don’t know if I believe you.

“I want to take them so bad.”

LGT333: why do you want to take them?

“So... so that I fill out properly?”

LGT: uh huh, you want those bras I bought you to fill out don’t you?

“Yes, I do.”

LGT333: then say that

“I want these sexy bras to fill out for you.”

LGT333: fuck babe, that’s hot. Swallow them!

I swallowed, trying my damn best not to wince and choke on camera as I did... they tasted horrible despite really having no taste.

LGT333: such a good girl... now... take two more.

My heart rate quickened, I had done what he wanted, I shouldn’t have to take more. But I knew hesitating was a bad idea right now, I needed to get him what he wanted and get off the line. I took two more without any further hesitation.

LGT333: oh you greedy little girl. You really want those boobs don’t you?

“Yes I really want my boobs to come in.”

LGT333: we may have to get you some implants to help speed up the process sweetie, what do you think.

“I would... I would love that.”

LGT333: I know you would sweetie. Which is why I already scheduled you for an appointment.

“Fuck you man.” I finally snapped and yelped it angrily at him. This was getting too insane and my male side couldn’t take it anymore. But my snapping didn’t seem to help the situation:

LGT333: no fuck babygirl, you liar. You want to act like a bitch on the Internet then you can be a bitch on the internet. What do you think your poor daddy would do to you if he ever saw this fucking video huh? Now you fucking tell me you want implants right fucking now.

“I... I want implants.” I resigned again, trying to reign in my terror and anger until I could find a way out of this.

LGT333: and tell me right fucking now that you want to go tomorrow to get them.

“I want to go tomorrow to get them.” I obeyed and stated politely.

LGT333: now pull up your OnlyFans page and post that you want to go in for implants soon sweetie.

I was sweating profusely, the bra around my chest suddenly burned, the idea of wearing one permanently was terrifying. I wasn’t going to post that, I couldn’t, this was a nightmare. But he continued:

LGT333: Copy and paste this exact post “I can’t believe it! My doctor was able to squeeze me in and now thanks to you, I am going in for breast augmentation hopefully soon! Going from an A to a C cup if all of this support keeps up! Soon this bra will be filled and replaced with a more fun size for you all to enjoy!” And then I want you to take a nice cute pic of you in that sexy little bra you have on and smile for them.

I was at a loss, he literally had me in a corner. I was defeated in this situation for now. I copied the words and pulled my phone out, trying my best to smile as I took a pic... I did look so girly in that camera god dammit. Why did I have to look like this?

I uploaded and pasted the caption he told me to write.

LGT333: good girl. Feels good to be honest doesn’t it. Let’s sit here and read those comments to me as they come in.

So we did, and they landed fast:

“Oh my god I am so excited for you Jordyn”

“Fuck you are going to look hot in c cups.”

“I can’t wait to jerk off to those big new titties”

“You deserve nice big tits so bad!“

“Such a good girl for us!”

LGT333: See sweetie, they adore you. They are so excited for you!

“Yes, they are”

LGT333: aren’t you excited?

“Yes I am.”

LGT333: Don’t you deserve big beautiful tits Jordan?

“Yes I do.” I stated calmly and collectedly. But behind my voice, I could feel them welling up and almost couldn’t hold back the angry/frightened tears from my eyes.

There was a very long pause in his messaging me. I waited for some new shoe to drop. And finally:

LGT333: okay yeah you’re amazing at this. No wonder you jumped on so quickly to the fem kink side of things. That was fun. I wonder if your fans will help pitch in to pay for them eventually.

“Wha... what?” I gasped out loud.

LGT333: I bet you get like 100 more fans before the week ends.

“I... I’m... the implants?”

LGT333: you okay?

“No I... what the fuck do you mean am I okay?” I felt a tear roll down my cheek as my brain tried to process his sudden attitude shift.

LGT333: you... you didn’t think I was serious did you? I can’t even save these videos on this app, Jesus Christ you seriously did no research on this did you? I asked if you wanted to kink chat... that was what I was doing.

I felt the sweat on my skin someone get ice cold... Was he joking? Was that just kink play? What the fuck was happening?

LGT333: oh shit sweetie, you thought I was serious? I’m sorry, you look so flustered..... But still super cute in that set.

“But... the bras are all... and I... that was just...” I pointed back towards the box he couldn’t see off screen.

LGT333: yeah, I figured eventually you may need more bras when you fill out.

“I’m so confused...” I blubbered.

LGT333: you actually thought you were going in for surgery, like tomorrow?

“I don’t know what I thought man! I just... Jesus Christ what a relief...” I fell back into my chair, my head for the first time in minutes finally started slowing down.

LGT333: I would never actually do that to someone sweetie… probably… I only have your first name from the address in the pic, I don’t even know who you are.

I couldn’t believe I had taken that so seriously... this set was probably soaking wet by now with my stress... a weird part of me hoped it didn’t ruin it... and another part of me realized something odd... how had that whole scenario not set off an asthma attack? I should have died from that much stress? Usually real stress murdered me with attacks... why hadn’t that?

LGT333: Unless... you wanted to get implants

“What do you mean...?”

LGT333: I think you know exactly what I mean. I would gladly pay to see those bras filled out... and maybe even give you a little extra for the trouble.

“I am never going to do that man.” I stated bitterly “That last 30 minutes nearly killed me.”

LGT333: again I’m sorry but you seemed super into it. And we’ll see about that... plus you have a girly body... I bet those pills will work wonders...

“Those... those aren’t actually real either though right?” I asked hopefully.

LGT333: I’m, no, sweetie, those are real, that was why I paid you so much to take them.

“I am going to stop taking them.” I asked almost in the form of a question.

LGT333: no no no, you can’t make money if you don’t show progress. Besides, all that lingerie you own now, would be a shame to waste. You should grab two estrogen pills and tuck them into your bra cups for me right now actually. Let your tits feel what is making them change.

“I’m not going to do that.” I begged.

LGT333: But you will for an extra 100 bucks won’t you sweetie?

My brain was broken. I didn’t even know who I was anymore. I picked up the pill bottle and took two out... what the fuck was I even doing any more. I gently slid a pill into each cup. It’s not like I was taking more. They were just there... touching my nipples and skin. For 100 bucks. This guy was the crazy one for paying me that much, not me.

LGT333: god you are such a good obedient girl. Feminizing you is going to be so much fun. From now on, you only wear lingerie in that little apartment of yours. I want a bra on that growing little chest and panties on that cute booty at all times. Okay?

“Okay.” I answered. Feeling like the air had been pulled form the room.

LGT333: good girl. This will be fun.

========================================

TO BE CONTINUED IN PART II

Thank you for reading!!!